by Banks, R. R.
In some ways, Aidan and I are two sides of the same coin. Two people who've obviously been broken. Two people trying to hide from the darkness and pain by avoiding human connection.
I can’t explain it, but I feel this strange, compelling energy building between us. I can't deny that I feel drawn to Aidan. And that scares me. I don't want to feel attracted to him – to anybody, really.
When Aidan suddenly leans forward, my breath catches in my throat and my heart starts to race. He presses his lips to mine, and it feels like the entire world has stopped turning. I'm so surprised, I don't know how to react. I sit there, frozen in place. Aidan pulls back, and his eyes are wide, his expression one of pure shock, which I'm sure matches the one plastered on my face.
“I – I'm sorry, Katie,” he says. “I didn't –”
He doesn’t get a chance to finish that statement, because without thinking, I lean forward and kiss him. His gasp is muffled as I slide my tongue into his mouth.
He runs his hands through my hair, gently pulling on it as our tongues swirl and dance together. I run my hands over the hard planes and angles of his body, gripping the tight, corded muscles of his arms, a fire burning between my thighs.
I know I shouldn't be doing this. And yet, I can't seem to stop myself. The longer we kiss, the longer we touch and caress, the hotter my desire burns – and the more I want him. This is wrong. So, so wrong. But right now, I don’t care. Aidan’s reignited a fire inside of me I haven't felt in years. He's turned on a light in the darkest room in my soul, and I find myself rushing headlong into it, like a moth drawn to the flame.
Aidan pulls me onto his lap, his hands sliding down my back until he's cupping my ass. He squeezes it tight and kisses my neck as he slides my shirt off me, tossing it onto the table behind us. I reach back, unhooking my bra as he leans forward.
A shudder runs through me as he lavishes my nipple with the tip of his tongue. As he kisses my breasts, Aidan glides his hands up my legs, slipping them underneath the long, flowing skirt I wore today. His fingertips on my inner thighs leaves a trail of fire along my delicate skin. Suddenly, Aidan pulls back and looks at me. In his eyes, I see that he’s scared. Uncertain. But, the shadow of something else is also there. Something I can't quite identify.
“Are you sure about this?” he asks.
No, I'm not. Not really. There are so many reasons we shouldn't do this. But, at the same time, I don't want to stop – and I can see that he doesn't either.
I nod but say nothing. Slowly, Aidan leans forward and kisses me again. It's a soft kiss at first, a little tentative, as if he's unconvinced this is something he should be doing. A moment later, the hesitation has all but faded as our kiss grows hotter and more intense.
I gasp as he touches me through my panties, his fingertips grazing the warm, wet center of me. He presses his fingers harder against the fabric, rubbing my clit. My panties are soaked already and having him touching me is only turning me on more. I bite my bottom lip as he pulls them to the side and slips a finger deep inside of me.
Grabbing his hair, I pull it fiercely and moan, my body exploding with sensations I haven't felt – maybe ever. Especially not with Victor. With him, it was always about his pleasure, and what I could to do make him feel good. I can tell, even now, that Aidan is different from him in that way. To Aidan Anderson, my pleasure obviously matters.
“Oh god, yes,” I say as he starts thrusting his finger, sliding it deeper into me.
I rock on his lap as he fingers me, my cries drifting up and into the crisp autumn air, echoing through the woods that surround us. At least I don't have to worry about anybody overhearing me, given that his nearest neighbor is more than half a mile away. We’re totally free to enjoy ourselves.
He kisses my neck and slips a second finger into me, driving them in with a passionate zeal. This feels so fucking surreal. I can't believe this is happening. Tingles of electricity and bliss roll across my skin in waves, and I never want it to end. It's been so long since I've had anything other than my own fingers between my legs, I've almost forgotten how amazing it feels. I rock my hips, grinding myself against him. I take his fingers into me even deeper, relishing the feel of his tongue on my skin, as he mercilessly licks my neck and sucks on my breasts.
Suddenly, I realize I need more – so much more.
“I need you inside of me, Aidan,” I say, sliding off his lap. “Please.”
I kiss him as I start working on his belt. Once it’s undone, I unzip his pants and slide my hand inside. I feel him tense, that inscrutable look upon his face once more as I grab hold of his stiff cock. He lets out a soft moan as I wrap my hand tight around the base and start to stroke him. His cock is longer and thicker than I'm used to, and some small part of me worries about having him inside of me, fearing that it might hurt.
He slides his pants down, giving me better access. Aidan's gaze is locked on mine as I jerk him off, and the lust in his eyes is powerful. Tangible. I can feel his desire pressing down upon me with an almost physical presence. Biting my bottom lip, I start to slip to my knees, wanting nothing more than to feel his cock in my mouth. To bring him the same pleasure he'd just brought me. But, he stops me.
Aidan picks me up like I weigh nothing at all and sets me on the table. He pushes my skirt up around my waist and pulls my panties down, tossing them behind me, where I assume they join the company of my shirt and bra.
He touches me again, sliding his fingers into my pussy, which makes me draw in a sharp breath. Aidan withdraws his fingers and then raises them to his lips, my juices glistening in the fading sunlight. I watch him intently as he slips them into his mouth, seeming to savor the very taste of me. Watching him lick my juices from his fingertips – and relish the taste – turns me on more than I think anything else ever has.
“I need to be inside of you, Katie,” he says, his voice low and gruff with need. “Right now. I need to fuck you.”
My throat grows dry, but my heart thunders with excitement. I can't find the words in that moment, so I just nod eagerly. I point to my purse, which is sitting on the table, next to the basket. Aidan looks at it and then back at me, not understanding.
“Condom,” I finally manage to croak out. “In my bag.”
I swallow hard as my heart continues to beat so violently, I'm half-convinced it's going to burst straight out of my chest. Aidan leans over and fishes a condom out of my bag, quickly opening it and unrolling it down the length of his cock. I’m struck again by how large he is and feel a quiver of fear pass through me at the thought of such a large dick thrusting inside of me.
Aidan doesn't give me a lot of time to ponder it, though. Finished unrolling the condom, he steps forward and slowly enters me. I draw in a sharp breath as he stretches me open, and wince at the sharp sting of pain gripping my body, making me tense up. The discomfort quickly fades as I'm overcome by a rush of warmth and pleasure. And when Aidan starts to move his hips, thrusting deep inside of me, I see the desire in his eyes is fierce. Intense. He pushes me onto my back and pins me to the table, my legs resting on his powerful forearms. Aidan slams that deliciously hard cock into me again and again, fucking me as the sound of our bodies slapping together echoes through the afternoon air, mixing with my cries of ecstasy, filling the forest with an erotic soundtrack.
“You're so fucking tight,” he growls.
“You feel so good,” I manage to stutter, my voice breathy.
I try to move, to sit up, but Aidan holds me down. I'm pinned to the table, helpless, while he pounds his thick, hard cock into me. I feel completely powerless as he fucks me, as he uses my body – but there's something sexy about it. There's something about his total control over me that is incredibly hot.
I know I should find it scary. I should be threatened by a man having this kind of power and control over me, given what I went through with Victor. But, I know by now that Aidan is nothing like Victor. Even though I don’t know him very well – I feel like I can trust Aidan. I know,
beyond a shadow of a doubt, he would never hurt me. Ever. I'm sure he'd die before ever laying a hand on me.
It's insane, I know. Beyond insane. But, there's something about him that makes me feel – safe. It's a nice feeling. It's what makes me comfortable ceding my power to him.
A low, rough growl bubbles up out of Aidan's throat as he picks up his rhythm and fucks me even harder. Sweat drips from his brow, sparkling like jewels in the sunlight, and for a moment, I regret not taking his shirt off of him so I could marvel at his entire body.
I feel my body tightening and know that he's bringing me to the edge of the first orgasm I haven’t given myself in over a year. I look up at him, relishing the feel of him pounding himself inside of me, when I'm suddenly overwhelmed with ecstasy, and cry out.
“I – I'm going to come,” I gasp.
“Come for me, Katie,” he grunts. “I want you to come for me.”
As if his words are the key to unlock my orgasm, the heat that rushes through my body is almost instant, leaving me trembling and shaking wildly as my release crashes down over me. I open my mouth, but all that comes out are stuttering gasps. I'm caught up in the grips of a pleasure I've never known, and my entire body is in shock over it.
Aidan lets go of my arms and steps back, wiping the sweat from his brow. He looks down at me, the fires of lust in his eyes not yet quenched. He grabs hold of me, and quickly spins me around, bending me over the table. I feel his hand in the middle of my back, holding me down.
As he pushes my skirt up around my waist, I feel a wicked smile upon my lips. I'm so fucking turned on, it's not even funny. I feel the head of his cock press against me, and with one smooth motion, Aidan’s fully sheathed inside me once more. As he starts to thrust his cock into me, I’m overwhelmed by the sensations, and cry out in ecstasy. He fucks me hard, driving his cock into me again and again. As he starts to thrust his cock into me, I’m overwhelmed by the sensations, and cry out in ecstasy. I hear his breathing growing ragged, and his thrusts are more frantic. I know he's getting close.
“Come for me, Aidan,” I moan.
His grip on my hips tightens, his fingers pressing into my flesh. A low growl escapes his throat as he pounds into me.
“Jesus,” he gasps.
I press back against him, squeezing his cock with my inner muscles as he drives himself into me, his thrusting becoming slower and more measured. I know he’s trying to hold back and make this last. My body is tight, and I'm shaking at the sensations vibrating through me.
“I'm going to come,” he grunts through gritted teeth.
“Yes, Aidan,” I moan. “God, yes. Come for me.”
When I feel his cock pulsing as he bursts inside of me, I almost lose all of my remaining control. He lets out an animalistic growl as he comes, filling the condom inside of me.
Slowly, our breathing returns to normal, and the warm afterglow that had enveloped us begins to dissipate. Aidan steps back, his deflating cock slipping out of me. I turn around and watch as he slips the condom off and tosses it into the trashcan next to the table.
We both stand there, staring at one another for a long moment. The awkwardness that had infused the air between us when I'd first arrived is back, thicker than ever. Clearing his throat, Aidan bends down and pulls his pants up, quickly buttoning them. I smooth down my skirt and retrieve my clothes from the table, just throwing my shirt on, and tossing my bra into my bag.
He looks at me like he wants to say something, but closes his mouth without saying a word. Aidan looks down at his hands, and his face is filled with an expression I can only interpret as regret. Which, of course, makes me feel like absolute shit.
“Well – umm – thank you,” he says lamely. “For today. It was great.”
“Yeah,” I say, trying to suppress the anger and despair welling up within me. “Sure. It was great.”
He looks around, obviously searching for a way out of this. A way to get me out the door. I can take a hint and do my best to not get too upset. After all, it's not like he promised me anything. I went into this knowing that he's as damaged as I am. I just know it. Which means, logically, I shouldn’t be upset at him for acting like I know he might.
But, a small piece of me is still hurt by this sudden switch in behavior. A few minutes ago, Aidan couldn't get enough of me. Now, it seems like he can't get rid of me fast enough. It's a rejection that stings – even though I know it shouldn't. He did ask me if I was sure. I saw the hesitance in his eyes. Saw him searching for a way to stop the lust train before it ever left the station. But, I was too damn horny for my own good. We both were.
“So, I'll see you at the bar soon?” he asks.
“Yeah,” I say. “At the bar. Sure.”
“Great,” he replies and nods. “Well, let me walk you out.”
I shake my head quickly. “It's okay,” I say. “I can find my own way out.”
I leave him standing there, my cheeks burning bright as intense shame sweeps over me. As I rush out to my car, I bite back the tears, refusing to let them fall over this. Feeling a humiliation deeper than anything I've ever experienced, I jump behind the wheel, and start the car.
I drive off as fast as I can, wishing like hell I'd never come up here.
Aidan
One Month Later…
“It's really good to see you, man,” he says. “It's been a while.”
I nod. “Yeah, I've been kind of bunkered down up here,” I say. “Sorry I've been out of touch for a bit.”
Davis waves me off. “It's all good,” he says. “I can’t help but worry about you sometimes, man.”
I give him a wry chuckle. “Sometimes, I worry about me too, to be honest.”
Davis Rodgers is one of my closest friends. We met when we were in high school and have been close ever since. After high school, Davis went off to the military. He became an Army Ranger and served almost a decade running missions that were so top secret, he still can't tell me about them.
After he rotated home for good, Davis founded a private security firm – Spearpoint. Spearpoint mainly handles contracted security work for celebrities, politicians and other dignitaries, but Davis still does some consulting work overseas. His company has really taken off, and I'm glad to see it. He deserves it.
“Seriously, how are you holding up these days?” he asks.
I shrug. “Better some days,” I say. “Worse on others.”
He nods as if he understands – and I know he does. Davis understands the pain of death and loss better than anyone else in my life. He's been through it. More than once.
We're sitting on the back deck, having a couple of beers as the sun begins to slip toward the horizon, the sky starting to turn vibrant shades of red and orange, matching the foliage of the forest around us. The world is a riot of color and is simply breathtaking in its natural beauty. One thing I love about the mountain is the fact that it never gets all that hot up here. I hate the heat and humidity of the South.
I hadn't been expecting him when Davis showed up. But then, he’s never been big on formalities. He's always been the type to blow in and then disappear just as fast. He's a man who is constantly in motion and always on the go.
I always appreciate when he stops by, though. Davis and I understand each other in ways other people don't. It's good to have him around, even though I hadn’t seen or heard from him in about six months. But, he showed up this afternoon with beer and steaks. He even brought one for Oliver.
“So, what keeps you busy these days?” I ask.
“Been overseas for the last couple of months,” he replies. “Some Congressman needed bodyguards and requested I be there personally.”
“Where'd you go? Afghanistan?”
He smirks. “London,” he says. “As terrifying as that place is. Personally, I think having a security detail around him makes him feel more important than he actually is.”
I laugh and take a long pull of my beer. Davis idly scratches Oliver behind the ears, putting my dog
in a near trance as he looks around at the trees that soar high into the sky. Birds flit by, their song filling the air around us, and an image of what Katie and I did on the table I'm sitting at with Davis, flashes through my head.
It's been almost a month since that day, and I still can't get it out of my head. I still think about it. Think about her. Of course, our time together had ended as abruptly as it had awkwardly, and I haven't been able to bring myself to fix the situation. I've avoided going down the mountain and haven't set foot in her bar since that day.
Which, I guess, makes me a world class asshole.
I ruthlessly push all thoughts about her deep down, and listen to the birds and squirrels chittering and chirping all around us. Other than that, the world around us is pretty silent.
“This place is really peaceful,” he says. “I can see why you like it up here.”
“I think it's what I need right now,” I say. “Some quiet and solitude.”
He nods, and I know he gets it. “You know, I'm thinking that I'm going to retire soon. Or at least, take a more hands-off approach to Spearpoint's day-to-day operations,” he says. “And when I do, remember that I’ve called dibs on this place when you move back to Savannah.”
I chuckle. “Retire? You're too young to retire, fool,” I say. “And besides, if you retire, you won't know what to do with yourself.”
“I think doing nothing but enjoying the peace and quiet for a while sounds nice,” he says. “I've had more than my share of excitement for one lifetime.”
“That's probably true,” I reply. “But, who says I'm ever going back to Savannah?”
He gives me a long look. “Because you're not the type to hide out in the mountains forever,” he says.
“Maybe I am now,” I say and look off into the distance. “A lot has changed. Everything's changed.”