by Banks, R. R.
And of course, it makes me curious about how that knife she's hiding factors into it all.
Katie has an inscrutable look on her face, but a light of gratitude and relief shines in her eyes.
“Thank you for saying that,” she says. “It means – a lot to me.”
“There's no need for you to thank me, Katie,” I say. “I just – you just needed to know that what happened wasn't your fault. It wasn't about you. I was an asshole, and I dealt with my own shit poorly. I – like you, Katie. I like you a lot, and I don't ever want to upset you or make you feel somehow unworthy. Because believe me, you're more than worthy. You're special. And you deserve a lot better than an asshole like me. You deserve more than the way I made you feel. I’m sorry.”
She smiles, but the tears continue to roll down her cheeks. I can tell there is a lot of emotion boiling inside of her, and I suspect that most of it has nothing to do with me. Whatever it is though, I'm glad to see a smile on her face – one that's warm, genuine, and actually reaches her eyes this time.
Our gazes are locked as my heart begins to race. Reaching out, I wipe away the tears on her cheeks with my thumb. It's an innocent gesture, one meant to soothe and calm, but when my skin makes contact with hers, I feel a powerful current of electricity run through me. I feel the heat flaring up inside of me, and before I know it, I'm pulling her toward me.
When our lips touch, and she slips her tongue into my mouth, I'm rocked by an explosion of sensation. Katie presses herself into me, and she's putting as much intensity into her kiss as I am.
There's a small voice in my head telling me to stop; that this isn't what I came here for – that this will only make things more complicated between us. But, feeling her hands roaming all over me, feeling her tight, firm body pressed to mine, pretty much guarantees I'm not listening to it. As our kiss grows hotter and harder, my cock becomes stiff, and I surrender to the moment.
She pulls back for a moment, and I can see the desire flaring in her eyes. I can see the passion and the longing I'm sure is reflected in mine. We both know we shouldn't be doing this, but seem powerless to stop it.
I lean back and pull her back down on top of me. She's straddling me, grinding herself against me as we kiss. I slide my hands down her back and cup her ass, pulling her down onto me. Katie lets out a soft breath as she rocks her hips, sliding herself up and down on my thick shaft.
“We really shouldn't do this,” she whispers.
“I know,” I reply. “We should stop.”
Our eyes are locked onto one another, and although her grinding has slowed, she's still rubbing herself up and down on my cock. Katie's eyes flutter, and she lets out a small groan.
“I don't want to,” she says.
“Good,” I reply softly. “I don't want to either.”
She lowers her head back down and kisses me again, harder, and with even more intensity than before. I pull her shirt up and slip it off, tossing it aside carelessly. She responds by sliding her hands up my shirt, letting her fingertips trail along my skin, sending a shiver running through me. I raise my arms and let her take the shirt off of me. With a flirty grin, she throws it carelessly across the room just as I'd done to hers.
I sit up, and then get to my feet, picking her up with ease. She lets out a giggle as she wraps her legs around my waist and locks her hands behind my neck. Both of us shirtless, her full breasts pressed to my chest, I walk down the hallway.
“Second door on the right,” she says and kisses my neck.
I take her into the room and set her down on the bed, our mouths locked together, our tongues swirling in an erotic dance.
“Are you sure you want to do this?” I ask, giving her one last out.
“Shut up and fuck me, Aidan.”
That's all the answer I need.
Katie
I can't believe we’re doing this again. But, there's this strange, inexplicable magnetism between us that I can't deny. No matter how hard I try – and I've tried – I can't pretend it doesn't exist. It's as overwhelming as it is unexpected. And although some small piece of my brain is screaming at me to stop, the more primal, lustful part of my brain – and my body – surrenders to the moment.
“Take off your pants,” I say, my voice tight with desire.
Aidan flashes me one of his roguish smiles that makes my heart skip a beat. He reaches for his belt quickly, obviously as anxious as I am. I sneak a quick glance at the clock and see that it's almost noon. Jessa works until two today, so we have a little bit of time. Which is a good thing. I want to slow this down and savor every moment of this.
“Slowly,” I say, my voice thick with desire. “Give me a show.”
Knowing a little bit of Aidan's backstory, and that I’m not just a piece of ass to him, eases my mind. Seeing the pain in his eyes when he spoke of his fiancée let me know it was real. That he wasn't just making excuses or trying to justify how awkward and strained things got.
And of course, hearing him tell me that he likes me – that made my heart swell with feelings I don't know I've ever felt before. Certainly nothing I ever felt with Victor. There are so many emotions swirling around within me, and I don't know how to identify them, let alone what to do with them.
The undercurrent of all this, though, is the fact that I'm pregnant with his child, and he doesn't know. I meant to tell him. He just caught me completely by surprise when he showed up on my doorstep the way he did. I wasn't prepared. Not one bit.
I had a whole speech planned out, and I was going to go up to his place, deliver it, and let the chips fall where they may. But, here we are, doing what got us into this mess in the first place, all over again. Yet, I don't want to stop. As crazy as it sounds, I want Aidan. Need him. My whole body is crying out for him and begging for the release only he can give me.
My speech can wait for a little while longer. It's not like anything will change in the next hour or so, anyway. Right?
His eyes smoldering with a raw lust, Aidan slowly unbuckles his belt and then his pants. His gaze never leaves mine as he slides the zipper down. Quickly growing impatient, I reach out and pull him closer to me. Grabbing hold of his pants, I slide them down his hips. The bulge in his boxer briefs sets my most intimate parts ablaze. He moans softly when I grab hold of him through his boxers, rubbing and stroking his cock.
I look up at him and run the tip of my tongue around my lips suggestively. His eyes are wild with desire. I want him. I need him. I need him deep inside of me.
“Tell me what you want,” I say.
“I want your mouth on my cock, Katie.”
“How bad do you want it?”
He grabs hold of my hair, intent on showing me just how bad he wants it, but I swat his hand away and grin at him.
“Not so fast,” I say, teasing him. “I want you to tell me.”
“I want it so bad it hurts,” he says, his voice husky.
The smile that stretches across my face at his words is almost leonine, and I want nothing more than to devour him right there on the spot.
“You like that, Katie?” he asks.
Rather than answer him, I decide to show him what I think about it. I slip his boxer briefs down and feel my breath catch in my throat when his cock springs free. I run my fingernails up and down his thick shaft, feeling a shudder pass through his body at my touch. He looks down at me, and I can see the hunger in his eyes. The yearning.
Leaning forward, I plant a soft kiss on the end of his member, slipping my tongue out to tease the sensitive spot just beneath the head. Aidan draws in a sharp breath. His brows are furrowed and his jaw tight. I can see how badly he wants me to swallow his cock. His face is etched with the most intense expression of desire I’ve ever seen on another person. I smile as I run the tip of my tongue up and down his thick shaft, giving him a few gentle strokes with my hand. Slowly. I make sure to take my time, and not rush it.
I love having this power and control over him.
I can feel Aidan's bo
dy tense, as he grows impatient, and I look up at him with amusement in my eyes. I can see the raw need in his face. His face is flushed, and I know he's trying so hard to not just take me – something we both know he can do at any time, if he wants to. Instead, I decide to give him what he wants.
Aidan lets out a moan as I work my hand and mouth in unison.
“Fuck, Katie,” he murmurs.
Increasing my pace, I feel his body become tense and tight, and his breathing grows ragged. A low growl passes his lips, and he quickly takes a step back, and grins at me as he tries to regain his control.
“Not yet,” he says. “I want to be inside of you. I need to feel you, Katie.”
I'm willing to give him that concession, only because I'd really like that, too. I stand up and pull my yoga pants down, kicking them across the room. I feel a little self-conscious standing before him completely naked, but I watch Aidan's eyes slide up and down my body as he drinks me in. There's a look of near-awe on his face, and he stares at me like I'm the most beautiful woman in the world. Like I'm the only woman in the world. It's a feeling that not only makes me smile, but makes the desire between my thighs burn that much hotter.
No man has ever looked at me with such pure admiration and adoration before, and it makes me feel like the sexiest woman on the planet.
He steps forward and reaches for me, obviously intent on taking control of the situation. I put my hand on his chest to stop him, though, a sultry little smile upon my lips.
“Lay on the bed,” I tell him.
A wolfish smile on his face, he puts his hands on my hips, and starts to push me back, but I hold my ground. He looks at me with an amused sparkle in his eye, but also a gleam of arousal. As much as he likes being in control, I can tell he enjoys having me take charge.
“On the bed,” I command.
Aidan does as I tell him and lays down on the bed, flat on his back. He's looking at me expectantly, content to do things my way – at least, for now. I crawl onto the bed and slide my way up his body. His eyes are riveted to mine as I straddle his face. He smiles and grabs hold of my ass, his fingers pressing into my flesh.
“Please, Aidan.”
His stubble tickles the insides of my thighs as Aidan runs his tongue around my wet, swollen lips. He teases my clit with the tip of his tongue, making me shudder. He plunges his tongue deep into me, and I cry out.
I throw my head back, moaning and calling his name as I gently rock my hips while he takes my clit into his mouth. When he gives it a little nip, I gasp at the slight twinge of pain. It quickly intertwines with the pleasure flooding through me, making the sensations shooting through my body that much more vivid and intense.
“Mm, yes,” I call out, gripping his hair even harder.
Aidan's grip on my ass tightens, and he pulls me down onto his face at the same time he drives his tongue into me again.
My orgasm hits me out of nowhere, and literally takes my breath away. A choked gasp is the only sound that escapes my throat as my body starts to tremble. Aidan keeps licking me, his eyes glittering with sexiness and mischief as I writhe on top of him.
Slowly, the tension in my body melts away, and I feel limp as a noodle. I fall to the side, landing on my back, and stare up at the ceiling. My head is still spinning, and I turn my head and look over at Aidan, who's looking back at me with a smile on his face.
“That was amazing, Aidan.”
He rolls over, now laying half on top of me, staring down into my eyes. I see the need in Aidan’s face, and it arouses me to know I'm the reason behind it. He starts to climb on top of me, but I push him back again, a flirty smirk on my face.
“Uh-uh,” I say, my voice a little throaty. “I'm not done with you yet.”
I roll over and open the drawer of my nightstand. Pulling out a condom, I quickly rip open the package and then climb on top of him again, this time, straddling his waist. I place the condom over his tip and unroll it, gripping him firmly when I reach the base. I see the pleasure crossing his face as I do so.
Positioning myself above him, I slowly lower myself down onto him, my eyes never leaving his. I slip the head of his cock between the velvety folds of my lips and he slides in a little deeper. Placing my hands on his chest to brace myself, I take more of him into me.
Aidan stretches me open, making my body tingle with what feels like tiny shocks of electricity. It makes me feel so… alive.
I take in a deep breath and let it out slowly, allowing my body to adjust. Aidan looks up at me, his eyes burning with desire. I plant my hands on his thick, broad chest, his muscles corded and toned beneath my fingers, and start to rock my hips.
A low moan passes my lips as I start moving faster. I push my hands down on his chest to give myself more leverage as I begin to move up and down, impaling myself on his long, hard cock. Aidan lets out a growl as I fuck him, his face a mask of absolute ecstasy.
He sends a shiver through my body as he slides his hands up my stomach, taking my breasts in his hands. He massages them, pinching my nipples and drawing a moan from me. I quicken my pace, riding him even harder than before, grinding myself up and down.
I throw my head back and cry out as I dig my nails into his chest, my orgasm rising as quickly as the tide. I look down to find Aidan's jaw clenched and his gaze locked on mine. I feel his cock swelling inside of me and know that he's close. Knowing that I'm bringing him to the edge of bliss, and there's nothing he can do to stop it, brings a wicked little smile to my face.
His hands are on my hips, his fingers firmly pressing into me as we fill the room with a sensual and erotic music.
I'm reaching the peak and want him there with me. I want us to topple over that edge and fall down into a valley of ecstasy together.
“Come for me, Aidan,” I say. “I want to feel you come inside of me.”
He grits his teeth, trying to hold off the inevitable. I dig my nails into his chest, and he draws in a sharp breath.
“I want to feel you come,” I growl. “Come for me.”
A long, low moan escapes his throat as I feel his cock start to pulse and throb deep within me. I grind myself on him harder as he erupts, taking him in as deep as I can. He cries out as he comes for me, setting off an explosion within me as well, and my body is gripped by another powerful orgasm that leaves me shaking and trembling. I throw my head back and cry out as I'm wrapped up in a white-hot web of carnal sensation.
I fall forward onto him, burying my face in his neck as we're washed away on a river of bliss. As our breathing and hearts eventually begin to slow, Aidan strokes my hair, planting a soft kiss on the top of my head. When I feel in control of my body once more, I roll off him, flopping onto my back beside him.
“That was incredible,” I say.
“Agreed,” he replies.
He rolls over onto his side, propping himself up on his arm and stares down at me. There's a curious look in his eye, and a faintly enigmatic smile on his lips.
“What is it?” I ask.
A small laugh passes his lips. “I can't believe we did it again.”
I laugh along with him and shake my head. “Yeah, me either.”
This time, though, feels different. The air between us isn't quite as strained before. It isn't quite as awkward. Something has changed between us. It's small and subtle, but I can sense the difference – and I think he can too. While we're still far away from an actual relationship, there's a compatibility between us now – a feeling of comfort and companionship that didn't exist before.
Undercutting it all, though, is the tension and fear that comes with the secret I’m harboring inside of me. I have to wonder how radically things will change once I tell him. Will he reject me? Walk away from me? Will he be angry?
I don't get the impression that Aidan wants children. Maybe, in his former life he did. Now, I don't know if a child would be too much of a reminder of what he lost when his fiancée died. I don't think – given his current secluded, reclusive lifestyle – h
e has room in his heart for children. He barely has room for anyone, really. His soul is preoccupied with darkness and grief to the exclusion of almost everything else.
And I'm left to wonder what that will mean for me – and our child.
I find myself hoping that things won't turn ugly. That this will be a good thing; one that will bond us together, rather than tear us apart.
It's an odd, perhaps even unlikely, hope to have, but it's there, nonetheless.
“I'm not sorry we did though,” he says. “Not at all.”
I bite my bottom lip and try to stave off the schoolgirl giggles.
“Me either,” I reply softly.
I lay my hand against his cheek, his closely-trimmed beard scratchy beneath my skin. He leans into my touch, and I stare into his steely blue-gray eyes, finding my heart swelling. I really wasn’t looking for a relationship. Honestly, I've been too scared to put myself on the line like that after everything that happened with Victor. Now, I'm pretty gun-shy when it comes to men – not that I think anyone would really blame me for that.
Aidan is different, though. For reasons I can't explain, I feel comfortable around him. He's big and gruff, sure. But, he's also gentle and caring. While he obviously can be protective – just ask Leon – I don't get the sense that he'd ever turn his anger on me. Not in a million years. I think he'd almost rather die before raising a hand to me. From what I know about him, I can tell that Aidan Anderson is a genuinely decent man with a good heart.
He's a man who – like me – bears deep scars from his past. Like me, he's a damaged soul. And there's a small part of me that wonders whether or not two broken people could be what the other needs to put themselves back together – or whether we'd just make the damage that much worse.
It's a thought I have no business having right now. Maybe, not ever. I can't afford to surrender to my emotions again. I've done that before and look where it got me. I ruthlessly push away all the thoughts and feelings I have on the subject, and try to enjoy the moment. But then, I glance over at the clock and grimace.