"I guess that Feyer’s way didn’t allow for the father to have any say, regarding the finality of your decision did it Feyer?"
"No. At the time it looked as though the Harz pack would remain together indefinitely or at least until we were wiped out by the project. The no – breeding policy was strictly enforced and I was an Avoider who carried responsibilities."
"Exactly!"
"I can recognise your sarcasm Dean, but don’t you feel that a lot of what-ifs underpin your implied condemnation? If we had made love like in the copse as opposed to a slam-bang session, conception would have been achieved from the warmest quarter. Then a father has the right to know. If I had fallen pregnant when my splinter-pack broke from the main group, we could have wrestled things out and possibly raised a child for a year or two, but too many Herod’s stalked Goslar in effect. Finally and most importantly, if we were bringing a child into a comparatively stable environment we could at least have something to offer our offspring – a future. In our sick world all we can offer is uncertainty and death. I still feel that I did the right thing at the time. Can’t you recognise that?"
"Only in part Feyer. I guess that I’ve loved you for a longer period than your enhanced feelings toward me. I worship the fucking ground you walk on – you know. If a child had sprung out of our mutual attraction for each other it would have endorsed my love at least. You could have shared your torment because in effect I shared your guilt!"
"So you agree then Dean, that bringing a child into this world would be a fucking guilty action to undertake?"
"Yeah, but undertaking an abortion on the quiet also has a guilty stigma doesn’t it?"
"Look, as far as the abortion is concerned I’m sorry. If you place yourself in my position, you might have done the same."
"That’s a possibility I guess, but you’ll never fully know will you?"
The atmosphere noticeably cooled between the pair and Feyer didn’t quite know how to break the discomfort of her second terminal admission. It was Blackwell who eventually broke the awkward silence and carried their conversation further.
"What did you mean by final sacrifice?"
Feyer was initially stumped for words for once in her life.
"Well-er- if you get as low as-oh what the fuck, I don’t know!"
"Come on Feyer spit it out! I’ve got nothing but time!"
After regaining her composure, the woman continued.
"Robertson isn’t your average doctor Dean. He is skilled in germ warfare and in one of his cases he carries a spore that will wipe out the people in Europe for two thousand years! The contents of that case have to be activated in a type of autumnal wind that blows from a group of Islands to the west of Norway and from there it will spread a lethal pollution across the whole continent. We can’t win Dean! We can’t run forever, but at least this way we can take the bastards with us and hopefully isolate Satan in the process!"
"Sorry Feyer, first my chance of fatherhood is fucked up and then you recommend a form of mass suicide or murder! I’m going to need time to digest this – there aren’t any quick answers regarding your final sacrifice! I’m going to think things over and if I see you again with a hail of Uzi bullets as my greeting card, you’ll know that I’ve given Robertson’s plan the thumbs down. I’ll be seeing you."
As Blackwell walked away, Feyer was left to contemplate her situation. She had become so used to Dean Blackwell following her lead that she hadn’t thought he would weigh up the merits of the decision to be taken. His last remark had stung her most, as Blackwell had used the word i as one translation for Robertson’s plan and that drew a parallel with the MC-Project. The woman kept playing the association over in her mind, but after an hour she remained convinced that Plutura 26 B was still a moral cull of all that was evil in Europe. Feyer felt sure that he would come round to her way of thinking – he had to!
When Feyer saw Robertson later that afternoon she told him about what had transpired between Blackwell and herself. The doctor became quite ashen and then spoke.
"What you said has greatly worried me Feyer. You see if Blackwell breaks the news of our intetions to anyone else here, we will be executed immediately. It is true that this group of Avoiders don’t usually have a strict disciplinary code enforced upon them, but let us just pause for a moment and assess what our plan really represents to the non-committed. The End – that is your answer! If he breathes a word to the others we are as dead as the ranks of the wasted. When did he say he would get back to you with a decision?"
"He didn’t commit a time or place."
"Well in that context we can make his mind up for him with this!"
Robertson showed Feyer a bone – handled knife to signify his intent.
"No! We should wait – we owe him that."
"When I broke the specifics behind our plan to Clare Hines, she signed up in a matter of seconds. Her exact words were let’s do it and determination shone from her eyes!"
"Well I guess you think that a quick acceptance validates your choice as the correct one, but I still have faith in Dean nonetheless. He will commit after he has fully digested the implications of our plan. Hang fire with the knife. Dean Blackwell won’t break my trust in him."
"I’ll give him one more day Feyer, but then if you haven’t passed on his affirmative to me, I’ll kill him."
Feyer slept uneasily that night. Since arriving in the Avoider base Blackwell had always slept with her They had been given some sleeping space at the end of one of the tunnels that ran through the base and although the living conditions were once again very Spartan, they were tolerable for a couple who had grown to love each other. Feyer missed Dean’s strong arms around her. She understood that his absence was his way of coming to terms with the decision he had to make. The woman dreaded the implications surrounding Robertson’s deadline because she wanted death to embrace them simultaneously – after they had successfully completed their mission. To Feyer, Blackwell represented the perfect man to die with and she didn’t want Robertson’s knife to alter this realisation.
The next day raced by and the deadline imposed by Robertson elapsed, but Blackwell still hadn’t returned to the area where he and Feyer resided. She became worried that Robertson would find Dean before she did and so the woman headed for the recreation area where the pair had last met. The day was warm but overcast and this reflected Feyer’s pessimism as she searched for Dean.
As Feyer passed under some willow trees a familiar voice spoke to her.
"Is that single – ticket journey still on offer Ms genocide?"
"Dean! Fucking great to hear you! Where the hell are you?"
"Up here."
The woman looked upwards and saw Blackwell perched in the branches of one of the willow trees. He jumped down and gathered her up in his arms. The couple then tore into each other’s mouths as if it was the first time. After their kiss Feyer spoke first.
"Have you developed simian tendencies Dean?"
"No Feyer! Climbing high has been my way to contemplate since I was a kid. I can really focus on things if I escape this way. Up there I eventually saw the sense behind Robertson’s plan. European society is so fucking stained now that there’s no way back – there’s no rescue plan to save the situation. That dream is dead as you and Robertson realised. I guess that my conscription took longer to develop, but after reflection, it is the only way left. The few moral individuals that would die initially made me averse to Robertson’s plan, but now I’ve balanced this view by realising that the vast majority of people in this continent are our fucking enemies. In this context, the cause behind our fight is bigger than the last remnants of decent society. You were right, giving birth in this society would be like ushering a child into hell. I am in love with you and dying at your side will be an honour."
Feyer felt very relieved when Blackwell announced his decision and shortly after their meeting she managed to find Robertson. The woman stopped his pursuit before he had located his target and her re
lief was evident in her words.
"Your hunt is off Robertson. Dean is very much with us. It just took him a bit longer than the rest of us to reach that decision. I’ve just spoken with him."
Robertson had been primed for a confrontation, but Dean Blackwell would have effectively turned the tables on the older man if a fight had ensued. Robertson inwardly realised this factor and subsequently he was quite pleased at the nature of Blackwell’s decision. It didn’t stop him resuming his authoritative tone when all four group members met later that evening. The appointed venue was Blackwell’s sleeping quarters, set in the midst of the Avoider complex.
* * *
"This case effectively contains the end of Europe and I feel impelled to remind everyone that the nature of the contents stay with just the four of us. You will notice that the case has a combination lock attached to it. The relevant number is 6084277791 and it is impossible to get access to the contents without punching in these numbers on the electronic display panel. Please remember that this case and the contents by extension have been designed so durable that they can pierce the orbit! Once the case is opened, the glass cylinder is incredibly fragile. Please remember though that Plutura 26 B can only be effectively activated in the spiral winds."
Dean Blackwell asked Robertson a question.
"Do we just smash the cylinder on the floor Dr Robertson?"
"No. When you separate the cylinder from the case, you will notice a small detonation device underneath it. It is imperative that this is used because it launches the cylinder to a height of about ten metres before it explodes and shatters. If this is successfully completed the mutant spores will be released amongst the spiral undercurrent and the rest as they say will be history."
Robertson’s chosen three surveyed the case interior realising the magnitude of what lay on the table in front of them. After each person had visually registered the contents, Robertson spoke again.
"Later today Feyer and I will be blindfolded for an audience with the Avoider leaders and the route-finders who will assist us in reaching Norway. This Avoider pack are a dispersal-unit. They don’t function like other Avoider packs and serve to offer individuals or small groups a form of scattered freedom from where they can hide away and make a bid for survival on their own. Most of those who leave, return to their homeland and that will be our strategy. We will state that Feyer has family contacts in a pastoral area close to Oslo and we will subsequently ask the route-finders to research the safest way to get to Oslo. Their work is painstaking and it may take a few days before they have arrived upon a conclusion. We will never see the faces of those who are going to help us, but in a way I feel that is better. If Feyer and I weren’t blindfolded we would offer portraits of our helpers in our main MC-Vault and the project bastards could generate more wanted posters. In many ways this will be the hardest part of our mission, because those who are helping us will inevitably become innocent victims of the final solution that we are undertaking. This cruel irony shouldn’t deter us from our purpose though. People like the brave souls who are helping us are so rare that their collective loss is negligible when we kiss goodbye to Europe."
Robertson’s words were in Feyer’s mind when her blindfold was fitted over her eyes a few hours later. A subordinate of the dispersal-base leaders undertook this task and then she and Robertson were led to their appointment.
The atmosphere at the meeting was very supportive. There weren’t any austere voices or egocentric displays from those willing to help them and collective warmth exuded from the three people that were in charge of the dispersal base. Feyer obviously felt sorrow for the three as Robertson had expected she might do, but if anything this strengthened her resolve for the task ahead of the Avoiders. The closing address of the main speaker was almost prophetic in terms of relevance.
"Our route-mapping research will take a week to ten days and you should be ready to leave by mid-August in that context. Unusual weather conditions have been apparent in your chosen area of retreat this summer, but this temporary aberration will probably have returned to the proverbial mild climate synonymous with Norway, by the time you three leave us. We wish you good fortune in your escape and we hope that you can find peace. It is our collective opinion that all of us have but a short time left – enjoy that time."
Feyer and Robertson thanked their helpers and were then led back to Robertson’s sleeping quarters. The pair briefly talked about the meeting and then they individually went to locate Blackwell and Hines. Dean was pleased to see his partner but Hines was initially rather cold with Robertson as the woman felt that she should have gone to the meeting. A form of jealousy was starting to build in her and that didn’t bode well for a mission that needed to be underpinned by mutual respect if it was going to be successful.
The subsequent days were very enjoyable for Blackwell and Feyer as each respective day was entered into as though it were the last. The pair lost count of how many times they made love whilst they waited for the route-masters to reach a conclusion and those days effectively represented some of the happiest that both of them could remember. On the tenth day the Leaders summoned Robertson and afterwards he reported back to the other three.
"The route-masters have done their work and we go tonight folks! A freight train has undertaken a night journey to Oslo for the last four consecutive nights. The specific nature of the freight is unknown because each truck is covered with a loose-canvas hauling. The train doesn’t stop at stations, but it refuels just south of here. That is the location where we will board the train and hide amongst the freight. We will be in Norway in a shade over twenty hours. The weather is still very weird for this time of year and so all of us will have to wear our warmest clothing."
After Robertson had spoken, everyone made ready for the overnight journey and adrenalin shot-through their veins as they prepared. When the departure time drew near they were blindfolded for the last time and driven to the perimeter of the refuelling post. Upon arrival they fondly embraced the dispersal helpers and then when the vehicle drove away, they lay in wait for the freight train. They occupied a lofty vantage point on a small bridge above the rail track and their conceived plan involved them jumping into the freight trucks when the freight train pulled away from the refuelling post.
The four of them lay on the bridge in uniform silence until the train arrived. They said nothing for fear of attracting the attention of the personnel who fed the one-kilometre long train with diesel ready for the long-haul ahead. When they were done. The powerful engine belched a release of pressure and then it slowly started to pull away. The four of them waited for the first five trucks to pass under them and then Blackwell and Feyer made their leap. Robertson and Hines quickly followed suit, landing in different trucks.
As soon as Feyer contacted the light canvas covering, she fell inside the truck and received the shock of her life. An overpowering stench caused her to vomit within a matter of seconds and her left arm penetrated something glutinous. She screamed out for Blackwell to switch on his torch and when he did, a sight of death-camp proportions met their eyes! The contents of the freight train involved the rotting corpses of the wasted! Feyer’s left arm had passed clean through the stomach of one such corpse and she screamed at the horror pertaining to their situation. Blackwell then retched before joining Feyer in his own expression of disgust. Their fellow passengers in the freight truck looked like a scene from a zombie horror-flick and it was going to be a very long twenty hours!
The pair had discovered a new all time low point and then lightening started to cut forks into the evening sky to make matters worse still. The Avoiders had been informed about the untypical weather that was causing havoc across Europe, but they had never witnessed an electrical storm of such magnitude.
As the train tore through the night the lightning intensified and started to make contact with the ground on occasions. A lurid glare was given off as an electrical battleground ensued and pallid portraits of the dead flickered inside the f
reight trucks with each successive strike. Feyer lay slumped on the corpses of the wasted and directly opposite her a decomposing mother and daughter became an image that kept dominating the woman’s visual register. Eventually the couple proved too traumatic a portrait and Feyer flung her coat over the faces of the pair of them.
The long journey that the freight train was undertaking initially ran eastwards across Europe, before a sharp northward deviation would be undertaken. After speeding through several European countries, Norway would eventually be reached by following a westward direction. Blackwell and Feyer had been rendered silent bar their screams when they had landed amidst the corpses, but the woman eventually managed to speak to her partner.
"Hour after hour with these fellow passengers is going to be a new kind of hell Dean! I think I’m clean out of vomit!"
"Yeah! Robertson reckoned that this journey will involve a twenty-hour duration – how the fuck are we going to survive the stench for that long?"
"One consolation is that Robertson was wrong Dean. He kept quoting the journey time to Oslo! That city is down in southern Norway- hundreds of kilometres too far south! I expect that this fucking train will refuel again in northern Norway. We’ll make our departure at that point."
"Where do you think that the train will refuel then?"
"Bodo or somewhere close."
Feyer had rightly anticipated Bodo to be a refuelling stage. Her Norwegian roots had come into play in her deduction, because she knew that the long haul south would mean that the train would have to stop somewhere in the north for refuelling purposes. Her prediction would come to fruition, but not before the electrical storm became more deadly in terms of effect.
The Scream of Feyer: hitching a ride with a suicide bomber Page 11