“Oh yeah.” Jane said. “These babies are way more dangerous than anyone will ever tell you. If I had a bag of marbles I could kill dang near every zombie over there.”
"You’re just as scary as Amanda, aren’t you?” Shawn asked. Jane smiled at him.
On the other side of the road the zombie never even turned its head towards where the rock hit. Jane reloaded and took aim again. He let go and the rock flew across the interstate and slammed into the dead man’s chest. The force of the impact made the zombies entire body rock backwards. The zombie then looked around, but still didn’t move.
“It’s like that guy has to be able to see a target to actually commit to moving.” I said.
“Yeah that’s what I was thinking as well. Let’s see what happens when I do this.” Jane said.
While he had been talking he had been putting another rock into the sling shot and as he let it go I realized what he was aiming for this time. The rock sought out its target and impacted against the shoulder of a walker that was making its way towards the off ramp on the edge of the interstate. The walker rocked to the side just as the one lurking in the trees had, but then it stopped and stood still for a moment. It began to walk towards where we were hiding. From behind us I heard Shawn’s voice.
“Remember, for the record, I was the one who thought that this was a bad idea.”
Jane motioned for us to go on up the road towards exit seventeen where we eventually hid between two cars about thirty yards away from where we had been. We were watching what the zombies were doing as we fell back to our new spot. The walker had begun staggering towards where we had been and as he did so, a lurker looked up and saw him. The lurker then began to follow the walker across the road. By the time the original walker made it to where we had been there were four other zombies with him.
“This is not good.” Jane said.
“Yeah. The further they walk the larger the group will grow.” I said.
“The interesting part will be seeing what they do when they get there and see that there is nothing waiting for them.” Jane said as we settled in to see what the group of five zombies would do with the disappointment of an empty nest. That’s not entirely true, Jane and Shawn had the chance to settle in and watch, I was busy trying to keep Big Lou from losing it. He was wanting to do his job and bark like a maniac. He gave me a look like I had lost my mind and kept that low mean "I will eat your soul" growl of his going but between me petting him and saying "Sssshhhhhhh, we’re okay Louie, we’re okay" over and over he kept the barking to himself.
When the small group of zombies reached where we had been and saw that nothing was there they stood motionless for a few seconds. The three that had been mobile when the whole group walk-a-thon started now looked around and began to wander off in different directions. The two in the group that had been lurkers continued to stand at the edge of the road looking off into the woods. Jane loaded another rock into his sling shot and fired before either Shawn or I could stop him. A car window beside the two lurkers blew out. The two zombies looked at the window but didn’t move.
“What are you trying to do now?” Shawn asked. He sounded like he was just about ready to beat Jane in the head with something heavy if he didn’t stop shooting things with rocks, and I was almost ready to agree with him.
“I’m trying to set off a car alarm.” Jane said as he loaded another rock into the sling shot. Just as he was about to fire at another car, a scream rolled out across the interstate. A few seconds after the scream a gunshot tore into existence and then nothing but quiet. The lurkers had looked back towards where we were hiding but didn’t move.
“This is us officially getting in over our heads isn’t it?” Shawn asked.
“That came from just up the road by the sound of it.” I said, adding, “We have to go check it out. We may be able to save them, bring them back to Wal-Mart.”
“Guys, every zombie for miles is going to be heading for that sound.” Shawn said.
“Not all. Those two are still staying put.” Jane said.
“Charlie man, we really don’t need to do this.” Shawn said. And again, I thought that he was probably right. I could hear myself talking to Sass, telling him that he couldn’t save everybody. I could hear myself saying that all the other survivors weren’t our responsibility. Did I still feel that way? Had things changed once we had a safe place to ferry survivors to? I felt like we should at least see what was going on and if we were able to save somebody then we should do so.
“I’m not saying that we are going to go put ourselves in danger, but I think we should at least go check it out. If it isn’t too dangerous and we think we can save somebody, then I will vote for us to jump into action like the A-Team with a lettuce shooting fire truck. However, if things look shaky then I am going to vote for a hasty retreat.” I said.
“Sounds fair to me.” Jane said.
“Charlie man, I really hope you know what you’re doing.” Shawn said as he gave me an untrusting look and began to follow behind Jane as he wove his way between the cars trying to stay out of the lurkers line of sight.
Not far down the road and on the opposite side from us sat a building with a sign reading Cornerstone Church. Jane pointed and made a shushing motion as we neared it. Zombies were swarming around the outside of it. This was like a picture from a zombie movie. Whoever had decided to hide in that church had made a very big mistake.
In general people make very bad decisions when they decide to hide from zombies. Let’s look at the options available to the average person and see what they would choose.
The number one place people will go to hide is their homes. This actually isn’t that bad as long as you’re smart about it. If you live in a two story building you can actually make a go of it. Get your supplies upstairs and barricade yourself in. Make sure that there is no other way for them to get to you. Destroy or clog the stairs. Ensuring that they can’t make it to the second floor will ensure that you will survive, at least for a while. Eventually you will have to escape your home, so you better have that escape plan ready before you lock yourself away in your tower. If you live in a single level home or a split foyer you had better do one of two things. One, get onto the roof and stay as quiet as humanly possible for the next few days. Option number two is to get out of the house as quickly as you can. They can get in. They will get in. It is only a matter of time before you join the ranks of the shuffling masses and partake in some grey matter yourself. Apartments are going to be roach motels. You will check out but it’s not going to be the way you’re wanting. You will be very lucky to make it out of an apartment riddled with the infected. It’s kind of like trying to make it down a long hallway that is covered with bear traps. You may be able to do some fancy dancing and high stepping for a while, but eventually you’re going to get a chunk bit off you.
The second favorite place to hide from the zombie hordes is in a church. Not even remotely a good idea. Churches are made to be accessible. They want you to be able to find your way in as easy as you can. Once inside the buildings, you will find that they are structured to funnel you to main gathering space. As luck will have it, this will also be the room where everyone goes to in order to pray for the lord to come down and smite the unholy heathens who are running around taking bites out of everyone. To complicate matters even further there are almost always multiple doorways leading into such a space so once they start pouring into the room the chaos can begin full scale. It won’t be like shooting fish in a barrel for the dead, but it will be close. You will not survive.
Number three, the police station. The police are there to protect you right? They will kill those mean ol zombies before they can bite you, right? Right?
Police are just people, like you or me. They are going to be freaked out just as much as we are. They are going to be trying to find somewhere safe to hold up, just like we are. They are not going to get munched on just so you can get your butt to safety. Remember what that old bumper sticker say
s, “You’re my best friend and I love you, but if the zombies come I’m tripping you.” Take that sentiment to heart. Here’s another one to think about. “I don’t have to outrun everyone. I just have to outrun you.” The cops will be doing their best to outrun you, not throwing down a cover fire so you can make it to the city bus that's going to take you to Zanadu the zombie free roller rink of the gods. When you see the dead staggering towards you there is really only one person you can count on to keep you safe and that person is you. Nobody else.
The fourth favored place to hide is the mall. The mall? Seriously? Come on people, I liked Dawn of the Dead as much as the next guy (I actually liked the original WAY better than the remake, but that’s neither here or there) however you have to understand that the mall is like the church but on a much grander scale. There are doors everywhere and they are mostly made of glass. Now I will agree that it is heavy duty glass and the odds that the dead would be able to beat their way into the mall may be much lower than your general suburban home, but zombies aren’t going to be the only ones trying to get inside. There are going to be other survivors and they will tear through zombie proof defenses like they were nothing, leaving you vulnerable and hung out to dry in their wake. Even if you had a group of fifty people you still couldn’t secure the mall and be able to watch all of the entrances. Too big and too easy to access. The mall is a death trap.
And rounding out the list at number five, and this one really surprised me when I took my little pole of survivors. A bank vault. Do I really need to tell you the danger here? If you hide yourself inside an air tight bank vault I can guarantee that you won't die due to a zombie attack. No, my friend, you will die in a matter of hours from lack of oxygen. Air tight bank vault. That means the air that’s in it is all you get, and I have yet to see a bank that has a couple trees growing in its vault. Yes, I know that would be really cool but as of yet, I don’t think anybody is marketing “green” bank vaults to the masters of our financial institutions.
Knowing what I know about the best or worst places a person could run to upon the arrival of the dead, I wasn’t amazed that people had run to a church to hide. I was amazed that they had survived as long as they had. In my eyes it was truly a miracle.
Three more gunshots rang out as we were edging towards the break down lane near the church. Then the world exploded. Well, maybe not the whole world. The entire left side of the church went up with one loud, violent, BANG! I guess it just seemed like the whole world was going up. The explosion was so large that it threw all three of us off our feet and onto the road. Everything went fuzzy for a bit and there is a brief period of black before I can remember my eyes trying to refocus with Shawn leaning over me saying my name. As reality swam closer and closer to my eyes and ears I could make out Big Lou’s deep growl and then three sharp quick barks. Before I could see it, I knew we were in trouble.
“Charlie. Charlie man, you need to wake up dude. We gotta go.” Shawn’s words seemed to be in a garbled foreign tone.
“I’m awake. I’m good.” I said, but I could hear Jane laugh at me.
“You’re far from good kid. One of the bricks from the church caught you in the head. I would imagine you’re messed up nice and pretty. May even have a concussion.” Jane said.
I was coming back and was trying to stand with Shawn’s help. Jane already had his rifle out and was dropping zombies from a distance of about fifty yards out.
“We have to move kid. Can you travel?” Jane asked sighting and shooting another.
“I’m good. What happened? The church goers have a doomsday device or something?” I asked.
“Must have. There wasn’t much of a warning before the whole left side of the building damn near vaporized in front of us.” Jane said.
“The explosion has drawn the zombies out of the woodwork and it didn’t take them very long to notice us sprawled out on the road the way we were.” Shawn said.
“When did I get hit in the head? I don’t remember getting hit in the head.”
“No clue, we can figure it out later. Let’s move back across the road. There are houses over there that we can use to hold up in till this dust up blows over.” Jane said as he began moving towards the far end of the interstate. The good news was that there weren’t many zombies on the far side of the road. It would be much easier to get to the houses than trying to get down the road to Wal-Mart.
Once inside the house I made Jane stop his mad dash for the upstairs. “We’ve got some work to do down here first and we have a small window of time to get it done. We need to go into the kitchen and get three glasses and all the food we can carry. We need to get it upstairs as quickly as we can.”
I turned and saw Lou standing at the front door but not coming inside. He looked back to where the zombies were and then to the house and started to whine.
“Don’t stay here Louie. Go back to Wal-Mart.” I said.
Lou didn’t move he looked at me for another moment and then barked. He looked back to the zombies again and barked again.
“Go to Amanda, Lou.” I said, but still he just looked at me like I was crazy.
“Lou! Go to Amanda! Go!”
Big Lou turned and ran to the edge of the yard then turned around once more and gave me a bark that I took as a goodbye and then he turned left onto the road and headed towards Johnson City and I hoped the safety of Wal-Mart.
“Do you want me to slide furniture up against the door and the windows?” Shawn asked. His question snapped me out of my trance. For this I was grateful for his question, but I figured my answer wasn’t going to make him happy at all.
“No. Leave the front door open. I want them to be able to get into the house. We are going to need that tomorrow or the next day.” I said.
“What?!” Shawn said in total disbelief. “Why would we want them in the house?”
“Trust me Shawn. We’re running out of time. Three glasses and all the food we can carry then upstairs as quick as we can.”
Jane was already heading to the stairs with two armfuls of food. Once he had his load upstairs he unslung his rifle and took aim at the front door, which was still standing open. The second floor had a small landing at the top of the stairs where you could look down into the foyer and a bit of the two halls leading into the kitchen and into what I guessed was the living room. I never had much time to take the tour of the house. Shawn and I grabbed the food and the glasses and made for the stairs but as I passed the front door again I could see that the zombies were nearly to the yard. We had maybe another minute before the wave of zombies crested upon our home away from home. Grab furniture I said as I threw my food into the bathroom floor. Grab anything that is big bulky and heavy and slide it down the stairwell. We have to clog it up before they begin to climb the stairs. Piece after piece of furniture went out and over and down the stairs. Soon I was positive that there wasn’t going to be any zombies making their way up to where we were hiding.
As we had been chucking furniture down the stairs the zombies had begun coming into the house. They had seen us and now knew where we were but were powerless to get to us. We retired to a back bedroom where our new goal was to stay as quiet as we could until morning.
“We’re going to stay here all night?” Shawn asked.
“Not much of a choice.” I said.
“Yeah, we can’t make a run for it until everything outside settles back down. I figure by morning the only ones still around here should be ones trying to eat us. That what you’re thinking Charlie?” Jane said.
“That’s exactly what I’m thinking. We need to let all the undead gawkers get an eye full of the church and then go on about their business.”
“What does it matter if the only ones left are going to be the ones that are trying to eat us? Won't we be in just as much trouble in the morning as we are now?” Shawn said.
“Not really. After the others clear out then all we have to do is get away from the ones here in the house. If we make a run for it now we could
easily find ourselves surrounded before making it out of the yard.” I said.
“He’s right. I would hate to get away from this bunch only to be surrounded by another group drawn out here by the noise.” Jane said.
Shawn didn’t respond. I think he was severely pissed at us. I’m sure quite a few, “If only they had listened to me” thoughts were circling around his head. I couldn’t blame him, we’re I in his situation I would probably be thinking the same thing. However, my situation was a bit different. I had gotten us into this mess and now I had to find a way to get us out.
The day passed slowly, and I started to explore the upstairs more closely. We had all participated in a quick search while grabbing furniture and clogging the stairwell to make sure there wasn’t any dead up here with us, but now I was trying to get a plan together and pass the time until the sun set. Jane came into the room and told me that he was going to get some sleep before nightfall. He said he wanted to be rested so he could pull watch tonight. This caught me by surprise, I couldn’t figure out why he would pull watch up here.
“Jane. The stairs are clogged. The zombies can’t get to us. Why on earth are you going to pull watch tonight? We need to get some rest for what we’re going to have to do tomorrow.”
Jane gave a worried look to the stairs. “We aren’t quite as safe as you would like to think we are, Charlie. Tell me, what’s going to happen if that banister decides it can’t hold the weight of all that furniture anymore and it gives way in the middle of the night?”
His point came crashing down on me with one very scary vision of the dead crawling their way over what remained of our blockade. Making their way to where we slept, unaware and unable to protect ourselves.
“You understand now, don’t you?” Jane asked.
“Enjoy your nap. I’ll wake you as late as I can.” I said.
“Ten at the latest.” Jane said and as I was making my way to the next room he added, “And don’t eat all of those Frosted Flakes between now and then.”
A Good Distance From Dying (Book 2): Samantha's Song Page 5