***
When Melissa found herself sick with mono during the last semester of her senior year, he found it all too easy to forget to bring her assignments to her. It wasn’t necessarily that he wanted her to flunk, it was just that the thought of his life without her, even for a few months, made it hard for him to breathe. It would just be so much easier if she were in the same grade as him. He reasoned that after all was said and done, it would be worth it.
Of course, turning in a few late assignments and then not turning in any at all, was enough for the school to contact Melissa’s parents and for his secret to come out. In May, Melissa graduated with the intent to attend Vanderbilt University in Nashville, TN.
“It’s only a day’s drive away,” she promised him the night of her graduation. “I’ll come home all the time. We can even meet halfway sometimes. You can come visit me whenever you’re out of school.”
“It won’t be the same,” he said.
“It doesn’t have to be the same. Nothing can ever be the same forever, but that doesn’t change the way that we feel about each other, right?” She grabbed his hand. “Nothing will ever change that.”
***
For the first few months of her being gone, she was right. They called each other each night, catching up on their days. On weekends, they would meet and spend their days together. For fall break, she came home and they spent every waking moment together.
Christmas break was when things started to go wrong. Melissa arrived home the week before Christmas, but when he’d asked about seeing her she put him off, saying that she needed to visit with her family for a while. Her dad’s family was in town and they had a full house.
After two days without much contact, he drove to her house. The first thing he noticed about her was that she’d chopped off about six inches of the hair he’d loved so much. The second was that she didn’t look happy to see him.
Ordinarily, her eyes lit up a room when she was with him, but this time was different. She walked down the porch slowly, avoiding eye contact with him. He opened his arms, expecting her to jump into them, her lips to find his. Instead, she hugged him quickly. Her body felt stiff in his arms.
“I’ve missed you so much,” he told her, rubbing her hair. “What’d you do? It looks so good,” he lied. He hated her hair, missed the long and flowing locks from before.
She turned her head from him. “I’ve missed you too. How have you been?”
“The same. Ready to get away from here. To be with you.”
She sat on her porch steps, looking up at him finally. “We need to talk.”
Up until this point, Melissa had been the thing to distract him from his grandmother’s death. It wasn’t that he’d forgotten about it; it was more like a piece of eyelash in the corner of his eye. It was still there every day, painful and bothersome, but it wasn’t at the center of his vision now. He could live with it.
As she said those words, however, the pain and the loss, along with the very real possibility of him losing someone else all flooded over him at once. His stomach tied in knots as she spoke.
“There’s something you should know. It’s not…I’m not sure how to tell you without hurting you.” She writhed her hands together.
“Just tell me, please,” he begged.
She placed her hands on her stomach. “I’m moving home.”
“For college? You going here now?” Instant relief washed over him.
“No.” She shook her head. “I’m dropping out of college.”
“Oh,” he said. “Okay. That’s all? You had me terrified.”
“That’s not all.” She held her hand up. “I’m moving home because I’m pregnant.”
The world around him spun in circles. Her brown eyes were filled with tears. He’d always known he wanted to have kids eventually, but it wasn’t something he’d planned for years to come. Her hands shook as she rubbed her stomach.
“I’m so sorry, I just don’t know what to say. I feel terrible. I never wanted to hurt you, you have to know that. I love you so much. I’ll always love you. I never meant for any of this to happen.”
He stood up, placing a kiss on the top of her head. “Hey, it’s okay. Calm down.” He pulled her to her feet. “Please don’t cry.” He dropped her hands then, running back to his truck. Two months before, he’d spent a big chunk of the money his parents had left him on a diamond engagement ring. His plan was to propose at his graduation, in front of the town that had brought them together. Instead, he pulled the box from his glove compartment and held it firmly. He wanted nothing more than to be with Melissa forever, now more than ever.
He walked to her, his heart pounding, smile wide. He kissed her lips firmly and bent down on one knee, holding the box high. “Melissa Dowdy, I love you. I love you so much. I want everything with you, forever. I want a family with you. I want to grow old with you. I know this isn’t the perfect proposal, but I want you to know how serious I am about you and about us.” He placed his hand on her belly. “All three of us.”
Before she could answer, the screen door slammed and her parents made their way onto the porch. He smiled at them, noticing for the first time that no one was smiling back.
“I thought you understood,” Melissa cried, shaking her head. “I’m moving home to get married to the baby’s father.”
If he wasn’t already on his knees, he would’ve been then. “What are you saying?” Red-hot tears stung his eyes. Her parents turned around, walking back inside without a word. She pulled him up to face her.
“I met someone in Nashville. The baby is his. We’re going to get married in the spring. He’s moving home with me.”
“You were cheating on me? You swore nothing would change us!”
Tears poured down her face. She patted his shoulder. “Don’t you see? If we were meant to be together, this wouldn’t have happened. Besides, you’re just a kid. You’re barely even a senior. You still have so much ahead of you. A baby would only slow you down.”
“Don’t call me a kid.” He tossed her hand aside. “If you want to be with someone else, just own up to it. Don’t make excuses.”
“Aaron is a man. He’s twenty-five, settled. He can give our baby a life.” She looked at him. “I have to think about something other than what I want, don’t you see that? I never wanted this to happen. I swear I didn’t. I wish more than anything that it didn’t have to be this way.”
“It doesn’t,” he said, but she’d already turned around. She walked into the house without looking back, leaving him standing in the driveway. Leaving him alone, just like she’d sworn she never would.
He slammed the box shut, cursing loudly. He threw himself into his truck and peeled out of the driveway, throwing gravel in all directions.
***
Eight months later, he saw the birth announcement in the newspaper, ripping the bandage off of his still fresh wound. He hadn’t spoken to her in the months since her wedding, but he still saw her and her new husband around town. He was nothing impressive, this man she’d chosen to love. He’d gotten a job at the local hospital, but it wasn’t even like he was a doctor or anything. Just a receptionist, from what he’d heard.
After graduation, his grandpa had grown ill. He landed a job at the local telephone company to help around the house. It was decent money. He and his friends had learned how to cut into phone conversations, snickering loudly as they learned all of the gossip around town.
The night his grandfather passed away, something in him snapped. He was more alone than he’d ever been in his life, and as far as he could tell it was all her fault…or the baby’s rather. Things had been perfect for him before that baby came along.
He went to a bar with his friends after the funeral, a plan in his mind. He’d never been fond of the taste of alcohol, but he needed the liquid courage to make this work. Half past midnight, he drove to the house Melissa and her new husband had bought. It was out in the middle of nowhere, a rundown old place. She deserved so
much more. He’d been watching them for the past few days, learning where the rooms were. The baby’s room was in the back corner of the house. He parked his truck a block away, slipping his gloves on as he walked.
He slipped into the window with ease, eyeing the baby with disgust. They’d named him Peter. What an awful name it was. He imagined what he and Melissa would’ve named their own child.
The baby stirred, rubbing his eyes with tiny fists. For just a moment, he considered leaving, turning around and running home like this had never happened. It wasn’t really the baby’s fault, after all, but he’d learned what loss could do to a person. He’d learned firsthand how losing someone you love can destroy you from the inside out.
Loss, and the pain that comes after, were the worst possible punishments he could think of to punish the people who had hurt him. He picked up the pillow, wrapping it in the blanket that had been covering the baby and pressed it into his face. The baby squirmed, a muffled cry coming out. He pressed harder, careful not to press hard enough to leave a bruise. It was over in less than a minute. Carefully, he laid the blanket down and placed the baby on top of it, face down. The only fibers on the child’s lips would match the blanket. There’d be no signs anyone had ever been here. It would be ruled an accident. Exhausted parents who had made a terrible mistake by letting their child sleep on his stomach maybe. Either way, there was nothing implicating him.
He climbed out of the window, sliding it into place carefully. On the way back to his car, he allowed himself to cry over the child. It was an indescribable feeling, knowing that he had ended a life. His body shook with sobs, sadness, alcohol, and adrenaline.
Once he arrived home, he swore to himself he’d never cry over it again. He’d done what he had to and that was that.
***
The next morning, he woke up to a knocking on his front door. The officer addressed him quickly. “We’re investigating the murder of a four-month-old infant. Can you tell me where you were last night between the hours of twelve and five?”
He held the door open, unmoving. “My grandfather’s funeral was yesterday. Is this really necessary right now?” The sun burned his hungover eyes.
The officer furrowed his brow. “I know that, son, but an infant is dead. If you could just answer a few questions, we could be on our way.”
“Why don’t you just get on your way now?”
“Don’t do this. We’re here as a courtesy.” His face softened a bit. “I knew your grandfather well. He was a good man. I am sorry for your loss, but please don’t make this harder on us or yourself.”
He sighed. “I was at a bar. Gordon’s.”
“Can anyone confirm that?” the officer asked.
“Sure, anyone working. Half the guys I work with: Roy, Travis, Allen, Trevor, Kyle.”
The officer nodded, jotting down names. “And they can confirm that you were there the whole time?”
“Last call is at three.” He rubbed his hair. “So that’d be a no. I came home, passed out, and then woke up to your pretty face.”
His comment was ignored as the man continued to scrawl notes onto his pad. “All right, so can anyone confirm your whereabouts from three to five then?”
“Oh, why of course.” He paused, his blood pressure rising with every question. “Sure. I live with my grandpa, so let’s just ask him.” He paused. “Oh wait.” His feigning surprise only seemed to further annoy the officer. “If you’re done here and you’re not arresting me, I’m going back to bed.”
The officer didn’t respond. Finally, he shut the door in his face, turning around and heading back to bed anyway.
The sadness and guilt he’d felt the night before were gone this morning. Instead, his belly was full of something else entirely: lots of bourbon and lots of pride.
***
That afternoon, the police visited again. This time, they asked him to come down to the station with them. He followed them, stating that he had to go to work after. They asked the same questions. Where were you? Can you prove it?
“I’ve already told you guys this, all of this. I’m trying to be cooperative, I really am, but it’s not fair. I’m grieving.”
“Melissa Billson is grieving too. Her husband is grieving,” the female officer snapped. “And they seem to think you may have had something to do with this.”
This time, the shock on his face was completely genuine. “Melissa thinks I would hurt her family? How could she? I could never do something like this! She knows what she means to me! I would never do anything to hurt her.”
“How much?”
“Huh?”
The officer leaned forward. “How much does she mean to you?”
“She means everything. Always has. I just want what’s best for her,” he lied.
“Her babysitter, Cecilia Benson, also said she’s seen your vehicle traveling down the dead end road the Billsons live on throughout the day.”
“It’s a small town,” he reasoned. “There aren’t a whole lot of streets. I haven’t spoken to Melissa in months, truth be told. I’m not even sure I know where she lives. I don’t know Cecilia Benson. If I’ve driven down a certain road too many times, I can promise you it’s merely coincidence. I love Melissa more than anything, I’d never want to hurt her.
The officer sat up, his eyebrows raised. “You said love. You love Melissa.”
“That’s right,” he confirmed.
“She tells us you’ve been broken up for almost a year now. Don’t you mean loved?”
He looked down at his hands, then back up at the officer, his anger rising. “No,” he said simply. “I meant love.”
***
After he left the station, he realized his plan would need a few revisions. He had to make sure that the eyes of this town were no longer on him. He smiled proudly, realizing his new scapegoat had placed her pretty little self right in his lap.
It was true. He’d seen her babysitting several kids in town. Everyone knew her because of her father’s store, so he supposed she must be well trusted. That had to change, and he was going to make sure it did.
That night he followed Cecilia, watching her as she went to the Crider’s house. He didn’t know the family well, but he had seen Cecilia with their young girl often. She truly seemed to care about her. All the more reason for her to be the one, he thought. He watched Cecilia sneak that creepy teacher, Mr. Kautz, into the house when the parents left. It disgusted him.
The next day, he set his plan into action. He spent an entire evening watching the Criders, and then once all the lights in the house were out, he made his move. Another Bates child would die tonight and, if he did his job right, all signs would point to Cecilia.
***
A few days after Amber Crider’s funeral, they arrested Cecilia Benson, and he felt as if his plan had worked out perfectly. The next day, he went to work for the first time since his grandfather’s funeral. He sat at the station staring into space, hardly listening to his headset. He couldn’t think about work. His mind was still on Cecilia, imagining what prison would do to her. Thinking quickly, he snatched up a call going into the police station.
“Chief, her alibi checked out. The doctor just confirmed it. There’s no way she’s our girl.” He sighed. “We’re headed back now.”
The chief cursed. “So, where are we at then? What now?”
“Honestly, my money’s still on the boyfriend,” the officer said.
“Benson’s boyfriend had no motive, even if he was a creep.”
“No, I mean Melissa Billson’s ex-boyfriend. Kid gives me the creeps.”
The chief was silent for a second. “Let’s talk about it more when you get here. Just hurry back.”
The phone call ended and he sat back in his seat in disbelief. How could this be happening? He’d set everything up perfectly. He’d been careful, left no evidence that he’d been there. But even still, they were suspicious of him and he had no true alibi for either night. This had to stop, he realized, and h
e had to stop it.
***
By the next day, he was ready to set his plan into motion. He emailed the chief of police in Bates using an email account that he’d set up through a phony server. He’d set it up so that his signal would bounce from tower to tower, making the email completely untraceable, but just in case he used an old Blackberry he bought from a pawn shop. As soon as the email was sent, he’d destroyed the phone.
The email was simple:
The Billson infant’s murder investigation is over. No more questions, no more digging. You will see that this happens or Janice dies. Your move.
He’d pressed “Send” with confidence, sure that this would indeed be the end of it. For the next two nights, he awoke multiple times from awful nightmares, terrified that he’d heard pounding on his door, afraid that they’d somehow found him out. His fears were unfounded, of course, as he soon realized the cops had moved onto their next suspect. Turned out, the cops arrested Cecilia’s boyfriend, and former teacher, Brian Kautz. While he felt relieved that he seemed to be off the hook for now, he was sure it wouldn’t be long before he’d need to worry again. Furious that they’d ignored his commands, he saw this only as a test of his strength. The girl would have to die, but he couldn’t risk doing it himself again. Instead, he’d find someone else to do it for him; someone he could threaten into doing his bidding.
As the months passed, he began listening in on more and more phone calls, as if it were an addiction. The integration of text messaging into society was like a gift to him, making it easier than ever to hack people’s conversations. He found people in the local government and doctor’s offices that were willing to give him news in exchange for their own children’s safety. He made it his mission to enforce every rule he ever laid out. All it would take was one moment of weakness for the town to see him quiver in his authority, and his empire would crumble down as quickly as he’d built it, quicker even. He could never let that happen, never be weak again.
The List (The Carolina Killer Files Book 2) Page 19