Keep From Falling (Markson Grove Series Book 1)

by Amy Vanessa Miller

  “I’m losing her,” I say through clenched teeth as I unveil my face from the covers. He immediately puts his hand to my cheek and hushes me gently. I try my best to calm myself as I focus on his hushing and soft touch.

  He pulls the blankets away from me and slips under the covers, curling his tall body up against mine. He wraps his strong arms around me in a tight and loving embrace. I can feel his soft breath on the back of my neck and I immediately feel at ease.

  We lie there together in comfortable silence for a long while as I listen to his breathing, and he combs his fingers through my hair. I think for a moment that I could stay this way forever and be happy, but it isn’t long before I remember why it is I was crying in the first place. Bree broke the news to me this morning that she’d be going out with Evan tonight to meet his friends. I’m not shocked. I mean, I told her to do it. But I guess I just wasn’t prepared. I thought she would fight it more.

  “I love you,” I say eventually, breaking our silence.

  I can hear the smile in his voice. “Right back at you. But you know I’m just paying it forward, right?”

  I nod slightly. “I know,” I say, allowing myself to think back to the ninth grade when Mark Ambrose committed suicide. I took care of Spencer for months on end during his grief, cementing the friendship we now have. We need each other and love each other. He’s kept me afloat through so much, including what happened that night with Parker. Even though I wasn’t completely clear with him about what actually happened, he was there for me. And, no matter what, I will always do the same for him.

  “Now get up,” he says, sitting up and reaching for my hand. “You’ve cried enough for one night. I’m taking you out on a fancy date.”

  “I don’t want to.”

  “I’m not taking no for an answer,” he replies, taking ahold of my hand and yanking me into a sitting position.

  I rub my eyes and then realize that I have smeared black makeup all over my face. “Look at me, Spenc! I can’t go anywhere like this.”

  “You’re beautiful, wash it all off and let’s go,” he says, taking my face into his hands and rubbing the black under my eyes with his thumbs. He kisses me softly on the tip of my nose.

  “Give me a minute,” I say reluctantly after a few moments.

  He smiles from ear to ear.

  Twenty minutes later Spencer and I are in his car and on our way out of town for the evening. The initial plan was a six-hour drive to Madigan City for dinner and drinks followed by an overnight stay at the Hilton, but as we are heading for the highway, we pass by Evan and Bree pulling into the parking lot of The Loft.

  Once an old bar and grill that resembled the other ten bars we used to have in town, The Loft is now a billiard and eatery designed by town hall to keep the local teens out of ‘trouble’. Most notably, to keep them away from the rumored Misfit Mansion they apparently have never been able to find.

  Personally, I think that’s a crock of shit, considering Markson Grove isn’t a large community and the whereabouts of the mansion isn’t much of a secret. My guess is that the police department has ties to the person who runs the mansion and are keeping their nose out of it for that very reason.

  The Loft is an ideal place for Bree and Evan to go, it's casual and not too romantic. I let the location make me feel a bit better about their ‘date’, but only for a moment.

  “Park over there,” I say, pointing to a second parking lot overlooking The Loft’s parking lot.

  “I don’t think that’s such a good idea,” Spencer says with a great amount of concern. He shakes his head but pulls into the lot, nonetheless.

  “We’ll just watch them go in. That’s it. Then it’s me and you off to Madigan, ok?”

  He scrunches his eyebrows in disapproval but shuts off the engine like I had asked. “It’s a bad idea,” he tells me again, reaching into the dash and pulling out a joint. He lights it and inhales deeply, holding the smoke in for a number of seconds before exhaling.

  “I just need to see it. I can’t explain why,” I say to him pleadingly, hoping that he understands.

  He offers me the joint, but I shake my head no. I’m way too nervous to get high right now.

  I watch Evan get out of his car and rush to open Bree’s door.

  I cringe. I hate this.

  Bree

  Evan parks the car in the parking lot behind The Loft and tells me not to open my door.

  “Ok,” I say, waiting awkwardly as he runs over to my door and opens it for me.

  He smiles, showing off his beautiful dimples yet again, and my body unintentionally begins to heat up. What am I doing? I can’t do this, there is too much attraction; too much intensity.

  He reaches for my hand in order to help me out of the car and before I even realize I am doing it, I take it into mine. The feeling I get when my skin touches his is chemical. It’s like my blood begins to boil throughout my entire body, making my cheeks blush profusely.

  “You blush every time I touch you,” he says with a chuckle. I know he’s not trying to make me uncomfortable or make fun, but the knowledge of him noticing makes my smile fade. He quickly goes on, “I think it’s adorable.”

  I look to the ground. “What are you doing, Evan?” I ask uneasily.

  He sighs. “I don’t know,” he says. “I don’t know what you want, this is really weird for me. Because I know what I want, and I know that you know what it is.”

  “What is it you want?” I ask, even though he’s right, I already know the answer.

  “To be with you, to kiss you, to touch you. All the time.”

  I stand there in silence for a long while, knowing what I want to say but knowing that if I say it, everything will change and I won’t be able to take it back.

  “I think I want those things too,” I whisper softly, still looking to the ground.

  He takes a deep breath. My words have surprised him and it seems like he’s trying to decide something now. I peer into his eyes, attempting to read him, and the moment that they make contact, his lips are on mine in a breathtaking kiss.

  He lets go of my hand in order to put both of his on either side of my face. His lips are hot and moist, and so soft. The minute he opens them slightly, I begin to kiss him back, slowly at first, and then with an urgency I can’t begin to describe.

  Evan’s body responds to this urgency right away, and he picks me up off of the ground and sits me on the hood of his car. I wrap my legs around him and I can feel him pressed up against me in a way that makes everything down there tingle. He begins to kiss my neck while caressing my breasts; I throw my head back and let out a gasp.

  And then I think of Skylar.

  “We can’t do this,” I say as I break the connection and I push him off of me gently.

  He’s breathing heavily and his cheeks are red. He wipes his lips with the back of his hand. “I know,” he says. “I’m so sorry.”

  “You don’t have to be sorry,” I tell him. “Ever since you kissed me at work that night I’ve wanted you to do it again.”

  “I’ve been trying to keep my feelings away. I really have been. But I can’t, Bree. You’re all I think about.”

  I nod. “You’re all I think about too,” I confess with a hint of guilt in my voice. He shouldn’t be all I think about. I should be thinking about Skylar.

  He looks hopeful for a moment but quickly hides it away. “I don’t want to get in the way of whatever it is you have with Skylar.”

  “I don’t know what I have with Skylar,” I tell him honestly. “I love her. But you make me feel things that I’ve never felt with her. I don’t know what to do with that.”

  He nods. He’s trying so hard to understand, and it only makes him that much more irresistible. He takes my hand into his once again. “Let’s go inside. Kelsie and Derrick must be wondering what’s taking us so long.”

  We walk around the building to the front door of The Loft, still holding hands. I know I should let go, but something inside of me wa
nts to keep holding on.

  Once inside, his friends wave us to their table and we head over to join them.

  Kelsie notices our hands immediately and beams a smile at Evan. I let go and take a seat next to him at the table.

  “Bree,” Evan says with a soft smile, “this is Kelsie and Derrick, my two very best friends.”

  “Yeah, but I’m more your best friend than Derrick is,” Kelsie pipes in. Evan chuckles but neither confirms nor denies her statement.

  Derrick shoots them both a dirty look. “You wish.”

  “Hi.” I give a little wave to the both of them and smile politely.

  “Hi,” Kelsie returns with a huge, knowing grin.

  What am I doing here? I know I shouldn’t be here meeting his friends as if I’m his girlfriend. I’m not his girlfriend.

  I rest my hands on the table, palms down. I’m not really sure where to put them. This whole dinner feels very unnatural.

  Evan must notice how uneasy I seem because he reaches over and rests his hand on top of mine. There goes that rush of electricity again. Oh God, will this ever stop? My face gets all hot and I’m certain it’s now a bright shade of pink. Lovely.

  Kelsie seems to realize that I’m nervous so she tries to put me at ease with loads of questions. That is definitely not the right move at all. I start to panic. This was a mistake. I begin to think up ways I can get out of this gathering without being rude.

  After a very quick round of the usual questions one might ask when they first get to know someone, Kelsie finally leans back in her chair and takes a breath.

  Evan uses this opportunity to change the subject. “So Derrick, did you get a chance to check out that new game I lent you?” he asks. I shoot him an appreciative smile.

  “What game?” Derrick returns with a blank look.

  “You know… the one with the… zombies.”

  “Oh!!” Derrick exclaims seeming to have caught on to Evan’s made up story. “Yeah, yeah it’s um… awesome… totally.”

  “Don’t we have biology together?” Kelsie asks me, interrupting the guys. There goes Evan trying to change the subject.

  I smile politely at Kelsie. “Yes we do.”

  “You sit with… your…um, friend, right?”

  Derrick begins to cough on the water he is in the middle of drinking, and Evan immediately kicks him in the shin.

  I bite down on my lip nervously. I wasn’t expecting to have to explain my relationship with Skylar tonight. And then, as if on cue, in through the door walks Skylar.

  My face loses any ounce of color it had moments earlier. How did she know I was here? I get up to meet her before she has a chance to walk over to our table. Evan notices the look on my face and follows my eyes to the door. He gets up from his seat to go with me, but I discreetly shake my head.

  “Excuse me for a minute,” I say to his friends before walking over to Skylar.

  “What are you doing here?” I ask cautiously.

  She tilts her head to the side slightly and smiles a big fake smile. “I could ask you the same thing.”

  I look over at our table and see the three of them watching us closely. “I’m just meeting his friends. We talked about this.”

  She laughs bitterly, “Of course you are. So why should I be worried? He’s only kissed you and makes every excuse to spend time with you. But that’s nothing to worry about, right?”

  “I’m only doing what it is you wanted me to do, I’m getting to know him. He knows that I’m with you.”

  “Oh? Are you sure about that?” she challenges.

  I shift my weight to my other foot as I look over at Evan. I already know she’s here to confront him about the other day. The innocent kiss. She doesn’t even know about the not-so-innocent one yet. “Of course I am. Just please don’t, ok?”

  “Please don’t what?” She asks innocently as if I don’t know what’s coming.

  I lean into her and bring my lips close to hers. “Just stay here and I’ll leave with you. Don’t cause a scene for him. These are his friends.”

  She looks over at the table, catches Evan’s eye, and stares at him until he looks away. “No,” she says finally. “I want to talk to him.”

  She nudges me aside and marches over to the table. Evan is already out of his chair. He is obviously feeling uncertain about Skylar being here, especially after what has just happened between us out in the parking lot. He’s not the only one.

  Skylar pulls out the chair next to him and sits down abruptly. Evan looks at me, possibly for an explanation, but I don’t have one, so I just stare at him like an idiot. What else can I do? She won’t leave till she says to him what she wants to say. He sits back in his seat as I pull out the chair beside Skylar.

  “Hi,” Skylar says in an overly cheerful voice. She smiles at Kelsie and Derrick. “I’m Skylar.”

  Derrick shoots Evan a questioning look, but Evan is too busy staring at the table in anticipation of what’s to come to see it.

  Kelsie smiles in spite of it all. “I’m Kelsie,” she says. “We were just talking about you, weren’t we, Bree?”

  “Oh really?” Skylar asks with a look of contempt etched across her face. “And what exactly were you guys saying?”

  “Just that we sit together in biology class,” I mumble, silently begging her to stop this before it gets out of hand.

  “Ah, of course.” She glares at Evan, “biology.”

  Kelsie lowers her head and begins to study the menu in front of her as though she will be tested on it later.

  “So Kelsie, tell me, how long have you known Evan?” Skylar’s smiling, but it’s obvious, to me at least, that it’s an obnoxious one.

  “Since ninth,” Kelsie replies, still staring at her menu.

  “Did he ever try to kiss you?”

  Evan’s head jerks up. He looks like he might be sick.

  “Oh my God, Skylar!” I say. “That’s really none of your business.”

  She shrugs innocently. “Oh, I’m sorry. I didn’t realize it’s only you that he hits on. Is that true, Kelsie? Is it only Bree that Evan makes the moves on?”

  Kelsie peers over at Evan, then Derrick, then me. “What exactly is going on here?” she asks coolly.

  “Just answer the question Kelsie. Come on, did Evan ever try to kiss you?”

  “Of course not,” she says finally. It’s obvious that she does not like where this interrogation is heading.

  “Of course not,” Skylar repeats to Evan. As she continues to stare him down, she goes on, “Notice him ever making any moves on anyone else besides Bree?”

  “That’s enough, Skylar,” I interject.

  What? We are just being honest here,” she says, turning to Derrick and Kelsie. “Because you see, Evan here seems to have a thing for Bree and I’m curious if this is a common occurrence or not? Kelsie, you’ve been his friend for the past four years so you tell me, any other girlfriends or flings we need to be aware of?”

  “No!” Evan answers forcefully. His head is still down, but his fists are clenched so hard that his knuckles are turning white.

  “Really?”

  “You’re worried about his intentions with Bree, aren’t you?” Kelsie asks. She sits up confidently in her chair and challenges Skylar’s glares toward Evan with a glare of her own.

  Skylar takes a deep, calming breath and forces a smile. “You can say that.”

  I’m suddenly not so sure that Evan and I were alone in the parking lot earlier and I have a very unsettling feeling. She knows. She must have seen us. It’s the only explanation for her sudden change of heart.

  Kelsie quickly goes on, keeping her eyes firmly set on Skylar’s. “You don’t have to worry about Evan. He’s a good guy and a gentleman. He’s only ever slept with one other girl, right Evan?”

  “Kelsie!” Evan and Derrick both exclaim in unison, making it clear that she crossed the line with that statement.

  Evan looks to Skylar, wide-eyed and panic-stricken. “I’ve not, nor do
I have any intentions of sleeping with Bree.”

  I put my face into my hands. I want to disappear. I want to make everyone here go away and just melt into the walls.

  “Bree and I are just friends, Kels,” Evan says finally, with a warning tone in his voice. I’m not sure how much Kelsie knows about his feelings toward me, but this statement seems to annoy her. She peers in my direction and then looks back at Evan. She’s not sure what to say, and I don’t blame her. Obviously, she’s seen that there is something more between us than a simple friendship. We were holding hands when we walked in, for crying out loud!

  “Oh.” Kelsie forces a smile through gritted teeth, “Of course.”

  It’s clear to see that going along with Evan isn’t easy for Kelsie to do, but she does it without any argument. She seems to know him well enough to know that this isn’t the time to push for the truth.

  Something in Skylar’s disposition changes slightly. Like a piece of her confidence has faltered, and I can see the real her through all of this fake bravado. Her cheeks go flush. Her lower lip begins to tremble but before anyone can really take notice of it, she gathers her composure and points at Evan. “You just stay away from her.”

  “Skylar, I didn’t know when I kissed her,” his voice trails off. He knows an apology wouldn’t mean anything at this point. He doesn’t regret kissing me the first time and he certainly doesn’t regret the second kiss.

  “You didn’t know when you kissed her that she was already involved. So I’ve heard, but you know now, and yet here you are introducing her to your friends like she’s your girlfriend.”

  “I never said she was my girlfriend. And you were the one who wanted this night to happen,” he adds forcefully, clearly close to losing his temper.

  “Well, I wasn’t expecting you to grope her on the top of your car!” Skylar says, slamming both of her palms down on the table angrily.