by Eve Paludan
“Oh, you feel wonderful. ’Tis bittersweet that this might be the last time we can meet in a dreaming.”
“Then we should do it,” I said sleepily. “Do it, in the dream, you know what I’m saying?”
“Tam! I must keep my promise to your mother, and it is a promise to you as well as a promise to the Creator to keep myself pure.”
“Really? Dragons aren’t supposed to make love?”
“I have different rules for myself. I’ve known since I was young that I had to keep myself apart from the flesh of others for some special mission that would come when it was time for it to come.”
“So, you can never do it? That makes me sad for you.”
“I can in my heart, and that is where it counts the most.”
“Oh, Thorn. Why do you have to be so good?”
“Because there is no one else left on Earth who is going to sacrifice himself for the good of others.”
“But someone came once. It’s already paid for! You know who I’m talking about. Him. Christ.”
“Ah, I see now, your heart. Oh, there are so many things you do not know and cannot know.”
“But you told Anthony things that he won’t tell me. And things you won’t tell me.”
“I told Anthony the things he needed to know to help me fight the evil that spreads o’er the earth like a pestilence.”
“My brother has to help you save the world?”
“Believe it.”
“Please tell me why this is necessary. I really want to understand everything that you are going through.”
“I do not know for certain, but consider this, Lady Tam: What if the Christ came for humanity, but he didn’t come for the dragons? What if a dragon had to come to speak for the souls of all the dragons?”
My heart sank as he said that. “Oh, how could that even happen?”
“Well, all of the dragons I have ever known who died, their spirits lingered. They kept me company when I was younger, but I came to believe that they did not have a way to ascend.”
Ascend. It was a serious concept about which I knew little until I started to read people’s minds. I was silent.
“Lady Tam, I do not expect you to believe or understand it.”
“I was silent because I was thinking of my mom. I mean, I’ve been inside of her head and she has an entity instead of a soul.”
Thorn nodded. “So it goes with the vampires, even a vampire-dragon shifter.”
“So, she can’t go to heaven if she dies?” I asked.
“I do not know. I only know that all my dead dragon kin, until I passed through to this world, were trapped as spirits who could not reach some greater plane. And their loneliness and misery at their inability to go forward was such that I cannot repeat the details to your tender ears.”
“Oh, Thorn, so you are the one who is going to save not just the world from destruction, but save the souls of dragons and vampires?”
“Don’t make me into a savior. I could never be Him. But I want to help all the ones, the supernaturals, who cannot yet enjoy paradise. I do not even have proof that paradise exists. All I know is that the Cup is real and who drank from it and who left it for me to care for.”
“And Beowulf stole it from you.”
“Yes, and when he did, I believe he stole the spiritual birthright of dragons and vampires, vampire-dragons and others, I don’t even know their names. I wept over Grendel, an enemy, and I wept over his mother’s grave, those lowly ogres who were robbed of life by Beowulf and perhaps, also robbed of the afterlife.”
“Oh, my goodness. Okay, I am starting to understand, so thanks for explaining things to me. And Anthony, who was a vampire, briefly, but now is somewhere between human, former vampire, and some sort of flame-thrower creature, he is at risk, too, of being robbed of the afterlife?”
“I cannot say because I do not know. I am following my heart, the purest parts of me that I can stir to the surface.”
“Is Anthony a dragon?”
“Dearheart, I do not know what to call him, except a brother of the heart. A brother I never had, until now. He gave me the clothes off his very back and taught me some things to be a good modern man, so I can survive here… for as long as I am bound to this plane.”
“I see. And my mother? She fits into this battle with evil, too.”
“Yes. Her, also. Her afterlife is certainly at stake. Is this enough truth for you, Tam?”
“Not yet. What about me? I’m mortal.”
“Yes, you, too. We are all in this together. You are my beloved, my chaste beloved, and my greatest earthly temptation. I can wring the goodness out of us, out of our love for each other, and use it for strength, but if I fall, you go with me, Lady Tam. And not to the afterlife. The flames there are nothing compared to—”
“Okay, I get it, enough! That’s all pretty freaking scary.”
“I regret if I frightened you, but you did ask.”
“Thorn. You and me and Mom and Anthony? We’re going to have to fight the actual devil over the Cup of Forgiveness?”
“We are hurtling toward that. Or, time is hurtling toward it as we speak. I regret to tell you that what your mother finds out about the Cup’s location will surely put us in our last hours together.”
“No, Thorn. Please don’t say that!” I sat up and turned around in the circle of his arms and I kissed him, hard and long. He didn’t pull away and returned my passion with equal passion of his own, if not more. He winced as I rolled over on his sword and the hilt jabbed his hip.
“Please move off me.”
My feelings were hurt until I saw what he was doing.
“You’re taking off your sword?”
He nodded and unbuckled the whole sheath and belt and sword and laid it gently on the floor next to my bed with a soft clank.
“The better to hold you against me.” He reached down a few times to make sure he could reach the hilt of it. Then he opened his arms again. “Lie down on top of me so I can feel your sweet weight upon my heart, for it is my belief that this will be our only time together.”
“I should stay awake so we can talk. And kiss. At least that.” I gave him the sexiest eyes I could muster up.
Be good, I heard him say in my head.
Lust came over me in a sudden rush. Give me a chance to be ‘good’ and I’ll show you everything that I’ve been wanting to do with you.
Don’t tempt me asunder unless you want me to fall from grace, came his words in my head. It would mean more than my own undoing if that happened.
I nodded and said aloud, “I do understand. I apologize. I think for a moment that dark forces were making me say those things to you to tempt you.”
He chuckled. “I do not doubt that in the very least.”
“Thorn, you alone must set our course then. You set the boundaries. You show me what you want to show me. I trust you to do all of that. And also, to stop me if I start to cross the line you drew.”
“As you wish. I will meet you in the dreaming. In fact, I will always meet you in the dreaming, as long as I am able,” he said and swept his hand across my eyes.
And that was all we said right then because I went out like a light.
***
In the dream, I was standing on a little round stool while a bunch of ladies in Renaissance costumes surrounded me. They were having a gabfest while they sewed the hem of my amazing blue dress, so blue it almost hurt my eyes.
A pleasant woman, whose face seemed familiar to me said, “Cease your fidgeting, so I can finish the bodice.” I felt the warning prick of a needle at my waist and realized what they were doing.
“Ow! You’re sewing me into my dress?” I asked in amazement.
“Well, you can’t go to your own handfasting in the altogether!” said the woman with the familiar face.
“Well, she could, but then we would all have to do that,” said another woman. “And what a waste of a month of sewing that would be!”
All of the ladie
s tittered.
“Handfasting?” I said, wracking my brain for the word. “What are you talking about?”
The ladies tittered again, and I suddenly realized why her face seemed so familiar.
“I know who you are. You’re Thorn’s mother!” I said.
“Who else would I be, my almost daughter-in-law?” She smiled and helped me down off the stool and said, “Turn in a circle, so we can make sure you won’t trip for the dancing.”
I did a spin for her and the ladies clapped their hands in delight.
And suddenly, it dawned on me what a “handfast” was. Oh, wow, talk about an intense dream! My face got hot, and I was sure it was red, too. “Please, where’s Thorn?”
“He’s been dressed for hours and hours. He’s down at the forge, finishing your gift.”
“The forge? He’s making me a sword?” I asked.
Thorn’s mother laughed and said, “Now, if you have Thorn, whyever would you need a sword of your own? Unless, of course, you plan to use a sword to fend him off on your First Night?”
Now all the ladies were laughing, and I was truly embarrassed.
“Um, hey, I’m not that kind of a girl. And I should go talk to him. Right now.”
“Not before we finish dressing your hair, Lady Tam.”
They were all pulling on my hair now, arranging it and braiding it and pinning it. I had no idea what it looked like, but I was sure no modern American woman ever had so many giggling hairdressers at once.
“Please,” I begged. “I have to see Thorn.”
“Oh, you will. In fact, you’ll be seeing a lot of him,” said another woman. And more giggles ensued.
While I let them arrange my hair and place a crown of flowers in it, I sent Thorn, wherever he was, a telepathic message: Where are you, Thorn? I need you. Now!
A little overeager to bed me, even before the ceremony? came his teasing thought into my head.
Quit fooling around, Thorn, and tell me where you are in this dream.
At the forge, came his answer. Go out the front door and follow the stream down to the mill. You’ll see the smoke and steam rising from my forge. Come, my love, and see your gift from me.
It was some minutes before I could get away, as the ladies were now stuffing me with sweet, gooey honey cakes and giving me horribly embarrassing tips about the ‘unveiling’ mechanics of that thing called First Night.
“I need some air,” I told my future mother-in-law. “Can you sweet ladies please release me from this coffee klatch?”
“Of course, my dear,” said Thorn’s mother. “You are ready to be hand-fasted now.”
I laughed in my most sarcastic Tammy attitude. “Trust me, I’m not ready yet. I have to see Thorn first.”
“Oh, stop fussing and let her go,” said one of the other ladies. “What’s the harm in letting them have a few minutes together?”
“It’s bad luck for her to see the groom before the ceremony,” another woman said.
“There’s no such thing as bad luck,” I said.
The ladies giggled again and one of them said, “She was born yesterday.”
I went toward the front door and spun around. I asked Thorn’s mother, “Please. What is your name?”
She smiled and said, “You can call me Mother, but my name is Dagna.” She paused. “It means ‘new day.”
“It’s a beautiful name. Thank you for the dress, Dagna. Thank you for everything on this ‘new day’!” I kissed her on the cheek and she kissed me back on the cheeks with the most loving eyes that a future mother-in-law could have.
“I have to go!” I lifted my skirt, so it wouldn’t get dirty, and I ran as hard as I could in the leather slippers they had put on my feet. I followed the stream down to the mill until I saw the smoke and steam of a forge. I ran closer and closer and Thorn came out from a little stone building and grinned at me.
I ran into his arms, and he picked me up and swung me around in a circle. “You look beautiful, my love.”
“Thorn, you are so bad to make this our dream.”
He laughed. “Yes, I’m wicked to the core for tricking you here. Are you very cross with me, dearheart?”
I kissed him hard. “What do you think?”
“Well, I am not certain. You better tell me again with your lips, just how shameful my behavior is!”
We kissed again, and he set me down on the ground.
“You aren’t angry with me at all,” he said.
“No, I think you’re amazing.”
He smiled with those dazzling teeth of his. “What do you think of ancient Denmark in the spring?” He swept his hands over the scenery, and it choked me up how beautiful it was. The sky, so blue, the sea in the distance with its dazzling teal color, the verdant greenery, the grassy hills full of ewes with lambs, the profusion of flowers and the scent of them. The picturesque mill had a huge creaking water wheel and the sound of the big stream rushing. The smell of wood smoke in the air from cooking fires made my stomach growl, even though I had just eaten all those fancy tea cakes.
“It’s beautiful. And you are, too, Thorn. Inside and out.”
He nodded modestly. “You outdo all of Denmark with your lovely face,” he said. “And your lovely heart.”
We hugged, and it was so good to be with him here.
“I met your mother. She’s so sweet and down to earth. She poked me with a sewing needle to make me stop fidgeting. It was hilarious.”
“I get my sweetness and my sense of humor from her and my fierce fighting spirit from my sire.”
I smiled. “Where’s your father?”
“He’s a bit of a rascal. He’ll be at the ceremony, I’m sure.”
“What do you mean by rascal?”
“He has a sharp wit. His handfasting gift to me was a seam ripper for your dress and a hard punch in my sword arm.”
“Oh, my,” I said, grinning.
“He also gave me the forge and the mill, but having no other sons, that would be his duty anyway.”
“It’s a beautiful mill and forge.” I paused. “About the ceremony…” I said, unsure of how to tell him I was worried about doing it.
“’Tis but a dream, Lady Tam.”
“Don’t ‘but a dream’ me, Thorn. Dreams are real, too. I mean, they’re just as real in another dimension or parallel universe, right?”
He nodded. “You know this is so, because you brought my dragon’s crest quill through the dream world and into your world. And spent two of its three wishes.”
“Yep. One wish to go. But, Thorn, this is serious stuff. I know you’re saying it’s only a dream, but why do you want to do this? Get hitched, I mean.”
“Because I love you. Because I have to leave you when I find the Cup of Forgiveness. And because I want us to have this memory of this special day, always.”
“So, this isn’t about First Night and what we would do. In bed?”
“No, no, I promised your mother I would not.”
“So, even in a dream you won’t touch me like that?”
“A dragon’s honor extends to dreams and other worlds and other times. I am the same now, and forever. If I were not, then I would be unworthy of your love.”
I held back tears. “You’re the best, Thorn. You are the sweetest, the most loving, the most selfless man, and dragon, I’ve ever known.”
He bowed his head modestly and then met my eyes again. “I am beyond blessed by your words.”
“If we do the handfasting, what does it mean? I mean, what does handfasting mean to you, to us, not the cultural explanation. But the one we’re going to carry with us wherever we go whether we are together or… apart.”
He smiled. “The joining of two hearts does not rob you of any future, but only adds to who you are in your life path. This day, to me, is a celebration of us, in the here and now. A celebration and connection of two soul mates who found each other, and will abide in love for as long as we can. And will remember each other always.”
&nbs
p; I breathed a sigh of relief. “I’m down with that.”
He got down on one knee in front of me, which made me catch my breath. “Lady Tammy Moon, will you be my bride?”
I sighed, my heart so full of him. “Yes. I will.”
He smiled and lifted me in his arms like he was going to carry me over a threshold or something. And he did carry me over a threshold, into the forge, which was lit with smoky candles that smelled like hamburgers burning on the grill. He kissed me once more and set me down on my feet on the cobblestone floor in the warm room.
“It is time to take your handfasting gift from the waters of the River Guden, the longest and most powerful river in my country. Your gift is imbued with the spirit of Denmark and all of the strength and the history and the power of love from its earth, its water, and its magic.”
“Wow.” I was just blown away, again, by Thorn. He was much more “himself” here, when he was not a fish out of water in modern Fullerton, California. This was his home, and he had brought me here to see him in his element.
He led me by the hand next to a metal basket that was a sluice with holes in it, and I could see something sparkling down in the rushing water.
“Thorn, I just want to let you know that if you made me a sword, that I’ll treasure it.”
“A sword? A big sword for a slip of a girl?” he joked. “Or perhaps a tiny dagger to hide in your sleeve?”
“Hey, I can work out at Planet Fitness and lift a sword someday!”
He laughed and said, “I would never gift a blade to a woman I loved, lest she use it on me during her moon time.”
I laughed and laughed. “You’re freaking hilarious, you know that?”
“As are you. Now, close your eyes, my love, and don’t open them until I say so.”
I clenched my eyes shut and felt him put something around my neck. The weight of it dropped between my breasts and rested there. It was a hard, warm object on a chain.
“Open your eyes, Lady Tam.”
I put my hand over the pendant and opened my eyes. I lifted it on the handmade delicate chain so I could see it. “Oh, it’s a beautiful dragon in a complex design!”
“A handsome dragon,” he corrected me. “In pewter, alas, as my kin is all forbidden from silver, which is poisonous to our kind.”