by H. P. Landry
“Mmm—cherries,” he whispered ever so softly and then kissed me again.
He lifted me up, and my legs automatically wrapped around his waist. His muscles were hard beneath his crisp black shirt. His hardness wanted to break free from his pinstriped slacks as it pressed against the bottom of my ass. Our chemistry was undeniable as the months of sexual tension took a hold of us in an explosion of passion and desire.
I looked into his gorgeous eyes, and I felt my soul crash into them. Never have I felt so much love for one man, and the way he looked at me, I hoped it was the same. He stared at my face, as though he memorized each curve and line. His hand caressed my face and kissed my neck, sending a burst of goose bumps across my skin.
My nipples perked against the fabric of my tank top. In one quick sweep he threw the contents of his desk to the ground and slowly laid my body on top of the cool mahogany desk. He unbuckled my shorts and pulled them down my legs as he carefully managed to not get them snagged on my sandals. He realized that I was panty-less, and his eyes burned. He lifted my leg and kissed the inside of my calf. He kissed and sucked my leg, pausing in the inner curve of my knee. I felt his lips touch my thigh; I let out an excruciating moan.
My body bucked, but he pinned my hips down and began his slow tortuous assault on my other leg. His slid his hand under my tank top and found my full breast. He smiled against my skin when he felt no bra either. He perked and pinched at my nipple while he continued to entice me. Without a word, he spread my legs and devoured my wetness. His tongue licked every single drop of my sweetness, and then he found the place where I ached most.
It was painfully slow, but it only built everything that much higher. I felt my body as it trembled, and my legs tensed. I was so close, and my muscles protested this unbelievable sensation, but they knew that relief was around the next corner. My nipples were so sensitive from his attention, and my panting grew more intense. My moans were growing louder, but I couldn’t reach my peak.
“Please--,” I begged and panted as I grabbed his head and pressed his mouth against my sex. “I need you!” I screamed out.
He just shook his head, and I wanted to scream at the injustice, but he continued to devour me with his tongue. He licked the top of my sex to my belly button until he reached my nipple where he latched on. I gasped at the shock of his hot and wet mouth, and the sensitivity of my breast was enhanced.
“Please Damien,” I yearned and begged, but he just smiled against my breast, and I knew he would not make it easy on me.
Damien
“What do you want baby?”
The pad of my thumb continued to rub in a circular motion, and she squeezed her eyes shut. I was going to savor this moment because I knew what we were doing was wrong, but I couldn’t deny my love for this woman. She was perfect in every way, and her ability to connect to my heart scared me. I knew I wasn’t a monogamous man, but I couldn’t refuse my love and how I yearned to feel her.
Her eyes opened and once again she begged, “Please Damien--, I want to feel you inside me.” I growled because I never heard something so sexy in my life, but the fear that I might hurt her made me pause.
“Are you sure?”
She nodded her head emphatically her blue eyes implored me to fulfill her desire.
Had she done this already? Had she been with Xavier already, and now she wanted to experience me? I felt my dick lose some of its hardness at the thought, but I internally shook my head because I couldn’t believe she would be sex driven.
I knew Mylie would only give her whole self if she… God could it be that she loved me? I hesitated, but she lifted her hips against my dick, and I couldn’t stop now even if I wanted to. I pulled out a condom and bit the edge hearing the rip of foil. I slowly unzipped my pants, and with a soft clink, my belt hit the wood floor. I pressed my dick against her entrance and she sucked in a breath.
Oh my god! What the fuck am I doing? If I stopped now, I would never know what could be, and I had to know, so I pressed further against her. Oh shit! I sucked in a breath,
“Fuck—you’re so tight! Damn!”
I felt her, and a cold fear came forth. Could she still be a virgin? And we were doing this on my desk? This was wrong. She squeezed her eyes shut and hissed slightly while her muscles contracted around my dick, and her slight movement excited me to push myself deeper. She slowly opened her eyes as her body relaxed around my size and I ease the motion of my hips when I gently pushed in and out. I continued to rub her swollen nub, and I felt her body hit the precipice. She slammed her eyes shut again, and her breathy pants were coming in quickly. I knew after the prolonged teasing she would be close.
“Mylie open your eyes.” She did as she was asked and opened her eyes. I stared at the glorious woman before me. “Take off your shirt,” I whispered with authority which only excited her more as the twinkle of desire lit up her eyes, and she obliged.
I slowed and pulled her against my chest. Her breasts were pressed against my chest, and she began to unbutton the first three buttons of my shirt then pulled it over my head. She memorized my body, which she stared at in awe, and I could physically feel the trail of her eyes as she took in the sight before her. It was like that she realized beneath my shirt was body of a god.
“I love you,” she whispered and stared into my eyes, but I couldn’t say anything.
I just stared. How three words could petrify me, I would never know, but I had never felt so much fear in my life. I knew without a doubt I loved her, but she deserved better than me. I knew what I had to do, so I kissed her and began to push into her again in a very slow and deliberate pace. Once again, I rubbed the sensitive nub, and I felt when her legs started to shake again. I had brought her to this painful place twice before, and I had yet to give her relief.
“Please!” She begged again.
“Cum for me.” My voice was demanding, and she, once again, did what was requested.
She found her release and screamed out. It only fueled my desire more, so I began to pump even harder, deeper, and faster. On instinct she knew I was close, and I felt my dick pulse as her nails dug into my broad back. I sucked in a breath, but I refused to slow my pace. I felt once again she was about to find her release at the same time as I did, but I ruined it. Quickly her body tensed and stopped when I said the most dreadful words I could have ever said to someone. I knew it would hurt her, but I wasn’t the right guy for her, and no matter how much I loved her, I wouldn’t let her love me.
With my final words to her I begged, “Don’t love me, Mylie. I’m no good for you.” Her tears welled up in her eyes, and I knew it was too late to take it back.
Dear God, what have I done?
Chapter Twenty
Mylie
“You’re bleeding?” Damien paled, and his eyes implored that his fears were wrong.
I couldn’t stop the well of tears in my eyes as his words rang in my ears. He didn’t want me to love him, but it was too late. I felt dirty and sickened by my actions. In the course of a few hours I had nearly been with two men but only lost my virginity with the love of my life, and he didn’t want me to love him.
“I was a virgin,” I croaked, and I tried to hold back the tears.
Absentmindedly, I picked my clothes and ever so quietly, put them on, but never looked back. I grabbed my bag and silently walked to the door. “I could forgive you for stealing my purity, but I will never forgive you for ripping my soul.”
I left the suffocating office and walked away from the only man I had ever loved. What the hell was I going to do? I couldn’t work with him, and I couldn’t face Xavier. I was such a dirty slut, and I felt appalled by what I did, but the truth was I loved him. I needed help, and only one person came to mind. I dialed the phone number and waited until after the second ring, and then I heard the voice that would fix it all.
“Hey,” I whispered
“What’s wrong?” Immediately my savior knew something was wrong, and I loved her for it.
/> “SOS.”
“Patron?”
“No,” I sobbed, “Nicholas Sparks.”
“Fuck! All right see you soon.”
I arrived home and ran directly to my en suite shower as I tore away my clothes. Since I was a child, I always took nearly cold showers but not today. I turned the valve, and the scalding water sprayed out of the waterfall showerhead. The steam crept through the small bathroom, and I felt my anxiety triple because it always reminded me of fog, the fog that erased any sense of safety, love, and hope. And today it would once again rip away something from my life, despair.
I walked into the shower. I grabbed the washrag and the bottle of body wash and poured a generous amount. I vigorously washed every inch of my body, finally washing away the smeared make-up from my face. The body soap and water mixture fell into my mouth. Then it hit me, and my chest hurt like it would explode. I am displaced, and I’m almost at a loss with my emotions, but I felt like a piece of me had died in that office. It was almost as if I was going through an out of body experience because for just a moment I was blissfully happy, but now I was devastated in utter hopelessness. I pressed my body against the smooth, wet tiles and tried to fight the dizziness. Have I lost touch with reality?
I got extreme vertigo, and I couldn’t breathe. I gasped for air as my tears intermingled with burning water. I felt like I might lose my balance, and I slid down the tile wall on to the floor with my washrag clutched to my chest. I had scrubbed my body raw, but now I couldn’t breathe. My body collapsed and fell down across the floor with my face pressed against the solid foundation. I began to see iridescent orbs in my vision as I realized that I would lose consciousness if I didn’t get up.
I am going to die. I am going to die of a broken heart.
My eyes fluttered but I couldn’t hold on any longer, and I fell into a black abyss that matched my soul.
*******
I heard someone’s voice in the distance, and I immediately believed that it was my mom.
“Mom!” I reached out my arm in hopes to grab her hand.
“Mylie!” Her voice was frantic, and I couldn’t wrap my mind around why she would feel so scared. We were in heaven now, and everything would be okay. Wait Nikolas! Dear God my brother. No, he would be alone. Once again I heard her voice louder, and it was frenzied. “Mylie please wake up!” She was crying, and it broke my heart.
“Don’t cry mom. I’m okay now.” But I wasn’t, the pain was still there in my chest, how could that be? Wasn’t dying a release of all the pain? Would I suffer this pain for all eternity?
*******
“MYLIE!” I heard Nik when he screamed my name, but my eyes were glued shut. I was so cold, and my body was numb. I was disoriented, and Nik clutched me in his arms. I felt his clothes on my skin as he rocked back and forth. “Please, Mylie,” he sobbed, “what did you do? I can’t lose you, please Mylie. Wake up!” I wanted to wake up, but I couldn’t; my body was contorted and stiff. “HELP!” he screamed, over and over again.
I heard the door slam against the wall. The voices of Diana, Rhonda, and Malory in unison, and I drifted away again. I could die now; Nik had three sisters.
Damien
I pumped harder because I loved this feeling, and I knew my body well enough to know when it was close. I pushed harder, as I felt my breath come shorter, but I knew I was nearly there by the tingles.
“You can do it baby!” Andrea panted, sweat glistening off her skin, as her breasts bounced with every motion. I pulled off my shirt and wiped the sweat away as I pushed myself further than I had ever before. I knew I was there when she yelled. “You cheated!” I had won the race and the bet. I bent over trying to catch my breath, when Andrea caught up to me as we finished our run behind the river.
“How did I cheat?” I asked between breaths. We ran for eight miles, from the university to this trail, but she didn’t know I ran six miles every day.
“Do you hear that?” Andrea asked, and I listened. It was so faint, but I could hear it.
“Is someone screaming help?” My blood went cold, and I ran towards the voice.
Help! Help me!
Andrea ran next to me, and my heart was racing. I knew this neighborhood, and it was only a few weeks ago I thought I had lost the love of my life near here. The plea for help was louder, and I saw three women running into Mylie’s house. Dear God not again! I ran even faster and went into the familiar yard and ran up the porch into the house where I heard a man yelling.
“Oh my God!” Malory cried out as she pushed her way into the small en suite bathroom. Rhonda blessed herself, but it was Mylie’s motionless naked body across Nik’s lap with the shower running over them that made me pause.
I fell to my knees and cried. Not again! No! I covered my face, and sobbed, fearful that I had lost her again. Andrea pulled me to her chest and rocked me. We watched as Malory checked Mylie’s pulse. Rhonda made a call to 911, and Diana shut off the water. Nik reached for the towel on the wall, and Diana pulled it over Mylie. She didn’t move, and my heart felt like it had shattered. Had I not just gone through this?
“She’s breathing, but it looks like she passed out, but I don’t know why?” Malory informed us all, and only dread came to my mind.
Was this my fault? I pulled myself out of Andrea’s embrace, and she simply nodded. I needed to escape; this was too much, and if I lost her, she would never know how much I loved her. As I bounded out of the hallway lost in my thoughts, I ran into a body. I looked up to see Xavier seething.
“What the fuck? What are you doing here?” He pushed me against the wall with my shirt clenched in his fist. As he pulled back a fist, I didn’t even try to fight him off. I deserved it, but he didn’t know that.
“Damien?”
Andrea called out from Mylie’s room, and Xavier’s eyes widened. He let me go and ran out of the house. What was that all about? Andrea came into the hall just missing Xavier, but by the look on her face, she knew something occurred. “What happened?”
“Ran into Mylie’s boyfriend,” I said through clenched teeth.
“Boyfriend? Oh God, Xavier was here? And your face is in place?”
“He ran out when he heard you.”
“That’s weird.” I had to agree.
“What’s going in there?” I asked tentatively.
“They’re not sure, but Mylie’s pulse is slowing down. It doesn’t look good.”
“What could have happened?”
I paced the hall like a caged animal as I listened for the slightest sound of a siren approaching. Too often Mylie and sirens come together in a packaged deal. Pleas for help and Mylie’s name were one and the same. Yet, each time I wanted to be there to protect her.
Diana shoved past us, “Move!” She ran down the hall and came back with a portable defibrillator.
Panicked, I ran after her as we entered the room. I saw Malory and Nik both were doing CPR on Mylie. Rhonda was crying hysterically as she hugged herself, and Andrea had tears in her eyes.
“Damn it Mylie! You can’t die!” Nik cried out. Once again, I felt my legs go weak, and the room began to spin.
My face was wet with the tears I had already shed as I watched helplessly. Malory put the wires on Mylie’s chest, and the sound of long flat beep echoed through the room. Malory used the defibrillator, as we watched Mylie’s body convulse, and we all waited. Excruciating moments passed, and the flat line tone continued to beep. We wanted just one blip, but nothing. This couldn’t end like this! Then I heard a beep and hoped soared, but I quickly realized it was my phone. I ignored it, but Andrea pulled the phone from my pants pocket. She spoke quietly and passed me the phone. I tried to refuse, but her face told me I needed to take this call.
“Hello,” I answered hoarsely. A familiar voice spoke on the other end and forever changed my life.
“If you want her to live, take the rag and soap off her body. Tell your friends she’s been poisoned. He isn’t who you think he is; I saved her once,
but I won’t always be watching.” The click of the phone ended the call. I heard the sirens, but I couldn’t believe what she had just said.
“Poison,” I said out loud as I ran to Mylie, yanking the rag from her clenched fist. The collective gasp around the room told me they had heard me.
“What?” Nik asked.
“She’s been poisoned,” I said louder.
“Fuck!” Malory yelled out as loud footsteps echoed through the house, but dread filled my heart in fear that it might be too late.
Chapter Twenty-One
Mylie
To say that I didn’t believe in miracles would be a lie because the truth was I knew they existed. I died, and everything changed for me. My once normal life, where I was confused that I loved the wrong guy, no longer mattered because he came every day. Although I knew he loved me, he had made his choice and quite possibly because he was afraid of love. Truth was that there was a chance I would never really know.
I could hear them discussing my prognosis. They’d throw words around: “brain activity was almost non-existent,” “vegetative state.” The most dreadful thing they said was when they urged Nik to take me off life support. I wanted to scream at the injustice of not being able to move or talk because I was alive! Damien protested against Malory, who would urge Nik to do right by me, and let me join our parents in heaven, but I knew I wouldn’t go right away, and that scared me.
When I died, there was no bright light for me. Just a void, and now I knew fear. I have never been afraid of dying, but now that I knew it wasn’t exactly how I had expected, I needed a chance to right the wrongs in my life. Starting with Xavier. He had never done any wrong to me, but I knew I had to try to love him. I would do whatever it took to wash away the memories that had been tainted by Damien. Second, I would find out why I was poisoned and by whom. Last, I would say goodbye to Damien because this was over.