“It’s a grand mess, and I only heard about it all yesterday morning,” he started, and then filled them in on the embezzlement scam, and Howie’s part in it. “It’s why I had to cut my trip short and come back. This will take some sorting out.”
“So you sent Jonas to stay with me? Why? It’s not like I was involved,” Tessa said, and Jonas couldn’t figure out the connection, either.
“There’s more than the news made known. I got some of my people on the job as soon as I was told, and they discovered something…disturbing. I have enough information to suggest that Howie orchestrated the attack on you the night Jonas lost his sight,” the senator said with a sigh. “He paid off the guy who broke in. There’s a money trail.”
“But why?”
“It’s my fault. It’s all my fault, actually,” James said, sounding tired and old in a way that surprised Jonas. It must have surprised Tessa, too, as he saw her draw closer to her father.
“What do you mean?”
“You know I pushed Howie in your direction, Tessa. I thought he would be a good match, though it was obvious you didn’t even like the man. He made it quite clear to me that he wanted to ask you out, however, and at the time, I thought he was a reliable, solid kind of guy. He’d been with my office for almost three years.”
“So you think he attacked us because he was…jealous?”
“Well, I don’t think he was in love with you, no offense, Tessie, but I think he wanted to get in as close to me as he could. He was like the lot of them, power hungry, and willing to do anything to get it. Steal, resort to criminal activity, even. I was fool enough not to see what was happening under my nose. I think he viewed Jonas as a threat to that—noticed the attraction you two had.”
Jonas thought about what the aide had said to him at his bedside that night. Howie Stanton had obviously been the one manipulating the situation, not Tessa or her father.
Jonas was suddenly very angry at himself—if he had not jumped to conclusions and just believed what he was told, maybe he could have found that out sooner. But then he remembered James’s phone call—it seemed to confirm his beliefs about what was going on.
His head started to ache slightly, and he took a deep breath.
“So how much of what he said to me that night was true?”
“Well, I wasn’t happy to hear what happened, of course. Though Howie played me, too, and made it all sound much more salacious than it was—hopefully, anyway,” he said, looking at Jonas.
Jonas couldn’t see his expression clearly, but felt the weight of it. He was starting to speak, when Tessa interrupted.
“There was nothing salacious about what happened between me and Jonas,” she said hotly. “And it was my fault, not Jonas’s. I had been trying to get him to notice me. To respond to me. But he was so…businesslike. Then that night, things just…happened. But I didn’t do it to lure him in, or to get back at you. I know you probably don’t believe that, either of you, but it’s true.”
“You think I was angry at him because you two had…an attraction to each other? I don’t care about that,” her father claimed.
“Then why?” Jonas asked.
“I fired you because you didn’t do your job, Jonas. You didn’t protect her, and you could have been killed! Both of you,” he added. “I wasn’t thinking straight, and I knew if I went to the hospital, I’d say things I might regret. But I never told Howie to level any kind of threat, and I wasn’t angry that you and Tessa were attracted to each other. I never forbade you to see her.”
Jonas didn’t detect anything but sincerity in the senator’s voice.
“I let you down. I put her in danger, and you’re right about that,” admitted Jonas, understanding how the aide had manipulated things to his own ends. “I should have spoken to you directly, sir. I’m sorry about that, about assuming the worst about you, and about Tessa. I hope this hasn’t damaged our friendship too severely.”
“Well, the girl did have a history of liking to rub things in my face,” the senator said. “But if you hurt her, I—”
Tessa huffed, inserting herself into the fray.
“Hello? I’m sitting right here? It’s all very well and good how you two are making nice, but what about me? I don’t care if you think you are protecting me, or whatever other rationalizations you have to tell yourselves. None of this was right. It doesn’t excuse either of you lying to me,” she said angrily.
“You’re right, of course, Tessie. It’s hard to change an old dog. I hope you believe it when I tell you, I was trying to do the right thing, but I just made things worse, apparently,” James said.
“What do you mean?” Tessa asked suspiciously.
“I was worried about the story breaking, not that I thought you were in any direct danger. But I knew things had gone bad between you and Jonas, that you weren’t speaking. At first, I thought that was because Jonas was irked about me firing him, and taking it out on you. But then I was put in the picture about this whole scandal possibly breaking, and it was a chance for me to try to make amends. It made sense that Jonas was the only one who you would let close, so I used that to get you two…together again.”
Jonas and Tessa were shocked silent for a few minutes, until Tessa stuttered.
“Are you saying…you were…matchmaking?”
“Well, I don’t know about that. But I was aware you were miserable when he wouldn’t see you, and that was my fault. I didn’t know how Howie had interjected the rest, until I learned about the scam. I thought, if I could get you together, just for a night, or a few hours, and if nature took its course…then maybe you would be all right.”
“Nature taking its course?” Tessa squeaked, and Jonas also settled back against the bed pillows, absorbing this new information.
“So you were never out to drive us apart? You were trying to…push us together?” Jonas asked, finding it hard to believe.
“That’s the gist of it, yes. But when I spoke to Tessa earlier, before I landed, it was clear it hadn’t gone well, because she found out I was involved. I knew that would anger her, and not put you in a good position, either,” James said to Jonas.
Jonas shook his head, incredulous.
“I don’t know what to say,” he said honestly, seeing the senator stand.
“I do,” Tessa said, standing and gathering her purse.
“I’m so tired of all this. Of the manipulation, the lying. It sounds like your intentions were good, mostly, Dad, but it doesn’t change much. Jonas still thought the worst of me, and you did nothing to dissuade him.”
She took a breath, continuing, “Then, when you deemed we should be together, you tried to put us together hoping nature would take its course?” she said, clearly seething.
“I can’t trust either one of you because no one has been honest with me from the start. You clearly care more about what each other thinks, and you just move me back and forth like some…pawn.”
“Tessie, that’s simply not true. You need to—” James started, his voice stern.
“No. You need to back off, Dad. You need to stop manipulating my life and everyone else’s.”
Jonas’s heart sank, though he couldn’t blame her. She was right. He should have been honest with her from the start, at least as much as he could be, given James’s manipulations.
“I do love you, Jonas,” she said, making his heart race. “But I can’t do this right now. Neither of you have treated me well, with honesty or respect. I can’t be in a relationship that doesn’t have either of those things, with either of you.”
“Tessie—” James tried again, but Jonas stopped him.
“It’s okay, James. She’s right. If I could do this all again…I don’t know. I would do it differently, I hope. But…I understand,” he said to Tessa.
“I need some time. To process all this.”
“Take as much as you need. I’ll be waiting, if you want me,” Jonas said, echoing the thing she had said to him when she came to his apartment th
e day before. He knew it was the right thing to do, to let her go, but he felt vulnerable and raw as she walked out, and wished the senator would leave, too.
“Don’t worry, Jonas. I know my girl. She’ll come around.”
“I’m not sure you do know her, James. Not the way you should. Maybe that’s something you should consider changing, if she gives you the chance,” Jonas said. “I know I will. I’d like to get dressed and get the hell out of here. Could you leave, please?”
Jonas felt the senator’s hand on his shoulder, and then watched him walk to the door.
He dressed and buzzed the nurse that he was ready to go.
It would have been one of the happiest days of his life, getting his sight back, if he knew he was ever going to see Tessa again. As it was, everything was still gray.
TESSA’S MIND WAS REELING, and when she walked out the room, she looked around for Lydia, feeling deflated when she couldn’t find her. No one was there, and she assumed they had all flown the coop after leaving her and Jonas alone.
No matter, she could take a cab home. She just wanted to sleep, and to have some time to process everything in her head, and her heart.
Jonas said he loved her. She thought she loved him, but did that matter when things were so messed up?
Checking her watch, she saw it was close to noon, and wondered if Kate had been discharged yet. Making her way to her friend’s floor, she found what felt like a party going on in Kate’s room.
Kate was in a chair, dressed and obviously ready to leave, smiling and holding court with several other visitors. Tessa recognized Betty and several of the women from the neighborhood who came over for Sunday cards at Kate’s. They all smiled when they saw her, and ushered her into the room, though she now had a few second thoughts too late.
“Tessa! I told you not to worry about me today,” Kate admonished when Tessa walked in and said hello, giving Kate a hug and a kiss on the cheek. “You did more than enough last night, and you must be exhausted,” she said with a mischievous wink.
“I’m fine, Kate. And I am so happy to see you’re doing well. You gave us a real scare last night.”
She said hello to Betty, and the other women, but suddenly, Tessa really wanted to go home. The thought that she had just walked away from Jonas, and the urge to run back to him, was confusing her.
“Where is your young man?” Betty asked. “He’s a strapping fellow. Very handsome, like a movie star. I bet he’s a tiger in the sack,” she said, making Tessa cough in surprise.
“I trust you had a nice ride home last night?” Kate interjected with a chuckle. “The limo seats are very comfortable, don’t you think?”
Tessa’s cheeks warmed as she remembered just how comfortable they were.
“Yes, thank you so much, Kate. It was completely unnecessary, but it very considerate of you, and Collins is so sweet,” she said, the memories of the night before coming back before she could finish.
Tessa put her hand to her mouth to hide the sudden, choking sensation of tears that clogged her throat. She turned away, feeling stupid, and also not wanting to upset Kate. Why was she losing it now? She should have gone straight home. Her nerves were raw after everything that had happened.
She wanted so much to be able to believe Jonas, and her father, too. She wanted the two most important men in her life to be part of it, but not in the way they had been doing.
“Oh, Tessa! What’s wrong?” Kate asked with great concern, hearing her muffled sob, and suddenly Tessa was surrounded. The other women flanked her, making sure she was okay. She had to laugh and cry at the same time, and they all patted her back, urging her to sit down.
“I’m so s-sorry. I’m just tired. It’s been a very long night.”
“Hmm, I think there’s more to it than that,” Kate said. “What happened? What did he do? Did he break your heart? And here I thought he was such a nice young man.”
Tessa waved her hand as if to wave off Kate’s concern, and grabbed a tissue with the other, trying to get hold of herself so she could stop feeling foolish. Something about sitting here with these wonderful, caring women kept the tears flowing. In so many ways, she was closer to them than she was to her own family, and that made her sad, too.
“I’m not sure we can be together,” Tessa said, choking up again. “It’s such an awful mess.”
“There’s an answer for everything. It probably just seems bad right now. Tell us what happened,” Betty urged kindly.
“I think I should go,” she said, standing. “I don’t want to bother you all with this, and it looks like you have more than enough help to get home, so if you don’t mind, Kate, I can just—”
“You’re not going anywhere when you are so upset,” Kate said adamantly, and the other women agreed, gently forcing Tessa back into the chair.
Betty went out into the hall, coming in a few seconds later with a cup of tea, handing it to her.
“This will help, even if it’s a bit weak,” she said, patting Tessa’s hand. “If we were home, I would put something stronger in it, but for now this will have to do.”
“So spill your guts, Tessa. We want to hear the whole story,” Kate said. “Don’t leave anything out.”
Tessa sighed and sipped her tea. It was clear that she wasn’t going to be able to leave until she told them what happened, although she definitely left out the sexier parts of her night. Somehow she just couldn’t imagine telling her octogenarian friends about her sex life.
When she finished, they all stared at her in clear disbelief.
“Well, that’s a better story than all the nighttime TV I watched this week,” Betty said.
Kate reached for Tessa’s hand. “Tessa, you are in a very difficult spot, being someone who is loved too much by the men in your life.”
Tessa drew back. “I’m sorry. I’m not exactly getting that feeling.”
“Your father obviously loves you very much,” she said. “But in the wrong way, as men, and parents, so often do. It’s a tough job, being a parent, and children sometimes need to be forgiving. But it’s never too late to learn, and it sounds like he tried, at least, to do the right thing.”
“But—” Tessa tried to interject.
“And your Jonas…well, we all know about men,” she said with a sigh, and the other women murmured agreement.
“I was reading an article in Cosmo that said men are like cats, not dogs,” Betty said, and they all looked at her, wondering how she had made that connection.
“Well, it makes sense. Domestic dogs are not like wild dogs, wolves, et cetera—house dogs aren’t in touch with their wild instincts. But cats, no matter the size, are all the same. The domestic house cat has the same behavior as the lion—cats are very primal.”
Tessa listened politely, trying to follow.
“Men who are in love will rely very much on primal reflexes, their baser instincts. Just like cats. They are hunters. They possess, but they also protect what they see as theirs,” Betty explained.
“I’m sorry, I don’t understand,” Tessa said, frowning and trying to digest Betty’s rather convoluted point, but also that she read Cosmo.
“Men show love in several ways. One way is through sex. Another is through providing for those they care about. Another protecting them, at any cost. It goes back to caveman times,” Betty said. “But they have all that testosterone flying around in their brains, and sometimes, well, they just get carried away. They forget we’re adult people who can make our own decisions.”
“So what you’re saying is that both of them think they are protecting me?”
She knew that, she was just sick and tired of their methods. Tessa didn’t want to be protected. She wanted respect, honesty and love.
“Yes, in a nutshell, and they are being complete asses about it, but that’s as old as time, too. No one is perfect. And you said they both had things in the past that colored their perspectives. As did you,” said Kate.
“What do you mean?”
&nb
sp; “You were wrong about your father’s motives, too. He was trying to get you together with Jonas, albeit he didn’t do a great job of it, but he wasn’t trying to do what he did to you in college, driving the man you loved away. But your past experience made you see things a certain way, too.”
“I saw a show the other day,” Betty interjected. “The psychologist had a couple with similar problems, and he asked them if they wanted to be happy, or if they wanted to be right.”
“I think there’s room for both,” Tessa said stubbornly, seeing their points, but a little surprised that her women friends didn’t see her perspective more clearly.
Or maybe they saw it very clearly.
“Tessa, you said your father never wanted you to open your shop, but now he sees what a success it is. He was obviously able to see what a good match you are with your Jonas, too,” Kate said.
“I suppose. But the problem with this theory is that it means neither one of them is considering me an adult who is able to make her own decisions. I don’t think I like that,” Tessa said.
“Oh, believe me, they know. But for fathers, their little girls never grow up, and for Jonas, well…love scrambles people’s brains.” Kate smiled patiently. “But they can’t change if you walk away from them. And that won’t make you too happy, either, will it?”
“I can’t think straight at all, about any of this.”
“That’s why we get so confused when we try to think our way out of these things. You know the answer, in your heart. Strong men like Jonas, and your father, for that matter, are not attracted to weak women,” Kate said. “They both let you walk away. The ball is in your court. Follow your heart.”
Tessa absorbed the women’s advice. If she were to truly follow her heart, she knew exactly what she needed to do. Could it really be that easy? Was she just letting her pride get in the way of being happy?
It seemed so stupid.
“Kate, it does seem like you have more than enough help here. Do you mind if I leave you for today? I have…something I have to do.”
Kate’s eyes sparkled with interest as she gestured Tessa forward for a hug and whispered in her ear.
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