Love Struck

by Laurelin McGee

  Lacy stifled a giggle that was just as much a release of the nervous energy she’d kept bottled the last twenty minutes with the guys as it was from the game they were playing on Sammy.

  “Did you guys sneak out already?” Sammy called. “Dawson? Babyface?”

  Lacy’s eyes widened as the urge to laugh grew more insistent. “Babyface?” she mouthed.

  “She’s not talking about me,” Eli whispered, pointing to Jax.

  Of course it was Jax Sammy was talking about. Even under the hipster-required facial hair, he had those soft features that would probably age gracefully—almost too gracefully—while Eli’s face was all man, complete with laugh lines and the wrinkles at his eyes that said he smiled often. They were both so breathtaking in such different ways.

  Jax shot daggers at his bandmate. “Shut up, Grandpa.”

  “You know, I can hear you.” Sammy was underneath them now, looking out around the empty seats as if the foursome might be hiding out there.

  “Now you’ve done it,” Eli said, not bothering to hush his voice.

  “Maybe we should go down. She’s a bit scary.”

  Sammy’s head shot up toward the ceiling, her hand over her eyes to block out the lights. “Aha! I see you up there. Do you think I’m an idiot? Bunch of hanging feet in the air…” Her voice trailed off as she muttered to herself.

  Now all four of them were laughing. The kind of laughing that made Lacy’s belly ache and tears gather in her eyes.

  Sammy shouted again. “If I lock up and you’re still in here, then you’ll be stuck until sound check.”

  That was all the encouragement they needed. “Coming,” Eli called down as Jax helped Lacy up from her sitting position.

  Andy was already on her way to the ladder. “I’m not getting locked in here on my one day in Baltimore with my sis. We have plans.”

  It was the first Lacy had heard of plans. She suspected that meant the afternoon would be free of the men, but perhaps it was good to have a break from the conflicting emotions that both sparked in her. “Conflicting desires” may actually be the more appropriate term. Time with both hotties had stirred her feminine hormones into a storm. Was this what The Weather Girls meant by “It’s Raining Men”? If so, she wasn’t singing, Hallelujah. She was praying, Help me, Lord.

  Partly, though, she was praying because she was now about to head back down the ladder.

  “You really don’t have to look down.” Eli’s voice was encouraging behind her. “Go slow. Keep your focus on your hands. On the next rung down. Your feet will find their own way.”

  There’s definitely a song in this experience.

  “And I’m going before you,” Jax said, “So if you fall, you’ll hurt me. So you won’t fall.”

  “Not helping!” Lacy said. “How are none of you even a little bit frightened of being so … up?”

  “What are you talking about? Of course we’re scared, Lacy. Maybe not of being up, but of something. Not a one of us has our shit together no matter what it seems.” Eli brushed a hair off her cheek. “Everybody’s faking it.”

  She liked that. Liked it a lot. It spoke to her in ways deeper than the moment. Even after Jax ruined it with “That’s what she said,” which was actually sort of funny, but also a mood killer.

  Everybody’s faking it. She repeated the phrase silently over and over as she took Eli’s advice and kept her eyes on her hands while she went down. Sure enough, her feet found their own way and soon she was on solid ground.

  She broke into a giant grin.

  “Happy you did that?” Andy asked. “I’m definitely proud!”

  Lacy nodded. Because she was happy, but even more she’d realized something else too. If she could face her fear of heights and climb more than four Eli’s above the ground, then she could face her empty staff pad. She just had to stop looking down on the whole thing. Focus on her hands as they strummed on her instrument. The words would follow.

  And while she waited for the rest to come down, it felt comforting to know that she wasn’t the only person faking it. Which it begged the question—what was Eli faking?

  Chapter Eighteen

  Lacy pulled her sunglasses from her purse as she and Andy exited the theater into the bright sunlight. She couldn’t stand not knowing any longer—she had to ask first thing when the two were finally alone. “So. What did you think?”

  They’d left the guys behind with Sammy so the girls could pursue whatever Andy had planned for the afternoon. Lacy followed her sister as she led the way to the curb.

  “I think it’s amazing.” Andy grinned at her. “A real band load in with a roadie? You’re on your way, girl. I’m proud of you. And of me! I called it a load in! Look how jargony I am.”

  Though the praise was nice, it wasn’t what Lacy had been referring to. “It really is crazy. But that’s not what I meant.”

  Andy held her hand out, easily flagging a cab. Really, she was excellent at that. Lacy had never mastered the art of cabbing in the same way her sister had.

  “Are you coming with?” Andy asked.

  Lacy was so busy admiring her sister’s talent, in fact, that Andy had already given directions to the driver and climbed in before Lacy had a chance to process it all.

  Of course she was coming with. Even though she had no idea where “with” was. She slid into the backseat and shut the door. Honestly, she didn’t care where they were going. She wanted Andy’s opinion on The Guy. “Back to before,” she nudged with her elbow. “What did you think about him?”

  “Oh! Him. Sorry, I don’t know where my priorities were.” Andy crossed one leg over the other. “Well. He’s amazing too. Really amazing. There’s a depth to him I didn’t notice at first. He’s strong and a caretaker. It’s a sexy combination, and he’d be good for you.”

  “Thank God you think so.” Muscles that Lacy didn’t realize had been tensed relaxed with Andy’s proclamation. There was always something so reassuring about the acceptance of your chosen man by the women you cared about. By your family. “Gah, I’m so glad you like Jax. I was worried that you wouldn’t ‘get’ him.”

  “I do get”—Andy paused, her nose wrinkling up—“Wait a minute—Jax? I was talking about Eli. Isn’t Eli the one you, you know, got it on with?”

  “No!” Except Lacy was no-ing the idea of Eli being her man and not what Andy had actually asked. “I mean, yes, but I told you that was over. It was only a one-time thing. Or a two-time thing. Whatever. He’s not the guy. The guy is Jax. What did you think about Jax?”

  “Huh. Jax.” Andy traced her brow with her finger over and over though it did nothing to relax her confused crinkle. “You really like Jax? What’s wrong with Eli?”

  The question irritated Lacy, and she didn’t keep it from her tone. “There’s nothing wrong with Eli. He’s just not The Guy. And yes, I really like Jax. Do you not?”

  Andy shook her head. “No, I like Jax fine. He’s just not for you.”

  “What’s that supposed to mean?” Lacy’s volume rose, earning a glance in the rearview mirror from the cabbie. The volume was necessary though. It expressed her sincere distress at the situation. Couldn’t Andy just be happy for her? Happy she was moving on finally, even though it wasn’t with her preferred candidate?

  Andy sighed, somewhat overdramatically if anyone asked Lacy. “Jax is … well, he’s still finding himself. And looking everywhere but inside. That’s not what you need. You need softer. More compassionate. Wiser.”

  Lacy gripped her fingers into the edge of her seat. This was so typical. Andy thinking she knew everything about everyone on first glance. So what if she was right ninety-nine percent of the time? This was clearly the one percent.

  “I do enjoy his Lacypants nickname,” Andy added, as if Lacy wasn’t at all about ready to blow. “I’m keeping that.”

  “You’re not keeping that.” No way. Lacy liked that it was Jax’s name for her, sometimes, but there would be plenty of time for him to find a better one. One lik
e Songbird. But more importantly right now, “And how do you know what I need?”

  “I’m your sister. Duh.” Andy turned to Lacy, eyebrows raised as if she was the one offended. “And do I need to remind you that I did this for a living?” She leaned forward toward the voice opening in the partition between the front and the back of the car and added for the driver’s sake, “I was a matchmaker.”

  This was almost laughable. “You matched one guy. One guy, Andy. With everyone but the right one. Remember the whole Jane situation?”

  Andy clasped her hands around her knee. “Low blow, girl. Although, for your information, I still regularly think angry thoughts at Jane. But may I remind you that you were the one who pushed me into that career in the first place?”

  Lacy rubbed at her neck, which was hot and red from frustration. “Only because we were desperate for money. It wasn’t a career—it was something to get by. Remember? You did it for me.”

  Andy opened her mouth to speak, but then closed it again. She cocked her head and studied Lacy. “This isn’t really about me, although of course you know I would do anything for you. Why are you being so weird about all of this? You used to value my opinions.”

  Lacy threw her head against the seat back and sighed. “Because I really like Jax. Like, really really like him.” Well, she really really liked his alter ego, anyway. “Andy, you don’t get it. He’s different with me. When we’re…”—she was not about to admit online, so she said—“alone, he’s sensitive and supportive and all about me. What you saw today is only one side of him.”

  “I’m sure I don’t see all of him,” Andy conceded. “Just like I’m sure you don’t see what I see in Blake. But when I’m in a room full of people, I still recognize the same inner qualities that I see in Blake when we’re alone. They may be hidden or obscured, but they’re still there. So, while I can’t be the judge of Jax, you have to ask yourself—is he the same guy? Because if he’s a chameleon, if he changes his colors, then my next question for you is, who is he really?”

  Lacy turned away and bit her tongue. She didn’t want to say what she was really feeling, which was, leave me alone. She also didn’t want to admit that there was a lot of valid wisdom in Andy’s words. Lacy liked Jax. He was a good enough guy. Why was he so different when they were face-to-face than he was when he was online as Folx?

  She hoped that as soon as he realized she was LoveCoda that he’d show her more of his other side. She hoped. But what if she was wrong? What if Folx was just an aspect of him, and not his true self?

  She didn’t want to think about that right now. She definitely didn’t want to discuss it anymore with her psychologist sister who had the man of her dreams waiting for her at home. And she didn’t want to be fighting, either. Not on the one afternoon she got with Andy in town.

  Lacy took a deep breath and turned back to face her older-but-not-necessarily-wiser sister. “You have a point, Andy. I appreciate your insight. But let’s not spend anymore time talking about boys on girl’s day.” She plastered on a smile. “Did you say earlier that we had plans?”

  “We have the most serious of plans.” Andy bit her lip as if the news she was about to deliver wouldn’t be taken well. “You need a maid of honor dress. I’ve already made a list of local boutiques to hit. We’re on our way to number one now. If you can do this, I will buy the Best Bloody Marys Ever.”

  Though fancy clothes weren’t really Lacy’s game, dress shopping was a helluva lot better than debating the merits of men she didn’t totally understand in the first place. “Well, okay then.”

  Andy put up a hand as if in protest. “I know you said we’d have time to get it later, but you don’t know how hard it is to find something perfect. And there could be alterations and that can take a few weeks. We have to do it now.”

  “Fine. I’m in.”

  “We won’t spend—” Andy halted. She narrowed her eyes suspiciously. “You mean you’re not arguing with me?”

  “No, I’m not. Sheesh, Andy, I don’t always argue with you.” So maybe she mostly did. That’s what younger sisters were for.

  For the second time that cab ride, Andy opened her mouth and closed it again before speaking. “No. You don’t. In fact, there’s a whole lot of times I imagine you swallow what you really want to tell me. Have I told you lately how much I love you?”

  “Not nearly as recently as you should have.”

  Andy patted Lacy’s thigh as the cab pulled up to their destination. “I love you, Lacypants. Now let’s go find a dress.”

  Lacy smiled as her sister paid the driver. This was fine. Andy would learn to love Jax the same way Lacy had learned—er, was learning—to love Blake. Which reminded her—“What if we find the perfect dress? Won’t Tim be upset that he didn’t have a say in our choice?” At least picking out a dress in Baltimore instead of Boston kept her from having to deal with the man’s histrionics.

  “Oh, no worries there. I, uh”—Andy kept her eyes at her feet—“brought my iPad. Okay, then, let’s go!” She headed toward the store entrance.

  “Andy!” It was funnier than she’d ever admit to see her strong, bullheaded sister so cowed. Still better the iPad than having the man in person to cow her too. “Okay”—Lacy trotted to catch up—“but lunch is on you. And it’s going to be crab. I know a cool bar.”

  * * *

  Sammy pulled on the door of the back entrance, making sure it was secure. “Okay, I think we got all the doors locked. I had to move the bus from the loading zone so it’s across the street in the public parking lot. Follow me.”

  The roadie took off at a surprisingly fast pace for someone with such short legs. Eli looked at Jax, who just shrugged. “Guess we’re following her.”

  “Guess so.” Jax started after her.

  Eli matched his leisurely pace. He so rarely got to hang with his friend these days. Maybe they could spend the afternoon together. Do lunch. Catch an afternoon show. Spend a little time remembering all the reasons they were friends, and not just bandmates.

  Eli was just about to suggest it when Jax stopped walking and glanced behind them. “What happened to the girls?”

  “You mean Lacy and Andy?” They’d left the minute they’d come down from the catwalk, nearly half an hour ago now. Jax could be so clueless. “They had some other plans in town, I guess.”

  At the mention of them, Eli wondered what they were doing. Wondered if Lacy was forcing her sister into a crab shack or if she had taken him up on the idea of exploring the Poe House.

  He hoped it wasn’t the latter. He wanted to show her that himself.

  And when would he do that? On their next trip to Baltimore? No, there was no their. God, why was that so hard to remember?

  Jax stepped off the curb and into the crosswalk. “Too bad. She’s kinda adorable.”

  Eli was glad his sunglasses hid his eye roll. “She’s engaged.”

  “Lacypants is engaged?”

  “No. I thought you meant her sister.” Actually, he wished that Jax meant Andy. He didn’t like the idea that other people realized the awesomeness of Lacy like he did, unfair and unreasonable as that idea was.

  “Nah, the sister’s not my type. But Lacy…” Jax trailed off, his eyes dreamy as his mind drifted with the thought. “She’s got a great ass too. Had a great view as she was coming down that ladder. Nice.”

  Guess Jax didn’t miss much after all.

  “Yeah, she’s something.” Because what else could he say? The adjectives he could use to describe their newest tour member would fill at least a page of his spiralbound notebook. Maybe even the whole notebook, if he let his mind get carried away. And great ass would not be anywhere on the first page. Though it would probably be in the first five.

  Lacy did have a great ass.

  They’d reached the other side of the street by the time Jax spoke again. “Hey, you’re not interested in her, are you? Because if not…”

  Eli couldn’t bring himself to say he wasn’t interested. He was
very interested. He just wasn’t allowed to be interested. Their decision to be friends prevented that. And Lacy had her own interest—namely Jax.

  And since he knew that Lacy was into Jax, he had to encourage the relationship. It was the honorable thing to do, no matter how much it pained him. He loved his friend, annoyed as he could get, and Lacy—well, she deserved more than his two-timing heart. It was only right to allow them to be happy together. “If you like her, you should go for it.”

  Eli wasn’t honorable enough, though, to not qualify his statement. Or maybe he was exactly that honorable. “Just don’t be a dick about it, Jax. Lacy’s not the kind of girl you can fuck and forget.” He happened to know this from experience.

  Jax eyed his friend. “You’re talking like you’re into her, bro. Say the word and I’ll keep my hands off. Though, you know, the Groupie Clause says sharing’s acceptable.”

  Eli’s hand clenched instinctively into a fist at his side. Not that he’d ever actually punch Jax, but it felt good to pretend he might. “She’s not a groupie, ass. She’s a coworker. And because of that you need to show her a little respect. While we’re on this tour, she’s practically a member of the band.”

  “Good point. Maybe I’ll wait until after the tour to hit that, then.”

  “Sometimes you’re such an asshole.” Suddenly Eli wasn’t interested in lunching with his old friend, with reconnecting. He wasn’t even sure he wanted to ride with him back to the hotel.

  Jax climbed the steps of the bus then turned back. Spreading his arms in a this-is-who-I-am stance, he said, “It’s called charisma, Eli. You don’t recognize it because you don’t see it when you look in the mirror.”

  “Full of yourself much?” Now Eli was sure he didn’t want to ride with Jax. The hotel was only five minutes away—he could walk it. It probably took longer in traffic than on foot. But that would be out and out rude at this point, so he followed up into the vehicle.

  Then, when Jax ignored his usual backseat sprawl to sit by the others, Eli felt obliged to take the spot in front of him. At least Jax was trying to be social. The two hadn’t had a conversation that didn’t revolve around a song or the tour for months. The least Eli could do was meet him halfway.