by Carol Gorman
I went back to my room and hid the blush under my socks at the back of the drawer.
Mom was walking up the hall from her bedroom. “There’s some new cereal in the pantry,” she said as we passed. “Lizard?”
I turned back.
“Honey, do you feel okay?”
“Sure. Why?”
Mom felt my head. “You look feverish. I wonder if you’re running a fev—” She stopped and stared at my face. “Uh—okay, honey.” She smiled and patted my arm. “You look nice.”
“Thanks.”
I started down the stairs with Mom close behind me. I went into the kitchen and pulled a bowl out of the cupboard. Mom sat at the table with Dad and Sam.
I poured the new cereal into the bowl and sat down. Dad was busy eating, but Sam stared at me.
He grinned. “Think you got enough red on your face, Liz—” Mom made a sudden move and Sam yelled, “Ow!” He gave Mom a surprised look, and she glared at him.
Mom must have stomped on his foot under the table. Good for her! Sam’s a rat.
Dad sat there, looking from one of us to the other, as if he didn’t know what was going on. Then he stared at me.
I forced myself to sit there for the rest of the breakfast. I ate the new cereal, but I didn’t taste it. I just wanted to get it down so I could go back upstairs and wipe the red off my face.
I excused myself as soon as I could and ran to the bathroom.
My face did look awfully red, so I took a piece of toilet paper and rubbed most of the blush off. I left a tiny bit. It looked pretty good, but I was sure no one would know I was wearing it.
Mary Ann said it looked nice when we rode to school with the guys. No one at school seemed to notice I was wearing makeup. Not even Ginger, who usually zeroes in on stuff like that.
At lunch, I sat with Zach and the guys as usual.
“Man, that Tammy Holden’s so funny!” Ed said. “Did you hear what she did in Kapp’s class?”
Mr. Kapp is one of the science teachers in our group.
“No, what’d she do?” I said.
“She was chomping gum really loud,” Ed said. “I could hear her cracking it all the way across the room. So Kapp says, ‘Tammy, do you have gum in your mouth?’ and Tammy makes this big gulping noise and says”—he put a stupid grin on his face and imitated Tammy’s nasal voice—“‘Not anymore!’”
I laughed and looked over at Zach. He wasn’t even smiling. He was staring over our heads across the cafeteria.
“Earth to Zach,” I said.
Zach jumped a little. “What?”
“Aw,” Stinky said. “He’s thinking about Lisa.”
“I was not.”
But of course he was.
After lunch when we walked out of the cafeteria, he pulled me away from the others.
“You want to go down to the creek after school?” he said.
“Really?”
“Yeah. We haven’t been there in a while.”
“Sure.”
I smiled to myself. Boys sure could be dumb sometimes, I thought. All it takes is a little blush to get them interested.
I went through the afternoon feeling great. I met Mary Ann after school and told her I was going down to the creek with Zach. She grinned and said she’d see me tomorrow.
I found Zach at his locker. We stopped to pick up our bikes and rode to the creek.
Zach sat forward on the log, his elbows resting on his knees. He stared into the water and didn’t speak for a long time.
“So you like your classes?” he said finally.
That was a funny question. I mean, I see him every day and we’d been in school for over two weeks.
“Yeah. You like yours?”
“Yeah.”
“That’s good.”
I had a feeling Zach wanted to say something, but he just couldn’t do it.
“Did you want to talk to me about something?”
Zach looked suprised. “How’d you know?”
I grinned. “I can read your mind.”
He grinned back. His ears were turning pink. “Then do you know what I wanted to talk about?”
“No. I’m not getting a clear reading on that.”
“Well.” He cleared his throat. “You and Mary Ann are really close, right?”
“Yeah.”
“Well, do you think—I mean, do you think Mary Ann would mind if I—talk to her?”
Boy, this was really weird. Zach had known Mary Ann as long as I had.
“No. Why would she?”
He reached down and picked a long weed that was growing at his feet. He twisted it around his finger.
“I mean—well, I want to talk to her about—Lisa.”
My stomach lurched. I should have known this had something to do with her!
“I’m sure Mary Ann will talk to you about Lisa,” I said. “But I don’t get it. Why do you need to talk about her with Mary Ann?”
Zach shrugged. “Well, Mary Ann’s a girl, and I thought she might know the best way to get to know Lisa.”
I stared at Zach. “Mary Ann’s a girl? So what am I?”
Zach’s ears turned from pink to Cardinals’ red. “Oh, yeah. Okay, do you have any ideas?”
“About getting to know Lisa?”
“Yeah.”
“Well, what’s she interested in?” I almost added, “Besides hairdos and fashion magazines,” but I changed my mind at the last second.
Zach thought a moment. “I don’t know.”
“What is she good at?” I asked him. “Maybe you could compliment her on something she does.”
I thought about telling him that Lisa would be dancing the hula at the football game, but I decided he could find that out himself. Why should I help her?
Zach shook his head sheepishly. “I don’t know that either.”
That’s when it hit me. Zach didn’t know anything about Lisa.
“So if you don’t know her interests or her talents, what is it about her that you like?”
Zach shrugged and laughed a little. “Don’t you think she’s beautiful?”
“Yeah.” My insides ached. “She’s beautiful, all right.” Would Zach still like her if he knew the truth about her? Do it, I told myself. Tell him what a brat she is! “But she’s not very nice. You should’ve heard the rotten thing she said to some girls in my gym class.”
“What did she say?”
“She said, ‘If I were as ugly as you three, I wouldn’t want to look in a mirror.’”
“Maybe they’d been mean to her.”
“No, they weren’t mean at all. She’s really awful,” I persisted. “And she thinks she’s the most beautiful—”
“Lisa is so beautiful, every other girl is jealous of her.” Zach cut me off. “Even you!”
I stared at Zach. “I’m not jealous of her. I don’t like her because she acts spoiled and mean.”
Zach stood up. “I’ve got to get home. I told Mom I’d help her with yard work.”
He was mad, I could tell. “Okay,” I said finally.
He started to leave, then turned back. “You’re right, Lizard. I should find out more about her. Thanks for the advice. But don’t bad-mouth Lisa. It isn’t right.”
He climbed the side of the ravine and disappeared over the edge.
Good going, Lizard, I thought unhappily.
Another rotten day in a rotten school year. Zach wasn’t my buddy anymore and everything was horrible.
I hated middle school!
14
“Stupid hair,” I said to my reflection in the bathroom mirror. It wasn’t like Lisa’s, all full and pretty and falling in thick waves down my back. It hung from my head, a tangled mess.
I pushed a brush through it, and it fell limp around my face.
I sighed. I needed a miraculous makeover like those women in the magazines. Maybe I should have looked more closely at the article at the slumber party, I thought. What could I do with my hair?
Suddenly
I realized what I was doing. Wasn’t this something all those stupid girly-girls did? Was I getting sucked into The Change? Would I turn into a zombie like all the others?
I looked into my eyes in the mirror. They still looked the same. I still felt like the same Lizard Flanagan.
“Just because you try something different with your hair,” I told myself in the mirror, “you’re not going to turn into Ginger Rush. Or Lisa St. George. Or any of the squealers.”
I looked at my hair again. Maybe I could braid it. It would look more organized that way.
I put it into a ponytail, then braided it to the end.
It didn’t look too bad.
Then I put on some blush very, very faintly.
I stood back. That wasn’t bad, either.
“Lizard, are you going to hog the bathroom for the rest of the night?” Sam said from outside the door. “You’ve been in there since supper.”
“Just a minute.”
I grabbed some toilet paper, wiped my face, then quickly unbraided my hair. I opened the door.
Sam was standing here, glaring at me.
“It’s about time,” he growled.
“Be sure and shave every bit of peach fuzz from your soft little face,” I said.
“Stick it in your ear,” he said, and slammed the door.
Sam and I never used to fight or say nasty things to each other. The Change was doing weird things to everybody.
I walked into my parents’ bedroom and sat on the bed. I picked up the telephone receiver and dialed Mary Ann’s house.
“Hi, Mary Ann.”
“What’s up?”
“Well, I was just—trying something new with my hair. Do you think a braid would look okay?”
“It’d look nice,” she said. “Come over and show me.”
“Okay.” I hung up.
I told Mom where I was going and sprinted to Mary Ann’s house. She was waiting on her front porch. We went upstairs to her bedroom.
“Okay,” I said, “go away and I’ll call you when I’m ready.”
“I’ll be right outside the door.”
She left and I combed out my hair and braided it in front of the mirror on the back of her bedroom door. Then I put on some blush I’d brought over in my pocket.
It looked as good here as it had at home.
“Okay,” I called.
She opened the door and came in smiling. “Turn around.” I did a 360-degree turn. “That’s nice, but you should try a French braid. It starts high at the back of your head. I read how to do it in a magazine. Want me to try it?”
“Sure, why not?”
I sat cross-legged on the edge of Mary Ann’s bed and she stood behind me.
A couple of times I heard her whisper, “Darn!” while she worked, so I figured it was going to look horrible.
Finally she said, “Okay, I’m done. Want to look?”
She handed me a small mirror and I stood in front of her full-length mirror and checked out my hair.
“Hey, you did a good job,” I said. “Do it again, and I’ll watch this time.”
She took the braid out and rebraided it while I watched in the mirror.
I went home and, just for the heck of it, tried to fix the French braid in my hair. I looked in the mirror over my dresser when I was done.
It was pretty messy, but not as bad as I thought it would be.
Someone tapped at my door. “Honey, I have some laundry for you.”
“Come on in.”
Mom walked in. She stopped in the middle of the room when she saw me, then came closer and looked at my hair.
“Honey, you look very nice with your hair braided.”
“Really?”
“Yes, really. I’m sorry about Sam’s teasing lately. Don’t pay attention to him.”
“I know.”
Mom put the laundry in my drawer and left. I took the braid out of my hair. Then I took my Cubbies team jersey into the bathroom to take a shower.
I closed the door and went to the bathroom. I looked down at my underwear.
I’d started my period!
Just like that. No gushing of blood, no horrible pains, no embarrassment in front of the class.
“Wow,” I said. I felt kind of weird.
I pulled up my shorts and opened the door.
“Mom?” I called. “Can you come up here a minute?”
I felt a little flutter in my stomach. For some reason, I wasn’t embarrassed to tell Mom the way I thought I’d be. It was hardly a “celebrate the moments of your life” event, like the commercial says. But I had a weird feeling that I’d remember this.
Mom came up the stairs and I led her into the bathroom.
“I think I started my period,” I whispered.
Mom’s eyes got big. “I wondered when it would happen. I have just what you need. Hold on.”
She disappeared out the door and returned with a blue-and-white box. She opened it and pulled out a white pad.
“I think I know what to do,” I told her.
Mom nodded. “How do you feel, honey?”
I smiled a little. “No weirder than usual.”
Mom laughed and squeezed my shoulder. “You’re growing up, Lizard.” She sighed. “So fast.” She went back downstairs.
In the shower, I thought about what had happened. I wasn’t really different now, but somehow I felt a little bit changed. Not like the girls at school who had gotten goofy and stupid. Just changed. It was weird, but also kind of interesting. I felt more grown up somehow.
Mom came back upstairs to say good night.
“Everything okay?” she asked, sitting on the edge of my bed.
“Yeah. I can feel some of the cramps I’ve heard about.”
“If they get stronger, you can take some Advil.” She smiled and kissed my forehead. “Good night, honey.”
“Mom?”
“Hmm?”
“Do all women wear tights?”
“No,” she said, still smiling. “Lots of women bare their legs, especially in the warm weather, or they live in jeans and dress pants.”
“Good. Because even though my body’s starting to act like it’s older, I don’t see why I have to make it wear those awful things.”
“I don’t blame you.” She stood up. “Night.”
“Night, Mom.”
She turned off the light and left.
I stared up into the darkness. I’d gotten my period. I had the feeling I was one of the first girls in my class to have it.
It was hard to believe that I’d worried about it so much. And there was one really good thing about it: I wouldn’t have to take a shower in P.E. this week.
I rolled over and snuggled down into the covers.
This was the only interesting thing to happen since middle school started, I thought. This was one part of The Change that wasn’t all bad.
I hoped this was a sign that things would get better.
15
Cramps woke me up a half hour early the next morning. I went into the bathroom and took care of things. Since I was up, I thought I might as well get dressed. I put on my favorite pair of jeans and a red short-sleeved T-shirt.
I stared at myself in the mirror. I sure didn’t look any different because I’d started my period. Maybe it was time for a small change. I picked up my hairbrush. It was only six forty in the A.M. I had plenty of time to practice the French braid I’d learned yesterday.
Fixing the braid was easier today. When I was done, I checked myself out in the mirror.
Not bad. In fact, it looked almost as good as it had when Mary Ann had braided it.
I made my bed, got some Advil from the medicine cabinet, and went downstairs for breakfast.
“Your hair looks nice, hon,” Mom commented, pouring her coffee at the kitchen counter.
“Thanks.” I slid into my chair across from Dad and Sam. “Hi, Sam,” I said. “Like my braid?” I turned my head so he could see.
He looked surprised that
I’d asked. “It’s all right,” he mumbled.
“It’s better than all right. It looks good.”
My dad laughed. “You tell him, Lizard,” he said.
After breakfast I went upstairs and took another look in the mirror.
A ribbon, I thought. Right at the end of the braid.
I remembered we had some fabric ribbons in the wrapping-paper box in the hall closet. I pulled out a red one that went with my T-shirt and tied it on.
I brushed on a little blush and stood back.
If someone had told me I looked pretty right then, I might have believed him! “Looking good, Lizard,” I told my reflection.
Zach will be surprised, I thought.
Sam and I met Mary Ann at the corner on our bikes. Mary Ann got a big grin on her face when she saw me.
“Turn around,” she said. “It looks great!”
“Stinky called and said he had a flat tire,” Sam said. “So he and the other guys went to Zach’s to blow it up.”
I’d have to wait for their reactions to my braid. I figured Ed would either tease or compliment me or both. Stinky was still mad at me, so he’d probably ignore me. I wondered what Zach would say.
After we’d gotten to school and locked our bikes, I pulled Mary Ann aside. “I got my period,” I whispered.
“You did?”
I grinned. “It wasn’t any big deal. It started kind of slow.”
Mary Ann’s eyes were big. “What does it feel like?”
I shrugged. “Like nothing. I had some cramps, but they weren’t so bad.”
“Gee,” she said as we headed into the school, “I hope I’m as lucky.”
I wondered if Ginger would make a scene over my hair. I didn’t see any of them until I got to my locker. Ginger was there. Lisa leaned against the next locker.
I’ve started my period, I thought, and they haven’t yet.
I don’t know why, but just knowing that made me feel a little superior.
They turned to me.
“Hey, Lizard!” Ginger said. “Great braid!”
Lisa smiled a little but didn’t say anything.
“So you think Sam’s going to the high school game on Friday?” Ginger asked.
“What about Zach?” Lisa said. “I want him to see me do the hula. I’m going to be dancing out in front of everybody.”
“Lisa’s going to be the star of the show,” Ginger said. “She’s the best-looking dancer, so her teacher put her out front.”