Gratitude flooded through her. “How is it that you always seem to know the right medicine for me?”
“Instinct.” His eyes were back on the road. The freeway on-ramp was just ahead. “I never lost it when it came to you.”
Except for once, she thought, but she kept that to herself. There was no point in ruining the moment for either of them.
The following Saturday, stirred up by the promise of an outing, Alex bounced out his bed and into her room at the ungodly hour of five in the morning. Ready to roll, he was the very picture of unharnessed excitement.
It had taken her hours to fall asleep and she’d only been at it for less than four. Ilene attempted to rouse herself, even tried to feed off Alex’s energy. But it wasn’t quite enough to successfully transport her from the land of the comatose.
She caught his hand as he bounced up and down again. “The park doesn’t open until nine, honey.”
His enthusiasm didn’t dim by one iota. “We can wait by the door.” His eyes sparkled with glee. “We can be first in line.”
That’s what happens when a mother teaches her child to be early, she thought as she suppressed a moan.
“Why don’t we compromise and wait until eight to leave?” The park was only twenty minutes away by traffic jam. Closer if the cars were moving. It wouldn’t take very long to get there and she doubted Clay would appreciate having to hurry up only to stand in line on his day off. His willingness to take them out was enough. With their present set of circumstances, she and her son couldn’t risk being out in public without Clay’s protection.
Alex gave a mighty sigh, obviously not thrilled at the compromise. Grinning, Ilene threw back the covers and patted the space next to her. Happiness was restored as he wiggled in beside her.
He curled up at her side like a kitten. “I like it here, Mama,” he announced unnecessarily. “Everybody’s nice to me.”
She never lost an opportunity to drive the point home. “That’s because you’re such a polite boy.”
Alex snuggled into the crook formed by her arm. “Mr. Andrew plays with me a lot. He plays really good.” The grin almost split his face as he looked up at her. “He’s fun.”
The correction was automatic. “He plays really well.”
Curiosity took the small brows and sculpted them into a pyramid. “Does he play with you, too?”
Unable to bite it back any longer, Ilene laughed and hugged him to her just before she began to tickle him. The sound of his laughter gladdened her soul.
The sound wove its way through the opened vents of the house, working into the fabric of sleep that surrounded the other household members.
Lying awake in his bed, his hands clasped under his head, Clay heard Alex laughing and smiled to himself without realizing it.
“I think you managed the impossible.” Holding the front door open for him, Ilene whispered the words to Clay. The hour was late, and she should have felt like drooping, but she was far too energized, far too wired to realize just how tired she was.
Clay was carrying her son, their son, she amended silently, in his arms, and the sight had almost made her cry. They looked so right together.
For a split second, the words actually hovered on her lips. Clay, I’ve got something to tell you. Alex is your son. But even now, in the midst of this warm, happy feeling, she felt an iron bar of fear. The words faded without ever being uttered.
Walking into the house, Clay glanced over his shoulder. “How’s that?”
She nodded at Alex. Heading toward the stairs in the darkened house, she let Clay go first. “I didn’t think it was possible, but you’ve exhausted him.”
As he made his way to Alex’s room, Clay laughed under his breath. “The feeling is mutual. He pretty much exhausted me.”
Clay deposited the boy on the bed his brother used to sleep in. Quickly he took off Alex’s shoes, then moved to cover him with the edge of the blanket. Ilene started to unbutton the boy’s shirt, but he stayed her hand.
“Why don’t you leave him in his clothes? That way you won’t risk waking him up.” Then, in case she needed further convincing, he added, “I used to fall asleep in my clothes all the time.”
Ilene withdrew and let him cover Alex. Glancing over toward the window, she saw that the gathering clouds had finally decided to empty. It was drizzling very lightly. “Looks like we made it home just in time.”
For a moment she stared out the window. The rain reminded her of the first time he’d kissed her.
Stop, don’t spoil a wonderful day, don’t let yourself go.
Mounting a mental defensive against the onslaught of memories, Ilene switched on the night-light Andrew had given her for Alex. He’d told her that it had once belonged to Clay, who’d used it for more than half a dozen years to chase away any demons that might have been lurking in the shadows. The story had made her smile.
Her heart swelled as she brushed back the hair from her son’s face. Ilene slipped out of the room. Clay was right behind her and he eased the door shut.
She didn’t want the day to end, but it edged its way to midnight. “Thank you for today,” she murmured, lingering by the door. “He had a really wonderful time.”
Clay leaned his hand on the wall just above her head, creating intimacy out of a space in the hall. “Yeah, I know.” The boy had thanked him more than once, and he’d been on the receiving end of several heartfelt hugs. It surprised Clay to realize just how much he liked them. “He doesn’t exactly keep things bottled up inside. How about you?”
He was so close now, all she had to do was rise up on her toes and brush her lips against his. And invite trouble. But trouble had taken on a very pleasing form. “How about me what?”
His eyes never left hers as they stirred up everything inside. He began to play with the end of her hair. “Did you have a good time?”
Breathing became more difficult for her. “Mothers always have a good time when their kids enjoy themselves.” Copping out, she looked away.
He cupped her cheek and brought her around until her eyes met his again. “I’m not talking to Alex’s mother, I’m talking to you. To Ilene O’Hara.” His voice lowered so that it didn’t carry beyond the small perimeter their bodies formed. “Did you have a good time today?”
She smiled then, one of those smiles that really got to him, curling up in his stomach and then spreading out all through him. Leaving him wanting more. Wanting her. “Yes, I had a good time.”
“How good?”
The words teased along her face, making her tighten like a bow that ached for release. Her throat felt dry as she said, “Very, very good.”
His eyes smiled into hers. “Yeah, me, too.”
She desperately sought something to say, not to just stand here like some pie-faced, moony idiot, dissolving in a puddle right before his eyes. “He likes you, you know. Alex. He likes everyone here.”
“That’s good,” he murmured softly. “Because we all like him.” Weaving his fingers through her hair, he slowly slid them along her scalp. Making her tingle. Awakening anticipation.
She could feel her pulse speeding up, her heart beginning to go into its dance, the one it did every time he was so close to her. Every time she wanted him. This time was no different.
“By the way, did I thank you for gluing his handprint together?”
“Yes—” his eyes held her “—you did.”
Afraid of what she was feeling, she struggled to draw away, but only managed to place less than a fraction of an inch between them. “Clay, this is getting complicated.”
“No,” he said so softly the word all but floated along her skin like magical fairy dust, “it’s getting simple. Very, very simple.”
“No pun intended,” she breathed, mesmerized by the look in his eyes.
“None,” he assured her. His fingers curved along her throat, he tilted her head back.
And then he kissed her.
Again.
Just like the first ti
me.
That same wild crash of thunder echoed in her head as he drew her up to him, holding her closely, his hands on her shoulders. That same delicious, intoxicated feeling spilled through her veins even as her adrenaline poured in from every source.
Her head was spinning and she made no effort to make it stop, made no effort to end the wild ride before it became too dizzying for her. With her whole body and soul, she wanted this, wanted to have him make love to her, with her, just one last time.
Maybe she was crazy; she didn’t know. But after all she’d been through these past couple of weeks, she felt she deserved a little crazy. And a little happy as well. No matter what else was involved, she did know this: Clay made her happy, if only for the moment.
She wrapped her arms around his neck, cleaving her body to his, igniting the fuse that was so short it was almost nonexistent.
Over and over again his mouth shifted over hers, kissing her from all angles, getting lost in the taste and feel of her.
But even as he assaulted her lips, he felt her smile against his mouth. He drew his head back to look at her uncertainly. “What?”
“You taste of cotton candy.” To underscore her point, she ran her tongue along her lips.
Clay could feel desire taking large chunks out of his restraint. “And you taste of everything I’ve ever wanted.”
She fell off the edge.
If there’d been any sort of hope left for her retreat, any chance of backtracking, it was gone now. Evaporated. The last of her resolve had melted in the heat of his mouth, in the heat of his eyes.
But mostly it had disappeared because of what he’d said.
Sealing her mouth to his, she kissed him hard and with every fiber of her being. And in one smooth movement, the captured became the captor. Her lips never leaving his, Ilene reached behind her and found the doorknob. She turned it and managed to open the door to her room.
The action registering on his fevered brain, Clay stopped for a moment and looked at her. Because it was Ilene, because he felt the things he was feeling, things he wasn’t about to put a name to, he held himself in check. One more moment and there would be no turning back. “Are you sure?”
She laughed softly as she looked up at him. “This is no time to interrogate the witness, Detective.”
“No,” he agreed. “Maybe not.”
The next moment he brought his mouth back down on hers and scooped her up in his arms.
Shouldering the door so that it opened wider, he carried her into her room, then eased it closed again with his back. He didn’t want the sound carrying, didn’t want to risk having anyone come out of their rooms to look for her, or ask questions about the outing. That was for tomorrow.
Tonight, at long last, was for lovemaking.
He placed her on the bed, wanting nothing more than to join her, than to be joined with her, but he still felt she needed a moment to think, to be sure, even though she’d said she was.
Even though he knew that if she changed her mind, he would most likely implode sometime during the course of the night.
Moving away from the bed, he went first to the adjoining bathroom and flipped the lock on the door, then to the door that led out into the hallway and repeated the action.
Amused, she raised herself up on her elbow. “Locking me in?”
“Just making sure Alex’s education doesn’t take a quantum leap tonight.”
He was being thoughtful. Damn the man, how was she supposed to ever work him out of her system when he continued to do things like this? He cared about her son, and being nice to Alex was the fastest way into her heart.
“Why?” she murmured teasingly to hide the very real case of nerves she was developing. Her eyes never left him as he crossed back to her bed. “Just what would he be learning?”
“That the birds and bees have got nothing on us.” Lying down beside her, Clay continued talking as he started to unbutton the front of her blouse. “That there are some things about being an adult that make the whole experience worthwhile, even though a lot of it’s just a huge pain in the—butt,” he said at the last moment.
She could feel her skin quivering as the buttons came out of their holes and the material parted, exposing her to him.
His hand slowly glided along her belly, creating havoc, bringing a strange sort of unsettling peace at the same time.
None of it made any sense to her. The only thing that mattered was that she was here with him and that they were going to make love.
Unable to remain passive any longer, she sat up and dragged his shirt from his torso. Tossing it on the floor, she covered his bare chest with her own, fusing her mouth to his.
The heat that erupted nearly singed them both.
It didn’t matter. She was where she belonged, where she’d always belonged. With everything she had ever endured, the only place that was home to her, that had ever been home to her was here, in his arms.
She meant to make the most of it.
Chapter 12
There was no containing his eagerness and no reason to. Whatever else had gone down between them, they had never played coy with each other, never pretended to be indifferent to each other. The attraction had sizzled between them from the very first.
Clay wanted to go slowly, even though everything inside of him raged for release, for that final, exhilarating moment when he was joined with her and the pinnacle was reached. But he also wanted to savor the moment, the journey.
Her.
So he undressed Ilene more slowly than the passions slamming against him demanded. He undid the button at her jeans, then slipped his hand inside, his fingers tantalizingly strumming along her belly as they dipped lower and lower until they finally reached the warmth, taking possession of her.
Ilene twisted and moaned against him, driving him insane with excitement, with desire.
The heat of her loins urged him onward, the heat of her mouth as she kissed his lips and face over and over sealed his fate.
Unable to stand the confines of her clothing any longer, Ilene took matters into her own hands. She wiggled out of her jeans, still moving against him, obviously driving him wild. She felt him grow hard wanting her. The feeling of power sent her head reeling.
“Damn, but I’ve missed you,” Clay muttered between gasps of breath that continued to grow shorter and shorter.
“Less talk, more action.”
It was an order, followed by a laugh as she scrambled to yank his jeans and briefs from his body, moving both aside with one determined swift jerk of her wrists. Before he could make a move, like a person driven she raced kisses along his torso, branding him, enflaming him even more than he thought was humanly possible.
But then, she’d always had that effect on him. Entirely unpredictable, making him forget everything but her while she was in his arms.
It was only after, when the twilight crept into his soul, that he remembered. Remembered that nothing was forever, that everything could be gone in a heartbeat, leaving behind only insurmountable pain. He’d seen it in his father’s eyes, seen it in his own reflection in the mirror after his mother vanished. Ultimately, that was what had driven him away from Ilene, the fear of loss. He told himself that if he never allowed himself to become too attached, then separation would never be a problem. He’d told himself that lie so often over the years, he’d begun to believe it.
But Ilene was back now, at least for the moment, and he meant to enjoy this to the fullest, enjoy her to the fullest. Before she was gone again.
It was hard to pace himself, reining himself in when she captured his senses and his body. Twice he’d felt himself tottering dangerously on the brink, especially when her cool fingers had cupped him possessively.
With monumental effort, Clay shifted positions until he was on top of her. Grasping her hands above her head and holding them in place with one of his own, he turned the tables on her.
The claiming began slowly. A kiss to each shoulder, to the outline of her
collarbone, to the space between her breasts before he feasted on each one.
And all the while he worked his way ever inward and downward.
By the time he’d reached the hollow of her belly, she felt as if she was literally on fire and desperate to have him put it out.
Ilene wrapped her legs around his upper torso, arching her body against him. Craving release, craving the delicious sensations she hadn’t felt for so long. Because once he’d left her life, there had been no one else. She couldn’t let there be. Clay Cavanaugh had been the one love of her life, the one major disappointment. After he’d gone, she’d vowed never to be so exposed again.
But yet, here she was, exposed in more ways than just one. And she didn’t care. Not now. All she wanted was what only he could give her.
She felt his tongue caressing her, stroking the velvet softness. Biting down on her lip, she silenced the whimper that welled up within her throat as she felt the sensation building to a crescendo.
The first explosion racked her body even as the beginnings of the next one followed in its wake.
His mouth created wonderful upheavals within her body, exhausting her, priming her. Making her ready for him.
Ilene tried to follow suit, to make him as insane with desire as he’d made her, but she doubted he could feel the levels, the layers that she was experiencing.
It didn’t matter.
For this one moment in time, he wanted her; she could see it in his eyes. He wanted her more than anything and it was enough.
When she thought that there wasn’t an inch of her body that wasn’t completely exhausted, he came to her, and pulled himself into position. Looming above her, his eyes held hers as he drove himself inside of her. Ilene was so far enveloped with desire, she saw nothing else, felt nothing else, only him, only this feeling.
A bittersweetness hovered just beyond. Because it would be over, and when it was, the sadness would come. But not yet, not yet.
And when the final moment came, when their bodies rocked simultaneously, she tightened her arms around him, whispering his name against his ear. Whispering she loved him within her soul.
Crime and Passion Page 13