“You have a son who needs you more. I’m sorry, but I agree with Mom. You need to get away from this place. Whatever is going on here, it’s not normal. You need to go home with us. Do you know what would happen to Mom and Dad if you were killed? Or if Ollie was? Do you know what it would do to Connor? I may not really care for him, but, Jor, he’s crazy about you. And I’m sorry, if no one else will say it I will. You’re being really, really selfish. You’re putting us all through hell right now.”
“Well I’m so sorry to hear that you’re suffering, Kate. As per the usual, your life sucks and my life is just grand!”
“Don’t get mad at me. I’m just saying that you need to come home, clear your head. I get that you want to feel like you’re doing something, but you can’t. You’re just one person, Jordyn. You aren’t thinking clearly, whether it’s this place or whatever else, you have to come with us.”
“That doesn’t fix it! Contrary to the popular belief in the world of Kate, running away from life’s problems doesn’t always make them disappear,” Jordyn snapped.
“What the fuck do you know about my problems?” Kate asked.
Realizing she’d struck a nerve without much thought, she sucked in a breath. “Nothing, forget it.”
“No, go on, big sis. Tell me about it. Tell me all about my life,” she said in an antagonizing tone. When Jordyn didn’t answer, she went on. “That’s right. You can’t! You don’t know anything about my life or my problems because you never bothered to ask.”
“Kate, that’s not true.” She saw the weight of the pain in her sister’s eyes.
“Yes, it is. You packed up and left home at eighteen and you never looked back. I was ten years old and I needed my big sister but you could never be bothered to be there. Never. You lived two towns over and you never made it home, not for my birthdays, not even for prom. You left me at home with two parents who hate everything about me because I’m nothing like you. You just left me to figure it out on my own.”
“I hardly left you, Kate. You were your own person. You’ve always been. Do it your own way and screw what everyone else thinks—”
“Because I had to be,” her sister screamed, thick tears in her eyes. “Because no matter what I did, Mom and Dad could never see me in your shadow.”
“That’s not true, Kate. They love you,” Jordyn whispered.
“Yeah, but how would you know anyway?” Kate wiped her eyes, eyeliner staining her cheeks. “You know, I may run away from my problems, but at least I admit when I have them.” With that, she stood up and left the room, shutting the door with a swift tug.
Jordyn, feeling more exhausted than ever, climbed up into her bed, promising herself that she would make it right with Kate later. Almost instantly, Jordyn fell into a deep sleep. Three hours later, Jordyn was awakened to the sound of her phone buzzing. She sat up in bed, wincing and rubbing her eyes. She moved her hands around the bed, searching for her phone. Finally, remembering where she’d hid it, she pulled it out from under her pillow.
“Hello?” she asked groggily.
“Jordyn? Oh thank God. I just heard what happened! How are you?” Carrie’s voice rang out over the line.
“Miserable,” Jordyn said. She rolled out of bed and made her way to the door, checking that no one was eavesdropping. She shut it back and crawled onto her bed once more. Even knowing no one was outside of the door, she kept her voice low. “Listen, I need to talk to you. It’s bad.”
“I was hoping we could meet up, actually. The whole group. It’s sort of urgent.”
“Everything okay?” Jordyn asked.
“Not now. Let’s meet where we did last, okay?”
“Okay, when?”
“Five minutes ago?” Carrie asked, her voice quivering.
The women hung up. Jordyn walked to her dresser and pulled out different clothes. She slipped them on carefully, ran a comb through her unwashed hair, and walked out of the bedroom. She could hear her family bustling around in the kitchen. She picked up her keys from the hall dresser and jumped at her father’s voice.
“Going somewhere?”
“Yes,” she said firmly, trying to find a jacket in the hall closet. “I’m going out.” She decided on the lighter one, sure to be the easiest on her wounds.
“Where to?” He crossed his arms.
“Out, Dad. I’m not sixteen years old, I don’t have to okay my plans with you.”
“I’m sorry, sweetheart. After last night, we aren’t letting you go anywhere alone. Your doctor said you can’t drive anyway, since he put you on pain pills.”
“Pain pills? I took an Advil hours ago, I haven’t had anything else.” Frustration oozed out of her as she attempted to slip on her jacket, minding her sore arm.
“Connor’s out if you want him to pick something up.”
“I want to go out myself.” She made her way toward the door.
Her father put his hand up. “Absolutely not. If you think for one second, young lady, that you’re getting out that door—”
“I’m an adult!” she bellowed, feeling like everyone in the house ought to be reminded of that fact.
“Well you sure as hell aren’t acting like one!” He pressed his hand into the door, refusing to let her open it, his face bright red.
“I’ll go.” A voice came from behind them.
“What? I said I want to go,” Jordyn said pointedly, turning to face her sister.
“I mean, I’ll go with you. I can make sure you aren’t hurting yourself or anyone else,” Kate said firmly, looking at their father. She nodded, as if trying to convince him it would be okay.
“No. I’m not doing this. I don’t have to listen to any of you. I make that car payment. Who are any of you to tell me—” Jordyn pulled on the door handle, trying to move her father’s hand out of the way.
“Enough.” Her mother’s voice ripped through the room. Ollie immediately began howling. “Now, Jordyn, we have tried to be nice about this, tried to help you, but if you continue to fight us, you will force our hand.”
“Meaning what?” Jordyn’s hand dropped from the door handle.
“Meaning we will call the police and tell them what we know.” She heaved a sigh, but her eyes softened. “We just want you, and those around you, safe. Now whether that means with us or behind bars, I guess that’s up to you. So you can either go out with your sister or you can wait for Connor to get home. That’s the end of the discussion. If you decide to leave this house alone you won’t get far, I can promise you that.” The truth of her statement burned in her expression.
Jordyn looked around the room. Her body shook with anger and sadness. She couldn’t remember a time when she’d ever felt so alone. “Fine,” she groaned, glancing at her sister. “But hurry up. We’re leaving now.”
***
When the women pulled into Carrie’s driveway, Allie and Erin’s cars were already there.
“Stay in the car,” she said firmly.
Kate shook her head. “Uh, no way. That wasn’t the deal. I’m going with you.”
Jordyn slammed the car door behind her, pounding her way up the concrete steps. She knocked once, then opened the door and walked in, not worrying about whether Kate followed her. The three women were standing around the kitchen table, talking in hushed tones.
“Hey,” Jordyn announced her presence, waving across the room.
“Oh God, Jordyn.” Carrie looked shocked when she saw her.
“You poor thing.” Erin said softly, her fingers covering her mouth.
“How are you holding up?” Allie asked, genuine concern on her face.
Before Jordyn could answer, the front door swung open again and the women’s eyes widened in fear as Kate entered. Erin gripped Carrie’s shoulder, and Allie stepped protectively in front of them.
“Sorry, guys. This is my sister, Kate,” Jordyn announced, her hands held up in an attempt to calm the group. When they visibly relaxed, she threw in, “She’s following me around now.”
/> The women were still uneasy. “Why?” asked Allie.
“Apparently after last night, I’m on twenty-four hour suicide watch. They won’t let me go anywhere alone. I had to put up a fight to even leave my house at all.” She decided not to mention moving just yet, still trying to figure out a way to make sure that didn’t happen.
The women pulled her into a hug. “That’s ridiculous.” “I’m so sorry.” They whispered their condolences. The room fell silent as their hug ended, all eyes on Kate.
“Does she know?” Erin asked.
“Yes.” Jordyn nodded. “I’ve told her everything. She, like the rest of my family, chooses to believe that I’ve lost my mind, but we can speak freely.”
Kate ran her fingers along the top of the recliner awkwardly, standing in the corner of the living room.
The women sat down at the kitchen table. “So, I guess you know the last child from the list died last night?” Carrie asked.
“What?” Jordyn sputtered. “No. Amber? No, I saved her.” Her mouth grew dry as she stared at the group.
Allie shook her head, a disappointed look on her face. “You tried to save her, Jordyn. She was on life support. Somehow the ventilator that was helping her breathe got unplugged last night. The hospital’s doing a full investigation.” She put air quotation marks around her last sentence.
“No way. You’ve got to be kidding me. Why didn’t anyone tell me? Surely it’s been on the news. That poor girl.” Jordyn’s head pounded. She rubbed her temples.
“Of course it has, but, Jordyn, listen. The girl before her, Cara, she died last night too. Her parents found her wrapped up in her blankets, suffocated.”
“Oh my God.” Jordyn covered her mouth, feeling as if she may throw up. She held her stomach in preparation. “The police?”
“Are saying it’s a tragic accident, of course,” Allie answered. “Two kids haven’t ever died in one night before. Not separately, anyway. Never. No one was expecting to lose Amber because no one knew that Cara was already gone. The List moves in order. This was sloppy work. If the police would actually do something, they’d probably be able to catch someone this time.”
“Yeah, you should’ve heard them questioning me about the fire last night. They basically asked my name and said ‘okay, we’re done here’,” Jordyn said.
Erin scoffed, placing her head in her hands. “Awful.”
“Typical. We’re on our own here, ladies, as usual,” Carrie said, staring at the table. “Actually, that’s why I called you all here. We have a bit of news that you should be aware of.” She looked up at them, her chest rising with a giant breath.
“Okay.” Jordyn did not like the anxious looks being passed around the table.
“I’m pregnant, Jordyn,” Erin said, her eyes cloaked in fear. Her hands were pale white on the table in front of her.
The words hit her like a gust of wind. For five seconds, she forgot about Bates and its problems. A wide smile grew on her face and she began to congratulate her new friend. All at once though, the look on Erin’s face struck her—world-shattering fear. Tears burned her eyelids. This was supposed to be a happy moment. In any other place, any other time they would’ve jumped for joy, hugged their friend, wished her well. Instead, they all sat in silence, each of their hearts as grief stricken as the other. Allie patted Erin’s back kindly. Erin’s hands came to rest protectively over her tiny belly.
“Oh, Erin.” Jordyn managed to put words together finally. “I’m so happy for you and I’m so so sorry all at once.”
Erin’s head bowed. “We always knew that we would love to have had children, if the situation was different. Not here, though, not like this. I’ve been on the pill for ages. We didn’t think this could happen.”
“Okay,” Jordyn thought aloud, “but, you’re safe for now, right? I mean, nine months. We have nine months.” She looked around the table, waiting for someone to reassure her. “That’s plenty of time for us to figure something out, right, guys? Surely they won’t hurt your baby before there’s even a baby to hurt. And we’ll just keep it a secret for as long as we can.”
Allie shook her head softly. “There are no secrets in Bates.”
Erin wiped a tear from her cheek, allowing three more to fall in its place. “She’s right, Jordyn. We couldn’t keep this quiet if we tried. I wish that you were right, but this changes things for me.”
“So, now what? You just quit? We all just quit? Pretend we don’t know anything? Keep letting children die while everyone in this town just looks the other way?” she asked, realizing what they were telling her.
“Of course not,” Carrie said, “Allie and I won’t give up. We’ve got no reason to anymore. But with the old List finished and the new List coming out soon, you and Erin should take a step back for a while. At least until we see what the new List says.”
“How can you say that to me? How can you even think about asking me to give up? Nothing has changed for me. I’m sorry, Erin. I understand what you’re saying and I won’t ask you to continue, but I won’t stop, List or no List. We’ll follow the rules, be careful, all of that. But nothing has changed for me.”
“There isn’t going to be a ‘careful enough’. Not now. I didn’t like putting your child at risk before, but now we’re putting two children on the line. I won’t have that on my conscience. I’m sorry, but the answer’s no. You can’t help us anymore.” Allie stared at her, her face firm.
“Once the new List comes out, we can talk again, maybe make a more permanent decision,” Carrie said gently, trying to ease the situation.
“By not doing anything, more children will die. Innocent babies. Someone’s children. Someone, somewhere turned their back and let your kids die.” She forced Allie and Carrie to make eye contact with her. “Are you all really okay with doing the same thing? If we can stop even one death, how can you even think about giving up? I’m sorry, but with or without you I won’t stop looking for answers.”
“We have no leads, nothing at all to go on,” Allie said. “It’s a fool’s errand at this point.”
“We have the first children who died. What about that? We were making progress with them,” Jordyn argued.
“If they were even buried here,” Allie said.
“It’s a start. We’ll do our research,” Jordyn protested.
Allie nodded. “Yes. We will. You won’t.”
“Do you guys actually hear what you’re saying? Do you understand how completely insane you all sound?” Kate’s shaking voice rang out from behind them. The group turned to look at her. She stood in the living room, her arms crossed, face stern.
“We know what we’re saying. We know it’s true,” Carrie said, her jaw dropped open.
“How could you possibly know that?”
“Because my family was killed for this secret, for revenge. My brothers, sisters, my daughters, Allie’s daughter. Our friends’ children. Children die in Bates. No matter how it sounds, it’s very true,” Carrie told her, a slight attitude in her voice.
Kate scoffed, searching their faces, “If this is some sick joke, it’s really not funny.”
“Do we look like we’re joking?” Erin, usually the most soft spoken of the group, said with anger in her voice. “Does it look like any of us are taking this lightly? Your sister is one of the bravest women we know. She has no reason to help us, yet she has tried. No one has ever tried to save this town the way she has.” She looked up at Jordyn. “No one. For my child’s sake, I hope that you can.”
Kate moved further into the kitchen. “Okay, say it is true. Why don’t you just go to the police?”
“Because whenever anyone does, their families are massacred,” Allie said plainly.
Kate’s eyebrows raised in disbelief.
“It’s true. My mother wrote an article a while after we moved to Bates, asking if anyone had noticed the large number of deaths here. It was before we knew about The List, the police, any of it. After that, they were all dead. Her children, he
r grandchildren. A mistake here costs you everything,” Carrie said.
“So then, leave.” Kate held her hand up toward the door. “Get out of here. Why would anyone stay?”
“Leaving won’t save you. It’s like a haunting. When you leave, you’re still fair game to the list makers.”
“Okay, so what were you doing to stop them, then?” Kate asked, still not looking like she truly accepted what she was being told.
“What? Do you believe me now?” Jordyn asked her sister.
Kate shrugged. “It’s a lot to take in, but it could happen, I guess.”
“We were trying to find out who died first, to try and see where it all started,” Erin answered.
“Okay.” Kate pulled out her phone. “Who died first?”
“No,” Carrie said. “You can’t use the internet here. They watch it. Phone lines too.”
“So what? They don’t know me. I have no kids. Or grandkids. What on earth have they got on me?” she asked, still holding her phone up.
Jordyn thought for a moment. “You know something? She’s kind of right. Maybe we can get our answers right now. Maybe this is it.”
Erin spoke up. “That’s what I thought too, though. I didn’t have any kids yet, so I was safe. Maybe I’ve already marked my child for death.”
“I don’t have kids. I won’t ever, in fact. I can’t. So, I have no reason to worry.” Kate smiled, though her face showed pain.
Jordyn turned to her, wondering why her sister had never mentioned this before.
“PCOS,” Kate answered the question Jordyn couldn’t ask. “No big deal. Let’s move on. Give me a name.” She tapped her phone incessantly.
“Peter Billson,” Jordyn spoke slowly, “Alexis Crider. Janice Lynch. They all died in the same month, a few days apart. As far as we know, they should’ve been the first to die.”
“All right.” Kate nodded, typing quickly on her phone.
“Before we say anything else, everyone shut off your phones,” Allie whispered.
The group did as they were asked, all eyes locked on Kate. Nodding as she read, she grabbed a notepad from the counter and jotted down notes. When she was finished, she shut off her phone. “Okay,” she said, “So the first boy, Peter Billson, suffocated in his crib. Police were convinced it was a murder. He was only a few weeks old. A few days later, Alexis Crider died. She was found locked in her parent’s freezer. She was three. Next was Janice Lynch, seven. She fell through her window and broke her neck.”
The List (The Carolina Killer Files Book 2) Page 13