by Nalini Singh
But how she'd missed him, especially on the weekends when she'd gone out and seen couples strolling along the streets. She wondered if Caleb had heard more than what she'd said at dinner. Maybe, just maybe, her steamroller of a husband had heard the whispers of her heart.
* * *
Caleb roused to find Vicki's side of the bed empty. From the smell of coffee wafting into the bedroom, he guessed where she was. Smiling, he got out of bed feeling better than he had in years. Patience, he decided, was definitely a virtue. Look at what he'd been rewarded with last night.
Because he knew his wife's love of keeping all the windows open, he pulled on a pair of sweatpants before wandering out. Victoria was putting away a dish when he entered. The second she saw him, her eyes went huge.
"What?" He yawned, lifting his arms above his head in a lazy stretch.
Vicki stared at him, her lips parted. His sleepy brain finally figured out the matter with her. Apparently, his wife liked the sight of him sleep-mussed and drowsy. Maybe he should stop getting ready in the mornings before he came out for breakfast. With that thought, he bridged the gap between them and put his hands on her hips. "Good morning."
"It's almost noon." Her voice was breathy, her hands playing through the hair on his chest.
"Perfect time for almost-noon sex, don't you think?" After over two months of celibacy, his body had had a taste of paradise and wanted more. A lot more.
However, in spite of his sensual happiness, he wasn't blind to the fact that their marriage remained on shaky ground. Vicki had been right when she'd said they couldn't solve all their problems in bed.
What she hadn't said, what she probably couldn't see, was that if he was bad at sharing his darkest secrets, she was even worse. Though he'd never told her the ultimate shame of his birth, he'd tried to show her the reality of where he came from and how it had shaped him, scarred him.
But every time he tried to raise the same issues with her, she pretended she didn't know what he was talking about, pretended that her parents leaving her with Ada had had no impact. She might have confessed to him about her fears regarding intimacy but she wasn't even willing to call her relationship with Danica and Gregory a problem.
He didn't know how to make her see that those wounds needed to be lanced. It hurt her so much whenever he brought up the topic that he had no heart to force her to confront it. All he could hope for was that if he loved her body enough, she'd slowly start to trust him with her soul and her memories, too.
With that thought in mind, he dropped a hand down to curve over her pert bottom, covered by the soft fabric of her knee-length sundress—with the sun streaming brightly through the kitchen skylight, it was more than warm enough. "We don't want to lose our momentum."
She swallowed and he realized that he hadn't made love to her in the middle of the day for years. That was about to change. His erection was fierce and demanding. He wanted to be inside her, feeling her squeeze him as he moved slow and deep. Maybe he could get her to speak to him as she had last night—with her hands and the sensually explicit movements of her body. Or maybe she'd finally trust him enough to talk about far darker things.
As if she could read the images in his mind, those eyes got even bigger. "You look like you want to devour me."
"I do." He glanced past her shoulder to the window above the sink, which looked out over their small side yard and into their neighbor's property, a scandalous idea coming to him. It would shock Vicki's socks off but he was starting to understand that she'd always been far more gutsy than he'd given her credit for.
It was time to stop backing off and start showing her who he really was, start demanding things from her that he needed, sexually and emotionally. Before she could begin to suspect anything, he misdirected her attention by the simple expedient of kissing her.
"Mmm." She purred into his mouth, giving her all to the kiss as she always did.
Squeezing her bottom, he let her play with him, let her kiss him the way she wanted. He loved Vicki's kisses, especially the way she put her soul into every brush of lips and tongue. When she broke the kiss to caress his jaw with her lips, he made his move.
Kissing her neck, he turned her until she faced the window. Then he pushed her just a little. She instinctively braced herself against the edge of the counter, her gaze looking through the window above the sink and into the yard. He stroked her bottom, kissed her nape and grinned.
"Caleb," she whispered. "I need you." It was her way of telling him to get them out of the kitchen and into the privacy of their bedroom. But Caleb wanted to play.
Out of the corner of his eye, he saw their neighbor's back door open and someone step onto the patio. Before he could be spotted, he knelt down behind Vicki and slipped his hands under her dress to pull down her panties.
Startled, she almost turned but her attention was caught by Bill, their middle-aged neighbor.
She waved in greeting before hissing, "What are you doing? Bill—"
"Can't see me," he completed. "Pretend you're doing the dishes."
"While you do what?" She stepped out of her lace panties even while she protested.
Breathing in the scent of her, Caleb pushed up her dress, flattened one hand on her belly and tasted her like he'd been wanting to do since forever. From the first stroke, he knew he was a goner. She gave a soft shout and her whole body shuddered. "Caleb, I can't—"
"Sh." He blew a breath against her sensitive flesh. "Don't give away the game." Knowing he was being a merciless tease, he flicked his tongue along her exposed flesh, then nipped gently with his teeth. Her thighs trembled as the addictive flavor of her settled on his tongue and in his mind. This wasn't something he was going to get enough of, ever. Certainly it wasn't something he wanted to rush. The delight of her had to be savored.
Her breathing was jerky and he knew she was having trouble maintaining control. "Caleb—" Her sentence ended in an abrupt sob as he slid his tongue inside her. Her whole body started to shake.
Giving her a moment's relief, he pulled out and nipped at her bottom. "Is he looking your way?"
"No." She crumpled into his arms. "I'm going to kill you."
"First let me finish what I started." His fingers slid into her sweet flesh, stroking. "I want to taste you some more."
All her breath left her. She arched up and made no protest when he laid her out on the white tile of the kitchen floor, protecting her bare bottom by cupping it in his hands as he raised her to his lips. "Mercy," he said, as her scent ensnared him once more. But mercy was the last thing he wanted.
Victoria gave herself up to Caleb. He'd tried to love her this way at the start but she'd frozen, terrified of the passion that had begun to boil in her blood. Nothing he'd said or done had soothed. So he'd never asked that of her again.
A whimper escaped her throat as he suckled at her flesh, sending her nerves screaming. The muscles on her abdomen grew painfully taut as she closed her eyes to fight the building explosion. It was too much. She wouldn't survive.
"Let go," Caleb whispered, and she felt his hair brush her stomach as he pushed her dress farther up and kissed her navel. His kisses began trailing back down and this time, he wasn't playing. "Please let go."
It was the rough please that broke through the last of her reticence. With a soft scream, she felt her back lift off the floor as she let him overwhelm her senses. Behind her closed eyelids, lights exploded in a thousand colors. She couldn't stand the extremity of the pleasure, couldn't bear it.
Gasping, she tried to tell Caleb but he was already there, taking her lips in a kiss that gave her even more pleasure and yet also gifted her with the strength to ride the firestorm. Last night he'd been patient, so beautifully patient, but today he was asking her to hold up her end of the bargain, to give him the passion she'd withheld for so long. Lost in the hunger of his kiss, she could do nothing else but surrender.
* * *
When she finally blinked her eyes open, she found herself being ca
rried to the bedroom. "Now you want a bed," she managed to tease.
Desire clouding his eyes, he grinned. "I didn't want to give you bruises. I'm feeling energetic."
"Caleb!" It was impossible to contain her laughter in the face of the unusual spark of mischief in his eyes.
He set her down gently on the bed. "I love your laugh." It was a quiet declaration.
Stunned, she held out her hands. He kept surprising her. Just when she thought she knew all she could about him, he came up with something so tender it broke her heart into a thousand pieces. "I miss you."
Holding her gaze, he shucked his sweatpants and got into bed beside her, one big hand stroking down her thigh as he bent his head to place a kiss on the exposed skin of her throat. Her dress was light but it felt too confining. When she wiggled, he raised his head. "What's the matter?"
"I want to take off this dress." She blushed. It was silly to blush after everything they'd done together but she'd always been shy about undressing in front of Caleb.
His eyes skimmed over her body. "I want to see you take it off." It was a challenge, but more than that, it was a request.
There was nothing she wanted more than to give him what he needed. But as Caleb himself had said, the habits of a lifetime couldn't be so easily forgotten. She wasn't some bold temptress; she was a woman accustomed to holding back.
Biting her lower lip, she pushed at his chest until he moved aside. In his eyes she saw nothing but patience. Once she was on her knees, she smoothed the dress over her thighs, feeling the heels of her feet against the bare skin of her buttocks. "Caleb?"
He spoke from behind her. "Yeah?"
"You have to keep helping me. Okay?" It was becoming easier each time she asked, because she was starting to learn that Caleb wouldn't deny her requests. Unlike the people who'd shaped her childhood, he'd never ignore her needs and tell her to toughen up.
"Always." He moved around until he was kneeling in front of her. "Close your eyes."
She let her lashes flutter shut. Then she lifted her fingers to the back zipper of her dress. Caleb's arms came around her as he helped her lower the fastening. She breathed in the warm, masculine scent of him and allowed her body to soften in pleasure. She'd come this far and was now tempted to push forward.
Caleb pulled away once the zipper was open and she knew what he was waiting for. Her husband wanted to see her undress in front of him. For most husbands and wives, it was an intimacy they took for granted. But for Caleb and Vicki it was so much more. Eyes still closed, she slid the straps down her arms and off her fingertips.
"You're wearing a bra." Caleb's voice was a caress in the darkness of her mind.
Not seeing him watching her made this easier. And yet, it turned the mood from hot to scorching. "They're starting to ache if I don't."
A fingertip traced the lace edges of her bra, shocking her with unexpected pleasure. "I like seeing you in satin and lace."
Her breath rushed out of her. Satin and lace. She'd never have guessed that her tough, practical husband would enjoy such a thing. "Shall I…?"
"Yes."
Reaching back, she undid the hooks and started to slide the straps down. Suddenly struck by remnants of her inhibitions, she stopped, far too aware of the dress pooled around her waist and the man watching her.
"I'll wait forever if you need me to."
How did he know exactly what to say to melt every one of her defenses? With a deep breath, she pulled off the bra and dropped it on the bed. Feeling more naked than she ever had before, she sat in place, listening, waiting, anticipating.
But nothing could have prepared her for the hot rush of Caleb's mouth on her breast. She cried out as he wrapped his hands around her waist and bent his head. The raw silk of his hair moving against her flesh clashed wildly with the scrape of his unshaven jaw and the tug of his teeth.
With her eyes closed, she was drowning in the sensations. She wanted to luxuriate in them. Her hands clenching in his hair, she lifted her lashes and found herself lost. Now she could see what she'd only felt—the golden heat of Caleb's skin, the sheen of wetness on her breasts as he moved his attention from one to the other, the utter pleasure on his face.
Tugging his head up, she tried to claim his lips in a kiss. When he wouldn't cooperate, she made a frustrated sound and uncurled her legs to grip him around the waist, her arms tight around his neck. She got her kiss. It had been a last desperate attempt to find some sort of anchor and it failed miserably as Caleb took merciless advantage of her wide-open position.
Pushing his hands under the bunched-up sundress, he started to slide her down onto him. She gasped. They'd never made love this way before—it felt as if he was invading her, going so far that she shuddered. "Too deep."
"Are you sure?" He paused and started to suckle at her neck.
She rocked toward him and felt him tense. Inside her body, he seemed to grow impossibly harder. Fascinated, she rocked again. This time, his hands tightened on her waist and he raised his head. "Vicki." Grit out between clenched teeth, it was almost a growl.
She'd never made him sound that way. Suddenly he wasn't too deep. He was perfectly, wonderfully deep. Putting her hands on his shoulders, she held his gaze and pushed down. He groaned and his head dropped back, the tendons on his neck standing out in stark relief.
Scared by her own temerity but having starved for this moment, she started to move. Her fear of doing something wrong was nothing compared to the need she had to bring Caleb to the brink of ecstasy. She'd spent her marriage thinking she'd failed in bed with her virile husband. No way was she going to let this opportunity pass.
"Slow down." He buried his face in her neck, but didn't attempt to stop her quickening rhythm.
Taking her cue from his body, not his words, she did the opposite. His shoulder muscles tensed and untensed repeatedly as he ran his hands up and down her body. She could feel him riding the limits of control, feel him start to lose his mind and the woman in her rejoiced.
Tugging at his hair, she met his lips in a kiss designed to push him over the edge. She knew precisely what Caleb liked. So she bit at his lower lip, tugged it into her mouth, released it and did it again. His eyes were closed tightly by the time she began sucking on his tongue.
She was so into the kiss that she didn't realize he'd moved one of his hands between them until it was too late. He touched her just the way she liked, just the way he'd teased her into showing him the night before. She broke. But so did he.
* * *
Nine
« ^ »
Four hours later, they were walking through Mission Bay, having driven there looking for a nice place in which to have something to eat. After the wildness of their lovemaking, Caleb had helped her prepare a quick meal but they were both getting hungry again. Vicki couldn't care less where they ate—she was simply delighted to be out with her husband on a lazy Saturday afternoon.
"Do you want to grab something and go sit on the beach?" Caleb asked.
She looked across the road to the park abutting the sandy beach. "Sounds good. It's not too cold." Dressed in jeans and a thick, cable-knit sweater in sky-blue, she wasn't feeling the chill wind cutting off the sea.
Caleb pulled out the car keys from his jeans. "Why don't you go get the picnic thing you put in the trunk and I'll grab something. Meet you over there." He pointed to a sunny spot. "Any preferences?"
"You choose." Taking the keys, she paused for an instant, then stood on tiptoe and quickly kissed him on the mouth before walking away. Such a small action but something she'd never have done before, believing public gestures of affection to be "inappropriate." Sometimes, she hated her grandmother, but she didn't want to think about that today.
Reaching the place where they'd parked the car, she opened the trunk and grabbed the picnic set she'd put in there months ago in the vain hope that Caleb would get the hint. That he'd remembered was a very good sign, she thought, locking the car. The small basket contained plates, eat
ing utensils and a thin blanket to sit on.
She got to the beach before Caleb, her mind on the last time they'd done this. It had been the weekend after he'd won a big case three years ago. With a smile, she remembered him completely burning everything on the barbeque because she'd distracted him with her tiny, flame-red bikini—it had taken her hours to work up the nerve to expose the outfit he'd teasingly bought for her months before. They'd ended up eating meatless burgers because the isolated beach they'd gone to was too far from any shops. And for once, she'd known she'd pleased her husband.
Flicking out the blanket, she sat and put the basket on one edge to keep it from lifting in the soft breeze. As she waited for him to arrive, she people-watched. From the inline skaters on the sidewalks to the families in the park, the area bubbled with energy.
One mother was throwing a ball to her laughing toddler, both of them wildly amused by the child's antics. Vicki found herself grinning along with them until her eyes fell on the man she guessed to be the father. He was sitting nearby but with a cell phone to his ear and an open briefcase beside him. Now and then, the woman would look over at him as if inviting him to join in the fun but he seemed barely aware of her or the child's presence.
A shadow fell across the blanket and a second later Caleb joined her, holding a pizza carton, cans of soda and what looked to be a foil-wrapped loaf of garlic bread. "What's got you so interested?" he asked.
"Nothing." She looked away but he'd already followed her gaze. Neither of them said anything as she opened the pizza box, propping the lid to keep the breeze from blowing sand into it. While she unwrapped the garlic bread, Caleb popped the cans of soda.
They'd both started to eat when Caleb spoke again. "Is that what you're afraid will happen with us?"
She couldn't be anything but honest. "Yes. But you're trying, honey, I know. I mean, we have this whole weekend."
"One weekend in a couple of months isn't going to cut it, is it, Vicki?" Those clear hazel eyes were so intense she felt as if he could see into her soul.