by Lissa Kasey
Bryar glanced at me. His eyes glowed just as bright as the babies since he was a fairy. “I’m bringing the babies to Jamie’s room,” Bryar told me. “Jamie and Kelly are holed up over there.”
“Seiran going too?” Because he really needed to. Whatever it was that was downstairs none of us needed to see. I suspected I already knew what it was and the wards were working the way they should.
Bryar frowned. “He said he would follow in a little bit.”
This martyr bullshit needed to stop. “Is it who I think it is?”
“Yes,” Bryar said.
I sighed, feeling sluggish, and not up for another battle. Stupid sun. I rubbed the bracelet on my wrist, forgetting I hadn’t taken it off and suddenly a burst of warm energy slid through me. Well that was nice. Maybe I could get Sei to make me a whole shit-ton of these bead things.
I left the room in search of Seiran and Gabe. Because that tugging at me was the ghost of a broken tie, Gabe’s severed bond. I felt it like a phantom limb, tugging and flailing, painful, raw, and not at all normal. No one said that broken bonds could be mended, or even used to trace an old tie, yet that’s exactly how it felt. I could feel Gabe pacing, his agitation and irritation, raging like a caged beast, both from the severed bond, and from his link to Seiran. Another tangled web. I sighed. Someone needed to help me work out this siphon bullshit.
Seiran stood at the giant sliding door that led to the arboretum. In the actual arboretum, which wasn’t more than a plot of dirt and a few tiny trees surrounded by glass and pretty architecture, paced Gabe. His skin was pink from the sun overhead, but he didn’t seem to notice it at all. Waves of anger and irritation rolled off of him. He grumbled things that I couldn’t make out. Seiran seemed frozen at the door. Unsure of what to do.
“The wards are working,” I said. They pulsed on the edge of my senses. “How come he got into the arboretum?”
“I didn’t extend the wards that far,” Seiran said. “Just to the edges of the actual house. The arboretum is an add-on.”
We would have to fix that soon then. I watched Gabe pace. He kept looking up, glaring at us, trying to approach the door but not getting close enough to touch it. His eyes were completely red. Not glowing with the monster, but dark, blood-filled orbs that reminded me of pictures of demons. Was he already a revenant? His arm hadn’t healed at all. He kept the battered remains of it hugged tightly to his chest, the flesh appearing to be rotted and blackened, the earth eating away at it slowly.
“It’s hurting him to not be close to me,” Seiran replied. “I can feel it.” He closed his eyes and shuddered. “He’s so broken. Memories, thoughts, everything about him is a jumble of chaos. He’s not healing at all.”
Which worried me as much as the red eyes. “How long until he becomes a revenant, Ronnie? Could any of us bring him back from that?” I waved my hand at the giant dirt pile Gabe paced. “Have the earth take him back before it’s too late.”
“Maybe if I explain…” Seiran whispered. He put his hand to the glass and tears rolled down his cheeks. He reached for the door handle, and I grabbed his hand.
“No,” I said firmly.
“He won’t hurt me,” Seiran said.
“He isn’t Gabe right now.”
“He is,” Seiran insisted. “I feel him.” Seiran put his hands to his face and sobbed into them. “He’s so lost and alone.”
“And how will you dying in his arms help that?”
“Seiran, come to me,” Gabe said. His words barely audible, but I felt them like a punch to the gut. It wasn’t a request, but a demand. Seiran trembled, hands fisted, pressed to the glass. I could feel the war inside him. The pull to obey and how he fought the compulsion. Vampire compulsion. That was one power that Gabe had always told me to use sparingly. Equivalent to mind rape, were the words that stuck in my head. That he would do this to Seiran made me want to rip him to shreds.
Seiran shut his eyes and his pain was so sharp in that moment I could almost feel it cut the both of us. “He promised to never do that. It’s not supposed to really work now that I’m his Focus.”
“You’re not running to his arms,” I pointed out, though I knew that was sheer willpower. I wasn’t bound to Gabe anymore and had to fight the need to go to him. He hadn’t even called me. Fuck.
Gabe stopped pacing a moment again, stared directly at us, then the demand came again, “Come to me, Seiran.”
Seiran wiped at his eyes. “Let me just talk to him.”
“What’s to talk about, Ronnie? He knows what he needs to do.”
“I don’t know if he does,” Seiran said. “He is so confused. Drowning in hunger, rage, and confusion. Maybe if I explain it again?”
“No,” I said. “He doesn’t get to keep hurting you. This is the whole abusive relationship nightmare everyone hears about, but tries to ignore.”
“He wasn’t always like this. He’s not…”
“But he is now,” I pointed out. “You can’t keep living in the past, Seiran. Matthew is gone. Roman is gone. Your mother doesn’t have any power over you anymore. Gabe needs to go to ground. You have a future to survive for. Children. A world of change to create in the Dominion. Don’t let one man steal all of that from you. No matter how much you might love him. Love will not save either of you. You both have to make the choice to change. Him to go to ground and maybe heal this, and you to grow a pair of balls and fight back.”
“Fuck you!” Seiran said.
“Truth hurts, Ronnie? How long will you play the victim? Yeah, the world fucking hates us. Sure, everyone is out to get us. But you know what? So what? We are stronger than that. You’re Father fucking Earth! I’m some sort of weird super-rare siphon, apparently more powerful than the Tri-Mega. So tell me why it’s okay to let people treat us like shit? Neither of us asked for this. Tell me that if Gabe were himself, and looking in on your relationship right now, like the thing pacing out there was someone else, that he wouldn’t say you needed to end that?”
“Sam.”
“Fuck you!” I screamed at Gabe through the glass as his strength rolled over me, trying to coax me out that door. His energy hit a metaphysical wall, Max’s strength, and vanished like it had never been.
I took Seiran’s face in my hands. “Don’t let love break you. If he’s in there, the way to get him back is to put him in the ground. If it worked for me, it can work for anyone. You said yourself I was an asshole when I went to ground and mellowed out when I rose.”
“You’re still an asshole,” Seiran said.
“Love you too, Ronnie.” I let go of him to stare out the door again at the pacing monster beyond. He’d been sane when he’d brought me over. Perhaps not completely in control like he’d made us think, but the thing that raged and growled out there was nothing like the man who’d mentored me in my first few months. That man had been quiet, reserved, and respectful. This was nothing but a beast barely held back from totally losing it to bloodlust.
Seiran sighed and pushed open the door but didn’t step through it. Gabe did not advance. “Let me tell him one last time. Give him one last chance to make the right decision.”
I sighed. Fucking martyrs. “Only if I come with. If he starts something, I will finish it. Do you understand that? That thing out there is on the verge of becoming what you saw from me yesterday.”
“You came back.”
“Because Max took control. I feel him even this second. I’m not sure how he did it, not after I apparently took down Galloway. Do you think he’s strong enough to bond Gabe too? Gabe is like a billion years old.”
“Tresler bonded Gabe.”
“Gabe willingly did that because Tresler convinced him he needed to so he could protect you. And I’m not sure how strong that bond is, it could just be what’s driving him mad.”
Seiran frowned, “Do you think that was his plan from the beginning? Tresler, I mean?”
“The fuck if I know. The old vamps really seem to have a skewed version of the world. I h
ope I don’t get so stupid as I age that common sense eludes me.”
We shared a look that I took to mean that he feared the same thing happening with him. A vampire Focus lived as long as his master, and Seiran as Father Earth might actually have been more than just mortal anyway. Would we both go mad over time? “We’ll keep each other honest, yeah?” I prompted.
“Or become total enemies fighting each other ‘til the day we die in the ultimate destruction of the earth,” Seiran remarked.
I snorted. “Sunny view, Ronnie, but possible.”
He reached for my hand, which I gave him.
“If he goes revenant you put him in the ground, Ronnie. Understand? I can hold him off, but not forever. He’s stronger than me, lived long enough to probably tear me up. So you can’t hesitate. You get that? You need to live because you have super-babies upstairs who need you. Think of how pissed you were that your dad wasn’t there ‘cause he died before you were born. Don’t do that to your own kids.”
“Bastard,” Seiran grumbled.
“Jerk,” I threw back.
Seiran took one step out the door, then down the stairs onto the dirt-packed ground of the arboretum. I followed, giving rise to the connection between us and the power that he kept locked away. Flowers bloomed beneath our feet. Well, flowers for Seiran, cacti for me. I’d have to ask him about that sometime.
Gabe took a step in our direction. Seiran held up a hand to ward him off. “No.”
“You belong to me,” Gabe said. He sounded almost normal, but the raging red of his eyes said otherwise. “Why would you put a wall between us?”
“You need to go to ground, Gabe,” Seiran said. “You need real rest.”
“I need you to stop trying to make decisions for me.”
“What decisions have I made for you?” Seiran demanded. “Everything I’ve done is for you.”
“Right,” Gabe snarled and went back to pacing. “Moving out and leaving was for me.”
“Yes,” Seiran said. “You know what you need to do, and obviously I’m holding you back. Removing myself from the situation was best for both of us.”
“You’re not safe. I can’t protect you if you’re not with me.”
“You’re not with me,” Seiran pointed out. “You were at some club feeding on groupies and trying to mind rape teenage girls. How is any of that protecting me? How is you abandoning me when I’m caring for the twins, helping me? You were part of my mother’s scheme to beget heirs. Now they are here and you don’t get to say that you don’t want to be part of it and still be in my life. That’s not fair to me, or to them.”
“They make me hungry,” Gabe admitted quietly. “Their power, your power…it’s too much. I crave it so much, it’s better if I’m not home. If I feed off others. I’m not sure I could stop…”
That was news neither of us had expected. I wasn’t tempted by the twins at all, despite their crazy power. In fact their super energy set my own power on edge, a warning of biting off more than I could chew was the idea I got from all of it.
“If you can’t be with me why not go to ground? Heal?”
“You don’t know that it will fix anything,” Gabe said. “And you’ll be alone.”
“I’m already alone,” Seiran said. “You’ve been gone for months.” He tapped his forehead. “Even from here. And now you’re open to me. Why? Just so I can see how mad you’ve become? It’s such a mess in there that I don’t know if I’m the one angry, anxious, or sad. Is it me or you? Am I going mad? I think you’re driving me mad. You promised you’d love me forever. This isn’t love, Gabe.” He let out a long sigh. “I’m not sure you can feel love right now.”
Gabe rushed forward and I tried to pull Seiran back, but he wouldn’t budge. The green rose up through the earth into his body, crawling up his legs, Father Earth coming to roost, but Gabe only put his only good hand on Seiran’s face, and kissed him soundly.
Seiran returned his kiss for a moment, then pulled away to reach up to pull Gabe’s hand off his face. “You can’t keep breaking my heart. It’s not fair.”
“You can’t leave me,” Gabe said, baring his fangs. “You belong to me.”
“I belong to no one,” Seiran said. “You taught me that. You taught me that love was respect, not ownership.” Seiran turned his head to the side as though he just couldn’t look at Gabe. “You told me once that a vampire’s Focus was often the death of the vampire. Now I understand why. You’re not Gabe. You are just his shade. Go to ground before I put you there.”
Gabe growled, and before I could react, he was on Seiran. Not kissing him, but his teeth digging into Seiran’s throat, arms wrapped around him like a vice.
“No!” I leapt at him, trying to pull him off Seiran. Gabe’s grip was like granite. My strength was not enough. And wasn’t that just the worst feeling again? I couldn’t save anyone. Not myself, and certainly not my former mentor and my friend. Fuck Seiran Rou for insisting on becoming my friend.
Seiran shoved at him not just with strength but with power, throwing him several feet away. It was a blast of energy so strong it felt like fire on my skin. Gabe leapt forward, more animal than anything human I’d ever seen. I was too slow to react, I needed more practice fighting fucking vampires instead of witches, but I felt Seiran’s tug on our bond. In that moment I was his Focus as he directed the energy. A giant root latched around Gabe, catching him in midair. Gabe struggled against it, ripping at it, but unable to really free himself.
Max nudged at me, his power asking for a claim over my body. I had no idea what he planned but just let him roll through me, settle over me like some sort of costume. Not an illusion, but a full-on presence. His power nearly sent me to my knees as the weight of it wrapped around me. Only his will kept me standing. This was Max, I thought. The part of him he kept restrained around everyone. The power he hid from the world to maintain the status quo. It wasn’t even magic. Not really. More just force of will and a presence so large he could have brought any congregation of worshipers to their knees proclaiming he was God.
His power slammed into Seiran and Gabe. Gabe stumbled back a few feet, only held up by the root, blood covering his mouth and chin like he was some sort of monster. The root broke and Gabe fell on his ass, shaken, disoriented, but at least several feet away. Seiran sank to the ground, his hand pressed to his neck, earth rising upward in vines along his skin like it sought to heal his wounds.
“Enough, Gavril,” Max said through my lips. “You’ve spent your life destroying that which you love, will you continue that cycle or finally break free of it?”
Gabe stared at me, blinking, confusion on his face.
Seiran looked my way. “Max?”
Did I look like Max? I could feel him laced over me like a skin of some sort, but hadn’t thought anyone could see it.
“You failed me lifetimes ago, and now you will fail him?” Max asked.
Gabe took another step away from us. Something warred on his face changing his expression from anger to confusion to rage and back to a lost look that clearly said he was having trouble focusing on whatever he was seeing and thinking.
“Titus? I…” He looked back at Seiran, who sobbed into his knees, broken by being attacked by the one person he loved and trusted before anyone. I knew from experience it was hard won affection. A lifetime of the world fucking with us made us cynical bastards, the few who got through were either super loyal or would destroy us.
“This is your last chance,” Seiran said. “Go willingly or I will put you in the ground.”
The red haze in Gabe’s eyes faded, and for the first time I could remember since I’d woken from the grave the second time, his eyes were green. He dropped to his knees just feet from Seiran.
“Seiran…what did I? Oh, my God… What did I do?” He looked around the room, looking confused at where he was, lost.
His eyes met mine and through me, Max. “I didn’t mean to…”
“But you did,” I said, forcing my own words throu
gh the visage of Max. “You’ve done exactly what you promised you would never do. How has any of this helped Seiran who you claim to love so much?” I demanded, pissed, wanting to rip Gabe apart just for causing the pain I could feel rolling off my best friend. Fuck, Seiran was like the twin brother I’d never asked for. We were linked through magic and emotions. Stupid emotions. Stupid powerful emotions. They could either build us up or tear us apart.
“I do love him,” Gabe whispered, his gaze falling back on Seiran. He dropped forward, hands to the earth, head down. “I didn’t… I don’t understand what happened…”
“You need rest,” I repeated. “You once told me not to fear it.”
Gabe looked at Seiran again. “I’m so sorry, my love. I never meant to hurt you.” He stared at his remaining good hand for a moment, which was flecked with Seiran’s blood. His damaged arm looking like little more than bone charred by fire. He touched his jaw and the smear of Seiran’s blood came away bright red and fresh. Seiran still clutched his neck, though he was healing. He was curled in a ball over his knees, shaking his head and refusing to look up.
“Seiran,” Gabe whispered, “I’m so sorry. I love you so much. I didn’t mean… I would never hurt you…” But he had. A thousand times over. Gabe bowed his head. He swallowed hard, put his hands back to the earth, then stared at Seiran when he said, “To the earth I commit myself.”
The ground began to bubble around him, a living thing, sucking him down. He didn’t fight, or struggle, just sank into the ground like fast quicksand swallowing him whole. Seiran lifted his tear-filled gaze and it was a sad moment of their eyes meeting as Gabe vanished into the earth. The dirt settled, lying flat as though nothing had happened.
Seiran stared at the spot, his arms wrapped around himself, emotions blank, locked away in a vault erected out of bricks built with pain. Max retreated, though he knew I had a million questions for him.
The sun overhead made my skin ache, but it wasn’t burning me for which I was grateful. I dropped to my knees beside Seiran and wrapped my arms around him. The wound at his neck still oozed blood, but it had slowed. I leaned over and licked it, willing it to close.