And yet no matter how many justifications he thought of, Caspian couldn’t quite make himself believe that Lady Gwendoline wasn’t the wronged party. If he was being honest with himself, Caspian would admit that neither the incident, his long absence from London, nor the wine could justify his poor treatment of Lady Gwendoline.
“You’re distracted.”
Caspian tilted his head toward his brother Noah, who rode alongside him. Their afternoon rides were a long tradition, established in their boyhood. Even in Spain, the brothers had kept the habit of riding the horses down the paths which cut behind the coastal villa.
“I’m sure I don’t know what you mean,” Caspian replied.
Noah laughed. “There’s no use in lying about it, Brother. I know you too well to believe your falsehoods.”
“I suppose you do,” Caspian agreed. “For better or worse.”
“It is certainly for the better.”
“Is it?”
“Of course. It suits a man to be honest far more than it suits him to be dishonest.”
“I don’t know if I agree with that,” Caspian replied. “I think a man who is honest all the time is boring, and one who is dishonest all the time is a scoundrel. Mischief and dishonesty are traits best exercised in moderation, as with all things.”
“Ah. So you’re going to deflect my query rather than answer it,” Noah replied, his eyes alight with amusement. “Perhaps, I should instead hazard a guess as to what is vexing you.”
It wouldn’t take many guesses, Caspian thought.
“Am I correct in assuming it has something to do with Lady Gwendoline?” Noah asked. “And her loud, entirely justified outburst at Lord and Lady Hartford’s ball last night?”
Caspian winced at the soft reproach. Entirely justified. It was quite apparent whose side Noah had chosen in the matter.
And he’s entirely in the right, Caspian thought, with a twinge of guilt.
“Ah, so it is that. Did Father say anything about it?” Noah asked.
“Not a word. But because I didn’t embarrass myself, I’d say the man doesn’t care. Maybe he didn’t even notice or has already forgotten the whole matter.”
Unless one of them had done something wrong, their father seldom spoke to either Caspian or Noah. And the man was only marginally more attentive to his wife, who was possibly the kindest, gentlest woman in the whole of Britain. At least, she was the kindest Caspian had ever met.
“If you had embarrassed us, Father would be sure to let you know,” Noah said.
“Without a doubt.”
“James is upset with you,” Noah added. “He’s convinced you ruined his chance for a good evening with Lady Florence.”
“He’s said nothing to me of it.”
Noah sighed and glanced at the sky. All day, the sky had been gray and overcast, so bloated with clouds that it looked as if a heavy rain would arrive any second. But thus far, there was nothing. Caspian patted his horse’s dark flank and was uncomfortably reminded of Lady Gwendoline’s dark hair. It was just as sleek and shining.
“James wouldn’t say anything to you,” Noah replied. “He dislikes the thought of sowing discord.”
“I’m quite sure Lady Florence will forgive him for it.”
“So you say. I hope you’re correct. If you aren’t, I daresay James will never forgive you for it. He’s quite besotted with Lady Florence.”
“She’s a pretty enough lady. But you need not worry. I have resolved to apologize to Lady Gwendoline when next I see her.”
Caspian glanced at his brother whose eyes widened with surprise. “Are you feeling ill, Brother?”
“No. I am quite sincere in this conviction. I took my mischief too far, and I should have practiced more restraint around Lady Gwendoline.”
“Father will be furious.”
“Oh, please.” Caspian waved a dismissive hand. “As long as I don’t apologize in front of him, I doubt he’ll notice.”
Noah hummed, his lips twitching into a smirk. “Well, then. If that’s how you really feel about the matter. I’m quite surprised, but I approve of you attempting to correct your wrongdoings. Well done, Brother.”
“You speak to me as though I’m a dog you’re proud of.”
“You’re as trained as a troublesome hound,” Noah replied, “So I think it’s fitting.”
Caspian chuckled. “That tongue of yours is going to find trouble someday.”
“Before or after yours?”
As they reached the stables, the stable boys hastened to tend to the brothers’ horses. Caspian dismounted his mare and patted her flank once more.
“It depends upon who you insult,” Noah replied as the two men entered the manor.
Caspian nodded. Try as he might to think of anything or anyone else, his mind kept turning the image of Lady Gwendoline, angry and rebellious, over and over. He had done wrong by her, and despite his resolve to apologize, he still couldn’t tear his thoughts away from her and probably wouldn’t be able to tear them away until he met her again.
Hopefully, it wouldn’t be too long of a wait. Little bothered Caspian more than leaving matters unresolved.
* * *
Stephen Murray, Baron of Sherrifield, was a man known for his cheerful, flamboyant character. He liked to be at the center of everything, and so it was unsurprising that the coming out ball celebrating the birthday of his only daughter Lady Emma, was an extravagant affair.
The Baron’s daughter was a radiant creature with shining, blonde curls and green eyes. She wore a pale blue dress, lined with smooth, shining pearls. Presently, she was in deep conversation with Lady Jane, the daughter of the Earl of Karrinford.
Caspian’s eyes flitted past her and over the rest of the crowd. Lord Sherrifield was a long-time friend of his family and the old business partner of Caspian’s father, who was away and unable to attend the ball. This meant that Caspian was left to assure he spoke to all the right people and in all the right ways.
Alexander gave him a quick wave and approached. Already, the Lord had a glass of wine in hand. “I wondered when you’d make an appearance.”
“Here I am,” Caspian replied. “Anything interesting thus far?”
Alexander shook his head. “It’s been quite a boring affair. We’re all congratulating the Lady of the evening.”
“Boring? That’s quite the condemnation.”
Alexander grinned. “I was hoping to make some mischief. Are you?”
Caspian shook his head. “No, I’m going to be on my best behavior. After the last engagement, I feel I ought to make a stronger effort to be a proper gentleman.”
Alexander snorted. “Was your father that upset about it?”
“No. He didn’t say a word about it, but after some reflection, I realize that I shouldn’t have been so cruel to Lady Gwendoline. My sworn enemy or not, she is a young lady, and I ought to bear that in mind.”
“That’s a dreadful change in thinking. Tormenting beautiful ladies is the most enjoyable pastime I know of,” Alexander replied.
Caspian shook his head. “I shouldn’t have done it, and if she makes an appearance tonight, I have every intention of making amends with the Lady.”
“I hope you aren’t getting into the habit of making amends.”
Caspian merely shrugged. He didn’t see the Lady yet amidst all the women in their brightly colored gowns, but the night was young yet. And Lord Sherrifield was a mutual friend of both the Lockwoods and Farradays. It would be expected for Lady Gwendoline to make an appearance, and surely, her outburst was not such a scandal that she would neglect appearing at a dear friend’s ball.
Especially since she’s an unmarried lady.
Across the room, Noah approached Lady Emma, doubtlessly passing along his birthday wishes. Noah was a true gentleman.
Better than me, truly. Noah is so content to be a gentleman and interact with the ton.
And although Caspian didn’t mind being a gentleman, sometimes, there was just too muc
h to deal with. There was too much required to be a gentleman and too much required to carry the family name. Too much of everything.
Not that Caspian could ever admit that to anyone. He’d tried once when he was young, and his father had told him to cease his complaints. Being a gentleman and a future earl was a good lot in life, one which afforded him comfort and privilege. But sometimes, Caspian wondered if what it required to keep that privilege was truly worth it. He felt as though he was floundering, pretending to be something he wasn’t and forcing himself to fit a role he didn’t know he wanted.
“There she is,” Noah said.
His brother nodded to the entrance, and when Caspian followed the gesture, he found her. Lady Gwendoline. She looked stunning in a scarlet dress that complimented her dark curls. Lady Florence stood at her side, dressed in a soft, peaceful blue. The two ladies crossed the floor, the very picture of polished elegance.
“Good luck,” Alexander drawled. “If it ends poorly, don’t hesitate to call me over. I’m willing to participate in some mischief.”
“When aren’t you?” Noah asked, his brow furrowing. “Do your best, Caspian. I doubt the Lady will be very receptive to anything you have to say on the matter, however.”
Caspian cheerfully patted his brother’s shoulder. “Don’t fret. I can do this.”
After painting a confident smile on his face, Caspian strode across the room, carefully edging around elegant ladies and gentlemen. Lady Gwendoline’s eyes met his, and color immediately rose to her cheeks. She whispered something to Lady Florence, who abandoned her friend’s side.
The Lady walked to Caspian and stood just a few paces away. Her blue eyes were wide but defiant. “If you mean to approach my friend, you should best be aware that she has no desire to speak to you, Lord Caspian. And going elsewhere would be the best option for all parties involved, yourself included.”
Caspian raised his hands as if in surrender. “I only want to apologize to Lady Gwendoline for my behavior at the last ball we attended together.” He looked past Lady Florence, to where Lady Gwendoline waited. It was clear that she could hear him. “Would that be agreeable to the Lady?”
Lady Florence bit her lip. Her eyes swept over him, up and down, before turning her attention to Lady Gwendoline. The Lady’s dark eyes were almost humorously wide with surprise, and her lips parted just slightly, as though whatever she meant to say was lost somewhere in her throat.
“Or,” Caspian continued, “I can shout my apologies from afar.”
And admittedly, that might be precisely what Lady Gwendoline wanted, for him to embarrass himself as thoroughly as he’d embarrassed her. And although the idea was highly unpleasant, Caspian couldn’t deny that such behavior might be entirely justified.
“You want to apologize?” Lady Florence asked, sounding curious.
“I swear that I do,” he replied.
Lady Florence glanced again at Lady Gwendoline, and the dark-haired woman nodded jerkily.
Lady Florence sighed. “Please, don’t make trouble tonight,” she whispered. “Gwendoline is my friend. You have had your fun at her expense, and if you have any respect for me, you’ll be a gentleman tonight.”
Caspian nodded and approached Lady Gwendoline, noting how she drew herself up more as he approached. A few curious couples glanced at them. “Lady Gwendoline, good evening.”
“Good evening, Lord Caspian.”
Caspian stared at her for a long moment. He’d have preferred there not be an audience to their conversation, but he also realized Lady Gwendoline would never agree to leave for somewhere more private with him.
Ah, well. I did cause her discomfort, so it stands to reason that I ought to experience some discomfort in making amends.
“I wanted to say that I am genuinely sorry for my behavior the last time we spoke. I meant only to have a little enjoyment at your expense, but I’ll confess that I went too far. I shouldn’t have provoked you, and I hope you’ll accept my apology.”
Lady Gwendoline blinked at him, but there was something odd in her expression. She looked as if she stared through him rather than at him. It was as if her mind was a thousand miles away.
Caspian couldn’t have said if she was pleased with him, but he was determined to express how apologetic he was. Feeling suddenly emboldened, he cleared his throat.
“It is my hope,” he continued. “That you’ll understand how genuinely regretful I am. And given that, perhaps, we may begin to repair the damage that our families have caused one another. Aren’t you likewise exhausted by this tired feud? I would like to see an end to it. It happened so long ago. Surely, it’s best left in the past, isn’t it?”
Lady Gwendoline stared at him. It was impossible to tell if she believed him, but if she doubted his words, Caspian couldn’t blame her. Finally, she offered a small, tentative smile. “I accept your apology, My Lord. And whatever the future may hold, it warms my heart to hear you express such desires.”
The Lady’s eyes flitted away, and Caspian followed her gaze. Lord Elderdale watched from across the room.
“I must go,” Lady Gwendoline said. “Have a pleasant evening, Lord Caspian.”
With that, the raven-haired beauty turned away, Lady Florence quickly sweeping in beside her. For a moment, Caspian watched the ladies leave. There was no denying how lovely Lady Gwendoline looked, and Caspian had watched her more than was quite gentlemanly. But she seemed distracted.
Caspian hummed and returned to Noah and Alexander. “How did it go?” his brother asked.
“Well enough,” Caspian replied.
But something was occupying Lady Gwendoline’s attention. A quick-tempered woman like that, one who’d been raised on the tales of the Incident, shouldn’t have given ground so quickly. But she had. What could possibly be so important that she would neglect an opportunity to humiliate or vex her family’s great enemy?
As the young lady reached her father, Caspian feigned disinterest. But while Lady Gwendoline had always been lovely, now, she was a mystery. And Caspian did love mysteries.
Chapter 5
After his apology, Gwendoline found that the young Lord Caspian now dominated her thoughts. She found herself standing against the wall, a rare and exquisite wallflower. Watching and waiting. Admittedly, there were worse people and things to focus her thoughts upon, and Lord Caspian had been right about one thing. The feud was best left in the past and forgotten. But Gwendoline still felt as though she ought to turn her attention from Caspian.
Florence, who’d finished a dance with Lord James, one of Lord Caspian’s cohort, joined Gwendoline. A brilliant color had risen to her friend’s cheeks.
“Did you enjoy yourself?” Gwendoline asked.
Florence smiled and nodded. “I have always liked dancing. You know that.”
“And do you like Lord James, as well?”
Florence chuckled. “Well, he’s a most agreeable gentleman, although I know you’ll say he’s too fond of Lord Caspian to be a suitable match.”
“Perhaps.”
Gwendoline paused, considering. Lord Caspian’s apology murmured in her mind, playing it over in her thoughts once more. What had he meant by it? Was he sincere? Gwendoline felt as though she ought to be more doubtful, more suspicious of the young Lord’s motives. And yet in her heart, she believed him. He’d seemed so sincere. Her heart gave a little flutter as she remembered how wide and earnest his eyes seemed when he spoke to her.
“Is that all you have to say on the matter?” Florence asked, raising a delicate eyebrow.
Gwendoline drew in a quiet breath. She knew precisely what her friend wanted to know. How had she received Lord Caspian’s apology, and what did she truly think of it?
“No, that isn’t all I have to say,” Gwendoline admitted, “But I’ll confess that Lord Caspian has vexed me. I had never anticipated an apology from him, and I…feel as though I don’t doubt him nearly as much as I should.”
Perhaps, it was because Lord Caspian was such
a handsome man. Gwendoline’s face burned, likely growing redder with each passing second.
“He did seem sincere in his apology.”
“He did.”
Not only sincere. But he’d also professed an interest in ending the feud between their families, and Gwendoline had never imagined that such a thing might occur. And Gwendoline, who’d always considered herself to be a logical, reasonable woman, couldn’t deny the anxiety that twisted in her belly. It felt profoundly like a betrayal of her mother and father and her entire lineage. She was meant to despise Lord Caspian, but she could not make herself do it after such a gracious, genuine plea to end the conflict between their families.
The Earl That Overruled My Destiny Page 4