The Librarian

by Christy Sloat

  Did Harold find a way to travel through time? It was possible. It was also possible that the answers lie in one of the many books on the shelf behind me. As bad as I wanted to scour them and find out, I was dog tired and needed a break from this library.

  I left the room and kept the door open, just in case. I locked Gram’s office and headed upstairs. The house was still empty so I called Rose. She answered in hushed breath.

  “Did I catch you sleeping?”

  She sighed and said, “No. I’m at a guy’s house.”

  “A guy? What guy would that be?” I teased. I’d caught her in the act of an indecent situation and I would revel in it. Rose was always the one who was shy about her relationships. She never talked about boys when we were young or sex when we got older. She was the modest one out of the both of us, but now I’d turned into a boring librarian. I hadn’t been with a guy in months, and I decided Rose’s love life was now a huge interest to me.

  “Oh please, don’t make this a big deal, Emme. I swear I’ll kill you.”

  I laughed and said, “I swear I won’t. Are you hiding in his house? Where is he?”

  “I’m in the bathroom. I’m so embarrassed, Emme. I didn’t mean for this to happen,” she sighed. “He’s only asked me out a thousand times, so I figured one date won’t hurt, right? Well that date turned into…sex.” She whispered sex like it was a dirty word.

  “Good for you, Rose. You’re turning into a little vixen; I like it.”

  “He’s so hot, Emme. What the hell am I gonna do? We work together!”

  I grabbed a cookie and munched on it while I thought about what I would do if I had been in her situation. I realized what I would have done was left the house right then and there. I wouldn’t have considered the situation awkward at all. Being around him wouldn’t have bothered me. But Rose, she was different.

  “My best advice is to stay where you are and talk to him about it. He isn’t married, right?”

  “Oh God, no! What do you think I am?”

  “Okay, calm down. I was just making sure,” I said with a laugh. “Wait for him to wake up and have breakfast. Things don’t have to be difficult or awkward. Relationships in the workplace work out all the time.”

  “That’s really grown up advice. Thanks, Emme.”

  “Sometimes I can be a grown up. Now go back to bed and do something dirty with him,” I half joked.

  She laughed and said bye. I hung up the phone with a smile on my face. Good lord, I needed to leave this house. I grabbed my purse and my credit card; time for a shopping trip.

  Ten

  Instead of going to the new stores, I went to the original shopping stores in town and splurged on a purse, new shoes, and a bunch of updated stuff for the house. I felt it needed some updated items in the kitchen and bathroom. There were paintings for my room and for the kitchen that I found. If I was going to live there, it needed some beauty. It wasn’t exactly drab, but the ’70s’ style was killing me.

  Becca was working at the coffee shop today, so I slid inside, avoiding a huge gust of wind and snow. I pulled my scarf off of my neck and hung it on the coatrack. Becca gave me a little wave and I smiled.

  “Coffee and a Danish again?” she asked as she pulled her long hair up into a quick bun.

  “Yes, please.”

  She made my coffee and, because it was dead, sat at a table with me. Hanging with Becca was easy. She was a very likable girl.

  “So, what’s the deal with the library?” she asked abruptly.

  “Sorry?”

  “Is it ready to go? Do you need help getting it ready?”

  I smiled and set my cup down. “It’s as ready as it’s ever gonna be. I’m just not really thrilled that I have to take care of it. But a promise is a promise.”

  She shook her head and said, “That’s admirable and all, but you have to live your own life too, Emme. What happens when you finish your schooling? Do you put off your dreams due to a promise?”

  I shrugged. “I really don’t know. I do know that I promised her that it would be me taking care of it.”

  Becca’s family wasn’t really close, not like I was with Gram. Her mom made her life hard, and she was the type of girl who ached to be free of this town and shake off her roots. I was like that too. Yet, now, I was stuck here again; although, I didn’t long to leave like I had before.

  “Do you have a boyfriend in California?” she asked, changing the subject.

  “No. I had guy friends who were more than friends, if you could call it that. But I don’t do the whole relationship thing.”

  She laughed. “What do you have against them?”

  That was the thing. I had nothing negative to say about them, really. Relationships were good for some people, just not for me.

  “I never wanted to be held down to someone. I would have to graduate and leave them, and I didn’t want the complication.”

  “You just haven’t met the right guy is all.”

  I pondered this for a moment. If I met the one, would I long to be with them all the time? Would it feel similar to what I was feeling for Jack?

  I watched my parents’ marriage as a child, and I had nothing bad to say about relationships when it came to my views. There were many happy people around me; I just never wanted to be one of those dependent women. I wanted to be able to travel and see the world. When I put my career in front of everything else, even family, I lost the only family I had. I wasn’t around for the past year of her life. Had I known how sick she really was, I would have come home.

  The truth was that when I looked back on my schooling, I felt sick. I felt regret for missing Gram’s life and for not spending that time with her.

  Getting close to someone would mean losing them eventually. And getting close to a man in a book meant I was going crazy. But the more I thought of him the more I longed to know him. The more I longed to do what I tried so hard to prevent in my life: let him in.

  “Oh, no.” I realized my mistake of saying it out loud and hoped Becca didn’t catch it.

  “What? Did you meet someone? You did didn’t you?”

  I shook my head hoping that she would give up and move on. But of course, she didn’t. She pressed and pressed until I had no choice but to burst.

  “I met a guy named Jack. It’s really complicated.” My hands clenched the coffee cup, and I hoped she would be satisfied with my answer. Of course she wasn’t.

  “Oh man. Tell me all about it. I live for hearing this stuff. I can’t meet one decent guy in this town. I will live vicariously through you and Jack.”

  It was so true. This town held no wonderful catches except for if you were fishing out at the dock. The men here were in love with the sea, and they spent all their time with her.

  “Who’s Jack?” Tarryn asked as she came up to us and sat down. “A guy?”

  Oh crap. I was in trouble now.

  “Jack is an unattainable guy. It’s not really even worth talking about, trust me.” Please leave it alone. Please, for the love of God.

  “What makes him unattainable? Is he married?”

  Of course they weren’t going to let it be, were they? No, because that was girls for you. Girls were catty and lived for gossip; trust me I am one. I used to live through my roommates’ stories too. But there wasn’t anything I could say to them that would make any sense. I couldn’t tell them that I met a great guy in a book and couldn’t wait to see him again. I’d lose them as friends, and I’m sure Tarryn would move out. No one needed to know my secret. It would be nice to tell someone. I wished I could spill about my travels to meet Jack and tell them about the book, but I had to stay quiet.

  “He’s not married. He lives far away. So it won’t work out. You know, long distance and all,” I said with a shrug.

  “Th
at’s too bad. Not enough good men around here. Those that are, are already taken or moved away to a warmer climate. Like Florida,” Becca said. “I’d love to just make a perfect man and plant him right here in Maine. I think I need to move.”

  I smiled. Becca deserved a nice guy. I wished I could find someone for her as I could see the loneliness in her from the first time I met her.

  “We’ll find you someone, Becca,” I told her as I patted her hand. “How about you?”

  Tarryn made a sour face and shook her head. “I’m good. I don’t date. I don’t have time for drama.”

  I heard that.

  “Tarryn broke up with her ex, Fisher, last year. She had a ton of drama, that’s for sure.”

  “Don’t talk about me like I’m not in the room, Bec. Fisher’s mom hated me. So it made the relationship hard.”

  She rolled her eyes and turned to me.

  “Who could dislike you?” I asked seriously.

  “I’m not your average girl. I like punk music, and I don’t care for snooty adults who try to control their son’s every mood. Let’s just say I’m a mother’s worst nightmare.”

  I could see that in Tarryn, not the nightmare part, but the part where she didn’t like fake people. I could also see that she was delightful, funny, and caring. Any guy would be lucky to have her.

  I had so much more work to do back at the library, so I excused myself from the coffee shop and headed back home. Tarryn and Becca had plans with their mom, and that gave me time to delve into the secret room and learn as much as I could about The Librarians’ secret lair. In all honesty I did want to go back to Jack. But after talking to Tarryn and Becca, I wasn’t sure if doing that was a good idea. I didn’t want to grow attached to him. I needed to focus on my life here.

  My grandmother’s promise was tying me here, and I needed to cut the ties as soon as I could. If I kept seeing Jack, I wasn’t sure if I would be able to stop. The fact was I was growing some sort of feelings for him. Feelings were bad. They never ended well.

  Me and feelings did not mix well together. And that meant I had to stop traveling through the book for good.

  Eleven

  It was hard enough putting Jack’s book back into the floorboards, but staying out of the library’s secret lair was impossible. I had too many questions. Too many mysteries surrounded these Librarians. So that’s why the night before the library re-opened, I spent my whole night inside the hidden room while Tarryn was out partying like an eighteen-year-old should.

  I sipped a cup of tea and read as much as I could about these ladies. I learned more than any college could teach me about this subject, and my head hurt. I wasn’t any closer to understanding why these women traveled through books, but I did know that they all did. They were a secret society of Librarians stationed all over the East Coast, and they traveled through books and time.

  Yes. They traveled through time. In the past, not ever the future.

  Their time was defined by books. Books written based on real people. So Jack was real, not fictional. Huge bonus for me and my sanity, but if he was real, that meant he was dead and gone by now. Long gone.

  Each Librarian had a formula written that helped them travel. I’m not unconvinced that Harold Lockhart had tons to do with that. He was a scientist, and I know that he was with Grace when she traveled to Jack’s time.

  I wasn’t sure how he could have helped them all, but if he could travel, that would mean he could go to their time period and help write the formula.

  And there was another thing; all these women were my relatives. Yep. They were all my family. Family I’d never meet, but still, they were somehow related to my bloodline. They were Baileys.

  Jenny Bailey. Alice Bailey-Carter. Laura Bailey.

  Grace Bailey.

  I put the teacup down and pulled the picture out of them all. I didn’t see any resemblance, but there was one thing that pulled my eye to the photo. I pulled the light closer to make sure. I saw it there.

  Each woman had a ring, brooch, or necklace that was the same as my great-grandmother’s ring. Rose gold leaves surrounding a round cut diamond. Everything about it was exact, except for the way it was worn. That seemed to depend on the wearer.

  Now, it was a ring. The same ring my great-grandmother Grace wore on her right hand.

  I wished she were here now and that I could ask her who these women really were and what role they played. Why our family?

  Why me?

  “What are you doing up?”

  I froze staring into Tarryn’s eyes as she saw me in my grandma’s secret room. I practically threw the photo that I held in my hand as I stumbled out of the room and tried to act casual, as if having a secret lair was totally normal.

  Maybe for Batman.

  But for me, it wasn’t, and it showed as I tried to be cool, without really pulling it off.

  “What’s in that room?” Tarryn asked looking over my shoulder.

  My cover was blown.

  “Um, it’s my Gram’s room. It’s where she holds her old photographs.”

  Smooth, Emme, like silk.

  “Uh…why not just put them in the attic? That’s where my mom puts them.”

  She knew something was up, but I couldn’t make any more excuses for this room or for my secret. Maybe it would be nice if someone knew about this besides me. I could tell her everything, and she’d be okay with it. I decided how lame that was, and I grabbed her by the arm, gently, and shut out the lights.

  “I think we should go out tonight to celebrate. What do you say?”

  She struggled a little, but then relented. I knew I could get her to give up on that room with a night out.

  “We’ll go to Smitty’s! I have a fake ID,” she chimed in.

  “That works perfect.” My fake ID was still in my wallet, but I figured the staff there probably didn’t even know who I was anymore. No one ever paid any attention to me anyhow.

  It actually sounded horrible, but I needed to get Tarryn away from the library. And I could use a drink…or two.

  ****

  Smitty’s was packed with the usual suspects. Sailors coming home after their full week or two of fishing or townspeople missing the sunshine. Our town was lonely at times, and the bars were the only place to go to have decent conversation. If you didn’t own a computer, you were in Smitty’s. Most people came here to drink and wallow in their self-pity.

  I pulled Tarryn to the back of the bar and text Rose to meet us. Tarryn tried Becca, but she was stuck working still. I ordered a shot and gave it to Tarryn, who took it and downed it faster than I expected her to. I did the same to mine and ordered more.

  Not shy about drinking, I could hold my own. I owe that talent to my year of college and sorority life.

  There were many times that I woke up in the bathtub with puke in my hair, but those were the early days. The trick was to not mix hard liquor and beer or to drink hard liquor and frilly drinks. You started with a few shots and finished the night with something calmer, finally ending with a large glass of water and a pain killer. Worked for me every time.

  We downed our second shots, and I ordered us Malibu and Cokes. Tarryn was beginning to loosen up and talk about what she liked to do when Rose walked in.

  “Started without me, ladies?” Rose teased as she sat down. She pulled off her winter coat and hung it on the coat hook. “Still got that same fake, Emme?” I nodded and showed her my old ratty fake ID that I got senior year.

  She wasn’t wearing her scrubs, which meant she was off duty and not on call. Rose would never drink if she was.

  “I’ll have what their having,” she told the bartender. “So ladies, what are we celebrating?”

  “The opening of the library,” Tarryn said holding up her drink. I did a quick introduction between Tarr
yn and Rose and left out the fact that Tarryn was underage, too.

  Afterwards, I lifted my glass and toasted with them. I felt a foreboding within me. I wasn’t celebrating; I was avoiding confrontation and trying to not think about Jack.

  It was almost impossible not to think about him, especially when I watched people hooking up all around us. As the night went on, it got worse. I got more alcohol in me and I felt sadder.

  “Rose,” I started, “tell me about the guy.”

  Her eyes widened and she turned a bit red. Rose didn’t like to kiss and tell, and I knew I was putting her on the spot. She didn’t really date much either, which made her mother sad. If her family had the choice, they would have found a nice guy for her and married her off years ago. Her mother’s Asian traditions didn’t rub off on Rose. She wanted a career first like her father.

  “He’s a doctor at the hospital, and he’s a little amazing. But I feel like we’re keeping this huge secret from the staff. You know how much I hate that,” she said to me.

  I did indeed know that. Rose was honest and direct. She never kept anything from me or anyone really. It wasn’t annoying but rather endearing.

  “How did you get involved?” Tarryn asked.

  Rose went into their story of how they met and I tried to listen, to give her my full attention. I couldn’t help but think of my story with Jack. Jack was real, but he was gone now. If I tried to find him in my time, I’d find a grave. I took a drink of my Malibu and Coke and found the bottom. I was doing what I never did, letting a guy take over my thoughts. I was letting him into my high brick walls that surrounded my heart.