by Finn, Thia
“What are we going to do, Cash? I fucking hate seeing her like this.” KeeMac paced down the length of the bus.
“I really don’t know, man. She told him the entire, royally fucked-up story and got nothing?”
“Nothing! Didn’t confirm or deny that he was Braxton Whitmore, or that he knew him, or that he knew her birth mother, or had any clue what she was talking about. But he sure seemed agitated by something. Then the damn son of a bitch got up and left the building. Didn’t even say good-bye to her.”
“I don’t know what to say.” Cash couldn’t imagine Ryder being so cold to someone, even if she wasn’t his child. “Surely he saw the hope in her eyes when she told him her shit-storm of a life story. No way could anyone make up that stuff, not with the details like she had from something that happened so long ago, before he made it big.” The rest of the group agreed with him.
Chandler rolled over and gave them all a strange look. “Y’all know I’m right here, listening to you, right?” She had always felt like she had to make her own way, and during her silence she had come to some conclusions about this situation, too.
They looked at her with sympathy not knowing what to say or do.
“OK, well. I’m done with it all. If he isn’t my father, then my father is still out there somewhere, and I will find him, eventually. So, I’m going to get some sleep and then tomorrow I’ll start over doing some research. And, for God’s sake, please stop looking at me like I’m about to go Postal! It’s done! Over with. Move on!”
Everyone was a little shocked at her tirade but they agreed with her assessment, and all moved at once to find something else to occupy their time. They would be close to Austin when they woke up and everyone was excited about getting home.
Everyone but Chandler, that is. What would she do with herself? How could she live in that big house now, all alone? What would KeeMac want to do when they got home? She knew he would be happy to return to his eastside condo when they got there. She didn’t want him to feel obligated to her when they arrived. Maybe she would close the house up and take a vacation. There were lots of places she had never been, both in and outside the U.S. Maybe now was a good time to do that. Her life felt so rudderless at this point.
****
She still hadn’t been able to fall asleep by the time they passed through Amarillo. She didn’t know exactly what time it was but it was still dark outside when the bus driver stopped for fuel. She quickly packed up her smaller Hart bag and grabbed her guitar case and walked off the bus when the driver wasn’t looking. KeeMac was out cold after the long day and tense evening they all experienced so he didn’t notice her moving around or leaving the bedroom. She was glad for this small blessing. She didn’t want the long, drawn out battle a separation now would cause. She had fulfilled her obligations to tour with the band for eight weeks, so leaving now would keep her from being a burden or the buzzkill on the ride any longer. She needed to be on her own.
She walked into the truck stop and drew her fair share of strange looks from the drivers sitting around drinking coffee.
“Need a ride, honey? I can get you anywhere you want to go.” A young driver offered to her.
“No, thank you.” The last thing she needed was someone hitting on her now. She sat in a corner seat near the window where she could watch for the cab she’d called while she waited outside in the shadows to make sure no one from the bus had seen her leave. She didn’t want to let on to anyone inside that she was traveling alone.
When her cab finally arrived, she took one last look as the bus was pulling away from the station, and climbed into the cab and asked the driver to take her to the airport.
“Chan, come back to bed, babe. It’s too damn early and we have time to kill before Austin. We can find a few ways to waste our time and I promise you’ll like them,” he called to the sounds he heard in the bathroom.
“Douchebag, as fucking good as that sounds, you know I don’t bat for that team,” Gunner replied, laughing at him.
“Where the hell is she?” KeeMac sat up on his elbow looking out the door at Gunner.
“I don’t know. She’s your girl. I don’t fucking lose my women, ever. Just taking a piss.” He climbed back in his berth and pulled his curtain shut.
The sun was shining in through the front of the bus now, so KeeMac made his way up front to find her without waking everyone.
“Cash, where’s Chandler?” He was asleep on the couch.
“No idea. All those damn shots we had before bed knocked me out.”
Keeton was getting worried. There were not that many places to hide on the bus.
He made his way back down the bus, pulling open all of the curtains of the bunks. When he opened Ryan and Krissy’s curtain, he got more skin than he wanted to see.
“God Ryan, I’m damaged for life, dude. Cover that shit up.”
“You look behind the curtain without knocking, you deserve whatever you get. Now shut the fucking curtain, asshat.”
“Y’all know where the hell Chandler is?” By now the entire bus could hear his raised voice, but it was obvious she wasn’t on the bus.
Cash moved forward to ask the bus driver about any stops they made. “Did you see her get off in Amarillo?”
“No, I was filling the bus. She had to have climbed off then because the bus has been rolling ever since.” The other buses had left Denver first while they were meeting with Steel so they were traveling alone for this leg of the trip.
KeeMac came back from the bedroom, pulling a shirt over his head. “Her guitar and bag are gone from the room. Dammit all to hell. What was she thinking? She’s out there alone right now. We have to go back for her.” KeeMac was worried and angry. “Why would she get off the bus and not tell anyone?”
“I don’t know but we are too close to Austin now to turn around,” Cash told him. “Did anyone try her cell?”
Peri came up to sit with them. “Yeah, I did as soon as dick-wad here started yelling and woke up everyone on the bus. It rolls to voicemail every time.”
“She couldn’t have just disappeared.” KeeMac was frantic now. “Call the fucking Amarillo police and the airport.”
Peri looked at him sadly, “I already have. They paged her in the airport but she didn’t pick up. The police say until she’s missing twenty-four hours, they won’t do a damn thing. PR is on it, they’ll get calls in to all of the hospitals in the area and I’m waiting to hear back. That’s really all we can do for now. Look, she’s got access to a lot of money. She could be anywhere.”
KeeMac stared at Peri like he couldn’t comprehend the words coming from her mouth. What happened? Did she just leave him?
****
It was only a forty-five minute flight from Amarillo to Austin. Chandler was exhausted when she landed since she had no place to sleep in the airport and the first flight out did not depart until seven a.m. She rented a car and drove to the only hotel she could find in Smithville. She couldn’t believe that the Whitmores would give out false information, and felt like they were the only hope she had of proving that Ryder was Braxton and that Braxton was her father. She did not understand why he would refuse to recognize his own child but for her own peace of mind, she was going to find out the truth.
Tracking down the Whitmores in Smithville had not been very difficult. She chose the only diner in the town that had been around for any length of time, hoping to talk to some of the old-timers who might have known her possible grandparents. The diner was filled with people who seemed like the place was their daily haunt for breakfast. There was also a group of elderly men having coffee at the back of the diner. She laughed to herself when she thought about how men seemed to like to gossip just like women, only they liked to call it ‘meeting’ and ‘business’ at the diner. She chose a table as close to them as possible, hoping their conversation might offer her an opportunity to butt in at some point.
The conversation revolved around the second round of hay-cutting since the spring
and of the vegetables and fruits that would be ready to cut and pick for market soon. She perked up when an older lady came in and looked around before proceeding to the back where the men were sitting.
“I knew I would find y’all here. All this work to do and the bunch of you are sitting around chit-chatting like a bunch of old women.” Her tone was light-hearted, and it was obvious she was simply giving the men a hard time.
“Now, now, Mrs. Whitmore, we know you like to keep Al here on a short leash but we were talking shop, about cutting hay and what-not,” said one of the old-timers, giving her a friendly smile.
“Yes, well, Allen needs to remember I sent a list with him of things to pick up from a few stores while he was in town.” She smiled sweetly back at the man that must have been her husband. The others seemed to understand the implication of that ‘sweet’ look and its universal message, as they all seemed to have received it from their own wives.
“Well, I’ll let y’all get back to your gossiping then. I’m too busy to sit around and do nothing with my friends all day.” She turned to leave and Chandler quickly threw some cash on the table and walked out behind her.
“Mrs. Whitmore?” Chandler’s voice was so soft the older woman almost didn’t hear it.
“Yes?” When she turned and looked directly at Chandler, she sucked in a loud breath and quickly turned pale. Chandler reached forward when she thought the woman was going to fall. Allen came out the door at that moment and saw his wife going to the ground.
“Kate, what’s wrong, honey? Are you ok?” He and Chandler caught her before she landed. She looked at her husband like she had seen a ghost and pointed to Chandler. When Allen turned and looked her straight in the eyes, he too looked stunned and couldn’t seem to look away from her.
“Who are you?” he demanded.
“You know exactly who she is, Allen,” his wife said in a shaky voice.
“My name is Chandler Chatam, Mr. Whitmore.” Chandler was at a loss as to how to start this conversation with them both. “Do you think we could go somewhere and talk? The doorway isn’t safe.”
They helped his wife to stand, and he pointed to some umbrella-covered picnic tables outside of the diner.
“So, young lady, would you care to tell us who you are, and how do you know our names?” Allen Whitmore seemed leery of what Chandler was going to say.
“Don’t be stupid, Allen. You know exactly who she is.” Kate was now smiling a friendly smile at her.
“Well, I really don’t know where to begin, Mr. and Mrs. Whitmore. Like I said, I’m Chandler Chatam, and I’m from Austin.”
“And you are Braxton’s daughter, aren’t you?” Kate blurted out still beaming at her.
“I don’t think I am. You see, I met him a couple of days ago in Denver, and he didn’t seem like he believed that I could be related to him.”
“Oh, Chandler, sweet girl,” Kate took her hand, “there is no doubt in my mind you are his child. Y’all look so much alike when he was your age. The eyes are a dead giveaway, though. He has aqua-blue eyes, just like you.”
Chandler hands started shaking in hers. “I think I need to tell you the same story I told him then.” She took her time, repeating the story in hopes they might believe her. When she finished, Kate moved to Chandler’s side of the table and hugged her close.
“You’re his only child, at least as far as we know,” Allen told her with a quick smile.
“I guess, he doesn’t want a child then because he ran from the room when I told him the story.” The memory of that night brought forth the tears she had held back until this moment.
Giving Allen a concerned look, Mrs. Whitmore said, “I’m sure there is more to this story, sweet girl. Let’s go home and talk more. There’s so much we want to hear.” Kate held her close all the way to the car.
“Kate, you ride with her, and I’ll get James to bring your car home.” Allen moved toward the diner’s door but stopped. “I’ll be right behind y’all, and Chandler, don’t start without me, please.” He wrapped his arm around her and drew her in a big hug.
Arriving at their ranch, Chandler wanted to ask Kate a million questions, but decided to do what her grandfather asked. That simple title carried such a sense of longing for her.
Allen and another man walked into the house and found them sitting at the big kitchen table with coffee. The new man looked straight into Chandler’s eyes then shook his head and smiled. “Well, if there were any doubts before, seeing her puts an end to them,” he told her. “Wait ‘til Betsy sees her!” He laughed at his own comment. He put his hand out to Chandler and introduced himself as Ryder’s brother and her Uncle James. She returned the shake, loving the warm feeling his big hand offered.
Chandler looked at the family that had collected in this room as if it was a normal day for them, sitting around the table chatting and having coffee. It was anything but normal for her though.
“OK, sweetheart,” Allen said. “Tell us everything now, or ask us anything. We know you must have so many unanswered questions, at least as many as we do.”
Chandler wanted basic information first. “To start, did you know my mom?”
“Yes, we did. Your momma was a great girl. When they were in high school, your daddy was in a band and she was their biggest fan. She would follow them to the ends of the earth to watch your daddy perform. Your mom and dad had known each other all their lives. They were great friends as children and it progressed into more by the time they got to high school. Maybe they had always been in love.”
“Then what happened? How did this become such a mess?” She could only stare back at them.
“Now that right there, we don’t know the answer to. She was here one day and gone the next. Her parents refused to give any of us any information other than she had decided to finish out school in another state and was going to stay there for college. About a year and a half later, they brought her body here to bury her. Told everyone she died in a car accident but didn’t say where.” Kate had such an expression of sadness and despair on her face as she recalled the details of that period so many years ago.
James chimed in, “Her leaving made no damn sense to anyone, either. She had made up her mind to go to UT when she was a freshman in high school, and was accepted and ready to go when she graduated, and Brax was leaving on his tour with the band. Then poof, she was gone.”
“Where are her parents now?” Chandler asked.
“Don’t know. They moved right after she left and when they came home to bury her, they only had a graveside service and left that day. No one really knows what happened to them,” Kate added. “It was all so mysterious and fast.”
“Yeah, we thought they were hiding something but no one could ever find out what. Your dad was on tour when she was buried. It was all eventually forgotten, at least until now. Are you saying you’ve been living in Austin, just thirty minutes from here, all of your life?” Allen could not believe the news he had been given.
“Yes, well, and in D.C. My dad, my adopted father, was Senator Chatam. You must have heard that he and my adopted mom were killed in a plane crash north of Austin a few months ago? So much has happened since then. I feel like my life has been turned upside down completely in that last couple of months.”
Looking at Chandler, the family couldn’t believe all she was telling them and understood why she had such a worn look in her eyes.
“It’s OK, sweetheart. You only have to take it one day at a time. We are here for you now, and we’ll help you however we can. Please say you’ll stay here with us, at least for a few days so we can spend time with you? I’m sure you have to get back to things in the city soon enough.” Kate requested.
“I think I would like that. I don’t have anyone to answer to anymore, so I can stay.” The Whitmores seemed genuinely happy with her decision. “I’m exhausted really. It’s been a really long two days. I would like nothing more than to take a shower and get some sleep, if that’s ok?”
“That sounds like a great idea. I’ll get your things and Mom will take you to the guest bedroom,” James replied.
****
Chandler awoke to the sound of people laughing in another room. The sun had already set, and a check of the clock confirmed that she had slept the day away in a comfortable bed. She changed into her yoga pants and an AD tee shirt and opened the door to peek out at the sound of happiness in some newly familiar voices. She wandered through the house and found everyone gathered comfortably around the table in the big kitchen. It was obvious they were used to gathering there.
“Oh, My God!” A woman almost attacked her with a bear hug. Chandler squeaked and could only look back stunned and wide-eyed at the rest of the family. “I’m your Aunt Betsy! I’m so excited to meet you! I know we are going to be great friends!”
The woman’s enthusiasm was catching, and Chandler smiled when her new-found aunt finally let her go. “You look so much like my dumbass brother! Where is he anyway, Mom?”
“Oh, we don’t know. We don’t even keep up with his tours anymore,” Allen said over the top of his coffee cup.
“Well, we need to call the fucktard up and let him know what he’s missing out on.”
“Betsy, that’s a terrible thing to say in this house,” her mom scolded.
“He is a fucktard if he didn’t scoop this sweet thing up and love all over her! Isn’t that right, James?” Betsy tried to get her brother on board with her opinion.
“Yeah, I guess. You know what happened to him when Laina left, and then when we told him she died.” The family looked at Chandler and the silence in the room was suddenly awkward. “I’m sorry, Chandler. I didn’t mean anything against you or your mom, but you have to know it sent Brax into a spiral that he almost didn’t recover from.”