Without breaking their kiss, he shifted to brace her against the wall. He pinned her with his hips, so his hands were now free for other things. Like removing his shirt. Then removing her shirt. Then her bra. Then, for caressing her gorgeous breasts.
And, God, did Lacy Dawson have nice tits. Firm and round. Not too big, but large enough to fill his palms. Perfect strawberry-tipped nipples stood at attention under his stare. A sprinkling of light freckles dusted her skin, giving her bosom a charming character. Yeah, they were damn nice breasts. He could write a song about them. Maybe two.
Lacy pushed his head down to her chest, knocking him free from his stupor. Yes, she was right. Her breasts deserved more than his eyes. He took her tip into his mouth, alternately sucking and tugging at her nipple until it was fat and swollen. After, he repeated his ardor on the other side until Lacy was writhing and moaning.
Then, he was so aroused that he was aching. And she still had shorts on. They suddenly seemed like such an enormous barrier. If it weren’t impossible, he’d rip them off of her with his bare hands. The longer they stayed on her, the more he began to think maybe it wasn’t so impossible. Surely, where there was a will there was a way.
Fortunately, Lacy recognized the obstacle as well, and took care of it in a more sensible way. She let her feet slide to the floor and pulled her shorts and panties down in one swift movement. Then she began fumbling with his pants, undoing his belt and then his fly. As she nipped along his shoulder blade, she slid her hand inside his boxer-briefs and stroked his cock. Her palm slid across his crown, nearly buckling his knees.
Fuck.
He couldn’t wait any longer. She was ready for him too. The sweet scent of her wafted up to his nose, filling him with an urgency that bordered on craziness. He pulled a condom out of his back pocket—okay, he’d started the day hopeful—and pushed his boxers down just far enough to release his cock. Exercising his inner caveman, he ripped it open with his teeth, and threw the packet on the floor.
Lacy seemed just as impatient. She’d already hooked her knee around him and was already climbing back up as he slid the condom down his length. He laughed. “Hold on, hold on. Almost there.”
Then he was sheathed. He put his hands under her tight ass and lifted her up against the wall until she was at the right height. Though it killed him, he paused at her entrance. This was fast, frantic. Though he wasn’t against mindless sex, it somehow felt wrong with Lacy. She deserved more. Some sort of connection.
Her eyes closed, she wiggled, trying to get his cock where she wanted it most. He was tempted to slide in.
It took all of his strength to resist, but he did. “Lacy? Lacy, look at me.”
She moved her head higher to kiss along his jaw now. Her breathing was wild and erratic, like an untamed horse. Or a bird about to be caged. A wild songbird. Her eyes, though, she kept shut tight, as though she knew she were going to be reined in and she didn’t want to acknowledge her captor.
“Lacy!”
His sharp tone reached through to her. She stilled, her lids popping open. Her eyes found his, and there it was. The connection. He needed this. She, he suspected, needed it too.
With their gaze locked, he pressed into her wet core. Ah, she was tight and warm. Her heat radiated in him—through him—until it was everywhere. Until his whole body was on fire. So hot, like he’d melt into her. It was amazing. Electrifying. Perfect.
Lacy ground her hips against him, urging him to move as she reached her hand down to rub her clit. Now that was even hotter. Her finger flicking across her most sensitive spot—part symbol of her independence, part statement of willingness to contribute toward the outcome they were both seeking. Yeah, totally sexy.
But then he pushed in deeper, and her lids flickered. “Don’t do that,” he scolded. “Keep your eyes on me.” He wasn’t going to let her disappear from this moment. Whether they meant anything to each other outside of this or not, they would at least be together now.
She obeyed his command, and, hell, if that didn’t turn him on more. He pulled out and thrust in again. And again, quickly returning to the frenzy they’d had just minutes before. All the while his eyes never left hers, their connection never broken.
Eli gripped his fingers into her hips and tilted her legs up further around him. Holy mother … this angle was amazing. The friction was … oh, God. He hit against her in so many places, he couldn’t even tell where he ended and she began anymore. Lacy was feeling it too. Her moans came faster and breathier. Her face contorted and scrunched up with the pleasure. Her lids struggled to remain open. But she managed. Until suddenly she cried out, her entire body tensing as her legs shook around him.
Sexy. As. Hell.
Eli pumped through her contractions around his cock. Once, twice, three times, and, then he was seized by his own release. It ripped through him like a shooting star, lightning his nerves as it surged up and out, leaving spots of light in his vision. Incredible.
Lacy fell limp against his chest, and somehow that was incredible too. Barely able to stand any longer himself, he hobbled with her to the couch, his pants at his ankles preventing him from walking normally. Then he sat with her still wrapped around him. His hands stroked leisurely up and down the bare skin of her back. He felt good with her here like this. Maybe they could have something more together, something like a relationship. That would be nice. Very nice.
Except, he’d have to end things with Love. That idea made his heart sink. Almost as much as breaking things off with Lacy.
Problem was, he was spun up in both of them—Lacy and LoveCoda. Two women feeding different parts of his soul—one physical, one emotional. He’d have to choose between them. Somehow. Eventually.
There was probably a song waiting to be written in that too.
* * *
Lacy kept her eyes closed tight and let the post-sex haze take her away. Were there words here? She searched for inspiration as her breathing regulated and her body grew lax, throwing her into a meditative state. A phrase flitted through her mind that she tried to catch to no avail. There was something in her way. Something preventing her from capturing her song. What was it?
Eli.
It was Eli.
Her head lay against his chest and she could hear his heartbeat settling underneath her. An erratic rhythm easing into sweet and steady. Then there were his breaths coming in and out at regular intervals. He was fascinating—music in his own right. And while there could be a lyric wandering around in her head, it didn’t seem nearly as captivating as this. As just being in the moment. Being in the arms of someone who seemed to care about being in the moment with her. So she ignored the words and held onto the man.
“Well, that was unexpected.” Eli’s ragged voice cut into her reverie.
“Hmm?” Her voice hummed against his body, reverberating back into her.
Eli swept her hair aside and kissed her forehead. “Not unwelcome. Just unexpected.”
She pushed up to a sitting position and stretched, her breasts popping forward as she did.
Eli lifted up to lick at one of her still-erect nipples. “Now you’re taunting me. I should have spent more time on these.” He sucked her peak into his mouth, his thumb flicking across its twin.
“Stop,” she said without much conviction.
He pulled back to meet her eyes, kneading her breasts with his hands. “Do you really want me to?”
“No. But it’s getting late. And we have a show to get ready for.” She stood and crossed to the closet to grab her robe. Not that she minded being naked in front of Eli, but she seemed to be distracting the man. Sure enough, his eyes were pinned to her body until she wrapped it up.
With his distraction out of the way, Eli’s attention turned to himself. He rose to his feet and pulled up his jeans. “My performance is going to be on fire tonight, Songbird. After that. Thank you for the inspiration.”
At the word “inspiration,” Lacy’s thoughts returned to the lyrics that her orgas
m was supposed to have elicited. It was the reason she’d jumped him after all. The words were there, she felt it, waiting for her to conquer them with her pen. She glanced at the alarm clock on the nightstand and calculated her time. If she sped through her cleanup, she should have time to jot some things down before her set.
As long as Eli left, that was.
And she wasn’t entirely sure she wanted Eli to leave. She had a ridiculous urge to tell him to push his pants back down and join her in the shower. Now he was reaching for his shirt. She’d better say something soon.
But the words …
She was torn.
Eli caught her watching him and paused, his arms poised to put on his tee. “You keep biting your lip and looking at me like that, I might have to make you late for your show.”
“Make me late? I don’t think that’s necessary.” The scenario she had in mind wouldn’t take long—just her on her knees and hot water falling on her back. Oh, and her mouth. But she could be awfully quick with her mouth.
Eli dropped his shirt to the floor. In two steps he had her in his arms. His lips pressed against hers, his tongue teasing inside to slide along hers. “You sure are full of surprises, Lacy Dawson.”
Lacy tugged at his fly, noting that his cock was already thickening again under the zipper. That was the second time he’d made such a statement. Had she been too forward?
As if reading her mind, Eli expounded. “Today you seemed to only have eyes for Jax.” He swept her hair off her shoulder and nibbled on her ear.
“Oh. Jax.” Folx.
Well, shit. Wasn’t that a mood killer?
Lacy pulled out of Eli’s arms and busied herself with gathering her clothes into a pile. What could she say about Jax? He’d been there online for her when no one else had been. Sure, he didn’t realize it, but he deserved a chance with her for what he’d been to her.
Yet here she was selfishly jumping Eli for her own artistic gain. And also because she couldn’t stop thinking about him. She had to at least be honest. “Well. I like Jax, too.”
“You like Jax, too.” Eli repeated her words. Slowly.
She forced herself to stop straightening and face the man who’d only moments before been inside her. “Yeah. I like him too.”
Eli’s jaw tightened. He crossed his arms over his chest. “What does that mean exactly?”
Lacy pried her eyes from how yummy Eli’s biceps looked in that position. What had she been saying?
Jax. She’d been talking about Jax. “It means I want to spend time with him. Want to get to know him.”
“And…?”
Wasn’t that the million-dollar question. If Jax let himself be Folx, if he let himself be the man he was online, then, yeah, Lacy would be interested in that “and.” “And maybe more. I don’t know yet.”
She found her panties on the lampshade and threw them on her dirty clothes pile. Seriously, that Eli had quite an arm.
An arm that now pounded a fist against the wall behind him, startling her enough to make her jump. “What the fuck, Lacy?”
Admittedly, it sounded a little bit … well, bad. It sounded bad. Still. She hadn’t made anyone any promises. “I don’t understand the big deal here, Eli. We aren’t a thing. We slept together a couple times. And it’s been good. But we’re not exclusive or anything.”
“No. But…”
“But what? It’s not like I’m sleeping with him.”
“You’re not ruling it out, though.”
Lacy took a deep breath. Then she blew it out. “No. I’m not.”
She brushed past him to the bathroom vanity to search for a hair tie. She didn’t have time to wash her hair so it needed to be pinned up in the shower. Or at least it was something to keep her from having to look at the hurt in Eli’s eyes.
“Ah. I get it.” Eli moved behind her to lean in the bathroom doorway, angling himself over her shoulder so that he could see her in the mirror. “I’m just a placeholder then, am I? On your way up the band ladder. If you can get the lead singer, then who needs the other guy. He’s only backup, after all.”
She spun toward him. “No! That’s not it at all. Is that really what you think of me?” Even as she uttered the words, she realized she didn’t have much to back them up with. She’d acted exactly like that on their outing, choosing Jax’s attention over Eli’s.
He shrugged. “Should I be thinking something else? You’re not giving me a lot to go on.”
“This has nothing to do with your place in the band. It’s just…” She closed her eyes and scratched at her brow. How had she planned to finish that statement? It’s just that Jax and I are practically in love online. But he doesn’t know it.
Um, yeah. That wouldn’t cut it.
She opened her eyes again. “Look, Jax and I have something else. I can’t explain it. And if I have a chance to see it through, then I have to.” There. That was the best she could do. Eli would have to accept it or not.
“As I said, I’m a placeholder. I’m the groupie clause.” His voice all but trembled.
Shit. “No. I’m…” Her fingers curled around the tie of her robe as she searched for the thing to say to make it right. “Look, I’m trying to be honest here. I like you. I like this.” She gestured between the two of them. “I’m happy with our situation.” Though if things changed between her and Jax … “I’m happy right now, anyway. Today. Can’t we just take it like that? One day at a time? Let whatever happens happen?”
“Sure thing, Lacy. Let’s do that.” Eli’s voice was thick with sarcasm and resentment. “How about you let this happen—I’m leaving.”
Panic coursed through her like ice in her veins. “Eli, wait!”
He turned back, his expression impatient but obviously willing to hear her out.
Except, she didn’t have anything else to say. Nothing to make it better. The truth was, he really wasn’t more than a placeholder. Their first night together had come about organically and unplanned. And she’d enjoyed it more than she’d thought possible. But was one night of good sex enough to make it worth throwing away a whole seven plus months with someone else?
No. It wasn’t. She was holding out for Jax, and her tryst with Eli today had only been an experiment in stimulating her creative juices.
God, who was this person she had become?
Eli was still waiting for her to speak. Lacy met his eyes and said the only words she could. “I’m sorry.”
If the hotel didn’t have those mechanisms on the doors to make them close slowly, she was certain hers would have slammed behind Eli as he left.
Numb, she stripped and climbed in the shower. Any words that had been floating inside had left with Eli. She leaned her head against the tile and let the water pour down on her. Even though it was steaming hot, she still felt cold.
Chapter Fifteen
Lacy paced the green room waiting for the Blue Hills to finish their last song and meet back there as always. It had been only twenty-four hours since she’d been there last, and so much had happened. Her night with Eli, her day in Baltimore. Her afternoon with Eli that ended in her saying all the wrong things.
Or all the true things, anyway. Funny how true things often felt like wrong things when said out loud.
The memory of how she and Eli had left things made her stomach tighten and twist—and not in that fabulously delicious way he’d made it twist the night before. He probably hated her. And he should. She’d used him. Worse, was what she’d done to Folx. Her heart belonged to him, which in turn meant it belonged to Jax, and she’d been caught up in a silly physical connection that somehow seemed to spark her creative inspiration.
She felt terrible. Truly, truly terrible. She had to find a way to apologize to Eli. Then she needed to cut things off with him for good and focus on Jax. If she could just get him alone long enough to have a meaningful conversation, she was sure their online sizzle would translate to real life. At least, she hoped it would.
First, though … Eli. She
had to deal with this if she was going to sleep tonight.
The door burst open, and Lacy spun around to face the band. Wes led the way, followed by James and Other Guy, the guitar players. Then Jax arrived. The door closed behind him.
She waited for a few seconds for Eli to show, but the door stayed shut. “Uh, where’s Eli?”
“He went straight to the hotel,” James said standing in front of the portable fan in the corner of the room. “Goddamn, that feels good. It was hot out there tonight. Did the AC break or something?”
“We were just on fire,” Jax said. “The audience loved me.”
“What they loved was Eli.” Wes dropped onto the couch, a cold beer bottle pressed against his face. “He nailed every single riff. Killed it.”
Lacy bit her lip remembering how Eli said she’d inspired him for the show. She didn’t know if she should feel guilty or flattered. Maybe she should stop by his room …
“He might have played great, but his mood sucked ass.” Jax wiped the sweat from his brow with a towel. “He seriously needs an attitude check. Thank God he went to bed instead of grumping on all of us for the next half hour.”
Maybe she wouldn’t stop by then.
“Hey, Lacypants, would you mind dropping this in the basket over there?” Jax threw Lacy his towel, not waiting for a response.
She caught it easily, trying not to cringe at the source of its dampness. “Sure thing.” It’s a step in the right direction, Lacy told herself. Sharing sweat was intimate. Right? Although she could do without the patronizing nickname now. What seemed cute on the streets today was a lot less cute when she was playing den mother.
He winked as he grabbed himself a beer from the cooler. “Thanks, baby.”
Now he’d called her baby. That was definitely an improvement, a good sign.
And if Eli was gone for the night, then perhaps she should skip her amends and work on Jax. “Hey, so … Jax…” Why was it so much easier to talk to him online than in person? After the day they’d spent together, this shouldn’t be so awkward.
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