“You know how awesome Marseille is and there is just so much to do,” Laurel exclaimed. “We found this really cool Algerian boutique that makes the coolest clothes. The owner is French-born and she alternates anything you buy to fit you. She has the most awesome clothes. We told her we would be back before we left. You wanna go spend some money?”
“I don’t know…” I trailed off as Faith looked at Laurel before she glared at me with cruel gray-green eyes.
“How long are you going to sit there and feel sorry for yourself? It’s not like you’re the only woman who has been through a miscarriage you know. It’s pretty pathetic how you’re acting because you can still have kids. If you don’t want to shop then we go back to our suite and get high.”
“I can’t do anything but marijuana. Will lost it when I told him I tried OxyContin,” Laurel said with panic in her voice.
“Why did you tell him you used?” Faith looked at me. “Did you tattletale on me too?”
“I didn’t have to—Kaz just knew I was high.”
“Well, let’s go get a drink at least. I need something to take the edge off and both of you are starting to piss me off. No wonder I spend so much time with Jaden. At least he knows how to have a good time.”
I stood reluctantly and pulled the strap of my leather, Chanel black hobo purse on my left shoulder. “Fine, let’s go because to see you pout is just too much drama than I can stand at the moment.”
Faith’s expression changed into one of happiness and we all set off together.
THAT NIGHT, I managed to see the concert the same way Faith, Sasha, Misty and Keren were able to see it every time the bands played and it was an exhilarating experience. Of course, Laurel wasn’t there because she was doing my job, and it was just the five of us in great seats where we got to see all the up close action.
Despite my dislike for Seth, when he was on, he rocked the stadium just as good Kaz did and that night was particularly great. I also realized Winter’s Regret could potentially be Scarlet Fever in the next several years and that was an exciting and scary prospect.
Kaz, Jaden, Will and Grant weren’t ready to give up their position as one of the hardest working bands alive and they enjoyed their status as one of the most innovative and exciting rock bands to emerge from the scene. They would go down into the history books with legendary acts like The Rolling Stones, David Bowie, Metallica, Guns N’ Roses, Deftones, and Marilyn Manson.
All of the bands had reshaped rock and roll and had a distinct sound one would never mistake for another band and Scarlet Fever would definitely be mentioned and incorporated into the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame before they retired. Rolling Stone had already included them on the list of the best rock bands in history. Out of one hundred artists and bands, Scarlet Fever made the top forty.
Winter’s Regret had that same unique sound with the addition of Talia though she had agreed it would be best to leave the band and join Scarlet Fever after the tour. Everyone looked forward to her joining because she was a great singer-songwriter. I didn’t know what kind of childhood she’d had before her mother married into wealth but the amount of emotion she could convey with her lyrics was a form of art itself.
“They’re good, aren’t they? This tour has been unreal for me and I had no idea I would be working with a couple of rock bands but I would never regret my decision to leave. This is the most fun I have had in a long time and Grant is…he’s such a sweetheart. And just to think, if I hadn’t taken the job, we would probably not be together,” Sasha said to me during a short intermission break.
“Well, you met him on the yacht. Perhaps you two would have been able to work something out,” I replied as I sipped from a scotch and soda. Faith had slipped me one of her OxyContin pills and I felt great, calm yet in a dreamy state of euphoria.
I know Kaz would kick my ass—not literally—if he found out so I tried to act as normal as usual.
“Yeah right. I am pretty but not stunning, not like Laurel,” Sasha expressed before she smiled nervously.
“Besides, these guys see beautiful women on a regular basis. Why do you think I am here?” Faith wondered in a bitter voice. “I fucking hate all the touring they do but I won’t leave Jaden for a moment. I can’t imagine how many skanky bitches he fucked while we were apart. It will never happen again as far as I am concerned. He’s gonna marry me once and for all.”
I glared at my best friend, dressed to the nines in a pair of black sparkly jeans and tight periwinkle blue vicuña sweater, which clung to the slight curves she had. Despite all the expensive makeup products she wore, there was something hard and jaded about her face which made her appear to be older than twenty-three. She looked exhausted and worn out though she was still a beautiful woman.
Sasha stood and walked off.
We both knew she was going to see Grant before he had to perform but my attention was solely focused on my best friend.
“What’s going on, babe?” I questioned before I sipped from my scotch and soda. “Jaden hasn’t cheated on you or anything like that, has he?”
Faith’s gray-green eyes gazed into mine. “He better not if he wants to keep his dick. It’s nothing like that but we should have been more careful.” She swigged from her vodka and cranberry juice before she slipped another pill into her mouth and swallowed it with the intoxicating concoction.
“Maybe you should ease it up on the pills, sweetie—”
“Mind your own fucking business, Syd. Why don’t you just try to keep a short leash on your man and I’ll take care of mine? What goes on between me and Jaden is none of your business. Besides, these are only twenty milligram tablets. The doctor is trying to wean me off without me experiencing full detox because that would be deadly…” she trailed off before she sipped from her drink again.
“I don’t understand,” I murmured. “Why are you trying to prevent detox?”
“Because it is a hell you don’t want to have to endure, Syd…and it could cause me to have a miscarriage.”
My heart seemed to stop beating before it started again in my chest. I was pretty sure it was just me letting out a breath I’d been holding far too long when she dropped her own personal bombshell.
“Wait a minute…you’re pregnant?”
Faith smirked and glared at me. “I’m further along than you were. Three months to be exact and the doctor is concerned because he doesn’t want the baby to be born addicted to Oxy. The problem is I have been doing it as long as Jaden has. Hell, we get high together most nights and yet, he doesn’t want me to have an abortion. He wants us to wait it out because he knows the baby will be all right.”
There was a dense silence between us before she began to quietly sob and I wrapped my arms around her shoulders and pulled her into an embrace. “Sweetie, you are being monitored and I am sure the baby will be fine.”
“But what if the poor thing isn’t, Syd?” She took out a silk scarf and dabbled at her eyes. “I have been on drugs the whole time. We were stupid and reckless because I should have been on something but I wanted Jaden’s baby…I’m in love with him and I would never leave him. This child would link us and I am some coke and hillbilly heroin chick who is completely strung out. I hate I keep hurting our baby with my destructive habits and it kills me to think what I am doing.”
It was obvious her breakdown wasn’t going to abate any time soon and I quickly grabbed her by the right arm before we stood and began to walk toward the nearest exit.
“What the fuck are you doing?” Her attitude changed as she reacted like an angry cat and snatched her arm from my grasp. “Jaden will be on in less than five minutes.”
I grabbed her by both of her bony shoulders and shook her in sheer anger before I let go and my right hand slapped her beautifully made up face hard. “Snap the fuck out of it! You’re downing those pills like they’re fuckin’ candy and then you tell me you’re preggers? Missing one of your boyfriend’s concerts is the least of your concerns right now. Now listen to me
: we are leaving and going back to the hotel. I will text Kaz and Jaden so they know where we are but we aren’t staying here a moment longer, you got that?”
Faith stared at me for a long time, the cheek I’d slapped scarlet red, before she began to sob again and fell into my arms. I embraced her tightly before I kissed the top of her head. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have hit you but…it seemed to be the only logical way to get through to you.”
“You’re right.” She sniffled and looked down like a small embarrassed child. “We should head back to the hotel.”
One of the designated Cadillac Escalades pulled up and we got into the back seat. I continued to hold her in my arms because I knew my best friend was in deep shit and this wasn’t the time to think about what could have been with Kaz and I. This was what I was supposed to be doing because it had always been what I was good at and that was helping my friends in their times of need.
KAZ AND JADEN met us as soon as the concert ended and they’d had showers and wore freshly laundered clothing. We were gathered in our suite in the sitting room. I couldn’t pry the glass of vodka and cranberry juice from Faith’s hand but I had confiscated her stash of OxyContin and flushed them down the toilet. She cried and experienced a major case of hysteria where I was called everything from a “bitch” to a “lying little cunt” but I didn’t care.
Jaden paced the sitting room while Kaz sat next to me and provided a much needed shoulder I had to lean on. After spending several hours with Faith, I was ready to pull my own hair out by the roots.
“So, let me get this straight…you’re three months pregnant? When the fuck did you plan to tell me?” Jaden inquired as he carried a bottle of Jack Daniels and swigged from it occasionally.
“I thought you said he knew!” I said to Faith in a flat tone.
“Well, obviously I lied,” she responded sarcastically without a hint of guilt on her face.
“It doesn’t matter now,” I murmured before I turned toward Jaden. “Can you please calm down?” I begged in a soft voice. “I threw away her pills and she went hysterical but I can’t see how her poppin’ them every five minutes is going to help the baby.”
“I was going to tell you when I knew what I was going to do. I’m not raising a retarded kid and unless this fucker is one hundred percent healthy then it’s gonna be flushed down the toilet like all the others. I can barely handle the thought of a normal baby let alone one without all its marbles so…” Faith trailed off before she sipped from her vodka and cranberry juice.
“You can’t stay…” Jaden stopped pacing and stared at Kaz before he glared back at Faith with a look of pure hatred. “I’ll pay for it myself but you have to go back to L.A. and get into a program immediately. We might be able to save our baby. No more abortions, Faith. You’ve thrown way too many kids away as it is. It’s time for you to take responsibility and actually have one for a change.”
Kaz and I stared at each other before we looked over at Faith whose mouth flopped open and closed like a fish. “That’s not fair! You can’t make me leave the tour!”
He set the bottle down and stalked to his girlfriend where he grabbed her arms and squeezed hard. “You’ll do what I tell you to do, bitch, or there is no you and me. I’m not marrying some junkie whore who can’t stay clean long enough to give me a fuckin’ kid. You always thought you controlled our relationship but I have news for you—I don’t need you, Faith. I love you very much and I would die for you but I won’t allow you to destroy yourself. Now do what I tell you to do or else.”
She began to cry again and I knew I’d seen enough. I stood and walked into our bedroom. I had no wish to see my best friend have a nervous breakdown. Kaz followed me moments later and closed the door behind himself.
I changed into a black negligee and slid into bed. “My God, talk about drama central. Who knew it would turn into…that?”
Kaz stripped out of his clothes until he was nude and slipped into bed beside me. He laid on his back and I slid an arm around his waist. “I just found out tonight. Believe me if I’d known sooner I would have mentioned it. I brought her back here and we missed your part of the concert because of her revelation during intermission. Faith was hysterical there and I didn’t see a good reason to stay. I just wanted to get her somewhere calm and stable so we could discuss the situation in peace. A rock concert isn’t exactly the ideal place.”
“Believe me, I know you were trying to keep the peace but Jaden has taken over. Everything is going to fine, I promise. Tours are always filled with the unexpected. I only thank God no one has OD’d yet and I don’t even believe in the bastard.”
I lay my head on his chest before I whispered, “Shh, you might have just jinxed us.”
He kissed my neck before we both burst into uncontrollable laughter. “There’s my girl. Go to sleep.”
It was so easy how I settled into his embrace and before I knew it, I had fallen asleep.
Chapter Eight
Drama, Drama & More Drama
KAZ WASN’T EXACTLY all that disappointed to see Faith leave. She’d boarded an Air France flight in business class back to Los Angeles International Airport the following night after their show at the Stade Vélodrome in Marseille. Since then, their tour around Europe seemed to fly by and before he knew it, they’d performed in Belgium, the Netherlands and were currently in Germany, Munich to be exact.
Syd was healthy enough to work again yet Laurel enjoyed photographing the concerts as well so they continued to work together while Damira did her documentary. Syd had taken her betrayal seriously and although Laurel made conversation with his ex-wife, Syd acted like she didn’t exist at all—not that he could blame her. There was a sense of betrayal his ex-wife would tell him about an abortion his girlfriend was supposed to have that’d never occurred and for that, he would never forgive Damira.
He couldn’t wait until they were allowed to have sex again but that might be another week; in the mean time, she wasn’t shy about pleasuring him but he felt like a selfish prick for not being able to return the favor. Though she was physically healed from the D&C, her mind still tried to process what had gone wrong and he knew in many ways, she blamed herself for something she had no control over. The baby was never meant to be born and he always made sure he was there for her when she needed him.
The tour was becoming a circus the longer they were on the road. The incidents weren’t as bad as start-up acts who still shared a tour bus and were swimming in all the free pussy they could handle but it wasn’t as controlled as he would have liked.
Since Faith was gone, Jaden had taken up to doing his drugs in private but Talia had somehow become his rock and the person he depended on the most. She was a complete sweetheart and usually spent her evenings with him. Kaz knew Jaden needed the company but he also suspected it wasn’t completely altruistic; if she was with Jaden then it allowed her to avoid spending any excess time around Seth.
Their sudden friendship didn’t sit well with her boyfriend and one night after their show in Amsterdam, the two had gotten into a major fist fight which had to be broken up. Kaz hated drama more than he despised his ex-wife and now their tour had officially become a mix of a rock n’ roll cliché and soap opera. He wasn’t exactly pleased with the turn of events but there was little he could do about it either.
He dragged on a cigarette as he and Syd sat outside in the garden area at the München Palace where the bands were staying in the Bavarian city of Munich. The place looked pretty ordinary but it was first class luxury which was why their record company had chosen it. It didn’t stop the fans from camping out front but unless one was a guest, no outsiders were permitted inside.
Kaz loved the Germans and their top notch efficiency.
“Are you feeling okay, sweetie?” Kaz wondered out loud to break the comfortable silence they’d carried on for what seemed like a lifetime.
Syd finished her scotch and lit a Camel. “I’m fine. I can’t really say I miss Faith because that isn’
t it but I wish this fucking tour was over. I am tired of the hotel rooms, the traveling and the constant change in surroundings. Six months is a long time to be a nomad.”
“Well, at least Olympia Park is one of the smaller venues we’ll be playing. I don’t mind playing in front of an intimate crowd of fifteen thousand people. At least I feel like I’m not destroying my vocal chords along with my hearing. Ear plugs worn to play in front of fifty thousand people plus aren’t nearly adequate enough,” he remarked with a note of humor to his voice.
“I’m sure they aren’t.” She reached over and grabbed his left hand before they linked hands in an intimate way. “It’s only getting to me because I know I can’t go upstairs and fuck you. That makes me kind of pissed because I really, really want you inside me and I miss our active sex life. It passed a lot of time on the American leg of the tour.”
They both laughed at this sentiment. “Baby, you aren’t ready yet. There is nothing wrong with being a little scared about doing it again and I’m not some uncontrollable horn dog—”
Falling Into Love Page 8