As Joe pounded the frame into place, they chatted easily. Mari told him more stories about growing up with five brothers, and Joe regaled her with summer camping trip tales that had her nearly rolling on the floor.
When he moved to working inside, he peeled out of his coat, and Mari appreciated the biceps his gray t-shirt showed off. While he nailed the trim back up, installed the door knob, a peephole, and an extra bolt lock, the conversation shifted to matters of theology. “So many have just given up on the concept of a Messiah,” Joe said, gesturing with his screwdriver. “They say it’s been too long, but what seems too long to us may not seem that long to God.”
Mari agreed. “My Rabbi back in Oklahoma preached a lot on the Messiah. He felt certain he was coming soon.”
Mari’s stomach rumbled, and she looked at the clock. “Gads, no wonder I’m hungry. It’s nearly 7:00.” She got up and went to the refrigerator. “You must be starving. Can I make you a sandwich or something?”
“I’m nearly done here, but thanks.” He tightened a final screw and threw the screwdriver into his tool box. “Since it’s dark out, and your lamp post seems to be burned out, I’ll clean up the mess out back tomorrow.”
“Oh, I can probably do that.”
He stepped toward her and looked down with an air of authority. “There are rusty nails on those boards. Let me take care of them.”
She looked up into eyes that seemed darker than their usual shade of blue. “Okay.”
He paused a moment longer, something unspoken on his lips; then he abruptly turned, grabbed his coat, and headed for the living room.
Mari scurried to the kitchen door. “Joe, I think you’re forgetting something.”
He stopped without turning, and Mari wondered what he was thinking. Then he pivoted, his eyes even darker. “Yes, I believe I am.” He strode back to her and stopped. “How close are you and Eli?”
“What?” Mari was totally taken off-guard. “We’re... we’re dating.”
“How do you feel about him?”
“I... I... I care about him.” Mari’s bewilderment turned into a scowl. “Is this some kind of big brother interrogation to see if I’m good enough for him or something?”
Joe snorted. “Hardly.”
“Then what is this?”
“Just answer the question. Are you in love with him?”
“No, I don’t think so, at least not yet, but... just how is this any of your business?” Mari could feel herself getting steamed. “You just can’t let your brothers have lives of their own, can you? You push Eli into big building designs when he’d rather do houses, and Ben” —she stuck her finger in his chest— “and Ben, you force into a whole field of study he’s not interested in!”
Joe’s eyes flashed. “Ah, yes, Ben. I got your message loud and clear concerning Ben, Mari.” He turned to leave once again.
“Joe,” Mari thundered, “don’t forget your stupid tool box.”
He spun and marched back to the kitchen, slammed the lid shut, and hefted the heavy box, breezing past Mari on the return trip.
Mari’s chest was heaving with anger and confusion. How did we get to this? She had a sudden flash of her brothers’ behavior when they were tired and hungry, and understanding burgeoned. She stepped forward to speak before he left in a huff, but Joe beat her to it.
“I suppose I could have just left it here,” he said quietly without looking at her, “and told you to ‘stick it where the sun don’t shine.’”
Mari gasped, and then he was gone. In a daze of hurt and guilt, she wrapped her arms around herself and absently moved to her love seat and sat. She squeezed her eyes shut, but she couldn’t stop the tears.
***
Joe sat in the dark of his living room feeling lower than a snake’s belly. He now knew unequivocally that he was in love with Mari. And he also knew he had just blown any chance he might have with her, even if Eli were out of the picture. He bent over and rubbed his temples. What had possessed him to provoke her when he really just wanted to kiss her, and he had fully intended to do just that if she held no deep feelings for his brother.
He straightened up for a brief moment then let his head fall back against the chair. He also knew without a doubt that he had to tell Beth what was going on in his heart. Today had been strained. He couldn’t keep her in the dark any longer. He just hadn’t realized what love was—what it could be. He and Beth had gotten along—were comfortable with each other—and they had superficial things in common. They both liked action movies and roller coasters, a good cheese burger and playing Scrabble, but a deep connection—the kind of connection he was starting to feel with Mari—simply wasn’t there.
It was only early evening, but Joe pushed himself up and decided to go to bed. He prayed for a long, long night, because tomorrow morning, he had to talk to Beth. And somehow, tomorrow afternoon, he had to apologize to Mari.
Chapter 19
Mari was up early after a restless night filled with sporadic tears. It was obvious that her off-hand comment to Ben had been relayed and had hurt Joe deeply. How can I apologize with any sincerity? I can’t deny saying it, and I accused him of trying to control their lives just last night. As she made her way to the kitchen, she saw that there was a light on in the Rhodes’ house as well.
She entered the kitchen and pulled a box of raisin bran and a bowl out of the cupboard and asked herself the question she’d already asked herself a hundred times: Why was Joe asking about Eli and me? He had denied playing the part of the overprotective older brother, but he seemed far too angry to be asking out of mere curiosity or even interest. Mari shook her head as she opened the refrigerator to find milk. Joe, you have me completely baffled.
Pouring on the milk, she wondered how their next meeting would play out. He’ll probably avoid me all week again. Mari paused with the spoon in front of her mouth. Oh my Lord, is that why he was cold to me all last week? She set the spoon back in her bowl as she thought back to when his frosty demeanor had started. He left me in the snow drift after... the day after Ben and I toured the campuses, and Ben told me about his zoo idea and, oh my gosh, that’s when I said that about Joe!
Leaving her cereal uneaten, she rushed to her bedroom to get dressed. He may have been weird last night, but I still owe him an apology.
***
Joe had awakened before the sun with a sense of dread chilling him to the bone. After a cup of coffee and a donut, he marched himself to the front door and out before he could come up with some excuse to postpone the morning’s obligation. It was barely light, but he knew Beth would be up early doing yoga. Turning the key in his cold truck, he noticed that Mari’s light was on already. He hoped she had a reason other than feeling miserable over their spat to be up so early.
He backed out and forced himself to think about what to say to Beth. He knew it would have to be the last thing she expected this morning. She said I don’t change gears easily. He shifted into drive and gripped the wheel. Oh boy, have I changed gears. He knew it hadn’t really been “easy” to come to this decision, but to Beth it would have to feel like a bolt out of the blue. He pondered stopping for a gift of some kind, but realized that nothing could soften the blow he had to deliver. He couldn’t dance around it. It just had to be said. He didn’t love her.
At least not the way I love Mari.
And all at once he realized why he had never gotten her a ring. Part of me knew there was something missing. He abruptly remembered Eli’s continuous prying questions about their engagement while they tore down plaster and almost smiled as he slowly shook his head. Eli knew it before I did. He used the driving time to pray, asking God to stop him somehow if he and Beth were meant to be together, but with every block, he felt an even greater conviction toward breaking up.
Pulling into Beth’s parking lot, he grew solemn wondering how he could stand to see Eli with Mari. If I could somehow patch things up with her, would I dare to go against my own brother? Could I live with myself if I stole her
away from him?
Can I live with myself if I don’t?
In much the same way he now knew that he and Beth were wrong for each other, he knew Eli and Mari were wrong, too. He had to agree with Ben—those two together just didn’t make sense. Joe got out of the truck and headed for the stairs to Beth’s apartment with no one but Mari on his mind.
***
Mari opened her front door just in time to see Joe’s truck driving away. “Rats! I just missed him.” She looked to the Rhodes Victorian and wondered if anyone else was up yet. Shaking her head, she closed the door. She knew she didn’t have any right to discuss this tiff with anyone else. This is between me and Joe.
Sitting around the house waiting for him to return would drive her nuts. I need to get out and do something. She peeled out of her coat again, grabbed up her laptop sitting on the love seat, and got comfortable against the pillows. I think my foot is well enough to drive. Time to explore.
***
Beth was staring at him with a look of horror that even Joe couldn’t have imagined. “You need to break up with me? Are you friggin’ kidding? After I moved down here to be with you?” She jumped up from the sofa. “It’s because I moved here, isn’t it?” She turned and walked away, and Joe slowly rose from the sofa. “Sheri said it was a mistake—that you liked your space, but” —she spun back to face him— “we talked about marriage—you talked about marriage.” Her volume started to rise, and Joe remembered Beth saying that Sheri was still in bed. “Or were you planning on us living in different cities after we were married, so I wouldn’t crowd you?”
Out of habit, Joe reached out a hand to her to draw her in then let it drop. “No, Beth,” he answered in a hushed voice that he hoped would bring her back to a reasonable level, “it has nothing to do with moving here or crowding me. We’re just not right for each other.”
Her eyes grew wide. “Oh my God, it’s the accounting, isn’t it? You couldn’t turn me into an accountant, so it’s over.”
Joe rolled his eyes. Why does everybody think I’m a controlling monster? “No, Beth. Granted, I think you’d make more money in accounting than you ever will as an artist.” He spoke faster at her peeved expression. “Not that I don’t think you have talent... it’s just a shaky way to try and make a living.” He ran his hands through his hair. “Not that any of that would matter, because I could have taken care of you.”
Tears started to roll down her cheeks, and she quickly wiped them away. “So what is it? I could have sworn we were right for each other right up until I told you I didn’t want to be an accountant.”
Joe took a step toward her and spoke quietly. “I thought so, too, but... now I realize there’s something missing.”
She looked up at him, perplexed. “What?”
“Well...” Joe had sincerely hoped he wouldn’t have to go into his reasons. The last thing he wanted was to bring Mari into this in any way. “Well, I don’t think we’re exactly on the same page in regards to religion, and—”
“Religion? We’ve barely even discussed it. How—”
“And I think that the things we have in common are just... I don’t know... shallow. There’s nothing... deep between us. When was the last time we really talked?” Beth just stood looking incredulous, so he pressed on. “And I’ve just come to realize that there can be more... more... more passion than we have, so—”
“Passion? Passion? If you want passion, just say so.” She grabbed him by the hand and started to pull him toward the hallway. “I doubt my bed’s even gotten cold yet.”
Joe dug in his heels. “No, Beth, that’s not what I mean; that’s not what I want.”
She stopped, glaring at him, her chest heaving, and dropped his hand. Joe was tempted to give in—to say it was all a mistake—but he knew there was no going back. He also realized there was nothing more to say. “I’m sorry, Beth. I never wanted to hurt you.”
Her face crumpled, and her voice was strangled. “Well, you have.”
He reached out and smoothed her hair. “I know,” he whispered, “I’m sorry.”
He turned to go, but Beth’s voice stopped him at the door. “Who is it? Who made you believe that something was missing? What’s her name?”
He couldn’t bring himself to look at her. He shook his head and swallowed but couldn’t speak. Finally he opened the door and slipped out just before something crashed against the door.
***
Eli walked into the gym after a light lunch, determined to work off the amorous feelings he’d been trying to ignore for most of the morning. The distraction was slowing him down on the house designs—something he could ill afford with the tight schedule he had for their completion. Coming out of the locker room, he was nearly run over by a red head with a racket in one hand and a cell phone in the other. The latter having her attention.
Eli jumped back. “Excuse me, sweetheart.”
The girl spun, and a smile spread over her face.
Sheri.
“Eli! I can’t believe I ran into you here!”
Eli cringed at his luck but couldn’t resist teasing her. “Almost literally.”
She laughed. “Sorry. I should have been watching where I was going.”
The last time he had seen Sheri, she was bundled up with only her face on display, but now she was nearly bare in short shorts and a sports bra, and he was gratified to see that he hadn’t been wrong about tattoos. She had a green vine that started in her cleavage and looped around her breast, wrapping around her waist, disappearing into her shorts and circling her thigh. He imagined that every male who saw her here had mentally undressed her to visualize the full effect.
He was no exception.
“Are you girls all moved in?”
“Pretty much.” There was an awkward pause; then Sheri lifted her racket ball racket. “Do you play? I was hoping to find a partner since Beth didn’t feel like coming with me.”
“Is Beth worn out?”
Sheri’s perky mood slipped. “Something like that.” Then she bounced back and grabbed him by the arm. “Come on, I’ve got the court reserved.”
Eli hesitated. Spending time with a pretty girl wasn’t what he needed. Especially one that was sexy as hell and obviously had her eye on him. “I haven’t played in years. I was just going to work out on the machines.”
She slipped her hand down to his and pulled. “Come on. It’s much more fun than the treadmill. And I promise I won’t trounce you.”
Eli allowed himself to be pulled along. He knew racket ball would give him a real workout, so he supposed it didn’t matter who he played with.
As long as he kept his eye on the ball and not the girl.
***
Joe found that Mari’s lamp post problem was just a burned-out bulb and was disappointed that it was so easily fixed. He had hoped for a whole afternoon of work to divert his mind from the morning’s confrontation with Beth, but changing a bulb and cleaning up the debris from the old door hadn’t taken long at all.
Mari wasn’t home, and he was at a loss anyway to explain his behavior of the previous evening without confessing his feelings. He was still wrestling with the notion of spilling his guts with Eli still in the picture. He had no idea of the best way to handle it, so for the time being, he planned to say nothing.
A bulb went on in his head. “That doesn’t mean I can’t do something.” Joe looked around the yard and wondered what. Not seeing anything in particular that needed attention, his eyes came back to the lamp post. The glass was filthy and the paint was flaking.
Several hours later, he had the lamp post cleaned, sanded, and painted a shiny black. He stood back and smiled then realized that Mari may not have particularly noted how weathered it had looked before—may not even notice that it looks brand new. Joe’s brows came together as he stared at it, wondering what else he could do to draw her eye. He wasn’t sure if it was a good attitude or not, but he really wanted her to notice it.
He headed back home for more
paint.
***
As Mari drove past the Rhodes house, she noted that Joe’s truck was still gone. Sighing, she wondered if she’d ever get to apologize. As she was parking, Ben came out and headed for their mailbox. Hailing her, he ran up to the side of her car, obviously excited about something, as she got out. “Mari, you won’t believe what happened at the zoo over the weekend.”
He walked with her up the sidewalk. “What?”
“The male lion of our pride attacked one of the females.”
She paused before putting the key in the lock. “Oh, dear, is she okay?”
Ben shook his head, his hands in his coat pockets. “No, she died.”
Mari’s heart sank. “Oh, that is so sad.” She let them both in, hung up her coat, and slipped out of her snow boots, wincing just a bit as she removed the right one. “What got into him?” She tugged the hem of her black leggings down to her ankles before straightening. “I didn’t know they would hurt their own ladies.” She started toward the kitchen, rolling up the sleeves on her long red flannel shirt, with Ben on her tail.
Ben leaned in the doorway while Mari ran a cup of water to put in the microwave. “I guess it’s not all that uncommon. She may have been challenging the head lioness, trying to take over the pride, and he didn’t like that.” Ben looked at her rubbing her hands together while she waited for her heated mug. “Hands cold again?”
“Yeah, I didn’t do too bad all day, but the car was really cold for the return trip. I’m not sure my heater is working right.”
“I could take a look at it if you like. I know a thing or two about cars.”
Mari smiled. An angel mechanic? “If you wouldn’t mind, that would be great. Car repair is so expensive.”
Ben smiled. “I’d be happy to do it.”
Mari took her mug out at the beep and added a tea bag. “Can I get you something? Tea? Milk? I made some cookies.”
Rocky Mountain Angels Page 20