They look up and I see Joey’s warning glare and my mum’s nervous smile. Summer smiles sweetly but I see that look again in her eyes.
I nod and try to relax. “Hey, ma, I could murder that cup of tea.”
She jumps up and Joey says with exasperation. “Then make it yourself. You treat your mother like a slave.”
Mum just shouts, “Are you saying a mother can’t care for her child now? What if I want to look after my boy? God only knows the clock is ticking before I lose him to another woman. Anyway, since when did you make your own tea?”
Joey grins. “Point taken.”
He nods toward the chair next to Summer. “Take a seat and get to know your sister.”
I think I wince at the term and he knows it. It was said for maximum effect and I don’t give him the satisfaction of winning this battle. Smiling, I take the seat and say softly, “So have you come to terms with all this now? It must have been quite a shock last night?”
I see her cheeks turn pink and dig my nails into my palm to stop myself from pulling her onto my knee and signing my death warrant here and now.
She smiles shyly. “I think so. It was quite unusual but I’m happy I came.”
Joey says proudly. “I still can’t believe I have a daughter and one as beautiful as you. We have a lot of lost years to make up for. The priority is to get to know each other and so, I’ve talked it through with Rose and we want you to move in here with us.”
My head starts pounding and normal life ceases on the spot. Summer looks taken aback and says in a whisper, “Do you really mean that, won’t it be an imposition?”
Mum laughs. “Course it won’t. Joey’s right, you need to be with family now. We’ll help you through a desperate time and won’t take no for an answer.”
She looks at me and says loudly, “Max will take you home and you can pack your things. I’m sure your Aunt won’t mind, it’s the best for everyone.”
As I wait for her answer, my world stops spinning. On the one hand, I want Summer beside me more than air but I know if she’s here 24/7 it will be the ultimate test. I watch the tears form in her eyes as Joey reaches over and says gruffly, “We want you here with us, love. I want to be the father I should have been from the start. I know I don’t deserve that title because another has earned the right, but I want to try to measure up and try to help you through a difficult time. Your real father will always be that and I want to be a close second best.”
Helplessly, I watch the tears spill from those sparkling blue eyes as Summer fails to hold it together. She puts her face in her hands and my mum flings her arm around her shoulders and hugs her, saying, “There, there, let it all out, love. Cry all you can because that will help you grieve.”
I feel so helpless as I watch Summer come apart right beside me and as I catch Joey’s eye, I sigh inside. He’s right. She doesn’t need me adding to her problems. Summer needs time to heal and find a place in this family. It would be unfair of me to fuck this up for her so, I push the pain away and reach out and grab her a tissue from the side. Pressing it into her hands, I say gently, “When you’re ready, I’ll take you to get your stuff.”
Joey smiles and nods with appreciation. Yes, that was all it took to smother the flames. Love for Summer can mean many things and I must push my own selfish desires aside for her own protection.
To protect her from me.
13
Summer
I’m still reeling from the fact I’m moving in with the Carters. How did this happen and so fast? It was one thing coming here to find him but another one entirely to make my home with them.
Max is quiet as he drives and I wonder what’s going through his head. He hardly spoke two words to me when we set out and I know something happened between us at Honeys. The trouble is, ever since he found out who I am, he has withdrawn into himself and is cold and distant.
Nervously I test the water. “I’m sorry, Max.”
I watch his fingers tense on the steering wheel as he says gruffly, “For what?”
Sighing, I say sadly. “For everything. You were so kind yesterday helping me out of a sticky situation. Then you discovered I had come here for a reason and you must resent me for it. I promise you, I never intended to cause trouble.”
He breathes out sharply. “You haven’t.”
Shaking my head, I say in a soft voice, “I think I have. You’re obviously struggling with this and there’s an atmosphere building that makes me think I should just leave you all alone. Maybe this isn’t such a good idea and I should stay with Aunt Kim and Uncle Jimmy.”
For a moment, the silence hangs in the air awkwardly. Then, to my surprise, he swings the car to the side of the road and stops sharply. Turning to look at me, I see something in his eyes that I wish I hadn’t. They are burning with fury and desperation mixed with so much lust I think I come on the spot.
Reaching out, he grasps my hand, and it sends a shiver through my body sparking it to life and branding it his. I swallow as I see the torment behind his eyes as he says roughly, “You’re right I’m struggling. I have been ever since I saw you dancing at the club last night. I’m struggling to hold it together and when I saw that creep drug your drink it made me so angry, he was lucky I didn’t kill him. I didn’t know who you were, yet I knew I wanted to kill him for daring to try to harm you. When I sat next to you in that booth, I wanted to make you want me even half as much. You see, girls like you don’t exist in my world. They’re hard and complicated and dress in drama most days. You were like a ray of sunshine that made me sit up and take notice and I’m struggling with my reaction to you. Then, when you dropped your bomb, it took away everything I had in mind for us. You see, in those few minutes when you were a stranger, I knew you were a girl I needed to know. I saw myself wearing you down until a small part of you fell in love with me and it became the most important thing for me to accomplish. Now I have to accept you as my sister and all those feelings have to be dealt with because I’m no fool. Joey has made it very clear what will happen if I let even one of those thoughts become a reality and you don’t need that shit in your life to deal with. So, yes, I’m struggling but it’s not because I don’t want you in my life, it’s because I want you to be my life.”
He turns away angrily and starts the engine and I feel my heart breaking. Reaching out, I touch his arm and he curses softly under his breath as I say softly, “Look at me, Max.”
Sighing, he turns to look and I smile nervously and try not to look at the breaking storm in his eyes. “When you rescued me from that guy it was like a bolt of lightning hitting me. I’ve never met anyone like you and there was something about you that struck me deep inside. When you invited us upstairs and sat beside me, I imagine I had the same thoughts as you. The trouble is, I knew who you were and was struggling to decide whether I should tell you why I came. You see, having met you, I understood that we were family of sorts. I knew that as my brother, our relationship would be very different to the one I wanted with you. You may be struggling, Max but so am I. I’m at the lowest point in my life and am finding it hard to carry on. Then why is it that amid all this change and grief can I only think of one thing?”
I lean back and say sadly, “It’s you, Max. I can only think of you and that must make me the worst person in the world because I shouldn’t be.”
Once again, the silence sits between us like an old friend and the atmosphere is sad and desperate. After a while, Max says wearily, “So, what do we do about it? I’ll try to bury my feelings but I’m going to find it hard. Maybe I should keep away for all our sakes and let you get to know Joey in peace.”
His words stab me in my already broken heart and the thought of not seeing him destroys me in a way I don’t understand. My voice shakes as I say softly, “If that’s what you think, then fine.”
He starts the engine and says gruffly, “It’s not what I want though but I need to protect you from me, Summer because I’m a monster dressed in respectability.”
> He pulls away from the kerb and I wish we hadn’t had this conversation. It’s only made things a hundred times worse and I bite my lip to stop the tears. Why is it that everything I love gets taken from me? Is love at first sight possible? I know it is because the minute I laid eyes on Maxwell Carter, my heart was lost.
I feel bad as I pack up the things I never really unpacked in the first place. I’ve left Max downstairs with Aunt Kim and Uncle Jimmy and to say things were awkward is an understatement.
Tracey is sitting on her bed with her eyes wide as she says breathlessly, “What the fuck is happening? I can’t believe you’re going to live with the Carters. The Carters for frigging sake! I’m not sure you understand just how big that is.”
I laugh softly. “They’re just people, Tracey.”
Shaking her head, she sighs. “No, they’re not, Summer. They’re gods in the East End. That family is made of legends and you are one of them. You know, there’s not a girl around here that doesn’t want a piece of those brothers of yours. Max and Charlie are hard as fuck and what girl doesn’t get turned on by that macho act they’ve got going on?”
I try not to show her words affect me and smile thinly. “So, they’re players, I kind of guessed that.”
She just laughs incredulously. “Not really hun, Charlie maybe but Maxwell doesn’t play around. He’s the one everyone wants because he always keeps himself off limits. He usually has one girl he uses, for want of a better word, just to keep the others away. That’s why what happened last night was so shocking. I’ve never seen him so angry and fly to a girl’s rescue like that. He has security to deal with the shit in his clubs and what he did last night was so hot it set the place on fire.”
I laugh and roll my eyes. “For goodness’ sake, Tracey. He just saw something that made him angry and reacted. That was all, it could have been anyone.”
She raises her eyes. “Keep telling yourself that, Summer. For your information that was unusual last night in more ways than the bomb you dropped. Max was practically panting when he looked at you and that’s not how that man operates. Girls crawl all over him and try every trick in the book to get even a smile from those bad boy lips. He was trying so hard it was quite comical to watch. The problem is, what’s he going to do now you’re living with him? Joey isn’t the sort who will allow such things under his roof and god, if I lived with one of those guys, I’d strap myself to the bed with my legs open 24/7.”
Laughing, I pretend to gag. “You’re so crude, Tracey. Anyway, neither of them thinks of me like that. They are just adjusting to the situation like me and the next few weeks will be a learning curve for us all.”
Sitting on the bed, I suddenly feel the sadness overwhelm me. Tracey looks concerned and takes my hand and says softly, “You ok, babe.”
Shaking my head, I say in a small voice, “Not really. I’m going to miss sharing this room with you. Will you come and visit me?”
She pulls me against her and says softly, “You’re fucking joking, aren’t you? If you have a spare bed in your new room I’m moving in, baby. I’ve never been so jealous in all my life.”
I roll my eyes and we laugh. The atmosphere lightens and I smile at her gratefully. “Thanks for being such a good friend. I think I’m going to need you in the coming months.”
She smiles softly. “I’ll always be here for you, Summer. I mean, if you can’t count on your family, then who can you? In fact, I’m counting on you to hook me up with Charlie Carter pretty darn quickly as it happens.”
Shaking my head, I say with amusement. “Come on, we should rescue your parents from Max. I’m guessing they are feeling pretty awkward right about now.”
We head downstairs and my heart bangs mercilessly inside me as I walk toward my future. I know I’ll always have a home here but this is something I need to do. Where it will end is a mystery and promises so much devastation. However, I can’t help my feelings and, in my heart, know the first opportunity I get, I’m giving in to my feelings for Max and to hell with the consequences.
14
Maxwell
It’s been three weeks since Summer moved in and they’ve been the hardest of my life. Just as I thought, seeing her around the house has been a lesson in self-control that I’m in danger of losing every minute I spend in her company.
As a result, I’ve spent a lot of time at the club and gym and tried to stay out of her way as much as possible. Difficult when you have a father hell-bent on forging the perfect family. He’s always been a sadistic bastard and if I didn’t know better, I’d say he was testing me because whatever opportunity he gets he pushes us together. I know what he’s doing though. He wants me to look at Summer like a sister and thinks familiarity will do that. Well, he’s got that wrong because all it does is make me want her more.
Tonight, as has become normal, I’m heading to the club with Charlie. Anything to get away from this madness and help me forget for a while. I’m soon ready and head off to find Charlie but as soon as I leave my room, her door opens from just down the hall and my heart thumps. Tonight, it looks as if Summer’s going out and it’s like a blow to my stomach. Her scent reaches me before she looks up and sees me staring. I see the pain in her eyes quickly disguised, and she smiles. “Hey, Max.”
I nod. “Going somewhere?”
I can’t help the possessive tone in my voice and she raises her eyes to mine defiantly which makes me smile inside.
“Yes, it’s Tracey’s birthday and we’re heading out.”
My chest feels tight and I growl, “Where?”
She shakes her head. “I’m not sure. Tracey knows a club somewhere near Soho and says it’s the hottest place to go right now.”
I look at her sharply. “Be careful out there, Summer. You know what can happen. Text me when you’re there and if you have any bother Charlie and I’ll come running.”
She rolls her eyes. “I’m sure I’ll be fine. To be honest, I need to get away from all this for a night. It’s quite suffocating, really.”
I nod. “I know. Joey can be quite full on and you’re his new favorite toy. I’m not surprised you want to get away.”
She laughs. “He means well but I’m used to time alone. I suppose they are trying to occupy my time to help me forget about my loss.”
She leans against the wall and I try hard not to stare at those shapely legs that disappear under a short dress that clings to her body like a glove. The heels are high enough to cause damage to any feral male’s imagination, yet not too high they look tarty. Her hair is brushed and swings around her shoulders and her make-up is subtle, yet frames her beauty perfectly.
I feel my balls ache for her and try desperately to think about anything other than the torment her closeness is bringing on me.
She smiles softly. “You know, when I lost my family, I thought my life had ended. What was the point anymore, and I never thought anything good would ever happen again? Yet the last three weeks have shown me that even when you’re at your darkest point in life, there is always a sliver of sunlight lighting up a corner and drawing you out. I’m happy I found you all and if I’m a little overwhelmed, it’s not because I don’t thank God every day for sending me here. It’s just a lot to take in and I’m trying to juggle a lot of emotions right now.”
I try to speak but can’t form the words. Seeing Summer against the wall looking so sad makes my heart break. I know she is lost and searching for a way out of her grief and if I was a decent person, I would push aside my infatuation and help her come to terms with it.
I ache for her so much I feel physically weak. I’m itching to move across and take her fragile body in my arms and hold her so tightly I’ll never let her go. Then Charlie ruins everything by slamming his door shut and smirking as he sees us. He passes Summer and pulls her in for a hug and says lightly, “Looking hot, Sis. You sure you should be going out dressed like that?”
He grins as she laughs softly. “I’ll wear what I like, Charlie and yes, I should be going out d
ressed like this. In fact, if I’m not mistaken, I think I just heard a car outside which is probably Tracey.”
I look at her sharply. “What, you’re driving?”
She laughs. “No, Uncle Jimmy is giving us a ride to the station. We’ll get the train into town.”
Charlie catches my eye and frowns and I say bluntly, “We’ll drop you there.”
Summer looks worried. “No, I told you we’re getting the train.”
Charlie says softly, “Non-negotiable, love. You’re not getting the train looking like that. In fact, even if you wore jeans and a hoody you wouldn’t be getting the train. Max and I will drop you at the door and pick you up later.”
Summer frowns and starts toward the stairs. “We’ll see about that.”
Charlie grins as she storms off and I raise my eyes. She’ll soon learn not to go against us because we always get our own way.
By the time we get downstairs, I hear raised voices coming from the kitchen as Summer tells Joey what we said. Charlie grins as we push inside the room side by side and watch with amusement the power play before our eyes. Summer’s eyes flash as Joey shrugs. “I don’t see what the problem is, love. Surely, it’s better to hitch a ride with family than sweat it out on the train. No, in this case, the boys are right. It’s safer for you and Tracey.”
Mum shakes her head and looks at Summer sympathetically. “Sorry, love, the boys are right. I know it’s annoying but London isn’t the safest place for a young girl out on her own.”
Summer says in exasperation. “I won’t be on my own. I’ll be with Tracey and then we’re meeting her friends.”
Joey’s eyes narrow. “What friends?”
Summer shakes her head and holds up her hands in defeat. “Fine, take us but if you step one foot inside that place, I’m leaving by the back door. I just want a night out with friends and no drama.”
Joey nods and throws us his car keys. “Take the Range Rover, lads. It will be more comfortable than those sports cars you prefer.”
Bad Decision: The Carter Brothers Page 7