by Casey Morgan
“It’s looking a little better,” Kenzie mumbles, “but not by much.”
“Yeah, I know.”
She looks up at me, clearly miffed. She scrunches her button nose up at me before going back to looking at my arm. Her fingers brush the scarred skin causing me to flinch, but I don’t withdraw my arm just yet. She’s making a face that isn’t giving me much hope.
“This should do the trick,” Kenzie says more to herself than me.
She takes one of the thousands of creams she has and opens it up. I catch a whiff, and it is strong. That’s going on my arm? I don’t think so.
“You’re going to put that on me?”
“Yeah. It’s supposed to help your wound get better. That’s why I’m here. To help you get better.”
“Oh, hell no. It is pungent. And who even knows if it’s going to work. I’m tired of you putting weird shit on my arm.”
It really isn’t the worst smell, but it is a strong one, and I’d rather not have that slathered all over my arm, the smell permeating throughout my room.
“Okay, first of all, you don’t have to be so rude. I worked very hard to make this so you would feel better. Second of all, don’t you want to get better? There’s some trial and error, I’m sorry. Silver injuries are just harder to deal with, and we’re not used to them here. Maybe we should just amputate your arm. I know how to treat a missing limb. That would solve the problem, right?” she snaps, rolling her eyes.
“I wouldn’t be stuck seeing you every day, so it would solve a problem.”
She flinches, her shoulders rising up towards her ears as her face turns red. “Oh, you steaming pile of shit. I shouldn’t even—”
Before Kenzie can finish her sentence, there is another knock at the door, cutting her short. Once again, whoever it is decides to come in even though I don’t give them any prompting to do so.
It’s Anson, the alpha, and Flint, the weird lone wolf who showed up a few weeks ago with Mini, so I can’t be too upset. Even though I am very upset. These two have been inseparable ever since Flint showed up. Anson doesn’t usually show favoritism. It’s very weird.
I’m sure Anson is here to talk about everything that’s been going on with since Pax left. Especially since Flint is with him. This day just keeps getting worse and worse.
There are now too many people in this room. It’s not like my room is super small or anything, but having four people in here is causing it to feel quite cramped. I hate feeling like I have no space to move.
Plus, I am still hot off of my very recent argument with Kenzie. My temper is all over the place. I’d be able to cool down a lot faster if there was no one else here. I’d be happier if no one was here.
I just want to be left the hell alone. Is that really too much to ask?
Chapter Two
Kenzie
Tamir, the pack’s second in command, is being an absolute asshole. I’m just trying to help him out with his stupid injury—and it’s really not that stupid, but he’s acting stupid—but all he wants to do is argue with me. Every time his mouth moves, I know something dumb is about to come out. Would he really rather have his arm cut off than let me apply some of this salve?
Goddammit, he’s such a prick!
I’m about to tell him off like I’ve never told anyone off, but then Anson walks in with that shady guy, Flint. I don’t know a lot about the dude, but he gives me a sketchy vibe.
It’s not my place to say anything, though. And look at what happened to Pax. I’ll keep my mouth shut in this one particular situation. Exile is a pretty scary prospect for me. Even though I am not always the biggest fan of how things are handled around here at the Stayman Orchard, I actually kind of like the compound. Putting people in their place is a pass time of mine, but not at the detriment to my own self and safety.
The second Anson and Flint walk in, it’s not hard to notice that Tamir is uncomfortable. He freezes up. His arm tenses under my hand. I don’t think Anson or Flint notice, though. Maybe it’s just easy for me to see and feel because I’m holding onto him right now.
Tamir tries to pull away from me, but I hold on even tighter. I don’t know why he’s protesting so much. He has an injury that needs tending. Is he embarrassed or something?
In all honesty, I don’t really care.
He shouldn’t feel ashamed about it or anything, but if he does, maybe it’ll make him a little less prideful. He could stand to be humbler. Really most of the pack could stand to be knocked off of their high horses. Men are always so huffy when I have to tend to them, acting like they don’t need any help getting better. God, it’s aggravating being the medic for a bunch of idiots. But I have a job to do. It’s not like Tamir’s going to stop me from doing it. That idea is laughable.
“Goddammit, Tamir. Let the medic do her job!” Anson barks at him after the second time he tries to pull out of my grip.
I’m a little surprised the alpha said anything. It’s rare anyone says a word to me or in my defense. I mean, he didn’t use my name—he might not even know it—but I’ll take it.
Tamir stops trying to pull away, at least, which is extremely helpful. I’m about to issue a thank you, something I don’t just offer to anyone, but all the men in the room have gone back to ignoring me like I’m a piece of furniture.
“Ignore me, then,” I mumble under my breath. “Not like I matter or anything…”
Obviously, no one hears, which is just dandy because I don’t need their attention anyway. I’ll just do my job like I came here to do. And then I can leave. That’s the light at the end of this dreary tunnel.
The alpha stands close to Tamir’s bed while Flint leans near the window. They both look super happy, which is weird during a battle. Anson leans on the footboard and grins.
“Tamir, I wanted to let you know that I’m initiating Flint into the pack since he’s been so helpful.”
Tamir filches, and I know it’s not from me dressing his wound since I wasn’t even touching him. Luckily, no one else in the room noticed. I’m guessing he’s not the biggest fan of Flint either. But unlike his brother, Pax, Tamir’s keeping a lot to himself.
The wound is troubling. I noted earlier that it isn’t really healing, but it’s almost like it hasn’t healed at all. I mean, it really isn’t as bad as it was that first night. But something isn’t right. As a werewolf, Tamir should have been well weeks ago, but it’s like he doesn’t have the Stayman’s silver immunity anymore. But that’s impossible, right?
Flint shifts his weight giving Tamir a sideways smile. It’s like he is trying—and not succeeding—to look humble. “Anson asked me last night, and I just had to say yes. You guys have been so welcoming, and I’ve been wandering alone for such a long time. It seems like the perfect pairing. I’m ready to finally settle down and be a part of a pack.”
“Yeah,” Tamir answers rather flatly, just barely nodding his head.
“He’s basically been acting like one of the pack—” Anson gestures, waving his hand at Flint—”so making it official makes total sense.”
Tamir makes a sort of affirmative sound, but it’s not hard to hear the hesitancy in his voice. Anson must either be oblivious or not care. Tamir really should speak up if he doesn’t like the idea. I mean, he’s second to the alpha, he has the ability to challenge him. If he really thinks it’s a bad idea, maybe saying something could help. Or maybe not. These guys are stubborn as hell. They have this whole song and dance when it comes to their little conversations.
“So, I was thinking we get this thing done like tonight. You know, the sooner, the better,” Anson adds.
I kind of start to tune out the conversation because it is getting into the nitty-gritty of the whole thing, and I already knew all of that stuff. Plus, I don’t really care, not about that greaseball being let in.
“Are you sure you want to do it so soon. I mean, with the Mathis pack still attacking at regular intervals, maybe we hold it off until we can get a more stable hold on the land.”
Anson clicks his tongue and laughs. I don’t know why since what Tamir is saying is totally logical. It is a really bad time to have a new member join. And some of the pack are not super happy with the ousting of Pax. That’s something I have been able to gather. They might not be super happy with the stranger who effectively got him kicked out being initiated.
The alpha turns and waves his hand in another large gesture. “This is exactly what the pack needs right now. Having a new member join will be just the boost we need to get through this fight. Tamir, I promise you that gaining a new member is just what the pack needs.”
Tamir nods half-heartedly and appears to drop the whole thing from there. He actually gets up and goes to shake Flint’s hand.
“Congrats then. Anson doesn’t just let anyone be initiated into the pack, so you must be something else.”
Watching this scene unfold is aggravating. They’re all ignoring me, and no one is really saying much about anything worthwhile.
I lean against Tamir’s bed. A bandage roll I have up there falls and rolls under the bed. I try to reach by reaching my arm under the bed, but that doesn’t work. It’s too far under. I look back up at the ‘manly men,’ and they’re still going on and on about initiation ceremonies and the like, nothing that interests me. I may as well try to shimmy under the bed and get the bandage cause I’m going to need it.
It’s not like any of them are going to take notice of my ass up in the air. I’m sure they wouldn’t notice if I stripped naked and put on a show. Stupid men…
I get myself under the bed, and I mean under the bed. The bandage somehow rolled all the way to the edge, just my luck. Just as I get the roll in hand, I can hear Anson talking to Tamir.
“Now, I want you to be a part of the ceremony. It won’t look good if my second in command isn’t there to sign off.”
“I know.”
“And I’d really appreciate you being there,” Flint adds.
“I know.”
“So, you’re going to be there? Promise?”
I can hear that it’s less of a question and more of a command. I know Tamir isn’t one to disobey his alpha. No one here does that because that would mean directly challenging Anson, which is a whole ordeal.
“Yeah, I’ll rest up and be in tip-top shape for the ceremony. I promise,” Tamir sighs.
I can hear the pats on the back and the door closing. I’m probably going to have to go to that stupid party. Someone will notice if I’m missing, and since I’m not the most well-liked member of the pack, I wouldn’t be surprised if some sniveling brat ran to Anson to tell him that he doesn’t have my unconditional support regarding all of his decisions. Bleh.
I start to shimmy out from under the bed but then feel it go down. Fuck. Tamir must have sat on it. Does he not know I’m under here? I mean, they were all ignoring me, but then where does he think I went? Into the ether?
Or maybe he just doesn’t care about my comfort, which also wouldn’t be surprising.
I manage to get myself out from under the bed despite his big butt pressing down. I get into a kneeling position and see Tamir sitting on his bed, zoning out.
“It also bothers me that Flint is joining the pack. He seems kind of shady.”
“Dear God!” Tamir actually jumps a little from the bed. He seems almost taken aback that I spoke.
“Are you okay?”
“Yeah, yeah,” he shakes his head. “I just forgot that you were here. Sorry.”
That hurts more than I expected it to. I’m actually pretty used to being invisible to the rest of my packmates. People like to not acknowledge me, so it shouldn’t be such a surprise that Tamir totally forgot I was in the room with him even though we had been talking before Anson and Flint walked in. I don’t know. Maybe, for whatever reason, I thought he was different.
Which was clearly very stupid of me.
I go back to cleaning his arm, making sure to sterilize it before redressing. The worst thing that can happen now is an infection. Since it is taking him so long to heal, I’m worried he might be more vulnerable to one.
As I’m using an alcohol pad to get rid of any nasty bacteria, I notice Tamir zoning out again. He kind of does that a lot. I even noticed it before the injury. When something doesn’t sit right with him, instead of making a stand, he just lets it wash away, I guess. Interesting way to handle things by not handling them.
“What’s wrong?” I ask him. I already have an idea what it is, but I would like to hear him say it.
“Nothing. Just stop talking,” the second snaps. “Mind your business, okay.”
I can feel my signature anger boiling up, but I’m not about to fight Tamir on this one. These are his feelings, and he can deal with them however he sees fit.
I shrug and go back to work like everyone expects me to. I finish cleaning the gash and burn and go to grab the salve I made when, to my utmost surprise, Tamir starts talking.
“I miss my brother,” he tells me while still staring off into the distance. “More than I thought I would. It’s weird, he always used to be this annoying kid who would hang on to me, and then he was suddenly older and doing all his own things, and I don’t know. Maybe I should have done more. I’m just worried about him, I guess.” He runs his hand through his wavy brown hair, ruffling it up.
Looking at him being all vulnerable, it actually sends a tinge of something through my heart. I don’t know if it’s pity or… something else, but it’s there.
I take a second to actually think about it. Pax wouldn’t just disappear. That much I know. Especially if he’s so worried about Flint.
“Do you think that Pax maybe left you a message somehow?”
Tamir gets thoughtful, tilting his head. His yellowish-amber eyes narrow.
“He did have the computer he was always messing around with. Maybe he put something on there,” he trails off before a spark reaches his eyes. “He did set up an email address for me. A few years ago, Pax was trying to convince me that I was going to need it for whatever reason, but I never actually used it. I actually kind of forgot about it. Maybe there’s something there.”
“That’s great,” I smile. “Is there a way for you to access it?”
Tamir’s face drops again. “The only computer on the grounds is Pax’s, and Anson locked up all his stuff in the basement after kicking him out. Someone’s always guarding it, so there’s no way I’d be able to get down there without Anson. And I won’t be put on guard duty because of my arm.” He holds it up, dropping it back down.
I bite my bottom lip because I know I could help, but that would mean actually putting myself at risk. Maybe I should finally do something worthwhile instead of just talking about it all the time.
“I could get the computer for you.”
His brow furrows. “How?”
“I have to go down to the basement for supplies all the time. They always just let me in, so it won’t look too weird if I am down there. I can just sneak it out in my medical bag,” I point to it.
“Are you sure they won’t search you?”
“I don’t know,” I shrug. “Everything comes with a risk, but I think this one is pretty low. I can get it if you really need it.”
Tamir scrunches his brow at me, giving me a curious look. I take the second to stare back into his face, noticing the width of his square jaw and the slight hint of stubble there.
“What is it?” I stutter.
“Why are you helping me? I know you don’t particularly like me.”
“Was it that obvious?” I joke. Tamir doesn’t laugh, so I fix my face and explain. “I liked Pax. He was one of the few people who actually talked to me. You know, like a friend or whatever. I’m not sure if you have many of those,” I say the last bit rather quietly. I don’t think Tamir heard the part I said to myself. I really should learn to hold my tongue sometimes. Maybe then I’d have a few more friends around the compound.
Pax actually said hi to me whenever we saw one another, and he di
dn’t treat me like some inconvenience. We didn’t always get to hang out, but we would try and make time for one another every so often. I was really sad to hear about all the stuff that went down with him and Anson. I know he isn’t the bad guy a lot of people are trying to paint him as. I’m sure all of this can be cleared up somehow with just a little bit of communication.
“Oh, okay.” Tamir looks a little uncomfortable but doesn’t push me on it. “Thanks for the offer. It’s a good plan. Could work.”
“Yeah, I know. That’s why I suggested it.”
Tamir makes a ‘hmm’ sound, but that’s it.
The small blessings. I just roll my eyes and keep working on his arm. I take some of the salve out of the container and place a thin layer around the burn. It’s pretty strong stuff, so I don’t want to put too much on.
I cover the surface before getting the bandage and carefully wrapping it around. I take care to get a flat but not too tight wrap. It’s mainly there to keep the salve on and prevent too many outside elements from getting into the skin. I secure the end and give it a quick soft pat before standing up.
“We’re all done here.”
Tamir looks at the dressing and nods. “Thanks. I’ll see you later, I guess.”
“Yeah, and I’ll get you the thing.”
We leave it at that, and I leave the room. That was an unbelievably awkward way to leave things, but it’s whatever. It’s not like I need the guy to like me.
Chapter Three
Kenzie
I never got my chance to get Pax’s laptop from the basement. When I went down there earlier, the guard walked me all the way inside. That happens sometimes, but it’s a pretty rare occurrence, so I thought I’d be able to quickly grab it and go. But I never even got the chance to look for it. Hopefully, I find a chance tonight. It might actually work because everyone is distracted.