The rest of the guys had piled out of the tour bus, but I’d stayed behind pretending to be posting stuff online. Mostly I just wanted to give myself some distance from Jayce.
We’d been thoroughly enjoying our new relationship, trying to get as much private time together as we could. We didn’t want to make it too obvious that we were together, but sometimes he just couldn’t keep from sneaking a few kisses in places where we shouldn’t. We’d almost gotten caught a time or two. Jayce loved the rush of almost getting found out, but it always made me tense and nervous. I didn’t hate it enough to turn down his kisses, though.
Although everything was fine on the surface, I couldn’t stop thinking about the conversation in the hotel room. I still didn’t know what he’d meant by it. Every so often, when we were alone, Jayce would just stare at me, eyes intense, as if he was trying to solve a puzzle. As if there was something about me he was trying to figure out.
And then there was Neil. He told me he wanted me back.
Why did things have to be so complicated?
“There’s been a lot going on lately. I’m just trying to focus on my job.”
Kell flopped down next to me and leaned forward.
“So you and Jayce have worked things out?”
I should have known Kell would notice.
“We did.” I gave a soft smile. “Things have been great. Except…” I paused, not knowing how to put into words what I was feeling. Why did Jayce keep giving me those weird looks? Whenever I asked him what he was thinking, he just shook his head and smiled, saying it was nothing. “I don’t know. Something weird is going on with Jayce.”
“Like what?”
“That’s the thing. I can’t pin it down. He just looks at me sometimes…” I sighed out a frustrated breath. “I don’t know.”
“Has he said anything to you about what he’s thinking?”
“He keeps on saying it’s nothing, but we had this weird conversation.”
“About what?”
“About Neil.”
Kell raised his eyebrows.
“And what did Jayce have to say about Neil?”
“Just that he knew Neil and I had a thing. That he knew I still liked him.”
“Was he jealous?”
“No! That’s what was weird. He seemed okay with it.” I frowned. “Shouldn’t he have been jealous?”
“Jayce is—” Kell paused to think for a minute. “Jayce is an open-minded kind of guy. You know what I mean?”
“No…” I scrunched up my nose, thinking. “I don’t know what you mean. You’re being just as cryptic as Jayce.”
Kell let out a small laugh.
“You got some good news though, right?” he said, changing the subject. “About your new job?”
“How’d you know about that?”
“Deena asked me what I thought about keeping you on.”
“She did?” I was surprised. “She told me to keep it quiet.”
“Deena usually asks my opinion before making a lot of decisions.”
It seemed like I wasn’t the only one to have discovered Kell’s sharp mind and serious side.
“Aren’t you excited about it?”
I perked up. “Yeah, I’m super excited. I never thought something like this would happen to me. I thought I was lucky just to get this internship.”
“Well, you’ve done a lot of really great work. The guys and I all love you.”
My heart stuttered in my chest as I thought of Jayce. We hadn’t said the L word yet. Kell winced.
“Sorry, I didn’t mean to—”
“No, it’s okay. I know what you meant.”
“You work well with the rest of the crew, too. You’d be a great asset to our team.”
“I work well with everyone except for Neil, you mean.”
He shook his head. “No, even with him you’ve managed to keep it together. Aside from that one public kiss, no one else has seen anything unprofessional from the two of you. It’s impressive, actually, considering the situation you’re in.”
“Yeah, a terrible situation. People thought I was with Neil and now they’re probably going to find out I’m with Jayce. I’m going to get the worst reputation.”
“I don’t know if I’d say it’s all bad.” Kell gave me a grin. “After all, you’ve got two attractive guys lusting after you. Although with that producer it’s more like pining. Everyone can see the looks he’s been giving you. Like a lost little puppy. It would be cute if it wasn’t so sad.”
“Neil couldn’t make time for me.” I shrugged. “He told me I was right to break it off. If he’s pining, he only has himself to blame.”
“Maybe you’re being too hard on him,” Kell suggested. “You really liked this guy, didn’t you?”
I leaned back on the sofa cushions and dropped my head. “I did. We got to know each other pretty well online. I thought for sure something might happen between us. But that was before. I’m with Jayce now.”
Kell gave me a probing look.
“Jayce should probably be the one having this conversation with you,” he muttered under his breath.
“What?”
Kell considered me for a moment, then gave me a small smirk. “Who says you can’t be with both?”
I rolled my eyes and snickered, thinking Kell was joking, but he looked dead serious. My eyebrows drew down into a frown.
“Wait. Are you kidding me? Are you actually telling me to cheat on Jayce?”
“Not at all. It’s not cheating if they both know about it. If they agree to share.”
My mouth popped open. “That’s crazy.”
“It’s the twenty-first century. There’s no reason love triangles need to end in heartache for either party.”
I let out of huff of disbelief. “I could never do something like that.”
Kell quirked an eyebrow. “Oh, no? Are you telling me you’ve never even thought about it?”
I squirmed and fought down a flush. “That’s not the point. The two of them would never go for it.”
“How do you know if you don’t ask?”
I shook my head. “No way, Kell. It’s too crazy. I could never ask for something like that from either of them.”
Kell patted my shoulder and stood up from the sofa. “It’s your decision. Just don’t give up so easily, okay? Think about it at least.”
I remembered that drinking game we’d played at the club. Jayce had been in a ménage before. Had it been with two girls, or had he shared a girl with another man? He clearly didn’t object to the idea of three people sharing a bed, at least.
What about Neil? We’d never talked about anything like that. Then again, he was always so busy with work. Maybe he wouldn’t object to sharing with someone else since he couldn’t always be there for me?
I shook my head, trying to clear those thoughts away. There was no chance of that happening.
Still, a small part of me couldn’t help but wonder.
Might it be possible that I could have the two of them at once?
FERAL SILENCE WAS on fire, lighting up the stage with their performance. The gathered crowd chanted the lyrics and waved their light sticks, screaming the band members’ names during the quieter moments. A few girls in the front row had tears streaming down their faces.
Kell’s smooth voice alternated between growling and purring, bringing an edge of dark sensuality to every word. His messy hair flopped over his forehead, sweat plastering it to his face, but it only served to make his expression that much more frenzied, that much more captivating.
Playing in front of a live crowd seemed to give Ren even more energy than he had in rehearsals. His body rocked and flowed in time with the music, and his bass guitar seemed to be almost an extension of himself.
Morris pounded away at the drums like he was possessed by a demon, the rapid-fire drumbeats reverberating in the chest of every concertgoer. He was half hidden behind his large drum set, but that didn’t stop him from putting every ounce
of energy he had into each strike.
Then there was Jayce. He wore his ever-present leather jacket, but was shirtless underneath, the sweat of exertion and bright lights making his chest and abs glisten. His narrowed eyes looked down and out, his fiery gaze slowly roving over every inch of the concert hall as if he was meeting the eyes of every fan. His fingers ran up and down the fretboard as he played to the crowd, beckoning for them to sing louder, jump higher, dance harder.
Whenever it was time for him to sing backup vocals, those deft fingers caressed the mic stand as if it was a long lost lover. Someone yelled out his name and he ran his tongue over his bottom lip, then bit down lightly, giving the audience that knowing smirk.
As I watched the concert from the pit, as close to the stage as I could get without crawling onto it, I was reminded of the contrast between when Jayce was off-stage and when he was on stage flirting with the audience, gazing at each of them with his dark, seductive eyes. He had to switch it on and off like a lightbulb. No wonder Jayce got panic attacks. I could only imagine what it felt like to feel as if you had lost your identity.
It wasn’t like he was two completely different people, though. Yes, his public persona was a little different from his private one, but even Jayce himself said it was only that brief moment between stage and curtain that caused him problems. It wasn’t like I’d never seen him act the cocky rock star in person.
Jayce’s gaze wandered over the crowd. When he looked down at the front row, he seemed to pause on me. I stiffened and held my breath, camera phone clenched between two hands. I’d seen him in concert enough times that I thought I was used to being only one of many on the receiving end of that stare. Apparently not. I was reacting the exact same way I had when we were alone and he threw me that patented look.
I couldn’t fight the memory of his fingers on my skin, rough and callused. He had made me beg and plead. He had played with me so expertly, the same way he played with the strings on his guitar, like I was his very own instrument to wring sweet music from. In bed, Jayce was every bit the rock star god he acted on stage. Passionate, fervent. For all that Jayce was reserved in private, he certainly seemed expressive enough when bringing me to orgasm.
A heated flush washed through my body at the thought, but I pushed it back. It wasn’t only physical with Jayce. I may have been overwhelmed by that feral gaze of his at the start, but over the last few months I’d gotten to know him. I’d developed feelings for him.
I scanned the hall, taking stock of the audience, and saw Neil on the opposite side of the pit next to one of the camera operators, no doubt telling him how to do his job. I stifled a smile. Typical Neil. Ever the micromanager, ever the bossy one. I’d found out just how commanding he could be when he commanded me to come through text message.
Neil could be a bit of an ass, it was true, but I understood him. He was driven and dedicated the same way I was—willing to do anything to make a name for himself. That’s what I’d liked about him. That drive, that focus. I shivered in memory of what his words had done to me.
There was something in the back of my mind. Something bothering me. Did it have to do with Neil? I glanced over at him as he pointed to the camera operator, telling him to swing the lens over to the left side of the stage to film Jayce, on fire as always.
Neil, with his expression of fierce concentration.
Jayce, with his heated, hungry gaze.
It came to me, then. That thought in the back of my head I hadn’t been able to silence. That comment Jayce had made in that hotel room.
“If you and that Neil guy have something, maybe you shouldn’t give up so easily.”
“I’m not saying we have to break up.”
And Kell’s words when we’d talked about my feelings for the two men.
“…if they agree to share.”
Was that what Jayce was trying to say in the hotel room? Was that why he kept giving me those probing looks?
A combination of excitement and nerves filled my chest at the thought of taking on both men at the same time. The ache between my legs turn that much sweeter, that much hotter.
Could I ever do something so daring?
CHAPTER 20
I SAT IN the tour bus and waited, playing with my phones and jiggling my foot. It was the exact same position I’d been in on my first day, waiting for the band members to show up and find out I’d been assigned to the same tour bus as them.
Jayce had shown up first. He’d looked me over, heat in his eyes. That had been the first moment between us, the beginning of our liaison. So much had changed since that first day.
I hoped Deena gave Jayce my message as soon as possible. Although I knew he’d need a few minutes to himself, I’d asked her to tell him to meet me in the tour bus as soon as the concert was over. I’d told her I needed to speak to him about important work stuff. I’d kept it vague, feeling bad about lying to her, but I needed to have this conversation as soon as possible while I still had the courage.
I’d also sent a message to Neil, saying I’d like to talk with him. I hadn’t told him too many details, not wanting to get pulled into a conversation through text. Some conversations were better had in person.
Especially a conversation like the one I was planning to have with the both of them.
I’d simply said that maybe I’d been too hasty and that we needed to talk things over. His response had been immediate and predictable.
What about Jayce?
That’s part of what I want to talk to you about.
He’d inquired more, but I hadn’t responded.
I went over the speech I’d prepared in my head. How the hell did you begin that type of conversation?
Footsteps sounded on the pavement outside and I sat up straight, taking a deep breath in. Who was going to be first?
An unfamiliar face walked through the tour bus door, a fresh-faced young girl with long blond hair. She didn’t look like a member of the crew. In fact, I couldn’t recall ever seeing her before. I glanced down at the staff badge hanging from her neck. Perhaps she was new and needed help.
She looked around the tour bus in wonder, taking in the leather sofas, the big screen TV, the snacks laid out on the table.
“Can I help you?”
She finally narrowed her focus on me, glaring at me, not speaking.
“I’m sorry, but you really shouldn’t be here. This is the band’s tour bus.”
The girl sneered. “Then why the hell are you here?”
“I work with the band,” I said, taken aback. Not like I owed her an explanation.
“I knew it,” her eyes narrowed. “You’re the goddamn whore who’s been following them around.”
Whoa. Who the hell was this girl?
“I think you need to leave now,” I said, making my voice firm and hard.
“No, I don’t think I do. I think you’re the one who’s going to leave. You’re going to walk out of this bus and leave Jayce alone.”
“Excuse me?” I said, astonished at her words and her tone.
“You heard me.”
“If you don’t leave I’m going to call security.”
“I don’t think you will.”
The girl reached into her purse and pulled out a gun.
CHAPTER 21
I JUMPED BACK, heart pounding loudly in my ears. I half expected the girl to shoot me then and there. She had a loose grip on the gun, but her finger was on the trigger.
“Who are you?” I tried to sound calm and demanding, but all I managed was a faint whisper. My body broke out in a cold sweat.
“The question is, who are you? Who the fuck do you think you are?”
“I—” I stopped, not knowing what she was asking, why she was asking it.
“You must have somehow tricked your way into this job.” She looked me up and down, sneering. “There’s no way someone like you is good enough for Feral Silence.”
“I don’t know what you think I do here, but I just post things on the
internet.” I managed to keep my voice from shaking, but the rest of my body quivered.
“Oh, is that all? You don’t get to follow the band around and hear all their private conversations? You don’t get to take pictures of them behind the scenes? You don’t get to be with them twenty-four-seven?” Her voice rose in pitch with each word. “Who did you fuck to get this job?”
The words were familiar. I’d received a message just like that before. I thought it had been a jealous fan, or perhaps somebody who had applied for the internship as well and lost out to me.
It turned out I was right.
“I applied for the internship, just like everyone else.”
“You’re not anyone else. You’re Audio Ailey, isn’t that right?” She glared at me. “Why would they choose someone like you? You’re not smart, you’re not witty. You’re just a stupid fangirl,” she growled under her breath.
“I’m sorry,” I said, trying to put sincerity behind my words, trying to calm her down. “I’m sure you were just as qualified.”
“I am!” she cried. “I’ve got just as many followers as you! Why didn’t they choose me?”
I stayed silent, not wanting to enrage her even further.
“And then,” she continued, snarling “not only do you get to follow the band around like a pet, you go and start fucking Jayce.” The girl’s hand trembled in anger, the gun shaking along with it. I tensed up, afraid she would accidentally twitch her finger and fire. I hoped to god Jayce or Neil showed up before she lost control and shot me. I would have to stall her. I just had to keep her talking.
“You must have tricked him somehow,” she said, nodding her head to herself. “Jayce would never fall for a stupid whore like you. If he had the chance, he would never choose someone like you over someone like me.”
How had she known? How had she found out? This girl must have been following our every move. How had I not seen her lurking around before?
“There’s nothing between me and Jayce.”
“I heard you talking to their manager. You wanted to meet Jayce in the tour bus tonight.”
Bad & Bold - A 7 Book Bad Boy Romance Collection! Page 39