****
Thursday, May 16, 2014
11.30am: I spent the morning hanging out with Fi. We slept in, then lay in bed a bit more and talked, then did things, then talked some more, then did some other, more risqué, things. I finally got up around 11am to make us some breakfast (cereal – today seemed worthy of opening another long life milk carton) and then we watched a couple episodes of Doomsday Preppers for the lolz. It was just the perfect lazy morning. As much as yesterday felt like a turning point for me, this whole week has been a bit of the same for her. She’s gotten her strength back over the last few days and is starting to be the Fi I used to know – assured, clever, funny.
I think it’s time I’m gonna take her with me down to the school today to meet the community.
4pm: The only negative to come out of today was my whole ‘keep a low profile’ plan is now officially shot. I’ve never had so much gratitude sent my way and I felt like I’d really made a difference. Between the adulation and introducing everyone to Fiona J, well, I’m pretty sure everyone now knows who I am. Was it worth it? Yes. Will I regret it when the going gets tough? Probably. But I’ll worry about that when it happens.
The news from the other group wasn’t bad either. They’d put together a reasonable bounty of food, but were quick to point out they’d covered a lot of ground for minimal reward and figured there would only be one more hunt of that magnitude possible before we would have to start exploring further afield for supplies.
Between the two groups we think we’ve gathered 5-7 day’s worth of food for the entire group.
Heading back to the city soon turned into a top priority and another group was heading out first thing in the morning, lead by Steve P and Kelly, now city veterans Instead of eight people, they’re getting about 30 going along. They asked me if I’d like to come but I think I’ll wait until the next trip, when we need to find a new place to explore. Besides, I was still coughing like a pack a day smoker after yesterday. It can’t be good breathing in all that dust and muck. Even through the dust mask I’m sure stuff is getting through, and who knows what sort of carcinogenic, asbestos-laden particles are lurking in the air. Not that I think about my long-term health prospects too much these days., I doubt I’ll live long enough for that to be an issue, but my lungs are still pleading with me to give them a rest, so I think I will.
Besides which, Fi and I were in the zone this morning and I want to enjoy as many moments like that as I can get.
Thoughts in the community are also turning to securing our premises and food supplies. Everyone is still on edge about recent events in Norwood, especially since there are other groups more equipped (weapons wise) than us. I’m definitely glad this is part of our future planning. We’re going to start having a night shift so there are at least two people around the camp at all times. There was some talk of getting everyone to move into the school but there weren’t many takers on the idea. The classrooms are ridiculously cold and it feels more like a prison than a home. I can see how it would be a good idea to have numbers there at all times but schools are such depressing places. I think I’d feel more like a prisoner than a resident if I lived there permanently.
11.30pm: I love the nights in with Fi. We try and make things as normal as possible. Something to eat while watching some downloaded TV shows and a movie. We just snuggle on the couch under a bunch of blankets. We don’t say much really, beyond commenting on something funny or sad happening on the TV. I think it’s because any other subject we bring up will have something to do with the rock or the havoc it’s created, or the people we miss, so if we don’t say anything we can exist those nights in pretend world, a place that isn’t touched by the destruction, like it doesn’t even exist. It’s just me and my girlfriend having a cosy night in. I like that.
****
Friday, May 17, 2014
10.30am: One of the advantages of having Fi meet the community is I now have someone to bounce my thoughts off about the other people there. She remembered quite a few of the people she met for the first time yesterday and it’s amazing how similarly she viewed them compared to me. It’s good to get another read on those things, and hearing someone else thinks similarly means I’m feeling a little more confident with how I go about things.
The only real difference of opinion was Mia. Fi did not like her one bit, whereas Mia is one of my favourites. I’m gonna put this one down to being a girl thing though. Women!
4.15pm: I just got back from an afternoon date with Fiona. As much as our time in the house is fun, I thought it’d be nice to do something different for a change. I spent an hour or so in the kitchen making a loaf of bread and heating up some of the canned spaghetti bolognaise (which I then poured into a thermos). I then gathered together some wine, chocolate, candles, blankets, serviettes, knives, forks, glasses and plates – everything I’d need for the perfect date. I coaxed her into her outside gear, blindfolded her and lead her up to the Greek restaurant on Magill Rd (I hope I didn’t offend the Greek gods by taking Italian food to their restaurant – but it was the closest option).
I thought I might have to break some glass to get in through the front door but the work was already done for me, despite the ‘no food on premises’ sign. I dusted down a seat for her then made her stay blindfolded while I prepared our meal. I put some music on my iPod, via the dock, to keep her company.
She kept abusing me for not telling her what I was doing (all in fun, of course) but I’m sure she had a fair idea. When everything was perfect I took off her blindfold and she stared at the table and the setting then cracked-up laughing.
‘Oh, you shouldn’t have’, she said to me, ‘this place is expensive.’
We both laughed before I told her I’d been saving hard for this moment.
I quickly ran outside and wiped the window clean so we could at least see out. Then I came back in, took my outside gear off and poured us both a wine.
‘To us’, I toasted.
We were there for a couple of hours eating, drinking… just enjoying the crazy surroundings. Fiona’s really started showing signs of her old self too, like she’s putting recent events behind her. She’s great company and I really got a taste of that today. She’s funny, intelligent, perceptive and has a determination I like. It’s a willpower of sorts, but she doesn’t use it to overbear me or get her own way. It’s like she wants to use it in parallel with me, work with me to make us stronger. I think she’s seen how I’ve set myself up, has complete confidence I’ve got what it takes to survive, and has pushed her chips all-in beside me. Trust – that’s what I get from her the most – and that’s a pretty rare commodity these days.
I had such a great afternoon. I’m so glad I decided to do something a bit different like this to break up the day-to-day in the house.
We ended up pretending the restaurant was full and we could eavesdrop on other conversations and talk about other diners behind their backs. Like the group of middle-aged ladies being unnecessarily gregarious, or the family with the two grumpy teenagers celebrating their younger sister’s birthday, or the older man and the younger woman having an affair. The maître d’ was an arrogant man too – he copped his share – as did the waitress who kept giving me the eye.
Occasionally we’d look at the passers-by on Magill Rd, like the lady collecting cans in one of those blue and white bags, or the slightly overweight, lycra-clad cyclist stopping for a coffee across the road, posing way too much and showing way too many body contours, or the thirty-something jogging by in that look at me kind of way.
We had a laugh at all our new imaginary friends – it was so much fun. Before we left we sneaked into the bathroom when no one was watching and did something the management definitely would not have approved of.
5pm: Everything seems to be coming together right now. I have a community I feel wants and needs me, I have someone great to share my time with, I have plenty of food supplies for now and there is potential for more to be discovered.
&nb
sp; I decided to tell Fi everything. I told her I found out about the rock early and stockpiled food, I showed her the cellar as there was no point in hiding it anymore. She’s shown me she’s trustworthy but, more importantly than that, I want to tell her. I wanted her to know she was safe here and totally trusted.
Now she knows everything about this place – all the systems, all the secret stashes, all the protocols to make life safe and to survive.
I did an updated stocktake this afternoon, now that everything’s out in the open. I think we have enough food to get us through until February, but that doesn’t take into account any of the bonus food that will come our way from the community. Given there will be more hidden gems in the city I can see home supplies lasting a lot longer. Very happy.
The water is still an issue as I have nowhere near enough. I’m going to dedicate some time soon to working out a suitable purification process. I remember learning something about in school once, there was a project we had to decide what were the most important items to keep if you were lost in the outback. One of them was a plastic sheet as you could dig a hole in the sand, cover it with the sheet, pin it down at the edges and then put a rock in the middle. As the morning dew condensated on the plastic it would flow into the centre of the sheet, then drip into a container you put underneath. Now my circumstances are slightly different but I think I could achieve something similar if I boiled some of the dirty ice in a large pot. I could collect the steam somehow – pure water. That’s the plan at least.
****
Saturday, May 17, 2014
8.15am: Feeling so motivated after the stocktake that I might top up on petrol for the generator after we get back from the community. If I can teach Fi how to do that she’ll officially know everything to survive. She’s keen to learn, too. I’ve got massive respect for how she goes about things, she doesn’t use me for a free ride. Instead, she wants to show me she can by useful every step of the way.
I guess, from her point of view, she’s in a far more vulnerable position than me. I mean, she needs me more than I need her to survive. But the truth is I need her too, in different ways, but just as much.
6pm: Oh my God. God no. Please, please no. It’s happened again. This place has delivered me to hell, it’s shown how evil it can be, how evil people can be. Again I am left to pick up the pieces, for me and others.
As soon as we neared the school I knew something was horribly, horribly wrong. I could hear someone crying. The sort of bellow that tells of inner pain and curdles your blood with its pitch. When we got close enough to the gym to see what was going on there were three people huddled together, in tears. None of them I knew by name. One of the two middle-aged ladies saw us approach and ran over to tell us not to go in. She blurted out a bunch of words but the only ones I can remember were ‘they killed them all’.
I knew what was inside that door was going to tear me apart but I didn’t realise the extent of it all. It was a massacre. From the moment I stepped through the door I saw nothing but bodies, blood and bullet casings. Most of the bodies either lay around where the map used to be or where the food stocks used to be – both now gone. They’d just been herded into the corners and mown down.
There is no doubt it was the work of the Norwood hubbers. I hate them. A real hate that makes me want to dedicate my life to seeking revenge. How could they? We were already on the back foot. We had few weapons, no direct food supply, no decent headquarters – we weren’t a threat. We were destined to die before them.
A wave of guilt hit me as I remembered back to my city raid, feeling a presence as we walked down Magill Rd. They were watching us then and they probably watched us return. Maybe the city raid idea put us back on their radar. When the next crew went out they must’ve been ready. The spies passed the message back and they gathered in numbers to await the city raiders’ return. They managed to get us when we had the greatest numbers to kill and the most food to take. It makes me sick they’d think like that. They killed people. For food. They didn’t just kill them, they planned it for the perfect moment. It’s psychotic.
Oh God, I put a chain of events in motion that lead to all this. It’s my fault.
I said it out aloud. ‘It’s my fault’. But Fi tried to snap me out of it by protesting between her tears. We just embraced in the middle of it all. I can’t remember how long we were there, but I just closed my eyes and braced for the job ahead. We needed to bury these people.
The other three no-names didn’t look like they wanted to go anywhere near the gym again. There were two shovels in our supplies. I went out and handed them over, asking them to head to the oval and start digging holes, one for each person. They wailed at the idea but I told them we had to.
Fi and I went back inside and started the grim task of dragging them out one by one. Between the five of us we would identify each victim, before putting them in a grave. I would go back inside, mark their name on our records as deceased and move on to the next body. By number three I was numb to it all – the carnage, the disgusting smell, the heavy lifting, the way the faces contorted to make people I knew almost unrecognizable. It just became a job. Something that had to be done.
Just before lunch another few groups who rocked up. Each time we’d have to relive the whole scene through fresh eyes. I’d become aware again, I’d hurt again, then I’d get back to business.
The numbers made my task a lot easier.
I saw Mia’s body, Mark and Jemma’s, Steve K, Steve P, Kelly, John, Malcolm – everybody I had a reasonable connection with was gone. By about 2pm we had 83 graves lined up and 20 people to say a prayer for them.
The ones left weren’t central players in the community – they were fringe people. They were the people who enjoyed the rewards without putting in the work. They were old or young or strange or injured or just plain odd. Some started asking me what we were going to do now. Like I was in charge.
I had too much running through my head to start leading a herd. I suggested they either bunker down in their houses or go to the Firle hub. I couldn’t take responsibility for them and I believed they were the best options available. Rebuilding was futile – the Norwood hubbers would be back. The others could offer nothing to help Fiona or me – any alliance will weaken us. At that moment, I didn’t really care what happened to them. The community was gone. I wanted to go home to the way it was before the rock hit. I just wanted it all to go away.
Sitting back home now I’m still in a million places – angry, sad, lost, confused. I’m fearful of what the future holds and I feel vulnerable in this place. The Norwood hubbers will be back, how long until they start going house to house. Where do we go then?
I don’t know what my next move is.
Today changed the game. It totally screwed everything. How can I stay here without the community around? Fi and I are sitting ducks, but we can’t move, we have no way to transport the food stocks.
I need to come up with a strategy and fast.
First things first, I’m gonna seal the front door. There’s no one I want coming into this house apart from Fi and I. I’m going to the shed to find three of the heftiest chunks of wood I can and some heavy duty nails, then make sure that door never opens again.
Next I need to figure out how to deter people from heading down the side of the house. I’m not sure what to do here and I’ll need my own access at times too.
Then I think it’s best if Fi and I just hold tight inside for at least a week and not make any rash decisions. Maybe the Norwood crew will come back and start sweeping house to house for food. In fact, no maybes about it, they will. I think it’ll be sooner rather than later, based on everything I’ve seen so far.
After a week we’ll see what happens. We might need to do it all again and again. Who knows? I’ve got time.
I’ll be getting bug-out bags ready to go next. Mine is collecting dust in the corner but I need to revisit what’s in it based on the new circumstances. At the very least I’ll definitely need to
add some weapons. I also need to get one ready for Fiona. We’ll need a bug-out plan too – where to meet if we get separated, where will we go, do I set up some food in a second location (I think it’s a good idea), but where? So many things to organise to stay ahead of the game.
Beyond holding the fort and bug-out plans, I really need to start thinking about our next move. The big move. The inevitable move – the move away from home move. It has to happen. Whether it’s tomorrow, a month from now or when the food’s running low early next year, we need to find another food source. Ideally it’s a new home, a permanent home, with food resources and safety, with a small, welcoming community.
Not likely, I know. But a guy’s gotta dream. I’d settle for the food supply right now.
The city has shown it can provide, for a period of time, but there’s no way I can go back there now. The Norwood hubbers attacked us when they did because they followed our people back, that means they know what the city can offer. They’ll be all over it like a rash. As much as I’m tempted, that place is now out of bounds.
In fact, I’m struggling to think of any place in Adelaide that will offer what I’m looking for. Even if there is some magical food supply lurking somewhere, chances are there’s a trigger-happy horde holding on to it for dear life. I’m not totally upset with the idea of leaving Adelaide. Recent event make me feel it’s the best thing.
10pm: I’ve just spent a couple of hours in the war room, looking at maps and trying to find a next move. It’s more difficult than I thought. For a start, I’m not just deciding for me, the decision will affect Fiona too. And it’s not like I can just drive somewhere for laughs and move on if I don’t like it. On foot, a wrong decision could cost weeks, which will eat resources and cost lives.
Diary of a Survivor (Book 1): Apocalypse Page 17