by V. K. Powell
The thought made her cringe. No wonder Alex seemed uneasy around her. She probably owed the woman a huge apology. Alex didn’t create the problem with the use-of-force investigation, and Keri had to stop blaming her for it. The more time she spent around the lieutenant, the less she seemed like the ladder-climbing opportunist Keri had imagined. One thing was for sure, there was much more to Alex than a hard-nosed cop. Keri hadn’t imagined the compassion and deep feelings on Alex’s face when they talked about Josh and Stacey. The more she saw of that sensitive, caring woman, the more she wanted to see. And that wasn’t all Keri wanted. The few times they’d touched, their bodies seemed to fit so perfectly she couldn’t imagine holding another person. So far she’d managed not to show her growing attraction for Alex. She wondered if she could keep that up much longer.
The nurse turned from her workstation and snapped latex gloves onto her hands. “If you’re ready, we’ll get this done.” She corded a length of rubber tubing around Keri’s bicep and stuck a needle into her bulging vein.
As the tube filled with her blood the reality of why she was in this place returned to Keri. She’d been drugged. She didn’t need a test to prove it. The effects on her body and memory were definitely not the result of the single beer she’d consumed. It could’ve been much worse. She could’ve ended up like Josh and Stacey—young, promising, and dead.
Keri thought about the things she’d regret if her life had ended last night. The list was long and the weight of it settled in her chest. She wouldn’t be able to nurse her mother through the terrible disease that ravaged her mind and body. The rift with her father would go unresolved and the scars would never heal. She wouldn’t find justice for Josh or become a real narcotics detective. The blot on her career from the use-of-force investigation would remain forever. Alex Troy would always believe she was a dishonest and unreliable officer. And, with an agonizing stab of sadness, Keri realized she would never make love with Alex. She wanted that, and more, with all her heart. The connection between them was hard to explain, but she felt it in every fiber of her being. She wanted a chance to explore that connection. Keri wasn’t sure when it happened or how, only that everything had changed and the possibilities called to her as powerfully as the primal urge to mate.
*
Alex navigated her old Mercedes coupe along the mountain roads leading to Beth and Tammy’s place on Poplar Lake in Virginia. The two-hour drive gave her plenty of time to think about Keri and what she should do about her feelings. Maybe she’d talk to Tammy this weekend, if she didn’t lose her nerve.
As she drove, her sunroof allowed the distinctive smells of freshly plowed earth and strewn fertilizer to permeate the car. Cows and horses dotted the pristine countryside grazing on short grass and hay bales. She’d forgotten what being in the real country looked and smelled like. Nearing Beth and Tammy’s house, Alex thought the drive had passed too quickly.
A border of Leyland cypress lined the driveway into Beth’s cedar log cabin, producing the illusion of a hidden gateway. The two-story house sported a wraparound porch and rested at the bottom of the drive. It was silhouetted against the sparkling waters of Poplar Lake and appeared to be floating.
Tammy stood on the porch motioning her toward the open side of the two-car detached garage. Alex pulled inside, grabbed her overnight bag, closed the garage door, and walked toward her friend’s partner. A small butterfly-bush garden adorned the side yard along the walkway. Tammy’s ferns hung from the porch corners, variegated fingers beckoning Alex to enter, as inviting as their owner.
“It’s great to see you, Alex.” Her name always sounded so sensual coming from this willowy strawberry-blonde. Tammy gave her a full-body hug and they walked into the house arm in arm. The smell of baking bread permeated the homey interior.
“It’s really good to be here,” Alex said.
Tammy replaced her overnight bag with a frosty drink. Lifting her own glass, she toasted, “Here’s to weekends.”
Alex took a big sip. It’d been months since she’d had one of Tammy’s special concoctions—vodka tonic with a hint of peach schnapps. The effects were immediate. “Strong, as usual.” She smiled gratefully. “But much appreciated.”
“Beth told me you were injured in a wreck. How are you?”
“I’m fine, just a few bumps and scrapes.”
“Sit and keep me company while I finish this salad. Catch me up on police department gossip.” Tammy gestured to the counter that separated kitchen and dining areas.
“Can I help with anything?” Alex asked.
“There’s nothing to do. The bread is baking, salad is making, and Beth should be along anytime now. She’ll put the steaks and chicken on the grill later. Besides, you’re a guest.”
“I thought she’d be here by now. Sorry, I didn’t realize a trip to the hospital would tie her up this long, but then it is the weekend.”
“Relax, Alex, and try to forget about work for a while.”
Alex surveyed the interior of the house and sipped her drink. She was invariably impressed with Tammy’s unique ability to make the natural log walls come alive. Patchwork quilts adorned the vertical surfaces and loft railing adding to the feeling of warmth and comfort. Dazzling displays of refracted light were masterfully directed through stained glass fixtures and window ornaments.
Their home exuded such an ambience of serenity that Alex felt embraced by love each time she entered. The confines of work and the burdensome task of self-protection slipped away as Alex allowed herself to relax.
Tammy put an immediate end to her respite. “So, Beth tells me you’re interested in someone.”
“Don’t ever repeat that to anyone, please.” Alex tried to be angry, but she knew Beth was coming from a place of caring.
Tammy continued calmly chopping vegetables. She gave Alex one of her most reassuring glances. “You need a life beyond the vicarious pleasures of your friends. We’ve been worried. We want you to be happy because we love you.”
“If that’s not my cue for some free counseling, I’ve never heard one.” Alex propped an elbow on the counter and rested her chin against her hand. “Tammy, I don’t know what to do. I admit I’m attracted to someone, but there are too many obstacles. For a start, I work with her.”
Tammy changed to her therapist voice. “Then she must be struggling with some of the same issues if she’s attracted to you, too.”
“Sometimes I think she is, and God knows she gives me some interesting looks. But I’m not sure I could offer her the life she wants, if she even knows what that is.” Alex watched Tammy’s knife slice the vegetables with the precision of a master chef.
“What do you like about her?”
The stormy conflict Alex often felt dissolved into a calm that made her smile. “I think it’s a combination of her vitality and tenderness. She’s so eager to experience life and she does it with such sincerity and reverence. I guess I’m drawn to that. Sometimes I feel so…jaded, being around her makes me remember…”
Myself. Alex fell silent, startled by the thought and thankful she had kept it to herself. Tammy raised her eyebrows. “There’s something else, isn’t there?”
“Yes.” Where to begin? “This will sound strange, but it’s like she’s a pain eradicator.”
“I don’t think I’ve ever heard that one before.”
“She senses when I’m hurting and tries to make it better. I swear I can feel it being drawn out of me, but it doesn’t seem to weigh her down.” Alex paused, uncomfortable to be speaking so candidly about feelings she still didn’t fully understand herself. “I don’t even think she knows she’s doing it. Sounds stupid, huh?”
“Not at all,” Tammy reassured her. “It’s sort of like my job. Learning to feel and respect the pain of others, but not being crippled by it. Otherwise, I couldn’t function.”
“But Keri—that’s her name—has never had that kind of training,” Alex said.
“So, she learned the hard way. She lived throu
gh pain and survived.”
“I’ve got no right to dump my garbage on her. She deserves better than a battle-scarred lesbo like me.”
“Oh, Alex, don’t,” Tammy said impatiently. “You’re one of the best, most kindhearted people I know. You’re just afraid of being hurt again and that’s normal.”
Alex heaved a heavy sigh. “Then there’s the work thing. I can’t get involved with somebody on the job, especially not a subordinate.”
“That’s the least of your worries, love,” Tammy continued. “Work situations change all the time. You could find other interests. This woman could decide the force isn’t for her and move on. Don’t let your job stand in the way of a chance for happiness.”
Alex thought of her parents’ business and her father’s wish for her future. “Maybe you’re right.”
“I think you should let yourself be open to possibility. That’s all.” Tammy gave Alex’s hand a loving pat and said, “Come on, let’s relax.”
She led Alex from the kitchen to the rocking chairs on the covered porch overlooking the lake. For the next hour or so they talked, laughed, drank, and caught up on current events and relived old memories. Warmth from her surroundings coupled with the stimulation of two vodka tonics tamed Alex’s stress and loosened the worries of work.
“You and Beth are so lucky,” she mused, looking out toward the water. “I mean to find each other. A relationship like yours is rare. You complement the good and ‘needs improvement’ areas of each other’s lives beautifully.”
“Yeah, we’ve been together years and I still love her so much. Sometimes it feels like I’ve been drugged.”
Alex caught a sharp breath at the offhand remark. She couldn’t believe she hadn’t thought about Keri’s tests for at least an hour. She was so relaxed and comfortable that work seemed a lifetime away. She took out her cell phone but Tammy immediately announced her objections.
“Put that away. If there’s bad news at work, you’ll hear soon enough.”
“I guess so. Maybe I’ll take a sunset dip. I love this time of day.”
Alex moved to the deck railing and gazed out at the lake, not really seeing the beauty in front of her. Tammy was right. All too often she pretended to take time off and ended up working. In the end, her body, mind, and spirit had suffered. This time she wanted it to be different. There was too much at stake. She had important things to think about and she wanted to give herself the mental space to do so.
The walkway to the dock virtually sprouted blooming black-eyed Susans and petunias. A woman would have to be a nurturer to spend so much time on landscaping at a vacation home, but that described Tammy perfectly. Her deep concern for everything living transcended her role as a therapist. Maybe a therapist was exactly what Alex needed to sort out the jumble of emotions that battled inside her. She wasn’t having much luck by herself.
*
Ten minutes later Tammy heard the crunching-gravel approach of her partner’s car and then Beth hurried toward the house. A second woman emerged from the passenger side.
“Honestly, honey,” Tammy greeted Beth at the door. “I still think you should’ve told them both. Alex is going to kill you for playing matchmaker.”
“I know, but some things are just worth the risk.” Beth grinned sheepishly.
“Get down to the dock and tell Alex so she’s not completely blindsided.”
“I will as soon as I introduce you to Keri,” Beth grabbed Tammy in a bear hug and nibbled playfully on her ear.
“Don’t think for one second you’re fooling me, Beth Price.” Tammy’s lips met Beth’s and parted when she needed to breathe. “I love you.”
The lusty look in her eyes told Beth it was as true then as it had been the first time they kissed. “I love you too, babe.” She opened the door wide and urged Keri, “Come on in. This is Tammy, my partner.”
“It’s so good to meet you, Keri. Beth has told me a lot about you.”
Keri seemed surprised, but she returned Tammy’s enthusiastic hug and said, “Thanks for the invitation. I was so excited when Beth asked me to come up. I need a break.”
“You’re so welcome. Sit, please.” Tammy motioned to the bar. “Can I get you a drink?”
“A beer would be perfect.” Keri thought about her last beer and almost reconsidered.
Tammy handed her a bottle of Michelob, then pulled steaks and chicken from the refrigerator. “How are your folks doing?” she asked as she worked. “Beth tells me you live at home to help them out.”
“The doctors say my dad can live to a ripe old age if he does as he’s told, but he can be stubborn. He doesn’t understand about heart problems. My mom is slowly deteriorating. Alzheimer’s. It’s sad to watch. One day she seems like her old self and the next she’s gone.”
“It’s a terribly difficult disease for the patient and the family. I’m so sorry.” Tammy asked, “What’s this I hear about you getting drugged?”
Keri’s beer stopped halfway to her lips. “I still don’t know what really happened with the target. Beth gave me the sanitized version.” Keri’s hesitation and sad blue eyes hinted at wounds old and new.
“The operation went well,” Beth said. “And you’re doing a great job. Now if you’ll both excuse me, I need to take care of a few things.” She dropped a kiss on Tammy’s cheek and vanished up the stairs.
“I’m sure this assignment means a lot to you,” Tammy said as she seasoned the steaks.
“Yes, it’s a big opportunity.” Keri enjoyed talking to someone outside the police community and for some reason she felt comfortable with Tammy even though they’d just met. She had a sense that Tammy could understand her need to prove herself in a job that was often unrewarding and thankless. “I don’t want to let anyone down.”
“I can’t see that happening,” Tammy said. “You’re obviously a caring and devoted daughter and I hear you also have the potential to be a top-notch narcotics officer.”
“Thank you.” Keri scraped the moistened label from her beer bottle and looked everywhere in the room except at Tammy. She wasn’t sure why it felt so strange to be complimented, or why she assumed automatically that Tammy was just being nice to her partner’s colleague.
As if Tammy had read her mind, she said, “For what it’s worth, Beth really does think highly of you or she wouldn’t have invited you out here.”
Embarrassed to be so transparent, Keri said, “I’m sorry. I guess I’m just shaken up after what happened last night. I should have been more careful, or at least known I’d been slipped something. Instead, I have to be…rescued by my boss.”
“And you’d rather impress her, huh?”
Keri laughed. She could feel guilty color washing her face.
“I see.” Tammy’s gaze was very direct. Too direct for comfort. “Alex has that effect.”
“You know her.” Keri felt silly. Of course Tammy knew her partner’s best friend.
“Not as well as Beth does, but we’re both very fond of her.” Seeing something shift in Keri’s expression, Tammy said, “You seem bothered by her, or am I imagining it?”
After a long silence, Keri replied, “No, you’re not imagining it. Alex and I have some history. I behaved badly, and…I guess I just want her to give me a chance.”
“Alex is one of the fairest people I know. I’m sure you have nothing to worry about.”
If only it were that simple. Keri sighed. She took a deep breath as tears welled up in her eyes. Without thinking, she said, “I wish I didn’t care so much.” She lowered her head instantly. How indiscreet could she get?
Tammy wasn’t stupid. “You’re attracted to Alex?”
Keri looked around desperately. “I should be helping with something. Where did Beth go?”
“I think she went down to the dock.” Tammy glanced out the window, concerned that Beth hadn’t returned. Hopefully she’d had time to run interference with Alex.
“Great. Mind if I join her?” Keri picked up her beer from the co
unter. “I’ve got a suit on under my shorts. I was so excited about taking a swim tonight.”
“Be my guest. It’s beautiful at sunset.” Tammy walked outdoors with her. “But tell me something first. Do you care about Alex? I mean, personally.”
Pretending seemed pointless. Keri placed her hand over her heart and let out a halting breath. “She just fills me up, Tammy. I never thought I’d feel this way about anyone.”
“Then I have some advice for you. Tell her.”
Keri’s eyes locked onto Tammy’s. “I don’t think she wants to hear.”
“Maybe she doesn’t know what she wants.” Tammy sounded very serious all of a sudden. “In life, we don’t always get second chances. Go with your heart, Keri. That’s the best advice I can give you.”
“Then I’ll take it,” came the soft reply.
“There’s something else,” Tammy said. “I’m sure you’ve noticed the place settings for four. Alex is down at the dock.”
Startled, Keri backed up. “How—”
“I think Beth’s trying to do a bit of matchmaking of her own, but she should’ve told you.”
A sparkle drove the uncertainty from Keri’s eyes. “Then I’d better not disappoint her,” she said with a hint of mischief. “Wish me luck.”
Chuckling, Tammy said, “I do.”
Just as Keri walked away, Beth came bouncing out the back door. Tammy shot her a pleading look. “Tell me you’ve warned Alex about our fourth guest.”
Beth shook her head. “I was just going down there now.”
“Too late.” Tammy eyed her lover fondly.
Comprehension dawned on Beth’s face. “Where’s Keri?”
They both looked toward the dock. “On her way to a close encounter of a weird kind,” Tammy said.