When it’s her turn she comes running toward me. She shows no fear and jumps right into my lap. “Have you been a good girl, Dakota?”
She nods, “Bery, bery good.” Dakota smiles up at me, her blue eyes shining bright. She points straight ahead. “Das my mommy. Hi, Mommy.” I turn to see where she’s pointing and freeze.
Chapter Four
Aspen
I move through the other parents to get to the front while pulling out my phone. Dakota points to me and when Santa turns my way, I watch his body stiffen and can see his lips mouth my name.
I try to look closely at him, but his costume hides part of his face. He looks down at my daughter and smiles as she talks, waving her arms, and telling tales, I’m sure. I take their picture and then Dakota takes the gift and candy cane from the elf.
With her stuff in hand she slides off Santa’s lap and runs toward me. I scoop her up in my arms. “Oh, my goodness, what do you have there?” I take her off to the side as everyone says bye to Santa.
“I’s got pwesents.” Dakota thrusts her wrapped present in my face.
“Wow, I see that. Are you ready to go bye-bye?” I grab her coat and am getting ready to put it on her when a woman comes toward us.
She’s got blonde hair that is cut in a long bob. Her blue eyes remind me of my daughter’s. “Hi, I just wanted to say that her dress is adorable. She reminds me of my daughter when she was that age.” She holds out her hand. “I’m Ripley.”
I stand to full height and take her hand in mine. “Hi and thank you. I’m Aspen and this is my daughter, Dakota.”
Ripley squats in front of my girl. “Dakota, that’s a very pretty name.”
“Das because my mommy made it.” She smiles up at me and as always, I can’t believe I made this precious girl, and she’s all mine.
“Well, I think she did an excellent job.” Ripley stands up and smiles at me. “My son says he knows you. He’s asked you to wait. He’ll be right out.”
That’s weird, but maybe it’s someone that’s come through the recovery room. It doesn’t happen often, but only because they’re usually out of it. “Oh, okay sure.”
The girl dressed as the elf comes over. “Hi.” She says in a bubbly voice. “I love your dress.” The elf says to my daughter.
“Aspen?” I turn toward the male voice behind me. The room is suddenly hot, my chest is tight, and it feels like there’s a knot in my throat. “Oh my god, it is you.”
A strange buzzing sound drowns out his words. I grab onto Dakota and try to get myself under control. Jesus, I can’t believe Alex is in front of me again, after all this time.
“Aspen, are you okay?” He steps closer, concern etched all over his face.
I force the knot down in my throat and take a deep breath, letting it out slowly. The woman, Ripley, gets close and puts her hand on my back. “Nice and slow, sweetheart. You’re okay.”
“T-Thank you.” I whisper. “Y-You live here?” I ask turning to Alex.
“Yeah, born and raised. You lived in Chicago, right?” I nod, “When did you move here?”
“Ahem . . . two months ago. I work at the—at the hospital.” I don’t really want to tell him right here, right now, that Dakota is his daughter.
“Hi. I’m Dakota. Was youw name?” My daughter smiles up at him and my heart beats rapidly in my chest.
Alex gets down on one knee in front of her. “I’m Alex.” He holds out his hand to her and she takes it. My eyes burn, watching them.
“Oh my god.” I hear whispered behind me. I know it’s Ripley, and I know she figured it out.
Alex stands up and looks between me and his mom. “What’s going on?” Neither of us speak. “Seriously guys what’s going on?”
“Why don’t we go outside,” Ripley says and then takes Dakota’s coat from my hands and puts it on her. We all head out to the parking lot. Thankfully, it’s cold, but not unbearable. “Mara, honey. Why don’t you take Miss Dakota here to our car?” Ripley turns back to me. “Is that okay? I’m not trying to take over.” The younger girl disappears with my daughter.
“Please tell me what’s going on.” Alex says looking between us.
Ripley excuses herself, leaving us alone. “I-I never thought I’d see you again.” I tell him. “I’m sorry I left without saying goodbye. I’d never had a one-night stand before.”
“Okay, I know that. I never thought bad of you if that’s what you’re thinking.”
I need to just blurt this out, like ripping a band-aid off. “If I was ever face to face with you again, I had this whole speech prepared, but now I can’t remember one single thing I would say.” My mouth opens and closes a few times before I spit it out. “Dakota’s your daughter.”
Alex doesn’t say anything, just stares at me. Before I can even say anything else, he’s walking away from me. He hops into a truck and is pulling out of the parking lot before my feet finally become unstuck.
With tears burning my eyes, I quickly go to my daughter, and pick her up. “L-Let’s go home, baby.”
“Aspen, please don’t leave. He’s just in shock.” Ripley says as she walks beside me, but I look straight ahead, trying and failing to ignore the other woman. “I’ll talk to him.”
I quickly load Dakota into her booster seat and after I close the door, I finally turn to face her. “No, please don’t. If he doesn’t want to know her, then he doesn’t know her. We’ve been fine on our own.”
“Oh, sweetheart I can see that b-but please, he’s just in shock.”
“Rip, what’s going on?” An older man with brown hair and eyes comes walking toward us. “Everything okay?”
“Brock this is Aspen. Aspen this is my husband and Alex’s father, Brock.” I shake the man’s hand. “We’re fine honey. I’ll be back in, in a minute.”
The girl, Alex’s sister, jumps on Brock’s back and he carries her back into the building. “If you’d like to get to know Dakota, I’m okay with that.” I tell Ripley.
We exchange phone numbers. “Great, I’ll call you and we can meet for lunch.” She knocks on the window. “Bye, Dakota, I can’t wait to see you again.”
“Bye wady!” She waves wildly from the backseat, making me smile. “Les go, Mommy.”
Ripley backs away and I climb in. Luckily, I wait until Dakota is tucked into her bed later before I cry, because yeah, it was a one-night stand, but we made a pretty incredible little girl and he doesn’t care.
At least she’s got a grandma, who seems jazzed about knowing her. We’ve made it this far without Alex, we certainly don’t need him now.
Chapter Five
Alex
I let myself inside my house, walking numbly into the kitchen, and leaning against the counter. A daughter, I have a little girl. There was no question that she’s mine. She is my sister at that age.
The night I met her, Aspen’s seat was next to mine at Pearl Jam. The moment she walked up with her friends I was under her spell. Her sable colored hair hung down her back in loose waves. She was wearing an old, faded concert t-shirt and jeans that fit her like a glove.
We just started talking—it wasn’t about anything specific it was just two people shooting the shit. She was super funny and when she cried while Eddie sang Black, I grabbed her and kissed her.
When the concert was over, we both ditched our friends, well not really ditch, but we went off on our own. I brought her back to my hotel room. I thought we were safe, but nothing is a hundred percent effective, I guess.
In the morning I woke up, and she was gone. I can’t believe she’s here in Aldridge. Holy fuck, I had my daughter on my lap, smiling at me. Fuck, I shouldn’t—
“Dude, what the fuck was that,” Tyler says as he and Cameron come barging in, interrupting my thoughts. “You have a kid?”
I tell them about meeting Aspen, and I hadn’t seen her until today. “She told me and then I fucking left.” I shake my head. “I freaked out and panicked.”
“Are you sure it’s your kid?�
� Cameron asks, getting down on the floor to give Tiny some belly rubs.
“Did you not see her. She looks like Mara,” Tyler says to him before looking back at me. “What are you going to do?”
“Easy, find her and ask her to forgive me for leaving like an idiot. I want to meet my daughter.”
Yes, I’m freaked out, but not enough to keep me away from them any longer. Aspen and me may have only known each other for one day, but there was a lot of chemistry between us.
“How was Mom after I left?” I ask them.
Cameron stands up. “Freaking out a little, but so damn happy about having a granddaughter to spoil. Dad has questions, of course.”
I need to call Mom and get Aspen’s number, then call her, and ask her to forgive me for taking off.
I excuse myself and step into the kitchen.
Mom answers on the first ring. “I’m not sure if I want to speak to you today.” Of course, she’s pissed at me.
“Mom, I just need Aspen’s number and if I know you, you got it. Please, I need to speak to her, I feel terrible about how I reacted.”
She reluctantly gives me the phone number. “Alexander Karel James, you better not screw this up. That’s my granddaughter and Aspen was gracious enough to invite me to get to know her.” It’s never good when she busts out the full name.
“I swear I’m going to make it right.” I wince, remembering the look on Aspen’s face when I looked in my rearview mirror before I drove away from her. “I-I have a kid.” I lower my voice. “What do I do, Mom?”
“You know I can’t answer that. Only you can decide what you want from this, but I will say this—if you don’t want to be involved, don’t contact her. Don’t meet that little girl if you plan on walking away.”
I rub a hand over my chest after I hang up. She’s right, I shouldn’t meet her unless I’m a hundred percent sure I want to be her dad. Of course, I don’t know how much Aspen will let me be involved.
That’s why I need to talk to her. Before I lose my nerve, I dial her number.
“Hello?” Fuck, I like the sound of her voice; its soft, almost lyrical.
I take a deep breath, “Ahem . . . hey Aspen, it’s Alex. Please don’t hang up,” I plead. “I-I wanted to apologize for taking off earlier. I was just in shock and I panicked. It’s no excuse, but I’d like to get together and talk. I’d like to meet her, but only when you’re ready to let that happen.”
I’m met with silence and I’m almost worried she hung up, but then she speaks. “I think talking is a good idea. I’m off for the next three days. Let’s meet tomorrow, talk, and then we’ll talk about what’s next.”
I let out my breath slowly. “That’s great. I have to work tomorrow, but I can meet you during my lunch break.”
“How about we meet at the coffee shop that’s by the police station. Umm . . . I guess just text me or call me when you know what time you want to meet.” Again, Aspen is quiet and I’m beginning to think she hung up, but then, she speaks. “I’m glad you called. I know we don’t know each other, but the man I met four years ago didn’t seem like the type who would’ve just walked away, and I’m glad I was right.”
“I won’t lie, I’m scared, freaked out, and out of my element here, but I promise you I will make this right.”
I step into the Pancake House and spot Aspen sitting at a booth by the window. She waves and I make my way over to her. I knew she was beautiful, but damn, Aspen’s a knockout. Her dark brown hair is in a braid that hangs over her shoulder and is covered by a cream-colored knitted hat with one of those brown pom poms on top.
“Hey, thanks for meeting me.” I tell her as I take a seat across from her. It’s a bit of a tight fit, with my gear on, but I’m used to it.
“Of course. I’m glad you wanted to meet.” Our waitress takes our order and then disappears. Aspen turns back to me. “I guess I’ll start from the beginning. That night I swear I thought we were careful. Ummm . . . I guess it’s the old cliché, I woke up one morning and threw up. I knew right then I was pregnant.”
“I’ve never had a one-night stand before, and I-I didn’t know your last name, I had no way to find you. I certainly just planned on raising her alone.”
Aspen sets a tablet on the table. “I saved all of her photos on here.” She turns it on and then hands it to me.
The first several are her in various states of her pregnancy. I start looking through the next batch that are of Dakota as a newborn. She was a gorgeous baby, and maybe I’m just biased, but I doubt it.
Our drinks are delivered. “What was her birth like?”
“Honestly, easy. I went to a midwife who practiced hypnobirthing. It helped me to stay relaxed, letting my body do its job. I did yoga up until her birth too, which I think helped. She weighed seven pounds eight ounces.” She takes a drink of her coffee.
One thing I notice is that they’re both smiling in every picture. “When is her birthday?”
“She’ll be four February third.”
I nod, as I continue looking at photos. “If I would’ve known, I would’ve been there.”
“I know—I don’t know how, but I just do.” She has a lot more confidence in me then she should.
I pause on a picture that looks recent. Dakota is sitting on Aspen’s lap and they have their heads turned, looking at each other with big smiles on their faces. “She’s so beautiful.”
“She is. She’s such a good girl. Our daughter is very inquisitive and smart. I’ve been very lucky.”
Our waitress brings our food and we dig in. Conversation stalls and while I eat my burger I flip through more pictures. A warm feeling spreads through my body. My heart beats wildly in my chest, and I know what I want. “I’d like to meet her.”
She swallows the bite of her chicken strip and smiles. “That’s great. I’d love that. Would you like to come over for dinner tomorrow night? I want to talk to her about you tonight.”
“I’d love to.”
We finish eating and while she’s in the bathroom I pay the check. She comes back out and I help her with her coat. “I take it, you paid the bill.”
“I did, my mom would tan my hide if I didn’t.”
I lead her outside, stopping next to my patrol SUV. She turns to me. “Is there anything you won’t eat?”
“Nope, I’m easy.”
As she walks away, she hollers, “I’ll text you my address tomorrow.”
I give her a wave, before climbing into my Explorer and then pulling away. Tomorrow I get to meet my daughter—I can’t wait.
Chapter Six
Aspen
I step into Dakota’s doorway, watching as she plays with her baby doll. She’s obsessed with it, and carries it with her, just about everywhere. “Hey, baby.”
She smiles up at me. “Hi, Mommy. I pway wif my baby.”
I get down on the floor next to her. Leaning down I kiss the top of her head, inhaling the scent of the baby shampoo I use on her—oh hell, I won’t lie, I use it too. My hair has never looked better.
“Baby, I wanted to talk to you about something that’s very exciting.” I’m not sure how she’s going to react, because she hasn’t really asked about her dad, but I’m hoping this will be something great for her.
“What, Mommy?”
I pull her onto my lap. “Something really awesome happened.” Dakota looks up at me “I found your daddy and he wants to meet you.”
She doesn’t say anything at first, maybe she’s trying to process what I just told her. “I have a daddy?” she whispers.
“You do, and he’s so glad I found him.” I wrap my arms around her, hugging her tight. “He’d like to come meet you. What do you think of that?”
Dakota throws her arms around my shoulders. “Yay! I’m happy, Mommy.” I don’t know how much she truly understands, but the smile she’s wearing makes me feel good.
“What should we have for dinner tomorrow?”
“Pasketti and bwead.”
That’s easy e
nough and I can throw it in the crock pot, letting it cook while I clean up after picking her up from school.
I lift her off my lap, kiss the top of her head one more time before standing up. In the living room I finish folding laundry while the TV plays softly in the background.
I hope tomorrow goes well.
I stick the salad in the refrigerator, and then give the spaghetti a stir, in the crockpot. In the living room Dakota sits on the couch watching a cartoon. This visit isn’t about me so I am just wearing a pair of old comfy jeans, you know that one pair that is so worn that they’re threadbare in parts, and ready to fall apart, but you can’t bear to throw them out yet because they fit you like a glove.
Up top I’m wearing just a plain black and white baseball shirt. My hair is hanging down my back with the front tied up in a little knot on top of my head, and my face is free of makeup.
I check the time and see that Alex should be here any time now. My heart beats rapidly in my chest and I have to stop myself from looking out the front window. My girl is oblivious to my nerves—I just want them to like each other.
The knock on the door makes me jump. I take a deep breath, rubbing my sweaty palms on the thighs of my jeans. I get up and go to the door, peaking outside to make sure it’s him and I’m struck by his male beauty.
I know that sounds weird to say, but he is beautiful. His dark blond hair is shaved close on the sides and a little longer on top. He’s got a slight five o’clock shadow that takes his boy next door good looks, turning him into a sexy bad boy.
Last night I used my vibrator and him in his uniform was the visual aid that I needed to get me there. It’s so pathetic, but what’s a single girl to do? It’s cold out so I hurry and open the door. “Hi.” Real original, I know. “Come on in.”
Alex brushes past me and his woodsy scent hits me, making me tingle. Ugh . . . I need to stop, he’s not here for me.
I shut the door and watch Alex walk over to Dakota, who is looking up at him. I open my mouth to make the introductions, but my daughter decides to do it herself.
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