by Banks, R. R.
Life is getting back onto an even keel, and we are learning about each other. Exploring the love growing between us. And I find that I'm enjoying every minute of it. I take none of it for granted, and I appreciate every moment I have with Katie.
I think that's the biggest lesson I'm taking away from this – appreciating every moment you have with a loved one, because nothing is ever guaranteed. All you can do is love hard, live the best you can, and enjoy every last second.
It's something I've been working hard at, along with putting my past to rest. Moving on from it, and no longer letting it define me.
Which is why it was such a shock when Detective Brown – the lead detective in Maddy's case – called me out of the blue on Halloween morning, asking me to come into her precinct down in Savannah.
I follow her into one of their interrogation rooms and take a seat. I look up at her expectantly and see something on her face – something I can't quite place. I'm not sure how to interpret her expression.
“Can I get you a soda?” she asks. “Coffee? Anything?”
I shake my head. “No, I'm fine, thank you,” I say. “Why am I here?”
She looks at me with a mixture of compassion and triumph in her eyes. Do I dare hope she's going to tell me what I think she is? It can't be. Not after four years. Can it?
She takes a seat across from me and slips a plastic evidence bag out of her pocket. She sets it down on the table and slides it across to me. I pick up the bag, feeling like I've been kicked straight in the gut, and look at the broach inside.
Maddy's broach.
“Do you recognize this?” she asks.
I nod. “Yeah. It belongs to Maddy,” I say. “It was a gift from her grandmother. She got it the day she graduated from high school. It's a family heirloom.”
Brown nods, and the look of triumph on her face only deepens. She looks at me for a long time, her eyes positively sparkling.
“We got him, Aidan,” she says. “After four years, we finally got the son of a bitch.”
A surge of energy blossoms in my heart, but I can't define it. I don't know how I feel. I’ve spent so much time thinking about her and just praying to find out the truth. To finally be able to find her murderer just feels surreal.
“How?” I ask. “I mean, it's been so long, and – are you sure? Are you sure it's really him?”
“He tried to pawn this,” she says. “I've had it on a watch list with all the pawn shops in town. It turned up earlier this week, we got the word, and were able to track him down.”
Although the overriding emotion inside of me is gratitude – elation – there's also a strong undercurrent of rage bubbling just below the surface.
“Is he here?” I ask.
She nods.
“Who is it?”
“His name is Gary Sundberg,” she says.
A surge of pain hit me. A mixture of intense guilt and remorse. Knowing that I brought him into our lives.
“Do you know him?”
I slam my fist onto the tabletop, startling Brown.
“Yeah, I know the bastard,” I respond, trying to keep my anger at bay. “He was on one of my construction crews. A part-timer we called in when we needed extra hands. Had him out at Fleury House a few times with a crew to do some work.”
“That explains how they met,” Brown says. “That was the piece of the puzzle we didn't have. From what we’ve gathered, it seems that he became obsessed with her and started stealing items of her clothing, and personal effects, and it escalated from there to outright stalking. Her murder was methodically planned by Sundberg for months. He said he waited for her to come home that day by hiding in the shadows on the side of the porch. When she opened the door and disarmed the alarm he grabbed her before she could set it again. He was on her before she even knew what happened. But, we got the sick son of a bitch. It’s over, Aidan.”
We sit in silence for several long moments, just staring at one another. The idea that this is finally over, that Maddy's killer has been caught, and that justice will be served, is a heavy feeling. I’m still in disbelief. I thought finding the truth would bring me peace, but knowing I brought that monster into our lives…I feel myself starting to spiral again. Then as the darkness descends around me, a flash of Katie and our baby enter my mind.
I know for their sake, I can’t let myself get back into that dark place. They’ve been so strong, and I must be even stronger for them.
“Do you want to see him?” she asks. “I can give you a few minutes, if there's anything you’d like to say to him.”
For so long, I've dreamed of this day – though never dared to believe it would actually come to fruition. I had prepared in my mind all sort of things that I would do to hurt that son of a bitch. Hell, I even had a speech prepared. The things I wanted to say and do to him. Evil things. Brutal things. I dreamt of the moment that I could destroy the man that killed Maddy. I had hoped I would be able to get my hands on him first. I doubted the police would put me alone in a room with him by myself, without any supervision.
For so long, I wanted to crush him. To make him regret ever laying a hand on Maddy. So many things I wanted to say to him, so many ways I wanted to make him feel pain.
That was the way I lived for four years, consumed by anger and vengeance. Ever since the night Maddy was taken from me. I’ve ran this scenario through my mind, dreaming of the day I could act on it. I wanted to get justice for Maddy, since she couldn’t get justice for herself.
But, now, as I sit across from Detective Brown, knowing Maddy’s killer is in the next room, the thought of possibly spiraling again. The thought of succumbing to the anger and vengeance weighing at my soul. I know that I must walk away. That’s what Maddy would have wanted. Knowing the monster will finally be where he belongs for life is enough. Don't get me wrong, I'd love to have a few minutes alone with him in a windowless room, but I know better. Doing so would only give him more power.
And I've spent too long giving this bastard control over me. No more.
It’s a startling revelation for me, but as I think about my life now –
The one I’m building with Katie– I realize I’ve started to shed the pieces of my past that made me a broken man. Now, I’m holding on to the pieces that will help me be a better man for my family.
I'm starting to chart my own way forward. Learning to hold onto the good things from the past, while getting rid of the bad. Certainly, tragedy, pain, and loss have honed and shaped me, but they no longer define me. I won’t let them.
Katie's taught me that.
“Actually,” I say. “I think I'm okay. I don't have anything to say to him. He's not worth my time.”
Brown smiles and nods. “Good for you, Aidan,” she says. “Good for you.”
I reach across the table and take her hand, giving it a firm shake. “Detective Brown,” I say, “I want to thank you for your hard work, and your dedication. You never let this rest. You’ve never given it up. Because of you, Maddy is finally going to have justice. I can't thank you enough for that.”
She shakes her head. “You don't need to thank me,” she says. “I'm just doing my job.”
“No, you went above and beyond,” I say. “I'll never forget that, Detective. Ever. If there is anything you ever need, anything at all, you know where to find me.”
She grins. “Coming down off your mountain, are you?”
I shrug. “Maybe so,” I say. “I haven't decided yet. But, for the first time in a very long time, I'm in a really good place, Detective. No matter where I am, whatever you need – just call me.”
“I'm happy for you, Aidan,” she says. “And thank you.”
“Thank you,” I say. “And thank you again for never giving up on finding Maddy's killer.”
I stand and walk out of the interrogation room feeling good. Feeling satisfied and content. And as I head out of the precinct, I cast a look around at the over-the-top decorations again, and smile. It may be too late to do anything
this year, but I'm already starting to get ideas for next year, suddenly looking forward to putting on a show.
Most people wouldn't see this next step as anything special or noteworthy. But it's more than that. It goes far deeper. In reclaiming my love of Halloween, I’m not only honoring Maddy’s spirit, and our shared love of the holiday, I’m taking back control of my own life.
And I have Katie to thank for that.
Aidan
One Year Later...
It's Halloween in Savannah again, and I couldn't be more excited. Though we're still living in the house in Blue Ridge full time, I decided to keep Fleury House after all. I've had several offers to take it off my hands, but I decided to hang on to it for sentimental reasons.
And, because it allows me to indulge my love of Halloween.
I've decided that every year, I'm going to host the biggest, best, scariest haunted house anywhere. The second floor of the house is excluded and sealed off to the public, of course, to respect Maddy’s memory. But, I know she would have loved the concept of having the entire first floor function as a haunted house. It’s like I’ve taken the maze we would throw on the grounds to the next level. Now that I know Maddy’s soul can finally rest, it seems fitting to honor her spirit this way.
This year, I've hired one of the best crews to put on a real show for the local kids. I've heard that there are people driving in from an hour away to come and see it, though.
It's set up as a horror maze through the first floor of the house and the grounds. It's filled with monsters, ghouls, ghosts, and demons, and all manner of things to scare the crap out of the kids.
From my vantage point, I can see part of the scene on the rear grounds, and can watch the rest of the maze on the bank of video monitors I have set up in my control room.
All night long, the air has been filled with the sounds of terrified screaming and genuine fright. It's music to my ears.
Dalton is in my arms, his small frame pressed to me, peacefully sleeping. I look down at him, and smile. I can't help but smile. He's so absolutely perfect that every time I look at him, I feel my heart swell to the point I fear it might burst.
Who would have thought I'd ever be here? I never planned on being a father – at least, not after Maddy died. She and I had planned on having a pile of kids. But, I thought that dream died with her.
When Katie turned up pregnant, my initial reaction was fear. Terror, really. I had no idea what to do. I hadn't planned on it. I wasn’t ready for it. Not even close.
But, life is funny sometimes, and it comes at you fast. It's your responsibility to be ready when it does. You can either seize the opportunity that presents itself to you, or you can flounder and flail, destroying everything good in your world.
Honestly, when Katie told me she was pregnant, my first reaction was to fear that I would choose the latter. I didn't feel worthy. I didn't know if I was up to the challenge.
But now, as I look at the tiny angel asleep in my arms, I can't help but be happy that I seized the opportunity. I'll make plenty of mistakes as a father, I'm sure. But, I'm learning how to be better – and how to be a better man – each and every day.
Katie and Dalton deserve nothing less than the maximum level of effort from me. They deserve nothing but my absolute best.
And I plan on being that for them. To the very best of my ability, I will be that for them.
As I sit there, with the windows open, the sound of some young kid's blood-curdling scream echoes across the rear grounds, and I laugh as it fills me with a sense of glee.
“You really are kind of demented,” Katie says. “Kind of sick and twisted.”
“Yeah, but it's part of my charm, isn't it?”
“Is that what we're calling it these days?”
“Yeah, let's just go with that.”
“And this is what you're teaching your son?”
“He's going to learn to love Halloween and revel in other people's fear as much as I do, if I have anything to say about it,” I laugh.
“Yeah, I'm sure the neighbors will all love that,” she quips.
I look over at Katie and grin. She's dressed in a long black gown with a bit of a plunging neckline, a tall pointed hat, and black and white striped stockings complete the outfit. She pretends to be less excited about Halloween than I am, but she enjoys being out there, having fun, and handing candy out to the kids. She can't hide the fact that when it comes to Halloween, she's like me – an overgrown kid.
“You know, you are the sexiest witch I've ever seen,” I growl.
“Yeah, let's not teach that to our son right now,” she laughs.
“It's getting late,” she says. “Don't you want to go out and revel in the fear of others in person before you close the maze down for the night?”
“I don't have to,” I say. “Dalton and I can enjoy the terrified screaming from here.”
She laughs. “You really are a twisted little monkey.”
“Yeah, but you know you like that about me.”
“You're lucky I do,” she says.
I look at her and hold her gaze for a long moment. “I am lucky,” I say. “The luckiest man in the world.”
“Oh, stop it,” she says and laughs.
“I mean it,” I say. “That's the way I feel. To have you, and our perfect son? I have to be the luckiest man alive, that I got a second chance.”
Katie walks over and bends down, placing a soft, gentle kiss on my lips.
“You know, if you play your cards right, you might just get lucky tonight,” she purrs.
I give her a salacious grin. “I can't believe you're talking like that in front of our impressionable child,” I say. “But, I like where you're going with that.”
She laughs, and takes Dalton from me. “I'm going to put him down,” she says. “You, go play with the kids outside. And if you're lucky, I'll still be awake when you're done.”
“I may have to shut down early with an invitation like that waiting for me,” I say.
Katie laughs, and shakes her head. “You really are incorrigible.”
“That’s me,” I say. “And I'm pretty sure you enjoy it.”
She looks at me for a long moment, a strange little smile on her face. “I love you, Aidan,” she says.
“I love you too,” I reply. “Where did that come from?”
She shrugs. “I just – I’ve been thinking about how life can be so uncertain,” she says. “And how important it is to tell the people we love, that we love them. As often as we can, because you just never know.”
I have a feeling that being in Fleury House is what inspired Katie’s sentiment. Not that I disagree with her. There are times when I still kick myself over the fact that I didn't tell Maddy I loved her often enough. Didn't feel like I showed her. And then she was gone.
It's something I'm correcting with Katie though. I make sure to tell her, and Dalton, just how much I love them each and every day.
“You two are the best things to happen to me,” I say. “I am so incredibly grateful for the both of you.”
“And I'm grateful for you, Aidan,” she replies.
She cradles Dalton to her breast, and I lean down, kissing the sleeping baby on the forehead, relishing the feel of his soft, pink skin beneath my lips. Even now, staring at my son, I still can't get over the fact that I'm a dad. Each time I see Dalton, hold him, or even hear him cry, I feel like my heart might explode with joy – a joy I never thought I would feel.
These two are the best things that have ever happened to me. I don't know how it came to be, or what I did to deserve them, but all I know is that I'm profoundly grateful.
“Don't stay up too late,” Katie says before grinning at me wickedly.
I look her up and down, feeling my cock stirring. “Well, just make sure you keep that costume handy then, lady. I've got plans for it.”
“Count on it.”
I watch her walk out of the room as I put my robe on and grab my mask. There's a little o
ver an hour left before we close up for the night, and I'm already counting the minutes. She puts a little extra swish in her hips for my benefit, then looks over her shoulder at me, catches me staring, and gives me a throaty laugh.
As I step outside, and into the cool October night, I can't help but feel that I am truly the luckiest man on the face of the planet. Not many are able to be whole again after such a tragedy but as I look back at Fleury House, once the symbol of my greatest, and most tragic loss – a loss that nearly destroyed me- I now see that it's not just a symbol of renewed hope, but of the reclamation of life. My life. Although, I will never be able to forget that tragic day.
I recognize that I have incredible things to be grateful for and I need to cherish every moment with my family.
That’s what Maddy would have wanted.
Just as Katie helped me recover my love of this silly holiday, both she, and now Dalton, have helped me find something far more important – myself.
THE END
Accidentally In Love (Sample)
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