To me, I think and I register the ugliness of such a thought. “I never said that.”
“Is her life worth more than mine?” Nikki asks, softly, her fingertips brush my hand on Jesse’s coverlet.
I open my mouth, shocked by the question. “What?”
“If I volunteer to lead a team into Caldwell’s headquarters and I’m killed trying to rescue her dog, would you think that was worth it? Or if I died trying to save Jesse, would that make you happy?”
“No, of course not.”
Nikki gives me a sad, sweet smile and kisses me on the cheek. The hint of irritation in her tone melts away, replaced with her usual kind patience. “I’m going to go take a shower before my shift in the control room starts. You’re welcome to join me.”
She manages a devilish grin and gives my hand another squeeze before leaving the room.
I exhale, but it doesn’t loosen the tightness in my chest. The room suddenly feels too warm. My cheeks are ablaze. I tug at my collar and slip off my coat. The pungent smell of antiseptics makes my head swim.
Jesse sleeps in the white hospital bed, but not peacefully. Sweat beads around her hairline and her face scrunches then relaxes in turn. What wouldn’t I give to chase all her demons away?
I want to stay here with her until she wakes, but I know if I don’t join Nikki, she’ll take it as a personal affront.
I watch Jesse for a long moment, weighing my desire to stay with the consequence of not going. Nikki was so quick to defend Jesse on my behalf. I want Nikki to know she matters too.
If I died trying to save Jesse, would that make you happy?
I give Jesse’s hand a squeeze. “I’ll be back before you wake.”
Chapter 6
Jesse
The city is in ruins. Cement and mortar lay in heaps across a great road, tumbled over like a child’s building blocks. Ash falls from the sky, landing on my hoodie and shoes. I look down to see the toe of my red sneaker smudged gray. I lift my hand and ash lands on the backs of my fingers like snowflakes, precariously balanced on the folds of my knuckles.
Gabriel comes to a stop beside me, a stark figure in the white haze. “It’s fallout.”
“Where are we?” My voice reverberates against the wreckage.
“Your world. Is this the one you choose?”
“What? No.” I whirl around to face him. His eyes are the same demonic green, bright and iridescent as always. His dark suit jacket remains unmarred by the falling ash. “Who the hell would choose this?”
His eyes deepen from green to midnight blue. His tie changes to match. “If you do not choose, this is the choice.”
“What the hell does that mean?”
Light falls against my face as his wings open, and a brilliant red desert stretches out in all directions. The ruined city with its fallout rain has disappeared. Now there’s only this desert and a great expanse of blue sky.
Poised in the sand in front of me is a globe, a perfect replica of Earth balanced on a thin wire that runs into the sand.
I look from the desert landscape, to the globe, to Gabriel’s porcelain face. “What the hell is this all about?”
Gabriel walks around the globe and stands opposite me. Then he takes one slender finger and spins the globe. “Your world is protected by a magnetic field, not unlike the field that protects you.”
A thin layer of purple light begins to glow around the globe, encasing it as it spins and spins.
“But this shield will weaken and fail.” Gabriel jabs his finger against the globe and the Earth stops spinning. The purple light disappears. “When that happens, Earth will be destroyed by the first threat that comes along.”
His green eyes meet mine, searching my face for comprehension. I don’t understand and I’m pretty sure my slack jaw and arched eyebrows say as much.
Gabriel stoops down and grabs a handful of sand, clenching it in his fist. Once he stands, he positions his fist over the globe, opening his hand slightly to let the grains slip between his fingers in a thin, steady stream.
As the sand hits the painted blue surface, a weird thing happens. The globe begins to disintegrate. Whatever the grains of sand touch becomes sand itself, until the entire globe has fallen apart. The only sign it was ever there at all is the heap between our feet, with the thin rod still protruding from its center.
“Well, shit.” I bend down and touch the heap. The warm granules slide under my fingertips. “This can’t be good.”
“No,” Gabriel agrees, kneeling down so we are eye-level.
“So how do we save Earth?” I search his face for answers.
Gabriel extends his wings. “That is what you must decide.”
Chapter 7
Ally
“What do you mean you’re keeping her sedated? It’s been nearly twelve hours.”
The sedative would’ve been out of her system a mere hour after she was drugged. The sweat collecting on her brow, which I sponge off every so often with a damp cloth, is proof that her body is working hard to throw off the drugs.
“Jeremiah’s orders.” The nurse shrugs and moves to the next bed, to a young man with a broken arm.
“Why would he want to keep her sedated?” As soon as the question leaves my mouth I feel stupid. I know exactly why. A calm incapacitated Jesse is better than a living breathing one who would no doubt make high demands to save her pug.
I pull my phone from my pocket and consider texting Jeremiah. He won’t answer. I consider texting Nikki next, but I can’t ask her to side with me against him. She’s been loyal to Jeremiah and his cause long before I came along. With a sigh, I slip my phone back into my pocket unused.
What can I do for Jesse right now? Nothing. Not without help.
I imagine Nikki in bed, her arms around me and her soft lips on my face. She cares about me and I like her back but there’s this wide chasm between us. I don’t know how to cross that gulf. Not as long as Caldwell is alive and the danger is real. The same work that brought us together, keeps us apart.
I can’t think about that now. Yes, I could use her help, but I don’t need it. I just need a plan. A plan for getting Jesse out of here before she wakes up, furious. And a plan that will keep her from doing anything rash—like waging a solo mission against Caldwell. I suppose one good benefit of her sedation will be the few moments I’ll have to conjure such a plan.
The automatic door swishes open, and I prepare myself for Jeremiah or Nikki. Gloria limps into the room wearing a cast over her broken fibula.
“Gloria?” My heart hammers at the sight of her. Gloria doesn’t live in Jeremiah’s tower, having refused his offer for personal living quarters. She came here for a reason.
She stops just short of the bed. “They’re keeping her sedated.”
“The nurse just told me. What’s going on?”
“We have to get her out of here.” She plops her sketchbook on top of Jesse’s legs. Jesse doesn’t stir.
“This building is the safest place for her. Jeremiah is a bit of a control freak, but I believe his intentions are good. He wants to protect his people, that’s all. He doesn’t know Jesse like we do.”
“It’s more than that,” Gloria flips a page and points at a detailed pencil sketch.
Jesse is standing in the aftermath of an apocalypse. A city has collapsed around her and the sky is gray with fallout. It takes me a minute to recognize the Chicago skyline despite all the rubble. But in the distance, the Sears tower stands untouched and half of Wrigley Field. Where Tate Tower should stand, shows only a stretch of vacant sky.
“We need to get away from this building.” Gloria reaches up and yanks The Needle out of Jesse’s arms.
“Hey!” I blot at the blood on Jesse’s arm with the white sheet stretched over her. “Be gentle. You don’t know that the building will be bombed right this second. When is that supposed to happen?”
She frowns. “We’ll stay with her until she wakes up, and then we have to go.”
“It
could take an hour. The nurses will come back to sedate her, and then what will we do?”
“We’ll guard the entrance, lock down the room.”
An alarm sounds and Gloria rushes forward to smash the close button. It doesn’t work. The sirens continue to wail throughout the building. Gloria gives up on the close button and tries to manually pull the door closed, but it won’t budge.
“So much for locking down the room.”
Footsteps pound against the linoleum, echoing someone’s approach.
Gloria peeks her head into the hallway and swears.
“Tell Jesse what’s going on. Tell her she has to wake up.”
“She’s unconscious.”
“Maybe she can hear you.” Gloria knocks back the first wave of respondents, two nurses who squeal. “No. You can’t come in here. Stop trying or I’ll be forced to hurt you.”
As she talks down the nurses, I put my lips against Jesse’s ear. I feel more than a little silly until I remember something about coma patients hearing the voices of loved ones.
“Jesse?”
Nothing. Maybe she can’t hear over the sound of wailing sirens.
I speak louder. “Jesse, can you hear me? Wake up. It’s an emergency. Wake up!”
Chapter 8
Jesse
“This is weird.”
Gabriel and I are standing in one of Jeremiah’s medical rooms. The big, open wall lined with beds is too bright and too warm. Ally is by my bedside, yelling into my ear, and Gloria is in the doorway, refusing to let a herd of doctors and nurses into the room. Every time they get too close she kicks at the herd with her gigantic cast. One nurse cries out when the plaster connects with her shin.
“What’s all that racket?” I want to cover my ears. I can’t. My body is stretched out in the hospital bed with Ally standing guard over it.
“Alice believes you are in danger.” Gabriel’s wings hunch, reminding me of an angry cat with an arched back. His fiendish green eyes survey the situation. “Alice is usually right.”
I snort. “She’d love to hear you say that.”
The commotion in the room doubles, and I turn toward the clotted doorway. Jeremiah stands toe-to-toe with Gloria who refuses to let him pass. Jeremiah’s red in the face but his voice is steady.
“Captain Jackson.” He even manages a hint of deference. “Please let us into the room.”
“No.”
He pushes his glasses up the bridge of his nose. “Jesse is in danger of hurting herself and innocent people.”
An idea hits me. “My shield.”
“Cast it yourself.” Gabriel opens his wings.
I groan. “How?”
“You can command it, Jesse. Picture it. Call it forth.”
I try to imagine what I would look like, laying there with a shield shining all around me. A tickle washes over my body and the shield appears, enveloping me.
I smile. “That was pretty easy.”
“Oh thank god.” Ally murmurs. Her shoulders slump and all the air whooshes out from between her lips. “Keep your shield up, baby.”
I smile. “She called me baby. Did you hear that?”
Gabriel blinks at me.
Gloria steps aside and lets the flood of people enter the room. But now, none of them seem to know what to do with themselves. They stand in a disjointed huddle, glancing from my immobile form to Jeremiah as if waiting for instruction.
No one moves.
“What now?” I ask.
Gabriel turns those green eyes on me. “You are aware.”
“I know I’m aware.” I gesture at the room. “Hel-lo?”
He blinks at me.
“Look. We talked about this. I accept that you’re either a real angel or that my head is totally busted from dying and you’re an illusion. But either way, I’m going to need you to have good communication skills. We’ll never get through this if you keep talking like a wookiee.”
His eyes search my face and then he wets his lips. “You are waking up.”
“Good job.” I squeeze his biceps in my hands. “I understood you perfectly.”
A hint of amusement crosses his face, the corner of his lips turning up.
“It’s like a foreign language. You can’t give me cryptic messages and blank faces. I don’t know how to interpret that.”
Gabriel grabs my hand, his fingers brushing mine.
“Uh, what are you doing?”
He tugs me closer. “I am using body language. I want to convey I am here with you.”
I push him off of me. “Okay. Too much body language. And I know you’re here with me. Just look at yourself.”
He looks down as his waist.
“I didn’t mean literally. Ugh, never mind.”
“What will you do when you wake up?” he asks.
Jeremiah grabs hold of Ally, wrenching her away from my body.
“Transfer my shield to Ally.”
“That is what they want,” Gabriel warns.
I see what he means. The nurses stand poised ready to prick me with a needle. They’re counting on me dropping my shield to cover Ally.
“Damnit,” I swear. “What about the firebomb?”
He blinks at me with big eyes. “Alice.”
“Let’s fake them out. Make a show of it.”
“A show of it?” He repeats each word carefully as if they’re made of fine china.
“Yes.” I encourage him by throwing in jazz hands. “A little razzle dazzle.”
His brow furrows.
“Okay, we need to work on your slang. Just make him think we are going to blow up the room. Got it?”
On cue, my body begins to thrum and shimmer with its pre-blast heat. The doctors and nurses all move back.
Gloria smiles. “You’re pissing her off.”
Jeremiah hesitates but his hold on Ally tightens.
“More razzle,” I tell him.
The bed sheets catch fire, and the medical team flees. Sensing the fire, the sprinkler system springs to life. Cold water falls on my face and hands and I can feel it, not on my invisible body, but on the one lying in bed. Fat drops hit the back of my eyelids and it smells like the hosepipe I used to drink from as a kid.
“How can I feel the water?”
I don’t need him to answer. When the nurse’s took off with the drugs and needles, my subconscious saw fit to shield Ally instead of me. Gloria tucks her sketchpad under her shirt, pulling her flannel shirt over the pages to keep them dry.
The impromptu shower seems to help Jeremiah gain control of himself.
“You don’t understand.” He wipes at his glasses with his damp shirt. “This is what Caldwell wants. He wants to get you away from the safety of Tate Tower. He wants you to doubt us. If you go out there, Jason will find you. Caldwell will get exactly what he wants. I only want to help you.”
“Keeping me drugged up is a great way to show it.”
“Keeping her drugged up isn’t the best way to show it,” Ally echoes.
“Thank you.” I point a gracious gesture at her, but she can’t see me. I turn to Gabriel. “How long is it going to go on like this?”
“You’ll wake soon,” he says.
“Then we’re going to get Winston.”
“Listen to me, Jesse,” Jeremiah says. He’s speaking to my sleeping body with as much tenderness as you would afford a dying grandmother. “I’m sorry I sedated you. But I need to protect my people. You understand that, don’t you? Do not take my action as anything but well-intentioned. I want to keep you safe. I want to keep Alice safe, and Captain Jackson and my people. Don’t fault me for that.”
Gloria snorts. I don’t think I’ve ever heard her do that. I’m sure she’s super insulted by the idea that some dude thinks he’s supposed to protect her.
Jeremiah gives her a cold look. “Fine. Leave. All of you. We won’t stop you. But I am trying to keep her safe, Alice. Tell her that.”
Thoroughly soaked, Jeremiah walks to the doorway defeated.
Both Gloria and Ally visibly relax. Shoulders slump and everyone starts breathing again.
Ally rakes wet strands away from her own face and sighs. “Well, that could’ve gone better.”
Gloria wipes the water off her face, revealing a tentative smile. “It could’ve also gone much, much worse.”
Chapter 9
Jesse
My eyes flutter open to the sight of Ally wet and miserable. Her brows are pinched, water dripping off the end of her nose. It’s still raining down on us from the sprinkler overhead.
“Hey, Jess. How do you feel?”
“Like I just had the most bizarre out of body experience.” I adopt a Dorothy Gale Kansas drawl. “And you were there. And you were there.”
Gloria gathers up her sketchbook and adjusts her wet clothes, pulling them away from her body where they clung to her skin. “We need to get out of here.”
I try to sit up and my limbs are shaky. It’s the same kind of feeling I get if I’ve had too much caffeine and not enough food. Jittery and a little sick. It must be the drugs, the power, stress or some combination. Ally reaches her hands under my arms and lifts me.
“I’m not sure Jesse’s ready to make a break for it.”
“You want to stay here with your girlfriend.” I scratch my shoulder. A small bump presses against my fingertip like a bee sting. Where the hell did I get that? “Fine. Stay here with her and some dude that has no qualms about manhandling you just to get a rise out of me.”
Her nostrils flare. “I know you’re scared for Winston, but don’t be mean to me.”
I take a breath. “I’m sorry.” It isn’t my best apology. Certainly not Oscar worthy, but sometimes it’s really hard work to get those two little words out of my mouth.
“You’re forgiven. But I’m right. I know you want to go get Winston, but you can barely walk. You’re of no use to anyone like this. Let’s go with Gloria back to her place and regroup. We’ll come up with a plan on how to save Winston there.”
“We can’t stay at my place long,” Gloria says and yanks the covers off my legs. “Jason is due to make an appearance.”
Dying Light Page 4