by Rye Hart
And maybe, I finally had.
I sipped more of my wine and caught him staring at me again. This time I'd caught him gazing at the cleavage peeking out from my sundress. I'd specifically dressed somewhat sexy – or as sexy as I could, considering my wardrobe. The strappy sundress had seemed perfect for the occasion – and for enticing my date. Or so, I'd hoped.
“I don't get it, Nico,” I said.
“Get what, Sophia?”
“Why you're spoiling me like this,” I said, staring down at my plate. “I mean, don't get me wrong, I appreciate it and am having the most amazing time I've ever had in my entire life. But I don't think I deserve it. Not like you seem to think I do. I'm just a normal girl who works in a diner in the Central Valley of California. I'm a nobody. And surely you could have your pick of gorgeous women.”
Nico reached across the table and lifted my chin, forcing me to meet his gaze. “You're not a nobody, Sophia,” he said softly. “You're a sweet, kind, and gorgeous woman. Any man would be lucky to spend time with you. And I'm only treating you the way you deserve to be treated.”
His eyes – I couldn't get past the way he looked at me. I'd never felt special about myself until that moment. I felt as if Nico saw something in me that I'd never seen in myself. He looked at me as if I was the most beautiful woman on earth – and he almost had me believing it.
“You really think I'm gorgeous?” my face burning as I asked.
“Of course, I do. I'd have to be blind not to,” he said. “Your smile lights up a room, your eyes are deep and soulful and kind. The first time I walked into the diner, I thought you were a knockout. When you greeted me, I felt my knees go weak and I wished I was fifteen years younger so I could ask you out without you thinking I'm some old creep. ”
He stroked my cheek before letting go. It was such a soft, sweet touch and it put a flutter in my heart.
“I don’t think I could ever think of you that way. You're the most interesting man I've ever met,” I told him. “And I meet a lot of men working in the diner. Believe me, none of them have ever compared to you, Nico.”
“I'm almost old enough to be your father,” he laughed. “I'd say that qualifies me as old.”
“But you're not,” I said. “You're not as old as my father. And thank God, you're not him.”
My voice cracked when I mentioned my father, and Nico seemed to understand that something was wrong. He stared at me, waiting for me to say more, and when I didn't, he finally addressed the elephant in the room.
“Your father isn't very nice to you, is he?”
At first, I wasn't sure what to say. My father didn't hit me or abuse me, so I wouldn't say he was mean to me. But he didn't care for me. Didn't love me – not the way a father should.
“Sometimes,” I said, choking up, “Sometimes, I feel like I'm a burden to him. That if I'd never been born, my mother would still be alive and his life would be better for it. Sometimes, I even think he blames me for our money troubles even though it's his gambling addiction that is the real problem.”
I'd never said those words out loud – not to anyone. And although, there was a sense of relief, it was accompanied by a strong sense of guilt. Nico put down his fork and stared at me, a look of sadness in his eyes.
I continued. “I mean, that's why he was willing to pimp me out for some cash. What father does that?” I asked, tears welling in my eyes. “He didn't even know you. Thank God, you're not a rapist or a murderer, but he didn't know that at the time, did he? All he cared about was the money. And God knows, in a few months, he'll probably just gamble it all away again and we'll be back in the same spot.”
I let it all out over dinner, and once it was out there, I had to admit, it felt good. It felt like a weight had been lifted off my shoulders to finally tell someone.
“I don't want to sound arrogant, but I really am the only one who keeps that diner up and running,” I said. “My dad comes in when he wants. I have to call and beg the other employees to cover for him when he's too drunk to work the grills, and more often than not, I'm doing everything. And he just – sends me away. On a whim. For money. Who does that?”
As I spit it all out and unburdened my soul, I was full-out crying and attracting attention from nearby customers. People were staring at us, and I felt bad for ruining this dinner with Nico. I felt bad for laying this all out on him, and even worse for assuming he was a monster to begin with.
I stood up, preparing to excuse myself when Nico took my hand, giving it a gentle squeeze.
“I'm so sorry, Sophia,” he said. “I knew something wasn't right with how easily he agreed to my proposal. But I had no idea it was this bad for you. Had you not wanted to come, I would have –”
“No, stop that,” I said, walking over to him. He stood up and cupped my face in his hands. “Stop that. I'm so happy I came. This has been the best day of my life. And I really mean that. Nobody has ever showed me the kindness, compassion and consideration you have, Nico. And you have nothing – absolutely nothing – to be sorry about.”
Maybe it was the wine, maybe it was the emotional moment we'd just shared. But I didn't stop myself from kissing him this. I stood on my tip-toes and pressed my lips to his. At first, he seemed shocked, like he might pull away, but after a moment, he pulled me to him and settled into the kiss, his tongue moving past my lips and dancing with mine.
Nico pulled back. “I'm sorry,” he said. “We shouldn't – I mean, I shouldn't –”
He excused himself and rushed toward the restroom, leaving me there alone with my tears and feelings of guilt and surprise. And the heartache of him rejecting me hurt more than anything in that moment.
I sat down at the table, feeling like a fool for pushing it, for kissing him. God knew I wanted to kiss him, but I shouldn't have done that.
Nico wasn't into me like that. He was better than that, and he deserved better than me. I'd been a fool for thinking otherwise.
CHAPTER SIX
“I'm sorry, Sophia,” Nico said in the limo back to our bungalow.
I could hardly look at him, without feeling ashamed. We'd barely exchanged any words since the kiss, but he didn't have to say anything. I knew he regretted it. And the shame that filled my heart was overpowering.
“Listen, the wine was flowing, and so were my emotions,” I said with a shrug, still not managing to look at him. “It's my fault, I shouldn't have done that.”
“No, I shouldn't have done that,” he said. “I shouldn't be taking advantage of you like that. You deserve better.”
“Take advantage of me? But why would you –”
“I told you. I'm not expecting you to do anything with me. Not in that sense,” he said, stopping me before I could say anything else. “And I mean it. Nothing. I don't expect anything but your companionship and don't want you to feel like you have to –”
I turned and looked at him, he was clearly emotional. “I don't think that, Nico. Maybe I worried about it at first, but not anymore. I promise you that,” I said. “You've been nothing but a gentleman, and have nothing to be sorry about.”
“Still, I should have kissed you.”
I laughed. “You didn't. I kissed you, Nico,” I said. “Not the other way around. If anyone should be sorry, it’s me.”
The limo stopped and so did our conversation, at least for the moment. Daniel opened the door, letting us out, and we walked toward our private bungalow. Nico was keeping his distance from me, and it hurt me to see him acting like that. It was as if he suddenly felt like he had to watch himself around me.
I grabbed his hand and forced him to stop and look at me. Reluctantly, he turned and looked into my eyes and I could see the sadness and worry in his face.
“Nico, I kissed you at the restaurant, you didn't force yourself on me. Is that what you're thinking?”
With the waves crashing around us and cool, ocean breeze blowing through my hair, he looked down at me and I felt my pulse race. He was gorgeous. So incredibly gorgeous.
And I had to resist the urge to kiss him again, knowing what happened the last time.
“I feel bad,” I continued. “For coming on to you, when clearly, you're not interested. I shouldn't have –”
“Not interested?” he scoffed. “Is that what you think?”
“Well, yeah,” I said. “I mean, look at you. You're rich, sexy as hell and a complete gentleman, what woman wouldn't want you? Gorgeous, intelligent women. But me, I'm just –”
Before I finished my thought, Nico pressed his lips to mine and kissed me. This time, there was no hesitancy, no pulling back. He was all in, as was I. We stumbled toward the bungalow, kissing and laughing as we went. And once we were inside, he kissed me long and hard, pressing me up against the door.
My body ached for him, but I was also a virgin. I had no idea what to do with my hands as he kissed me. And as stupid as I felt, I had no idea how to get from kissing to doing more. So, I did the only thing I could think of and reached down for his belt and started removing it.
“Wait a second,” he said, pulling my hands back.
He was laughing, an awkward sound, as he stepped back. And again, the familiar feeling of rejection washed over me. As if he could read my mind, he took my face in his hands and kissed me again.
“I'm not rejecting you, Sophia. It's just worried we're moving too fast,” he said. “You mentioned being a virgin and I don't want your first time to be rushed or anything less than perfect.”
Speaking of perfect, could he be any more perfect himself? The ache inside of me was almost too much, but I loved that he wanted to wait. He was right.
“Thank you,” I said, leaning my forehead against his and just cherishing the closeness.
Nico kissed me gently on the nose and then together, we walked out to the patio and snuggled in the hammock. Everything already felt so damn perfect, I couldn't imagine waiting for a better time. But I also wouldn't deny that the feeling of cuddling up against him, surrounded by the sea, was just as amazing for now.
Hopefully, there’d be time for more later.
CHAPTER SEVEN
With only one more day left on our vacation, Nico was in no hurry to make love to me. Or if he was, he didn't let on. He said he wanted us to get to know each other – really get to know each other – before we moved on to that next step.
“You seem to think I'm this perfect man,” he said, his hands entwined in mine as we curled up together in bed. “And I'm not. I'm nowhere near perfect, and I don't want to deceive you, Sophia. I've got more than my share of faults and flaws.”
“Deceive me? Come on, I see who you are – and you're as perfect as they come,” I said, relishing the energy between us.
The more time I spent with him, the more convinced I was falling for him. It was beyond crazy, but the heart wanted what the heart wanted. And my heart wanted him. In every way possible.
“But I'm not, Sophia. You just bring out the best in me, and so does being here. But when I'm home and working, well, I'm a different man,” he said. “Which is why I think we should wait.”
Inwardly, I groaned. I'd already waited so long for my first time. Most women were already sexually active at my age, and he wanted to keep me waiting. I found the perfect man, the man I wanted to give myself over to, and he wanted to take things slow. I both appreciated and abhorred the sentiment.
“Wait until what?” I asked, looking him dead in the eye. “Could it get any more perfect than this? A practically private island in the South Pacific? This is the stuff of fairy tales, Nico, and it couldn't be more perfect.”
He kissed my hand, and I could see the panic in his eyes. Perhaps he was the one not ready, I suddenly thought. “Have you been with anyone since your wife?”
His eyes quickly shifted to me, then just as quickly, he looked away. Finally, he sighed and answered my question.
“No, not in that way, I haven't,” he said. “I haven't been able to let myself go with anyone before.”
That answered the questions in my mind. It wasn't about making things perfect for me, or rather, that wasn't the only reason. He wanted to be sure he was ready too, ready to move on from Madeline and open himself up to another.
As much as I hated waiting, I knew it was the right thing. This wasn't all about me – this was about us. And as much as it needed to be right for me, it needed to be just as right for him.
I couldn't help but worry though. “Nico, can I ask you a question?”
“Of course, Sophia,” he said. “Anything.”
“What's going to happen when we get back to California?” I asked. “Because I can't just go back to working for my dad, in the diner. I just can't imagine that kind of life anymore. Not after I've felt what happiness – real happiness – is like. I just can't go back to that. Not with him.”
What I didn’t say was that I didn’t want a life that didn’t include him in it anymore. I wanted a chance to see where things with us could go. Nico was silent for a moment, making my feelings of unease grow.
“I have something I have to do,” he said, kissing me before climbing out of bed. “I'll be back.”
“Is everything okay?” I asked, sitting up and suddenly fearing the worst.
What had I said? Had I pushed for too much, too fast? Had I driven him off already? I pushed back the tears as he got dressed.
“Everything is fine, Sophia. Just some work I have to do. I'll be back,” he said. “And don't worry about what will happen when we go back. I promise you, whatever happens, you're going to be as happy there as you are here. I'm going to make sure of it.”
I wanted to believe him, but the way he left so quickly had me worried. There was some small part of me envisioning him getting on a plane and getting out of there, leaving the obviously crazy woman who wanted something more with him behind.
I curled up in bed, alone, and kicked myself for pressing the matter. He was obviously not over his wife, and I'd pushed him too far, too soon.
***
I'd dozed off, so I didn't hear Nico when he came in. It was the last night before we left, and I so badly wanted to sleep with him. Not just in the sexual way, but physically too. I just wanted to be near him, to soak in the comfort I felt in having his body pressed to mine.
The next morning, I awoke and he was curled around me, holding me close. Joy filled me as I realized he had come back to me. Not just back to the bungalow, but back to my bed.
I turned over to face him and he woke up too, a smile forming on his face as soon as our eyes met.
“Does our vacation really have to end?” I groaned. “I just want to stay here in paradise forever.”
“Sadly, it does,” Nico said, kissing my nose. “I have to get back to my company. They need me – and your diner needs you.”
“Yeah, I suppose so,” I whispered. Not that I wanted to go back there and continue working for my father, but that was the life I'd been given.
“Don't look so glum, Sophia,” he said. “We still have the morning here together.”
He kissed me, long and hard, and I kissed him back with everything I had. We'd kept things pretty chaste up until this point, but Nico's hands were wandering more than usual and I felt myself growing more and more excited.
“Are you sure you want to do this? With me?” he asked.
“Yes, yes, of course.” I said, feeling like I was going to explode with desire.
Nico kissed down the length of my neck, softly and gently. His hands moved over my body, lingering and touching me in a way that made me feel sexy, as if there was no one else he'd rather be touching. I let him lead the way, mostly, afraid to do something to screw things up. That moment in paradise, surrounded by the ocean and with Nico, was perfect. I was in sheer ecstasy.
He rolled over, moving himself on top of me, kissing and removing my pajamas one-by-one. There was no rush, nothing about him that was in a hurry, and when he removed my shorts and panties, he moved down between my legs. Spreading my thighs apart, he kissed me, gently moving h
is tongue between my soft folds. The pleasure was too much for me and my body arched upward as I gasped wildly. He rolled his tongue around, teasing and taunting me, tasting me as he brought me to orgasm rather quickly,, causing me to cry out, calling out his name over and over again as I thrashed wildly around on the bed.
Once it was over, Nico climbed on top of me and stared down at me lovingly. He placed a condom on himself, already being more cautious than most guys my age would have been. “Are you sure?” he asked me again.
“Yes, yes, Nico, please,” I said.
“I just don't want you to –”
I pushed myself upward, and felt his erection pressing against my body. I needed him inside of me, and I needed it now. I reached down and guided him to my opening which was already wet with his saliva. With one upward thrust, I took just the tip of him inside of me and groaned.
I knew he'd be gentle with me, and I was right. Slowly, he filled me up, stretching me open and taking my virginity, all while staring deep into my eyes. Once he was deep inside of me, he moved carefully, rocking back and forth until the pain was replaced by pleasure.
Our bodies were united in pleasure, and I could tell he was close. He was struggling to keep it together, and so I looked into his eyes and gave him permission.
“Come for me, Nico,” I said. “Please.”
“You first,” he said through clenched teeth.
I'd already climaxed once, and I was on the verge of a second, but I wasn't sure if Nico could make it that long. He let out a deep-throated groan and for a second, I thought he'd done it. And just the idea of making him come brought me even closer.
Together, we continued riding out the pleasure until Nico cried out my name, “Sophia. Oh yes,” and the sound of him in so much pleasure brought me to the edge. Staring in each other's eyes, we came together, our bodies writhing on the bed, spasming and shaking as we rode out wave after wave until Nico collapsed on top of me, clearly spent.