by Karen Baney
Once the dishes were clean, Hannah poured coffee for each of them. Then the ladies gathered around the kitchen table and continued their discussion.
“Hannah, you really should consider what we’re saying,” Martha said. “Even if you haven’t given it much thought before.”
“Yes, dear, we want you to be happy. And even though I love you like a daughter, I don’t expect you to keep working for me forever.”
Hannah’s heart turned upside down. She didn’t know what to think. “I loved Drew so much,” she began. “I don’t think about him as much now, but I still miss him. The way I felt about him was different. I don’t feel that way about either Will or Joshua.”
“Love takes on a different shape with different people in our lives. The way you loved Drew will not be the same way in which you love your next husband,” Betty said. She paused before continuing, a distant look shading her eyes. “Before I met Henry, I loved another man. We were going to be married, but he was killed in a tragic accident weeks before our wedding. We had been so passionately and madly in love. I didn’t think I would be able to breathe without him. But I grieved and I moved on. I wasn’t the same girl when I met Henry. I had changed. What I wanted and needed changed. I loved Henry with all of my heart from very early on, but it was calmer, steadier, and settled.”
“Weren’t you attracted to Henry?” Hannah asked.
“Oh, don’t get me wrong. We still had sparks flying. We couldn’t keep our hands off of each other. I’m just saying it was different from my first love.”
“Hannah, I think Betty is right, although I can’t say from personal experience. Just think about it. Will and Joshua are not the same men as Drew. They have vastly different interests. Drew was a doctor. Will is a rancher. Joshua is a lieutenant in the army. Each man is unique in his own way.”
“Yes. Drew was at ease around you and loved to tease you. He had an innate calmness in his spirit. He was fiercely protective of you,” Betty said. “And he wanted to spend every waking moment at your side. The lieutenant, while he wants to care for you, can never be there as much as you might want. His first love is the army—well maybe God, then the army—then you. He respects you greatly, but would often be in a position to leave you on your own. Will, on the other hand, sees you as wife material, even if he doesn’t quite know it yet. He admires your independence and desires your companionship. I’m sure he would care for you and protect you, just like the others, but he also understands that you can hold your own.”
Hannah stared at the coffee mug in her hand. “What should I do?”
“Let God and time work its course,” Martha advised.
Dr. Murphy appeared a moment later to take his wife back to Fort Whipple. The sun was hanging low in the sky and they would have barely enough daylight left to make it back. Hannah and Betty said their goodbyes, sad to have their friend leaving already.
Hannah needed to be alone with her thoughts, her mind churning with all her friends said. As Betty retired to their private rooms, she stayed in the kitchen. The noise from the saloon filtered across the square. She hoped they wouldn’t be rowdy too late into the night.
Did she love Will or Joshua? Could she love either of them?
Joshua was a dear friend. She enjoyed his company and sensed something different when they talked this afternoon. Hannah would be forever grateful for how he stepped into the darkest days of her life and carried her to safety. He was a very honorable man. He commanded the attention and loyalty of those around him. But did she love him?
What about Will? He was so quiet sometimes. She often felt like she had to pull the conversation from him. Yet, when he did speak at length, most of the time it was deep or profound. And he was ruggedly handsome. She remembered back in May how easily he spoke of God. She knew that was important to her, and it sounded like it was important to him.
A gentle knock on the open back door drew her attention. Will Colter stepped just over the threshold. She greeted him with a warm smile.
“Would you care to take a walk?” he asked.
Hannah felt her pulse quicken and her heart flutter. It must be all that talk with Betty and Martha. She stood, taking his offered arm. As they walked together in silence, she was more aware of him than before. He walked comfortably, with confidence. Where her hand rested lightly in the crook of his arm, she could feel the strength. This was a man that was used to hard work. She felt very safe with him.
“Hannah,” Will started. “May I call you, Hannah?” he asked when he realized his mistake.
“Yes,” she answered softly.
“Thank you for spending so much time with me today. I didn’t mean to take you away from Mrs. Lancaster and Mrs. Murphy.”
That’s odd. Does he really think he took me away from them? “There’s nothing to apologize for. I had a wonderful time.”
The tinny music from the saloon carried across the square, filling the awkward silence.
“That berry pie was delicious. The best berry pie I’ve ever had,” Will said.
Hannah got the feeling that he didn’t want to talk about her baking skills. There was definitely something on his mind. Turning to face him, she looked up and asked, “What’s wrong, Will?”
---
As Will looked down at her, his well rehearsed speech dissolved on his tongue. The dimming light cast an almost angelic glow to her face. She was so close and the way she was looking at him was too much. He lowered his head and without warning gently kissed her. At first, he felt her body tense, but then she quickly gave into his kiss. When she put her arms around his neck, Will pulled her closer and deepened the kiss. She was so sweet. He could go on kissing her forever, savoring everything about her.
Unfamiliar feelings bubbled to the surface. He pulled away suddenly, needing to put some distance between them, frightened by the intensity of his feelings.
His voice husky, he said, “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to do that.” What kind of stupid thing was that to say?
Turning away from him and towards the boardinghouse, Hannah said matter-of-factly, “Your voice betrays you, Will.” As he followed in stride next to her, she teased, “I don’t think you are one bit sorry.”
Embarrassed, Will searched for the words he wanted to say. “I am sorry—sorry that I did not ask your permission first.” His heart was pounding loudly in his ears. He hoped he hadn’t just ruined his chances with Hannah by being so brash.
They walked the remainder of the way back to the boardinghouse in silence. Stopping at the back door, Will turned to her, knowing this would be his last opportunity to ask her.
“Hannah, I was wondering if you would like to come see the ranch some time.”
“I would love to.”
His heart leapt within his chest. He flashed a grin before wishing her a good night.
---
“Good night, Will,” she replied to his retreating back.
Once he was out of sight, she closed and locked the door. Leaning against it, Hannah took a deep breath to steady herself. She was shocked when Will kissed her and even more shocked at her own reaction to the kiss. The kiss was so blissful. She hadn’t wanted it to end. When he pulled away abruptly, she thought she had done something wrong. But, even in the dimming light, she saw the unmistakable look of passion in his eyes.
Will was most definitely different than Drew. When she first met him, she thought Will was a bit too quiet. She recalled his short answers to many of her questions. But, as she got to know him better, she saw a deep, sensitive man who tried so hard to be the steady leader his men expected. And during the roping competition, she saw the fun and playful side of Will Colter.
Yes, Will was very different from Drew, but in the most pleasant ways.
Chapter 30
With nervous anticipation, Hannah dressed in her green calico dress. She liked the way the green of the dress brought out the reddish highlights of her hair. And she wanted to look her best for the picnic outing at Will’s ranch. Befo
re he left town two weeks ago, he suggested today for the visit. The last two weeks seemed to drag on. Hannah could hardly wait to see him again—especially after that kiss. Countless times she fell asleep to the memory, savoring each nuance, and eagerly looking forward to the next. Checking her appearance in the gilded handheld mirror, Hannah blushed, pleased with the reflection.
The morning breakfast routine was the only thing standing between Hannah and the picnic. Will should be here any minute now, she thought as she set plate after plate before hungry boarders. Returning to the kitchen, Hannah took the refilled coffee pot from Betty with shaky hands, her excitement mounting.
As she finished refilling the last mug, Will Colter entered the dining hall. He was dressed in a blue cotton button down shirt and levis that hugged his muscular thighs. The light tan cowboy hat brought out the gold flecks in his eyes. His hair, mostly hidden by the hat, curled over the collar of his shirt, tempting Hannah’s fingers. He stood still, near the entry with two young cowboys on either side.
When his gaze connected with hers, she smiled giddily. Hannah covered the distance between them and said, “Will, please have a seat. Would you like some coffee?”
Before answering her question, Will took her hand in his rough one. Lifting her hand to his lips, he pressed a light kiss on top. Heat rose to her face and her heart picked up pace at the intimate gesture. The clank of forks rhythmically hitting the tin plates halted. Chatter silenced. Every eye in the room looked directly at Hannah and the tall rancher before her.
“Hannah, you look lovely this morning,” he said, releasing her hand slowly, but keeping his eyes firmly directed at hers. “I would love some coffee.”
As Will and the cowboys took a seat, the hum of conversation buzzed again. Hannah scurried to the kitchen to get breakfast for Will and his men, listening to the barely restrained congratulations offered Will’s way. When she glanced over her shoulder, his face reddened.
When she entered the kitchen, Betty grinned foolishly. She patted Hannah on the arm and followed behind her with two plates. Keeping hold of the coffee pot, Hannah took the third plate in hand. As they neared Will, he kept his attention on her. She set the plate in front of him, never looking away from his intent stare. She smiled again as she filled his coffee mug.
Will introduced his two men as Jed and Hawk. Both looked very young, probably a good four years her junior. While they said little, both men were very polite, thanking her as she refilled their mugs.
“Have you eaten?” Will asked.
Hannah shook her head. With the flutter of her stomach and the heat rushing to her face every time he looked at her, she did not think she could eat a bite.
As the diners passed their plates down to the end, Hannah went to retrieve them. Betty quickly shooed her away. “You best be on your way dear. I’ll see to the dishes.”
Seeing Will and his men were finishing their meal, Hannah donned her bonnet. Taking a deep breath to calm her nerves, she met Will out front.
“I hope you don’t mind riding,” Will said. “The trip is much easier on horseback than in the wagon.”
Hannah tried to hide her surprise. She had expected he would bring the wagon. She was but a young farm girl the last time she rode astride. Looking from the stirrups back to Will, she forced a smile. Relief flooded her when Will cupped his hands together to help her onto the horse. By the time she had her skirts arranged, Will and his men already mounted their horses.
The ride was pleasant as they passed over rolling hills and dipped into shallow valleys. Some of the five mile journey wove through tall pine tree forests, while the latter part gave way to grassy lands.
When they crested the last hill, Hannah soaked up the majestic view. To the west, the bright grayish white granite rock was sparsely dotted with pine trees and shrubbery. These amazing mountains looked as if they had been forced up through the grassy lands by some extreme force. The contrast of the rock was stark against the backdrop of deep blue sky and rolling green grass below. Breaking up the expanse of green, clusters of cattle were overseen by the cowboys.
In the bottom of the valley, there was a flat area, where several buildings stood. One looked to be the barn. Next to it stood the non-descript bunkhouse and a small shack. Then Hannah saw it—the ranch house—nestled near the mountains and buffeted by a small shimmering lake. She thought the whole scene to be the most picturesque place she had ever seen. She was so engrossed in the view she missed seeing Will dismiss Jed and Hawk.
“This,” he said stretching his arm across the expanse, “is Colter Ranch.”
“It is breathtaking,” Hannah said as she unconsciously brought her hand to rest over her heart. “I have never seen anything so glorious.”
“Come, let me show you around,” the pride in his voice evident.
Will led them down the rest of the road, before making a large circle around the grounds. Now she understood why he hadn’t wanted to use the wagon, for the tour would have been much too long on foot. Circling to the east, they moved past the barn.
“This is where we stable and corral the horses. We also have two milk cows and a few pigs. Over there is the bunkhouse where the cowboys live. There is a large open room where they take their meals and play cards in the evenings. The other room houses all of the bunks, which is very similar to the Mother Load at the boardinghouse. That,” Will said, pointing to the small shack, “is Rosa’s place. She does all of the cooking, cleaning, and laundry. Then we have the smoke house next to the bunkhouse. Snake manages all the butchering and smoking of the beef we supply to the boardinghouse, fort, and other locals.”
They continued on around toward the ranch house. “This is my home. It is not much, but will do nicely for now. Someday, I want to build a much larger house out of wood planks, instead of the log cabin. I dream of having a large porch on the back to sit in a rocking chair while gazing out on the lake.”
“It sounds lovely,” Hannah whispered, catching his vision.
Stopping in front of the house, Will dismounted. Reaching up, he placed his hands on her waist and easily lowered her to the ground. He allowed his hands to linger a few breaths, his closeness sending all her senses wild. Taking her hand, he led her to the house to give her the grand tour.
“In here, we have a full kitchen, stove and all. That took some doing to get it shipped from Santa Fe, but I know Rosa was happy for it. The table is rather crude. Something I put together for the short term.”
He pointed out the fireplace in the sitting room, which was a continuation of the kitchen and dining area. She noticed two doors off the length of the room, most likely bedrooms. While the house had paned windows, the curtains hanging over them were more utilitarian than decorative. Hannah thought the place could use a few homey touches.
Picking up the blanket and basket of food Rosa set out, he held out his arm for Hannah. She placed her hand in the crook of his elbow and they strolled leisurely toward the lake. It was so peaceful and serene. She loved it.
Once they were near the shore of the lake, Will set the basket down and spread out the blanket. He helped Hannah get situated before taking a seat next to her. He propped one arm up on his bent knee. The other leg was stretched out and he leaned back on the other arm, mere inches from her side.
Content to leave the basket untouched for the moment, Will looked off towards the lake. “When I left Texas, I didn’t want to go,” he confessed. “I thought that would be my home forever. I was born there and I was going to grow old there.” He picked at the cloth covering the basket. “But, God had other plans for me. And now here I am.
“When I first saw this patch of land, we were coming from the north,” he pointed to the trail, “instead of the south like we did today. I knew when I saw it, this was home. Everything about it spoke to me, to the depths of my soul. In a brief moment, I saw it all—the house, the ranch,” he turned and looked at her, “a wife, and lots of children. In that instant, I knew this was God’s gift to me—this magnifi
cent land.”
Hannah felt his eyes on her, but kept hers fixed on the lake. She could see the draw of this land. She felt it too. It was that sense of belonging. “Thank you for bringing me here. It is incredible,” she said turning to look at him.
Will leaned closer and her pulse raced. Bringing his hand to her neck, he gently pulled her face towards him. Closing the distance, he kissed her. She closed her eyes and leaned into his strength. He responded, trailing his fingers down her neck, sending shivers up her spine. This kiss was different than before. It held such promise and hope and it was utterly delightful.
A soft rustling nearby caught her attention and she hesitated, pulling away. Glancing over Will’s shoulder Hannah saw Ben touch the brim of his hat before moving his horse along. She smiled knowing the older man was slyly acting as chaperone.
Will dropped his hand to the blanket, putting some space between them. “What about you, Hannah? What are your dreams?”
Contemplating the question, she reached for the basket and began setting out the meal. Between bites of bread and cheese, she tried to articulate the dream she once had. Drawing her knees to her, she placed her arms around them and propped her chin on top.
Sighing, she answered, “A year ago, my biggest dream was to be a mother and grow old with Drew.” A few tears slid down her face as she continued, “Then trouble forced us to move. I didn’t want to leave, for I wanted to raise my children there. When we left Ohio, I felt my dreams were dead. Slowly, on the trip here, I began to see Drew’s dream and tried to make it my own, starting a new life in a new land.”
She paused swiping at the tears. “We left Ohio shortly after our second anniversary and I didn’t understand why my dream of being a mother was still unfulfilled.” Hannah paused, uncertain if she should have shared such a personal thought. Yet, Will seemed to listen with genuine interest. “Then, when Drew died in the avalanche in the San Francisco Mountains and when I realized I was with child days later, the dream seemed more like a nightmare. The child was my last link to him, yet I didn’t want to go on without him.”