by Jewel E. Ann
Jessica heard every word Felicity said, but she couldn’t determine if they were words of wisdom or those of a mother trying to protect her child from any more pain.
*
Luke stood at the end of the dock, squinting against the cool, numbing breeze as the sun set behind a scattering of clouds suspended in the orangish-purple sky. He missed Levi every damn day.
New bro code: save the bro, kill the ho.
Levi would have laughed at that. He had the best sense of humor. The guy actually giggled like a girl. Luke gave him shit about it, but secretly he loved watching Levi laugh. At the same time, he was a total idiot—missing half of his classes to watch The Simpsons and lift weights. Levi looked like an ironman. He claimed muscles and an accent was all it took to get the ladies. Fran certainly helped prove his point.
“That blood on your hands …”
Luke sucked in a quick breath as Jessica’s voice drew near.
“… it never disappears. At best, you might be like me and find someone who loves you so completely that they see past that blood to the naked, untainted flesh beneath it.” She wrapped her arms around his waist, resting her cheek against his back.
He squeezed her hands. “I figured you’d be like everyone else and try to convince me that I’m not responsible for Levi’s death.”
“I suppose I should, but we both know I’m not like everyone else.”
“Amen to that.” He turned, holding her like the lifeline she was while releasing a long breath.
“Why didn’t you just tell me all of that a long time ago?”
“I would have, had our relationship not started out as doctor/patient. You were my focus and I needed you to trust and respect me enough to let me help you. I felt like sharing the weakest moment … the darkest time of my life would lessen my credibility as a psychiatrist.”
“But you told me to ask you anything.”
“I did.”
“Why?”
“Because you trusting me as the man who adores you beyond words has become more important to me than your opinion of Dr. Jones.”
“I think you overestimated my opinion of Dr. Jones.”
“I think you eat men’s egos for breakfast.”
Jessica smiled, looking up at him for a few seconds before it reversed into a frown. “I was rude to your parents. I think I need to apologize.”
“We were all rude to you.”
She took his hand, pulling him toward the house. “I hadn’t noticed.”
“Of course not … you were too busy planning your holiday getaway with your lover on his private island.”
She whipped around. “So you were paying attention.”
“I’m always paying attention … but only half of the things you say to me deserve a response.” He jerked his hand from hers then gave her a playful body check. She stumbled a few steps to the side.
“First one to the house gets to swim naked in the lake tonight,” he said, sprinting to the house.
“Dammit, Jones! You did not just shove me.”
He’d fallen hard for a fiery little woman, but he knew without looking back, she chased his ass with a huge grin on her face. Even if he didn’t die with her, he’d die loving her.
*
Jessica apologized to Felicity and Tom. They both dismissed it, insisting they were the ones who needed to apologize. After the truce, they ate lukewarm fajitas and finished the rest of the melted margaritas and browned guacamole.
“Luke’s jumping into the lake naked tonight. I think we all should.”
Luke choked on the last ounce of his drink while his parents smiled, eyes wide.
“I—it was a joke.” He cleared his throat.
“I’m in.” Felicity looked at Tom.
He winked at her, white teeth peeking through his boyish smile. Jessica hoped decades and a slew of kids later that Luke would still look at her that way.
“Great! We’re going to need blankets, a roaring fire in the back fire pit, and more alcohol.” Jessica stood with a slight wobble to her tequila legs.
“I’ll get the blankets and alcohol.” Felicity eased out of her chair with Tom holding her steady at the hips.
“Luke and I will start the fire.”
“No! No. No. No.” Luke shook his head. “Did you not hear me? It was a joke. There will be no jumping in the freezing lake naked. I am not … I refuse to get naked with my girlfriend and my parents. God … just no.”
“Come on, Son, live a little.”
Luke glared at Tom. “As a doctor I should warn you of the dangers. You could go into cardiac arrest or—”
Tom laughed. “I hate to disappoint you, but this isn’t my first skinny dip in the lake … not even my first this week.” He swatted Felicity on the ass. She blew him a kiss over her shoulder.
Luke remained glued to his chair at the table with his face buried in his hands.
“Oh my God!” Jessica giggled in Luke’s ear. “I love your parents so much.”
Luke looked up with a wrinkled, pleading look etched on his face. “Do you two jump in the lake naked with any of my siblings?”
Felicity tucked a six pack of beer between the pile of blankets. “No. But only because they’ve never suggested it.”
He glared at Jessica.
“This is happening … it was your idea. Don’t make promises you can’t keep. Now, up.” She tugged his arm until he lumbered to standing.
Surrounded by the chirping and rustling creatures of the night, they made their way down the hill to the fire pit Tom stoked to life with more kindling.
“Who’s going in first?” Felicity taunted her son with a sly grin.
“It should be Luke, but the stick in the mud is always the last one to join the party so …” Jessica shimmied out of her jeans.
“Jess, don’t … please.”
“Sorry.” She giggled. “I lost all inhibition three drinks ago, Jonesy.”
Top. Bra. Panties.
“Carpe diem!”
The air was cool in the lower fifties. The water—arctic. Rising to the surface, she gasped only to be greeted by Tom and Felicity midair, holding hands. Boobs, balls, and bare booties.
“Ahh!” A creature from the deep attacked her. “Oh my God, Luke.” She wrapped her arms around his neck. “I d-didn’t s-see you j-jump i-in.”
His bluish lips sucked on hers until their teeth chattered against each other. “F-fucking cold.” Luke grinned, his whole body shivering.
“Ten, nine, eight, seven, six, five, four, three, two, one … out!” Felicity yelled as she and Tom raced to the ladder on the dock.
Tom showed no signs of aging as he leapt up the ladder and helped Felicity out. Jessica and Luke quickly followed, all four staggering in a shivering race to the fire and blankets.
“H-here.” Felicity tossed Luke and Jessica a huge blanket. “W-wool.” She and Tom wrapped up together in the other blanket, plunking down in a chair by the fire.
As their bodies regained a bit of feeling, dodging hypothermia by mere seconds, Jessica started giggling. “We’re completely naked, wrapped in a blanket together four feet from your parents who are also naked, wrapped in a blanket together.”
Tom and Felicity shared her humor with big smiles while Luke rolled his eyes.
“My parents are pretty cool, but they would never do what we just did.”
“Hear that, Luke. Jessica thinks we’re cool.” Tom smirked.
“Yeah, Dad. Jumping in balls first, practically two feet from my girlfriend’s face … that’s real cool.”
The cackling around the fire pit grew with each new remark. Everyone had their own assessment of the sixty seconds of complete insanity. It may have been the cold water, the crisp fall air, the flicker of the flames, or the amazing company, but Jessica felt so alive. A weird feeling enveloped her for that small moment in time: normalcy.
“I love your son,” Jessica said with a soft voice.
Three sets of eyes fell onto her as the only s
ound that remained was the flames whispering into the night. Luke hugged her tighter to his naked body. It wasn’t sexual, it was natural, destined, perfect.
“He saved me from a dark place. He proved I’m worthy of love, physical touch, endearing words, and complete adoration.” She interlaced her fingers with his over her belly. “My best friend and I were kidnapped before our senior year in high school.”
“Jess …” Luke whispered.
She shook her head. A quivering smile tugged at her lips. “It’s okay.” Her hands squeezed his. “I’m … better now. I’m better because of you.”
He leaned forward and kissed her neck.
“Claire, my friend … she died. My innocence died that day too. To say I’ve had trust issues would be a monumental understatement. I’ve done some things that are truly unforgivable, even … unimaginable. But your son never wavered, not even a blink. Luke’s never looked at me as broken, even though I am. He’s just loved all my pieces—even the ones that have made him bleed.”
His parents had no reason to take her words literally and that was fine. They didn’t need all the details. Her confession of where she’d been and how far she’d come segued to the most sincere thank you ever.
“I know he doesn’t live in the ten-mile Jones radius with his own bed and breakfast. But thank you for letting him find his way in life … thank you for letting him find his way to me.”
The dam broke. Felicity didn’t even try to wipe her tears, she just let them stream down her face.
Fate. It was a mysterious concept, an unknown destination, and often a heartbreaking journey. For the first time since Claire died, Jessica saw a glimpse of light beyond the cold, eternal darkness. She hoped it was a new day—the dawn of forever.
Chapter Twenty-Four
Knight
Jillian and AJ headed south, running from the colder weather while keeping a good state or two between them and the West Coast. AJ’s body gained some strength, rebounding a bit since the radiation treatment. With that extra boost of strength came pain—debilitating, death-would-be-a-sweet-relief type of pain. Forty-eight hours after the last pain pills were taken, Jillian thought she would have to physically put him out of his misery for good. But she couldn’t … not to AJ.
“I’ll be right back,” she whispered to AJ as he thrashed in bed, releasing painful moans and grunts that broke Jillian—someone who was nearly impossible to break.
Grabbing her phone she stepped out of their hotel room into the hallway.
“If someone has a gun to your head, it serves you right for being so fucking far away from where I planted your ass.”
“I’m sure you wish someone had a gun to my head, McGraw¸ but that’s not why I’m calling. I need a favor.”
“Sorry, sweetheart, I’m all out of favors.”
“I’m sending you a photo of the label from a bottle of pain pills. I need refills … unlimited refills at the nearest pharmacy.”
“I’m not a doctor.”
“You have the power to make the fucking sun stop shining. Pills. Lots of them. Now.”
“I don’t like how you talk to me.”
“I didn’t like how you fucked me.”
The line went silent, but she knew he was still there.
“You’re wasting your time. Just put your highly-decorated sergeant out of his misery.”
“Time is all I have these days and you know that, asshole. There’s a Walgreens on the corner. Fifteen minutes.” Jillian pressed End.
As she opened the hotel room door, she heard a clattering of glass.
“What are you doing?”
AJ twisted the cap off a bottle from the minibar refrigerator and gulped it down then reached for another.
“Stop!” She grabbed it from him and shoved the rest of the bottles back in the refrigerator then slammed the door shut. “Twenty minutes. Give me twenty minutes and I’ll have some more pain meds for you. Okay?”
AJ sat back on the edge of the bed and pressed the palms of his hands into his eyes. “Fuck!”
Her heart felt like it could explode into tiny pieces from witnessing him in so much pain. “Twenty minutes. Stay out of the minibar.” She grabbed her purse and phone then raced out the door.
When she returned, AJ looked up at her from the bed, shaking and sweating.
“Here.” She helped him sit up and handed him two pills and a glass of water.
“How did you get these?”
“You don’t want to know.”
AJ nodded and swallowed the pills.
“Maybe I should take you back.”
The bloodshot glare from his tired eyes gave her real physical pain. She stared at the bottle of pills, contemplating how much longer she could go before needing to pop a few too.
“If you want to take me back…” he grimaced “…I understand. I know I’m asking for a lot. But if you’re asking if I want to go back, the answer is no.”
She gently pushed him back onto the pillow and crawled up beside him, resting her head on his arm, her hand over his heart. “Then we keep going.” Where they were going, she didn’t know.
“If you need to get back home—”
“Nope. I’m yours.”
She stayed by his side as he rolled and turned, flinched and shook with torment until the pain medication took hold and pulled him under. After sliding out of bed, she grabbed her phone and settled into the other bed.
Jillian: U awake?
Jackson: Am now.
Jillian: Sorry. Just wanted to let U know I’m OK.
Jackson: Where are you?
Jillian: Utah.
Jackson: WTF?
Jillian: AJ wanted to leave, but he doesn’t want to go back to Omaha.
Jackson: He’s running.
She smiled.
Jillian: He’s living.
Jackson: He’s dying.
Jillian: Aren’t we all? I need an escape, just while he sleeps. Make me lol.
Jackson: I’ve got nothing.
Jillian: BS – U always have something, Mr. Snuffleupagus.
Jackson: Ryn hits like a girl.
Jillian: I’ll remedy that when I get home. Not funny tho – try again.
Jackson: She doesn’t like pussy or cunt.
Jillian: I’m lol, but I don’t know why. R U telling me she’s not a lesbian?
Jackson: She doesn’t like the terms. Vagina, just vagina.
Jillian: Sounds like a boner-killer or “erection-killer”
Jackson: You’d think, but my penis still likes her vagina.
Jillian: The fun buzz is wearing off. Enough about you and Ryn’s genitals.
Jackson: Love you. Pissed as fuck that you left, but I still love you.
Jillian: Told U to make me lol not cry. <3 U 2! TTYL
“Pussy,” she whispered to herself with a big smile.
*
“You’re staring,” AJ said with his eyes still closed.
“Just making sure you’re still alive. Is that kind of gruesome?” She picked at the frayed knee of her jeans while sitting cross-legged on the bed beside him.
He peeked open one eye. “I wouldn’t expect anything less from you.”
“Do you think there’s a manhunt for you?”
“You make me sound like a criminal.”
“You did escape.”
He pushed himself into a sitting position with a grimace and a low groan. “I did, out the front door.”
“True. So are you hungry?”
“Not really, but I’m guessing you’re going to make me eat.”
Jillian leaned forward and kissed the corner of his mouth. “Yep.” She popped the p. “Continental breakfast near the lobby. Maybe they’ll have cloth napkins and it can be our first official date.”
“You and your cloth napkins. I don’t get it. You really don’t think we’ve had an ‘official’ date because we haven’t had cloth napkins?”
“How many times do I have to tell you? A girl’s gotta have standards.�
��
He eased out of bed wearing only half a grimace. It was progress. After a shower and packing up their minimal belongings, they ate breakfast sans cloth napkins and continued southeast, taking the byways through southeastern Utah into southwestern Colorado.
“Let’s stop here.”
“A brewery?”
“Food and beer. No beer for you. You have drugs.”
“I’m actually feeling a little better today.”
Jillian wrapped her arm around his waist as they walked through the deserted parking lot for a late afternoon lunch. “I noticed. You’ve been eyeing my boobs all day.”
“Because you’re not wearing a bra.”
“The shirt has a built-in shelf bra.”
“I see your nipples.”
She laughed. “It’s a little chilly today. What are you going to get? Bacon cheeseburger? Steak and fries?”
“Probably just a salad.”
“Fuck the salad. You need some meat and potatoes.”
AJ opened the door for her. “Maybe they have a good Tofurkey dog.”
“Ooo … wouldn’t that be grand.”
The waitress sat them near a large wall of windows with a picturesque view of the lush valley sprawling all the way to the majestic Rockies. Jillian ordered for both of them, a veggie burger and the house burger both with fries and two beers after AJ gave her an intense glare when she tried to order him an iced tea.
“Do you happen to have any cloth napkins?” AJ asked when the waitress brought their food.
“Sorry, sir.” She shook her head.
Jillian sniggered. “Nice try, Sarge.”
“She’s not going to get a good tip.”
“Absolutely not. Teach that bitch a lesson for not being more accommodating.” Jillian squeezed ketchup and mustard onto her bun. “Don’t roll your eyes at me. I’m not the one who asked her about the cloth napkins.”
“True, but it wouldn’t be an issue if it weren’t for you.”
“God … this is to die for,” she mumbled over a very unladylike mouthful before catching how inappropriate her words were. “Shit. That’s not what I meant. I just meant that it’s good or—”