“Don’t push your luck, wolf,” she told him, holding tighter to the doorframe, so she didn’t give in to the urge to crawl into that mountain of blankets with him.
He opened his maw, flashing his glorious fangs at her, and chuffed. Lupine chuckles.
She was the one pushing her luck. And her sanity.
Deck 4 Dealings
Please don’t notice me, please don’t notice me…
Commander Bennett had been running laps for a while, apparently, based on the amount of sweat sliding down his spine. He was fit and toned under his shorts and loose, battered-looking shirt. She’d never seen him out of his uniform, and hadn’t expected to see a human rival Rainer’s physique, but Bennett took his body as seriously as Rainer took his. Like many human males, he was laced with a patchy, light coat of dark hair from ankle to shoulder (and presumably everything in between), and a finger-width scar cut a hairless trail from the outside of his left ankle, across his shin halfway to his knee, and back around his calf, and distinctive dots of large-gauge stitch scars patterned the side of the leg.
He ran just fine on it, and the scars were white and long-since healed.
The First Officer preferred to exercise in the regular gyms, rotating through them and working out with anyone there. It made him popular and accessible. Rainer, Tsu, and Keenan were far more aloof.
Personally, working out alone sucked. Running alone was fine. Except she couldn’t run. She had exhausted herself just getting to the gym. The gravity-enhanced track limited her to a slogging walk. Without a spotter, weights were out of the question. Not with her shallow and high heart rate. She’d drop something on herself. Ark etiquette was just ask the person next to you. On NightPiercer it didn’t matter what the etiquette was, she knew her place: in the corner and grateful she was in the life support calculations.
Bennett circled one more time, then dropped to a walk beside her. “Lachesis.”
“Commander,” she replied, trying not to pant. Not being able to walk without panting was pathetic.
“Glad to see you up and about.”
“Thank you.” She eyed him up and down, trying to decide if humans found him attractive. From the attitudes of her bunkmates, it seemed the First Officer was respected and liked, while Rainer was the rough-handed master of Engineering any sane member of the crew should seek to avoid.
First impression of Bennett had been the asshole who had shown up in Security trying to ply her for information instead of releasing her from her cell like the Captain had ordered. Her bunkmates’ thinking Bennett was an upstanding member of society? Not entirely accurate. If Rainer hadn’t shown up, Bennett probably would have left her there to rot in Gribbons’ company.
He stank primarily of sweaty male, and the rest of the not-sweaty part she didn’t like. He could ignore her. He’d been ignoring her. He could just keep ignoring her.
Bennett asked, “How are you settling into your new bunk?”
“Fine,” she said. Then she added, “Thank you for finding it on short notice. I’m sure it wasn’t very convenient.”
He shrugged. “Operations rarely is.”
If she passed Operations and got a commission (Gaia spare her), she’d be stuck under his thumb the rest of her life. Hopefully there’d be ten levels of reporting between her and him because she’d be condemned to middle-management hell.
“The Captain mentioned you were taking the Operations entry exam.”
Oh, Tsu had mentioned it to the head of Operations? Fat chance it had just dropped into casual conversation. “He insisted.”
“Do you see yourself having a career in Operations?”
If he was in charge of it? “No, but like I said, Captain Tsu insisted.”
A single chuckle and a brief flash of a grin across his lips. “I don’t like people in my section that don’t want to be there, but the Captain insisted I try to see the value in you.”
That one flicker revealed something she did not like. Trying not to be wary, she said, “Is that what we’re talking about?”
“Is what?” he asked like a man who knew exactly what conversation they were having.
She played along. “That you don’t want me in your section more than I want to be in your section. Are you asking me to throw the exam?”
He chuckled. “Blunt. Very blunt. I also like my reports to have some tact.”
“I’m not at my most tactful when I’m in the gym.” She was barely walking and her fingertips were numb, white-gray, and puffy. Bad sign? Might be a bad sign. Although it was cold in here. Hell.
Bennett said, “How about I offer you an alternative to being in a section that doesn’t interest you?”
She stopped walking. Those sounded like some magic words.
He half-smiled. “Do I have your attention?”
He didn’t smell like anything except typical macho smugness. Whatever he was about, he was pretty convinced it was as glorious as those fish Rainer had laid at her paws.
“Captain Tsu insisted I see the value in you,” Bennett tried again, “so I’ve been thinking about it, and had a thought that would make better use of your abilities than managing algae vat Crew rotation schedules.”
“I’m listening.”
Someone was just about to come onto the track. One look from the Commander and they turned around on their heel and disappeared back behind the decorative wall. He swung his attention back to her. “You don’t want to be Operations. It’s not for everyone, and in the spirit of bluntness, you’re not suited for it. Captain Tsu just has limited options on what to do with you. You’ll be wasted on Crew, and based on what I’ve seen out of Medical, you’re going to need a new heart eventually if you want a normal lifespan.”
The blood drained out of her face. “They told me my heart would recover.”
Bennett shrugged. “Never a certainty with AGRS.”
“I’m not getting a new heart. We know that.” She tried to keep her voice steady. Forrest had said her heart would recover from the AGRS.
“There are ways. You won’t last long on Crew, even if we wave you through Medical.”
“Ways to get a new heart?” she asked doubtfully. Replacement organs could be vat-grown or from donors. Hearts and lungs were the hardest to come by. They were for officers like Rainer and Bennett, or mothers with very young children.
“Or extend your remaining lifespan to its fullest potential. So I’ve been studying your file and thought of an alternative.”
Alternatives. From her husband’s rival. Wasn’t this a lovely game of werewolf-in-the-middle. Bennett was human, so he wouldn’t be able to smell anything except her sweaty funk. All she needed to do was keep her body language open. “I’m guessing you haven’t mentioned this to Rainer.”
“I don’t see what this has to do with him.” He gestured with his head for her to follow him.
“I’m technically still married to him.”
“Technically.”
One didn’t let prey get away, even if it had bad idea all over it. She’d gone from being Rainer’s pet guppy to the stray that he left food out for and tried to lure into the house. Bad ideas and good opportunities were relative.
Bennett led her down the stairs to the main level. He pulled off his comm and flicked it in his palm to show it to her.
Oh, this was not a good idea. This was not a good idea.
She took off her comm anyway.
Bennett led her out of the gym. His body steamed in the cool air of the corridor. She shivered. Nobody paid them any attention: people coming out of the gym sweaty and headed to a shower was typical for this area. She followed behind him, but not too close so people didn’t think they were together-together, just he was dragging Lachesis, the errant moron, somewhere again.
He led her down a snakework of short corridors that ended at a short, stubby hallway capped by a door to long-term storage. Bennett’s smell was all over it. So this was where he had off-the-record conversations. Rainer probably had his favorite
spot for this kind of thing too.
Bennett moved close, circling and pushing her backwards, blocking off an easy escape. She let it happen, not wanting to antagonize him too much. His smell didn’t seem more aggressive than usual, just satisfied with the situation. He also smelled like sex, but so did almost every other male she’d ever met. He was sweaty, a bit hungry, all the usual things she expected.
She prompted, “I’m here and I’m listening.”
“Why did you really leave him?”
“Are we back to this again? First it was what is he really about, and now why did you really leave him?”
“I think the answer to the latter is also the answer to the former.”
“I left to get some space. You should try it. Get away from me.” He was too close, but she didn’t dare lay a hand on him. “This isn’t the conversation I agreed to have.”
“Don’t be rude. I want to know what Rainer is really up to. You know his secrets.” Bennett’s lips curled. “So share them with me, and you don’t have to go back to him.”
“Tsu has already promised I don’t have to go back to him,” she snapped.
“And where are you going to go? We just had this conversation. I’m not giving you an Operations commission, and you won’t get into Crew. And I don’t think you want to be in those twenty-four bunks.”
“I’ve been in them before,” she said coldly. “I’m no hot-house flower.”
“No, but the crew isn’t taking to you. That’s why you don’t eat in the mess hall, isn’t it? A wolf forced to eat alone? Is there really a greater shame than being ostracized from sharing food? Unless it’s your mate abandoning you.”
A shock ran through her nerves. “Mates don’t exist.”
“Just reciting some old werewolf nonsense,” he said. “Although sometimes I wonder what Rainer believes.”
She refused to take the bait. “You make it sound like you’re the one who told the crew I’m persona non grata.”
“Is that Latin?” He brightened instantly, grinning. “Rainer been quoting old Earth-isms at you?”
“No, I knew that one,” she said. “So it is you.”
Now he laughed. “I wouldn’t waste my time. Your charming personality does all the work.”
This asshole. “This isn’t the conversation I agreed to have, so get to the point or fuck off.”
“I’m getting to that, but first I want to know what Rainer is really about. He’s told you, hasn’t he.”
“Rainer hasn’t told me anything.”
“Rainer’s fascinated with you. I think Rainer barely remembers the names of his first two wives, but you. Oh, you he’s fought to keep. Makes me wonder what’s going on in that feral brain of his. What he sees that he’s willing to throw everything away for.”
She refused to say anything, or break eye contact.
“You know your marriage isn’t how things work. He’s told you his secrets to appease you, hasn’t he? That’s why you left him. Because the weight of all those secrets is too much.” Bennett lowered his voice and eyed her, his scent changing to something she didn’t like.
“You still aren’t telling me why we’re talking,” she snarled.
“You can walk away from him.”
“Obviously. In fact, I’d say I’ve already done that.”
“You know exactly what I’m suggesting.”
She recoiled inwardly, and outwardly raised her chin, a tremor of fear shaking her body. She rasped, “And I could be with you?”
“Exactly.”
She almost laughed, except nothing about his scent smelled like a joke. “Do you have the pull with Crèche to make that happen?”
A slow grin and he shifted closer. “I do.”
“You hate wolves.”
He sighed, exasperated, his breath pulsing against her cheek and teasing stray strands of hair. “I don’t hate wolves. That would be too much effort. I’d prefer a human spouse, but I know Crèche is going to marry me to a she-wolf because that’s how it works ninety-nine out of a hundred times. We have to focus on forging those family ties between species so we don’t kill each other.”
“But you don’t like wolves,” she whispered. Her heart started to beat too fast, and it had to skip every third beat.
“You’re a charming exception.”
And you’re utterly revolting. She tried to move, found her limbs wouldn’t budge.
Bennett continued talking. “Keenan isn’t enthused about this entire debacle and wouldn’t need much convincing to swap you to me. A nice respectable human-wolf marriage, just like everyone is used to.”
“It’s just convention,” she said, voice shaky. “It’s not needful.”
He pushed his hand under her jaw and forced her to look up at him. “I’m going to be Captain, I need to be married. I have an uneasy relationship with the wolves of this ship, helped in no way by Rainer and I being at odds the past fifteen years. Having you, a fierce she-wolf with a reputation for being… of her own mind… at my side will bolster my standing with the wolves and keep Rainer in check. You left him. You chose me.”
She tried to get out of his grip, but her damaged body still couldn’t move through the shock he’d woven over it. He’d use her to destroy Rainer. The notorious feral that had clashed with Rainer, literally fought him in the market, then walked away from him and chose to marry his mortal enemy instead. The humans wouldn’t care, but Rainer would be forever diminished by the loss. And if Bennett ever let it slip she’d been a cull? That not even a cull had wanted him? Rainer would be completely ruined and toothless.
Bennett added, “I’m sure you can learn to be the perfect officer’s wife. You clearly have learned how to tuck your tail between your legs and creep into a dark corner to avoid further beatings. And if all that Crèche training of yours wants you to have Rainer’s genetic offspring, fine, let the wolf get you pregnant. I don’t think we should be breeding all that Omega blood together, but I’d do it for the satisfaction of raising the pup he never wanted anyway.”
“You know he’d have to fuck me the old-fashioned way to accomplish that, right?” she said.
Bennett smirked. “I’m practical. You’re practical. Rainer is the one who isn’t practical. I’ve known Rainer his entire life. He’s only a few years my junior. He has never wanted a wife or family, and him insisting he wants you back has nothing to do with him wanting you. You’re his possession, and he’s a male wolf that likes to win. It’s that stupid and that simple. You’re the trophy that won’t be a good little trinket and stay on its shelf, like those rocks he has in the hallway.”
The words stung.
“How hard is he working to get you back? Are you foolish enough to fall for all his efforts? Don’t be, and don’t fall for the feral flattery. He hates to lose the prestige game. Once he gets you back, he’ll put you on the shelf with all his other trophies. I’m offering you a useful life as the Captain’s wife. I’m honest. Is Rainer?” Bennett’s amusement at her dismay suffocated her.
Yes? No? Maybe?
Bennett prodded forward, sticking fingers deep into her wounds. “If you trusted him, why did you leave? Or did you leave because he was too honest?”
She didn’t reply to that either, but she didn’t need to. Bennett kept talking. “That’s the other thing about Rainer. If he can’t spin the truth to his own purpose, he’ll just use it like a blunt object, counting on whoever is listening to be shocked enough by the truth to just go along with him. Did he show you what lives under his fur?”
Bennett’s scent became a strange cocktail of desire mingled with hunt and violence and ambition and piss—the desire to subjugate another male to his will. Bennett wanted to win too. Not dissimilar to Rainer, but Rainer’s scent thrilled her when he was out on the hunt, that he meant to get what he wanted, that he wasn’t afraid of what he had to do to get it.
The First Officer leaned very close.
Every joint and muscle froze. She couldn’t even breathe. Her ribs woul
dn’t lift, her diaphragm wouldn’t move. Just the strange tingling of her adrenal system dumping stress endorphins into her system, building up a pressure inside her that she could not move.
He stopped inches away, his breath against her face, so close she saw every detail in his irises, the texture of his skin, the shadow requiring daily shaving, the individual follicles of his brows and hairline. “Run all the options through that brilliant puzzle-solving mind of yours and let me know what you come up with. We both know Rainer is up to something. Tsu trusts him but,” Bennett bent lower, his lips by her ear, and whispered, “you and I both know that’s foolish. You can stop him, Lachesis, and I can help you.”
Inconvenient Dead Bodies
Bennett walked away.
She collapsed back against the wall, panting, her heart skipping. She staggered after him, bracing herself with one hand on the wall. She stumbled from hallway to hallway. Her heartbeat increased, stress pumped through her system.
Rainer is dangerous.
You can stop him, Lachesis. I can help you.
Tell me what he’s doing, Lachesis.
She staggered blindly back to her bunk, fell through the door, dragged herself upright, and crawled onto her bed.
The skipping sensation and rapid stumbling pace of her pulse remained.
Keenan had wanted to euth her. Mop it all up. Make it go away. Keenan didn’t want her married to Rainer. Bennett provided a perfect solution to an ugly, embarrassing problem for the Crèche Commander. And a good solid final FUCK YOU to Rainer.
Bennett telling her she wasn’t cut out for Operations and she couldn’t pass the Crew medical was news to exactly no one, and his prerogative. Offering her a choice of marriages? Heck, that was better than the non-choice that had brought her here. Nobody got to choose a marriage situation. Crèche issued orders, and you dealt with it.
At most, Tsu would tell Bennett to knock it off. At worst? Tsu would think his First Officer offering himself as a solution to the Lachesis Problem was serendipity.
Separated Starlight (NightPiercer Book 2) Page 3