by Rye Hart
“It's bigger than my dildo,” she said with a shy smile. “God, I bet it feels so good. ”
I rolled over, pulling her on top of me. She squealed with delight as she was now on top, staring down at me. She smiled and licked her lips seductively.
“I think it's better to let you have control,” I said. “That way you can go as fast, or as slow, as you need to. I think you should dictate the pace, for your comfort.”
“But I don't know what I'm doing.”
“It's easy,” I reassured her. “And I'll guide you along. Come here.”
I helped lift her up, to position her to where her opening was poised just above me. She wiggled her body down, taking in just the tip. Slowly, she slid down the length of me, taking my cock into her inch by inch. Her eyes were wide and she moaned as I filled her up, sliding in a lot more easily than I initially thought I'd be able to.
God, she was so fucking tight, I wasn't sure I'd last very long.
With my hands on her hips, I helped her down all the way, and once I was sheathed inside of her completely, she started rocking, gently, with my help. The feeling of being inside of somebody so tight was amazing and I grabbed her ass, squeezing and kneading her skin. As she moved up and down on my cock, a low growl escaped my throat as a million different sensations washed over me.
A gasp escaped her and she squeezed her eye shut.
“Does it hurt?” I asked her, cringing, afraid she was in pain.
“No, not at all,” she said. “It feels good. Very good. Amazing even. It's the most incredible thing I've ever felt in my life.”
“Good,” I said, stroking her hip softly. “I want you to feel good.”
CHAPTER FOURTEEN
EMMA
When I slid down his cock, it took me by surprise. His cock stretched me wider than I'd been stretched before, but it felt amazing. I'd masturbated enough in my life that my hymen wasn't going to be a problem. I didn't want my first time to be painful, so I'd made sure of that. I'd prepared myself for it, you might say. But I never really could be prepared for this, not completely. The emotions involved with it were almost too much. As I stared down into his eyes and realized what was, I almost wanted to burst from happiness.
Surprisingly, it wasn't painful at all though. Marcus helped me move back and forth, making me grind myself against his body. The gentle, rolling movements felt amazing, and having my clit rubbing against his pelvis was almost too much. I hadn't expected my first time to feel so incredible and I was doing all I could to keep from crying out.
He was struggling to maintain control and keep himself from coming too soon, I could tell. At one point, I spasmed, my pussy clenching down tighter around him, and his eyes grew so wide, I thought he was going to come right then and there. But he held back and let out a groan of pleasure. I clenched down again, and he reacted once more. Smiling, I loved knowing I could have that effect on a man.
I fell forward, kissing him as I continued rocking back and forth on top of him, his hands guiding my rhythm. The feeling of his lips on mine, his hands on my body, was almost too much for me. My pulse quickened and my movements became more desperate as I felt my orgasm approaching. The closer I got, the faster I moved, I could tell he was struggling to stay in control. His brow was furrowed, his jaw was clenched tight and every movement caused him to let out a sound of pleasure. His hands gripped my hips even harder and tighter, his nails digging into my skin as he fought to maintain control of himself.
Every sound that came from his lips only made my own pleasure more intense. Even though I had no idea what I was actually doing, he made me feel amazing. Finally, I found the rhythm that made my eyes fly open and a moan of pleasure escape my lips. As I rocked back and forth, taking him deeper and deeper inside of me, he hit the right spot, and I felt the tightness in my pelvis as I found myself nearing the brink; and then I toppled over it.
“Marcus, oh Marcus,” I moaned, shuddering as the first wave of pleasure hit me hard.
I let out a cry of pleasure, unable to keep moving. I gasped and felt like I'd frozen in place as the ecstasy rolled through me. But Marcus kept me moving, guiding me with his hands to keep me sliding up and down on his cock, which kept my orgasm going, helping it grow stronger and stronger. With my head thrown back, I cried out, coming so hard, I felt like I might fall off of him. As I opened my eyes and stared down at him, I could see that Marcus was clearly on the verge of losing control. As my own orgasm subsided and feeling returned to my limbs, I started moving again, rocking back and forth, riding him as best I could. He stared up at me with wide eyes that were filled with a primal need. A hunger and a desire that only served to make me even wetter.
I loved that he had that look in his eyes as he locked gazes with me. It made me feel so wanted. So desired. It was hard to explain, but it made me feel like I was more than just a casual fuck for him. Something about the way he looked at me with such raw, naked emotion made me feel like this was something special, and not just for me. His nails dug into my flesh and I felt my pussy spasm around his cock. He gasped and I felt his entire body stiffened up just before he cried out.
“Oh God, Emma!”
With that, he exploded inside of me. I felt him pulsating and the warmth of his cum as he filled me up. It was unlike anything I'd ever felt before and having him shooting his warm seed deep into me felt so amazing that I very nearly orgasmed again. I looked down at him, reveling in the look of pure and utter bliss on his face as he emptied himself inside me.
That was exactly why I'd gotten myself on the pill. I'd wanted him to come inside of me; it made me feel more connected to him.
He groaned and stared up at me, neither one of us moving for several long moments. He was still inside of me, but I felt him growing softer. Eventually, I rolled off of him, his cum running down my legs, and I laid down beside him. He turned over and held me close, kissing me softly on my forehead.
“Thank you,” I said softly.
“No, thank you,” he said.
I could tell he wanted to say something else to me, but he remained quiet. I considered pressing him to get him to speak his mind, but decided against it. Instead, I allowed him to hold me close and plant soft kisses on my face and neck.
I'd done it. I'd lost my virginity, and not with just anyone. I’d given it to someone special to me, a man I'd dreamt about for so many years. This couldn't be real, could it? Oh, but it was. My heart was so full of joy. Saving it for all these years had been worth it, to share this moment with him.
“You okay?” he asked me, giving me a serious look.
I had tears in my eyes. I tried to hide my face, it felt silly to cry after sex. But Marcus lifted my head and made me stare at him, to look him in the eyes.
“I'm great,” I said. “I'm just so happy.”
He chuckled and kissed me. “I'm glad those are happy tears,” he said. “I was worried for a second.”
“Oh no, these are happy tears alright,” I said, wiping them away. “I just can't believe we did that. It was so beautiful, and amazing, and everything I always imagined it to be.”
“Good,” he said. “I'm glad to hear that.”
Curled up next to him, I closed my eyes. Suddenly, I felt so very tired. I listened to his heart beat and his breathing, and eventually, we both fell asleep cuddled together.
I was one happy girl.
ooo000ooo
The next morning, I awoke with a jolt, adrenaline shooting through my body. I sat up and it took me a moment to remember where I was. Marcus was still asleep beside me, and the sweet ache between my thighs was enough for me to remember everything. My amazing night hadn't been just a dream and my vibrator; it had really happened. After wanting it for years upon years, I'd finally had sex with Marcus Pratt.
I had to keep myself from squealing like a little girl as I stared down at him and smiled, feeling happy all over again, s, satisfied, and completely content. I leaned down and kissed him awake, gently.
“Hey
,” I whispered, “I have to get home. I have to work later this morning.”
He wrapped his arms around me and pulled me close to him, kissing me in his half-asleep state. I kissed him back and smiled as his eyes fluttered halfway open.
“Next time your kids are away, invite me over, okay?” I said, stroking his cheek. “I feel like I have so much more to learn from you. And I can't wait for my next lesson.”
He smiled and nodded. “Sounds like a plan,” he mumbled. “I'm really looking forward to it.”
I quickly got dressed, and as I did so, Marcus managed to wake himself up. He sat up in bed, covered only by his sheet, and motioned for me to come back over before I left.
“Next time,” he whispered, “I'll make you breakfast and you can stick around for a while.”
“That would be great,” I said, suddenly wishing I didn't have to work.
Honestly, I wasn't sure last night, how the next morning would turn out. I was hoping to avoid any and all awkwardness between us after we'd had sex. It turned out that I was silly to think there'd be any awkwardness between us at all. Everything seemed so natural, so at ease and comfortable. It surprised me.
“Then it's a date,” he said, kissing my hand before letting it go.
“It's a date,” I said, feeling giddy, my heart pounding in my chest.
He threw on some pants and walked me out to the front door, giving me one last kiss before saying goodbye.
“Thank you, again, Marcus,” I said. “For not thinking of me like a child. I promise, you won't regret it.”
“I'm never going to regret what happened,” he said.
Suddenly, I saw something in his eyes that I couldn't quite place. There was something about the way he looked at me that filled me with an indescribable warmth that seemed to come out of nowhere. It wasn't merely a passing glance between two fuck buddies. There was more to it. There was a depth and intensity there. If only I had time to hang out, to see what came from all of it, to see what he was thinking about.
But I had to get going.
“Good,” I said. “Because I won't either.”
Reluctantly, I made my way home from Marcus' house. I walked through the patio door and into the family room with a smile on my face and amazing memories scrolling through my head. As I turned around though, I felt my heart stop cold in my chest. Adrenaline shot through me and my eyes grew wide. I wasn't alone. Sitting on the sofa was my father. He was watching me with a look of barely controlled fury in his eyes.
“Where have you been, Emma?” he asked.
CHAPTER FIFTEEN
MARCUS
“Since our last appointment, I did what you suggested and signed us all up for surfing lessons,” I said.
I felt a sense of pride coursing through me as I announced my progress to Dr. Miller. And as flashes of my night with Emma scrolled through my head, I felt a sense of lust shoot through me, making my jeans a little tighter in the crotch.
Dr. Miller smiled politely, looking pleased. “How'd that go?”
“It's going well, I suppose,” I said. “Two lessons in so far. Zoey loves it, as I suspected. Zack was hesitant at first, but he's starting to come around.”
“That's excellent. And you?” he asked me. “How do you feel about it?”
“Honestly? I just watched the first lesson,” I said. “The girl who teaches the classes is an old friend – my neighbor actually, and if I'm being completely honest, I was afraid to look like a fool in front of her, so I declined to participate and just watched the first time out. But the kids managed to convince me to try the next time around. It wasn't as bad as I thought, but I'm still struggling a bit with the idea of looking like a complete idiot in front of Emma.”
“But you'll keep going?” he asked me.
“I figured we would,” I said with a shrug. “But it's going to get very complicated from here on out.”
Dr. Miller arched an eyebrow as he looked at me. “Oh? How so?”
I knew I needed to talk about what was happening with Emma, but I didn't know how to bring it up without embarrassing myself. It was crazy because she was a consenting adult and I knew Dr. Miller likely wasn't going to judge me for my relationship with her, but I was still afraid that he might. I knew it was all in my own head, but I couldn't stop feeling like a dirty old man. I was a cliché and didn't want to admit that I slept with the babysitter, but there were some complex feelings going on below the surface that I needed to talk about.
Like guilt. Guilt that I'd taken advantage of Emma. And guilt that I'd somehow been unfaithful to Gina. Rationally, I knew that my feelings were silly and unfounded. But my emotions rarely operated on the rational level.
So, I decided to suck it up, judgment from Dr. Miller or not, and lay all my cards on the table.
“Well, the instructor, my neighbor, her name is Emma, and we've been intimate,” I said.
My doctor raised an eyebrow, looking surprisingly even more pleased with things. “That's good,” he said. “I know you've struggled with the idea of being intimate with women in the past, so this is a good sign. It's a sign of forward movement. Progress. It tells me that you're starting to get yourself unstuck from the past.”
He looked at me and I felt like a bug pinned to a board beneath his scrutiny. I couldn't meet his gaze and I felt the heat and color rushing into my face.
“What is it, Marcus?” he asked. “You seem to be struggling with something.”
“I just, well, I can't help but feel bad about it,” I said. “A little guilty, to be honest.”
“Because of your wife, you mean?”
“No, well, that's part of it,” I said with a laugh. “But mostly it's because she's my neighbor. She's younger than me, and – ”
“How much younger?”
I sighed and leaned back in my seat. This was where the rubber met the road and I was suddenly terrified of admitting the truth of it all. I'd come this far, too far to turn back I told myself. I cleared my throat and forced myself to meet Dr. Miller's steady gaze.
“She's twenty-one,” I said. “She's been babysitting my kids for years now, and it just feels so weird. I feel so conflicted about it all because I'm so much older than she is. On one hand, she's this incredible young woman. On the other hand, she's so young, and my babysitter. How much of a damn cliché am I, Dr. Miller?”
A small smile played at the corners of his mouth, but I didn't see the faintest trace of judgment in his eyes, which surprised me, quite frankly.
“Does she make you happy, Marcus?” he asked me simply.
It seemed like such an odd question considering what I was dealing with, but I answered honestly, “Yes, she does actually,” I said. “The kids love her and she's great with them, she always has been. And for a while now, I’ve found myself thinking, ‘if only I could find someone like her’.”
“Why not her?” Dr. Miller asked me.
“What?”
“You said you'd like to find someone like her,” he said, his tone neutral. “Why not be with her instead of finding someone like her? It seems to me that the genuine article is always better.”
“Because of her age, for one thing,” I said. “I'm almost middle-aged, Dr. Miller. I've been married before, have two kids; she's just starting out in life. She doesn't need my baggage. I feel like I'd be holding her back, keeping her from really experiencing life at that age.”
“Isn't that up to her to decide?” he asked. “Why is it your place to decide what she wants and doesn't want? Shouldn't she have some say in the matter?”
“She should, yes,” I said. “I just don’t know if it should progress any farther than it has.”
“Would you like it to progress?” he asked. “Would you like to have more than just physical intimacy with her?”
I thought about it for only a second before answering, “Yes, I would,” I said softly. “I'd like to continue being with her.”
“Do you have feelings for Emma?” he asked. “Genuine feelings a
side from the physical nature of your relationship?”
This time, I had to stop and think. How in the hell did I feel about her? I'd kept shutting down any and all thoughts about dating her, about allowing myself to get emotionally involved with or attached to her. I'd never let myself go there because I knew it was a bad idea from the start. But as I sat in that chair across from Dr. Miller, I allowed myself to explore that possibility in my mind and in my heart really, for the first time. And the answer came to me quite simply.
“Yes, I think so,” I said. “I could see myself falling in love with her. She's an incredible and amazing woman.”
That last part was hard as hell to admit. Scary too. I wasn't ready for love, was I? I stared back at Dr. Miller and he seemed to read my mind.
“Marcus, perhaps it's time you opened yourself up to the possibility of falling in love with Emma,” he said. “If you're both happy and consenting, why not? She's already good with your kids, and she's the first woman you've spoken of in a positive way since Gina passed away. I think, maybe, it's time that you at least begin to allow for the possibility of finding your way back to love and a healthy relationship. And I think this Emma might actually be good for you.”
As I listened to him, I wanted to believe what he was saying. The one question that kept recurring in my head was stark and brutally honest – was I good for Emma?
It was a question I didn't have an answer for.
ooo000ooo
My shrink really had me thinking after I'd left my session with him. Could I fall in love with Emma? Would a relationship with her be okay? Would that just be a bad idea all around? Some women preferred to date older men, that wasn't completely out there or strange. But for some reason, dating someone who grew up next door, somebody who'd babysat for my kids felt wrong and a little bit dirty..
I picked up the kids from my mom's house, and when we pulled in the driveway, they were already asking for Emma. They were buzzing and excited about seeing her and getting her to play another board game with them.