“I wish you would,” she replied with a slow grin. “I feel like I’ve been riding a roller coaster since I met you.”
One corner of his mouth curved upward. “That makes two of us.”
“What are we doing, Keith?” she asked. “I’m not trying to pressure you. I just need to know. Is this just fucking?”
“I thought you hated dirty words.”
“I do,” she said. “But if that’s all this is, there’s no point in sugarcoating it.”
“Is that what you think this is?” he asked.
“No,” she replied. “It’s never felt like that with you. What we just did and how we did it was really naughty”—she blushed—“but in a fun way. It didn’t feel cheap or dirty.”
He grinned. “Maybe in time you’ll grow to like cheap and dirty.”
“Maybe,” she said. “But one step at a time, right?”
“Yes, Aiwattsi.” He stroked the backs of his fingers over her cheek. “One baby step at a time.”
She caught his hand and held it there, searching his eyes. “You never answered my question.”
“I didn’t think it deserved an answer. Do you think I would have come all the way here if all I wanted was a fuck?”
“No,” she confessed, her heart racing. “You’d never have to drive six hours for that. You could have any woman you wanted.” She knew it was true. His sex appeal was undeniable.
He slid his hand down her cheek to cup her chin. “Is that what you think?”
“Yeah, I do,” she replied softly.
He dipped his head and murmured against her mouth, “Would it surprise you to know the only one I’ve ever really wanted was you?”
* * *
Jo-Jo was peeling apples for a pie when Miranda entered the kitchen, feeling much like a dog with its tail between its legs. “I’m sorry, Jo-Jo.”
“For what you did or for getting caught doing it?” Jo-Jo asked.
“For disappointing you. I was so very happy to see him again. One thing just led to another.”
Her grandmother replied with a sympathetic smile. “You don’t have to apologize to me. I was once young and horny too. Hell, I was once old and horny. Now I’m just plain old. At least I’m not dead. I admit I was a bit shocked, but I should have seen this coming.”
“What do you mean?”
“You’re in love with him. It’s plain as the nose on your face. I just hope you’re not making a mistake. It’s never a good idea to get involved with people who work for you.”
“But it’s not like that, Jo-Jo. He came here because he wanted to help. He won’t take our money.”
“That does put things in a slightly different light.” She handed Miranda the peeler. “Would you finish these for me? I need to sit down for just a spell.”
“Sure,” Miranda replied, taking up an apple. “Are you feeling okay, Jo-Jo?” Miranda asked, noting her grandmother’s pale color.
“Just a tad under the weather,” she replied. “I’ve been a bit light-headed off and on for the past few days. It’ll pass if I just sit down for a bit.”
“Do you want a drink of water?”
Jo-Jo waved away the offer. “I’ll be fine in a minute. It’s nothing to be concerned about.”
“Have you seen a doctor?”
“Sweetheart. I’m just old,” Jo-Jo insisted. “There’s no pills to cure that.” Jo-Jo turned the conversation back on topic. “I’ll admit Keith wouldn’t have been my first choice for you.”
“Why not?” Miranda asked.
“I had hoped you’d hit it off with my handsome young attorney, Wade Knowlton, but I’m not going to judge a man I don’t even know. I’ll give Keith the benefit of doubt, because I know you’re not a fool.”
“I’m not sure how to take that, Jo-Jo.”
“I mean, I trust your good sense. I don’t believe you’d take up with someone who wasn’t worthy. I can see for myself that’s he’s a straight shooter. I respect that at least. He fessed up right away and shouldered the blame. That shows a protective streak. Coming here also proves he’s loyal. There’s another point in his favor.” She rose to pull the rib roast out of the oven. “How long does he intend to stay with us?”
“I’m not sure. He’s said he plans to leave right after we bring the horses in.”
“If all goes according to schedule, that’ll be right before Thanksgiving,” Jo-Jo remarked. “Do you think he’ll want to stay here with us for the holiday or spend it with his family?”
“I don’t know,” Miranda said. “Come to think of it, I don’t even know if they observe Thanksgiving on the reservation, do you? The Pilgrims’ arrival and establishment in the New World hardly seem a reason for them to celebrate.”
“I guess you’re right,” Jo-Jo said dryly. “I never thought of it that way.”
“I never did either, but I look at a lot of things differently since I met him.”
“Whether he celebrates it or not, I’m sure he won’t want to be by himself,” Jo-Jo said. “Judith and Robert are coming up. Judith almost had a heifer when I told her I wasn’t moving to Phoenix. I think she’ll try to bully me into changing my mind.”
“Have you told her about the mustangs yet?” Miranda asked.
“I mentioned it only in passing, but haven’t told her the rest yet. I’d rather wait and do it in person. Speaking of that, I could use some reinforcements. You can tell Keith if he wants to stay, I’ll make him the best damned stuffed turkey and pumpkin pie he ever ate.”
Miranda bit her lip. “So you’re really okay with him and me?”
“Sweetheart, I don’t have to love it to accept it. You’re a grown woman. I only ask for a little discretion. Silver Star is a very small town, and people love to gossip.”
Miranda kissed her grandmother’s cheek. “You have my promise.”
* * *
Keith took a quick shower and changed into his best shirt and a fresh pair of jeans. Hat in hand, he knocked on the front door, ready to do whatever he could to mend fences with Jo-Jo Sutton.
“C’mon in, Keith.” She beckoned him inside. “Miranda went upstairs to change. She should be down in a minute or two.”
He wiped his boots on the mat and followed her inside. “Miz Sutton—Jo-Jo,” he amended, “I really did mean what I said about leaving if I’ve offended you.” He hesitated. “Just say the word, and I’ll grab my things and go.”
“It’s all right, Keith.” She gave him a reassuring smile. “I was just taken off guard, but not really offended.”
“I wish I could promise you it won’t happen again, but…” He gave a fatalistic shrug. “I really can’t make that promise.”
“Miranda and I have already talked about it. What happens between the two of you is your business, as long as you’re discreet about it, and it doesn’t interfere with the running of this ranch.”
“It won’t. You have my word on that.”
“Your word is good enough for me.”
“Thank you, ma’am.”
“I hope you don’t mind eating in the kitchen,” she said. “I rarely use the dining room since my husband passed. When Miranda came to stay, I tried to switch back to using it, but she said she prefers the kitchen. It’s her favorite room in the house.”
“Me too,” he said. “I love the smells. I’ve always felt the kitchen was the heart of the home. I was raised by my grandparents and always used to sit with my grandmother while she made bread.”
“Does she like to bake?” Jo-Jo asked.
“Yes, but our bread is deep-fried rather than baked. Fry bread is a staple on the rez.”
“Then I’ll have to see if I can make you some. Do you have the recipe?”
“Actually, I do. Right here.” He tapped his head with a grin. “But don’t tell anyone. Where I grew up, men aren’t supposed to know anything about cooking.”
“Do you like to cook?” she asked.
“Sometimes. But I only know how to make a few of my favorite things.”
“Like what?”
“Mostly game dishes—venison, rabbit, elk, black bear. Bear is my specialty.”
“So you do a lot of hunting?”
“Yes. We stock the freezer with fish and game. We buy little meat.”
“Bud loved to hunt bighorn sheep,” she said. “Used to go every year with some buddies of his. We’ve got a whole trophy room, if you’d like to see it later.”
“I’d like that, Jo-Jo.”
“I didn’t get a chance to say so earlier, but I’m glad you’ve come, Keith.”
“I’m happy to help you out,” he said.
“But then you plan to leave again.”
“Yes.”
“Back to Wyoming? That’s a lot of distance to try to make a relationship work,” Jo-Jo remarked.
“It is,” he agreed. “I’m thinking about looking for some ranch work that’s closer.”
“Why not just stay on here?”
“I have some very good reasons for not accepting the job, Miz Sutton. Personal reasons.”
“If you’re serious about ranching, there’s an outfit about twenty miles down the way that’s probably looking. The Knowltons are raising some new hybrid cattle and might be needing some help come calving season. There are a few other places that always hire extra hands for branding. ’Course, that kinda work doesn’t pay a whole lot. If you wanted to reconsider staying on with us, I could try to make it worth your while.”
“I don’t need your money,” he said. “I have no debts and lead a very simple, uncomplicated life. I mostly work because I want to, not so much because I have to.”
“Oh?” Her brows rose inquisitively. Her gray eyes, so much like Miranda’s, pierced him with her next question. “Do you eventually plan to settle down somewhere?”
“Yes… Eventually. I’ve drifted mainly because I haven’t had a good reason to put roots down.”
“I saw your horse out in the small corral. He’s quite a looker.”
Keith breathed easier at the change of topic. “Looks are about all that horse has going for him at the moment,” he replied.
“What do you mean?” Jo-Jo asked.
“He’s been in captivity for over six months, and no one’s been able to do anything with him yet. I was planning to work with him in my spare time.”
“Are you talking about Blue Eye?” Miranda asked, entering the kitchen.
“Yes,” he replied, relieved that the grilling was over.
“I’d love to film you working with him. Would you mind?”
“No, I don’t mind.”
“Thank you,” she said. “Supper smells great, Jo-Jo. I’m starving.”
“I’m not surprised.” Jo-Jo flashed them both a mildly chastising look. “I’m sure you’ve both worked up quite an appetite.”
Chapter 25
Miranda exited the house the next morning with a thermos in one hand and a basket in the other. She was surprised to find Keith waiting on the front porch. “Keith! You missed breakfast. I’ve got some coffee and biscuits if you want them. I was just heading over to the bunkhouse to bring them to you. I thought maybe you’d overslept.”
“I’ve been up for about two hours,” he said.
“I don’t understand. Why didn’t you come inside?”
He shrugged. “Wasn’t real hungry, and once a day is enough to impose.”
“It’s not like that!” she protested. “Jo-Jo likes feeding people. In fact, I think she lives for it. But if it really makes you uncomfortable to come over in the morning, we can always go into town later and pick up a few groceries after I take care of the horses.”
“Already done,” he said. “I fed them all and turned the geldings out so we can get started on the fence. Have you ridden out and checked for weak places?”
“Yes. Jo-Jo and I already did that. We know exactly where the bad spots are. We’ll need to replace a few rotted posts and raise the perimeter fence height.”
“Do you want to ride out now to show me where those bad posts are?”
“Sure,” she replied. “That’s probably the best place for us to start.”
“How many need to be replaced?” he asked.
“About a dozen,” she replied.
“The ground’s probably too frozen to dig holes for wood posts, but I’m hoping I can still drive in some metal ones. Got any T-posts and a driver?”
“Yeah, in the workshop,” she said. “There’s a big stack of them.”
After loading up the utility cart with T-posts and tools, they rode out together on the ATV, her arms wrapped around his waist. It was bitter with the wind, but she hardly noticed in her excitement to show him the ranch.
“Our summer grazing’s on the eastern slopes.” She gestured to the nearby mountains as they pulled up to the first post that she and Jo-Jo had flagged with survey tape on their prior inspection. “We have river access on both the north and south boundaries, so we’ve never had to worry about water. You see how ideal this is for the horses?” Miranda gushed as she pointed out the boundaries of the place that had become her pride and joy.
“I can’t argue that,” Keith said. “It’s a shame she ever thought of selling it.”
“The very idea nearly broke my heart, but there’s no way she could have kept running it on her own.”
“She could have leased it out for the income,” he suggested.
“She had an offer to do that but refused. She said she couldn’t stand by and watch someone else run the place that had been hers for so long. She said she’d rather sell it outright, but she really didn’t want to do that either. It’s her home. And now it’s mine too. I love it here, Keith. I feel like I was always meant to be in this place.”
“That’s how I felt when I first arrived in Wyoming. Everything about it spoke to my heart.”
“But you don’t feel that way now?”
He sighed. “I don’t know anymore. I thought I did because I missed it so much, but when I went back, it all felt so different to me. Like I didn’t belong anymore. So many things have changed… I’ve changed.”
“Change isn’t always a bad thing,” she said. “Sometimes it hurts, but it’s also what helps us to grow. I’ve changed a lot too, and I’m much happier for it. I’ve always believed that everything occurs for a reason. Just look at how we met in Nevada. All of this was meant to happen… You and I were meant to happen.” She bit her lip, realizing she’d said too much, implied too much. “I didn’t mean to suggest…”
“I know what you meant,” he said. “I’ve had the same thoughts.”
“You have?” she said softly, watching him unload the posts.
“Yes,” he replied. “I don’t believe in coincidence either. Why do think I came?”
“I don’t know,” she replied, afraid to ascribe too much meaning to his words. She wondered if he’d pull back again. In the past, he’d let her get only so close before shutting her out.
He stood and pulled off a leather glove to touch her face. “Because I want to be with you, Miranda. I was about to drive all the way to California when I first called you. I’ve never felt this way about anyone before.”
Their eyes met. Her heart raced. She swallowed hard and whispered, “Me too. Not even close.” She laid a hand on his arm. “Please, Keith, why don’t you stay?”
He shook his head with a look of regret. “I just can’t. I’ve told you why.” He laid his bare hand on hers. It was still warm from the gloves. “Just give me some time, okay? This is new ground for me. I need to work all this out in my head.”
She returned a wistful smile. “Okay.”
For the next several hours they worked to reinforce the posts. Although it was cold enough to see their breath, Keith quickly worked up a sweat in his attempt to pound the posts into the frost-hardened ground. Panting from his exertions, he threw down the post driver with a muffled curse. “It’s no good. I can’t get deep enough. I’m just wasting energy and bending the posts.”
�
�Is there something else we could try?” Miranda asked.
“Yes. A hydraulic post driver,” he suggested. “It’s the only option.” He snatched up his discarded jacket, mouth compressed. “I don’t know why you couldn’t have waited until spring to do this.”
“Because the situation is urgent now,” she replied. “You know that as well as I do.”
“Urgent?” He tossed the bent posts back into the trailer with a mumbled curse. “I don’t think so. Look, you’re not saving the world here, Miranda. Hell, you’re not even really saving the mustangs. You’re only sticking your finger in the dike. I would have thought you’d understood that by now.”
“Maybe I can’t save the world, but at least I’m doing something instead of living in my own little bubble.”
His head snapped around. A scowl darkened his brow. “Is that what you think? That I live in a bubble?”
She jutted her chin. “I think you purposely hold yourself apart, just like that horse of yours, intentionally keeping everyone at a distance, when what you really need is right in front of you.”
“What makes you such an expert on what I need?”
“I can see that you aren’t happy. I know what I’m saying, because I was that way too until now—unhappy, restless, unfulfilled. Maybe you don’t want to admit it, but I think that’s the real reason you’re here. You want to feel a sense of purpose.”
“You sound just like my grandfather,” he scoffed. “He’s always preaching how every living thing has a reason for being.”
“You don’t agree with him?”
He shook his head with a snort. “If I did, then I’d have to accept that I’m the sole exception to the rule.”
“Just because you haven’t discovered your purpose yet doesn’t mean you don’t have one,” she argued.
Her words seemed to strike a raw nerve. His gaze hardened. He picked up the post driver and threw it into the cart. “We’re done here. Let’s go.”
His tense silence all the way back to the house told her he’d withdrawn, just as she’d feared he might, but if they were going to pursue a relationship, she needed to be free to speak her mind. She hoped he’d come to realize the truth of what she’d said. Either that or he’d pack up and leave. The thought filled her with dismay. She wanted him to stay, but not if she had to walk on eggshells just to keep him happy.
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