“I wanna kill him,” she said, her voice full of anger. “I want him dead,” she elaborated in a tone that scared me. She wiped her nose again, still wet from the endless tears just moments ago, and began to pace. It was like a demon seeped into her body. She moved from sadness to intense anger in the blink of a fucking eye. I totally got it, but it was fucking scary as shit.
And then she stopped, fixing me with a serious stare. “He needs to be dead, Merrick. I don’t care what it fucking takes. I. Want. Him. Dead.”
Amelia stared out the window the entire way to the apartment. After I calmed her down back at the track and assured her that Antonio would get what he deserved, the pain returned. I didn’t know what she was thinking, but I could see the reflection of her face in the window; tears never stopped falling once. I let her be alone in thought, only rubbing her thigh with my thumb once in a while for comfort. I hated seeing her so upset, hurt, and in pain. I hated everything that Antonio did to her and still is. I hated that I couldn’t protect her from the piece of shit. But, I did know that I would carry out her request. I would make him pay, I would make him suffer, and I would damn well see him through to his last breath.
We stepped into the flat at just a little after five. She didn’t speak a word, just went to our room and straight for the shower. I left her alone. She knew I was there. She knew that I would do anything for her. If she needed me, she knew where to come.
“Should we wait for the Mrs.?” Mrs. Doubtfire asked, placing the steak dinner she had prepared on plates.
I shook my head. “No, thank you. Just put some foil over it and put in the microwave,” I replied. “She had a rough day.” I smiled, but in a less then enthused tone.
She grinned tightly before replying, “I sure will.”
I was getting used to Mrs. Doubtfire. She cooked, cleaned, and took care of all the household essentials, but kept away and to herself. If I could make a few more bucks, I’d have one of my own.
“There’s always a little wind before the storm, love, but once the storm passes, there’s always sunshine and clear skies,” she said with a smile before walking past me to continue to her part of the apartment.
I sat there for a second, thinking about what she said. This was a pretty fucking nasty storm we were experiencing, but I guess you had to keep your eye on the prize—the aftermath—the sun and clear skies. I smiled. Leave it to Mrs. Doubtfire to make a dark day a little better.
“Hey …” I jumped from the barstool I was sitting on when I saw Amelia turn the corner, her hair still wet with a fresh, clean scent.
Her lips curled slightly but not completely. I motioned for her to have a seat next to me.
“Mrs. Doubtfire made dinner. She put yours in the microwave.”
She looked frail, almost weak. I just wanted to bear hug her and never let go, but she looked to be in a little better spirits—still down but not completely broken.
“I’m not really that hungry.” She shook her head slightly before continuing to the living area, stopping and staring out the window.
I watched her as she stood there, lost in her thoughts. I was at a loss about what to do. I didn’t know what she was thinking or what she needed from me.
She glanced over. “Eat. I’m fine,” she encouraged with a smile.
I knew she was anything but fine, but I also knew she wasn’t an exhibit at the zoo. I had to give her space and stop staring like she was going to drop to the floor at any minute. The problem was that when she hurt, I hurt. When she felt pain, so did I. I couldn’t look away. This love thing was decidedly harder than I expected. I couldn’t stop caring, and I certainly couldn’t just keep going on with my life when I knew how much she was hurting inside. When her life stopped, so did mine.
I walked over to where she was standing, wrapping my arms around her waist from behind and holding her back against my chest. My chin rested perfectly on the top of her head. Immediately, her body relaxed and her hands overlapped mine. I didn’t say anything. I didn’t need to know what she was thinking, I just needed her close to me, because when it came down to it, we completed each other—our bodies found comfort when we were together. We didn’t need words, we didn’t need affection … we just needed each other.
I couldn’t tell you how long we stood there, but it was long enough that my arm fell asleep and Amelia started dozing. When I finally couldn’t stand any longer, I slowly walked us back to the couch, laying us both down facing each other, my back to the cushions.
I brushed her hair from her face and looked her in the eyes. “I’m going to make things right, baby,” I said gently. “I’m going to make all this go away, okay?”
She nodded faintly. “I know. I know it’ll work itself out. I just can’t lose anyone else I love.” I could hear her voice cracking. “I just can’t loose you.” A tear escaped her eye, sliding down into the couch pillow.
“You won’t.” I wiped the wetness from her face with my thumb. “You’ll never lose me.”
“Jesus, K!” I practically shit my pants when I opened my eyes and saw Kayla sitting on the coffee table in front of us, with a huge bouquet of flowers in hand.
She giggled slightly and bit her lip. “Sorry, I didn’t want to just wake you.”
“So you decided to be an effing creeper and watch us sleep instead?”
She shrugged her shoulders. “I just got here and was checking to see if you were sleeping.”
By this time, Amelia’s eyes started to flutter open. She almost rolled off the couch when she peered over her shoulder and saw Kayla sitting there. “Oh my God!” she exclaimed, holding her hand to her chest.
“Sorry, we had a creeper,” I told her, giving Kayla a dirty look.
“I was just seeing if you guys were sleeping! Geez.” She stood and went to the kitchen to put the flowers in water.
“Sorry,” I whispered to Amelia before kissing her forehead and sliding up and off the couch.
Miles was in his usual spot near the windows, looking out at the city, completely ignoring the people around him. It was kind of weird, but whatever. It was a tense situation.
“Miles,” I greeted him as I walked by to join Kayla in the kitchen.
“Evening,” was all he said in response.
I couldn’t tell how he perceived me or the whole situation. I didn’t know if he actually cared or if he was just doing everything because I was best friends with Kayla. I guess I shouldn’t really care either way; he was doing a fucking huge thing for me and that’s the only way I should see it. I appreciated what he was doing a whole lot, so hopefully he at least understood that.
“I’m really sorry to hear about your dad,” Kayla told Amelia sympathetically once the three of us were standing around the center island in the kitchen.
“Thank you.”
“I brought these.” Kayla shrugged, jerking her head towards the flowers.
I had to snort inwardly when I recognized that Kayla was to Amelia what I was to Miles—the relationship was still fresh and unfamiliar and slightly awkward.
“You really didn’t have to,” Amelia replied, looking at them, “but they’re really pretty,” she added. “Thank you.”
Again, I had to lightly chuckle to myself, remembering the day Amelia and I spent together. She didn’t really care for flowers; she’d told me that they didn’t serve much of a purpose to her because they were only temporary—you were only able to enjoy them for a few days before they died. She acted appreciative anyway.
“Nothing like a cactus,” I whispered in her ear before kissing the side of her head.
She only smiled in response, not wanting Kayla to hear us.
Miles joined us soon after, lightly hugging Amelia. I heard, “my condolences about your father,” before he stepped back. I was pretty impressed with the gesture and by Amelia’s expression, so was she.
“Thanks, Miles,” she said softly.
“Pardon my lack of healing time, but if you don’t mind, I think we should dis
cuss our next plan of action.” He jumped right into business as usual.
“Miles!” Kayla reprimanded from the other side of the counter, not happy, but Amelia cut her off.
“No! I agree,” Amelia said, her voice stronger and more confident that I expected. “I want this over quicker than anyone. Let’s get it figured out.”
Kayla looked at me, concerned, but I shrugged my shoulders, remembering the anger that consumed Amelia after I told her about her dad’s death. She wanted Antonio dead and I had a feeling that she wouldn’t be able to heal her wounds until that happened.
“So, I think Joey Antonacci may be a good person to get in touch with,” Miles started once we were all seated in the living room. “I’m not sure we can do this any other way.”
“Do what?” Kayla asked, confused. Though it’d never been spoken, the game plan had already been established. Apparently, Kayla wasn’t on the same wavelength as the rest of us.
We all kind of looked at each other before Miles answered her.
“We have to bring down the ring, sweetheart.”
Her eyes spread open and her mouth dropped. “You … you guys,” she gulped, “are planning on killing … all of them? I know we just can’t call the police on them, but what about the FBI? There has to be some part of the government or something that could help.”
Amelia and I stayed silent. We didn’t really know how it was going to happen yet, but when it all was finished, yes, all of them would be lying lifeless on the ground.
Miles chewed his lip for a moment, contemplating his answer. “I’m sorry, sweetheart, but it’s the only option. Yeah, the FBI has a division that specializes in organized crime, but it could take years of investigation before anything happened.”
“We don’t have that time, K,” I added in a low, caring voice.
Her stare went blank and moved to the floor. I don’t think she was fully prepared for this news. Hell, neither was I. I knew I wasn’t the most normal individual, but come on, taking down a mob? Normal people just didn’t do that shit. But when you sat down and thought about the logistics, there wasn’t any other way. You couldn’t just call the police on the mob, and killing one wouldn’t do anything, there would just be another one that would step up to the plate. There would be no end until they were all gone. It was a tough pill to swallow, but nothing was too farfetched or out of reach when it came to keeping my girl alive. No matter what I had to do, I was doing it, even if I was over my head … there wasn’t another option.
Kayla drew a heavy breath in before exhaling and looking up. “Okay,” she said, but didn’t sound enthused.
“Darling, the mafia doesn’t stop,” Miles told her.
“Unless they don’t exist,” Kayla finished quietly.
We all nodded in unison.
“Yes, baby doll.” He rubbed her thigh for comfort.
She took another deep breath. “I’m in.” She rubbed her hands on her thighs, placing her hand on Miles’ when she reached it. “If it keeps you two safe,” she looked at Amelia and me, “I’m in.”
We both grinned slightly in response. Part of me was a wreck that Kayla was involved, but the selfish part of me was so glad that she was on board.
“Thank you,” I mouthed over Amelia’s shoulder.
She still looked a little lost and overwhelmed, but she nodded her head regardless.
“So we have to figure out a way to get in touch with Joey,” Miles started back in, giving Kayla a reassuring smile.
“I know his cell number and where he lives,” Amelia announced, but Miles shook his head.
“No, he’s tracked just as much as you were. Stewart said over and over to me, ‘never underestimate how they watch every member.’ It can’t be by phone and it has to be in a neutral location where nothing would look suspicious.”
We were all silent for a minute, thinking.
“He watches the studio on Sundays during family dinner. No one but him is there.”
“Why doesn’t he attend dinner?” Miles asked.
“He always opted out, even before Antonio took over,” Amelia told Miles. “He hates his family.”
“And this was okay with them?” I was surprised, knowing how up each other’s asses Italian families were, especially ones involved in the mob.
“Yeah, but at the same time, Joey was always the black sheep. He was just accepted that way, but he was smart so they kept him around, and they needed someone to watch the studio when they were all gone anyway.”
Miles rubbed his chin, intrigued.
“Isn’t the studio loaded with cameras though? The psycho has to have every inch covered,” I asked.
A mischievous grin appeared on Amelia’s face. “Joey handles the security—he’s the smart one, remember? No one else had the patience to figure it out.”
“The rest just wanted to be blood oozing motherfuckers!” I blurted out, my blood already starting to boil.
Everyone was silent at my burst of honesty.
“Sorry,” I said. “I just fucking hate them.”
“But yeah, Joey gave me the password,” Amelia continued, ignoring my moment of testosterone anger. “I can get in.”
Miles licked his lips, impressed. He liked this new fact.
“The day that Merrick came in, I deleted the footage right away. I could totally do it this time too … if we had someone go in there.”
There was silence again as we all looked back and forth amongst each other.
“I think it should be someone that looks artsy, not suspicious,” Kayla pointed out.
“Agreed,” Miles said. “The less suspicion the better.”
“I could do it,” Kayla volunteered. “I could dress …”
“No way!” Miles and I both said at the same time.
Kayla dropped her shoulders and looked at us, annoyed. “Why not? We can’t let anyone else know about this and no one knows me …” she started to argue.
“But if it does get back to Antonio and the others, your identity would be revealed,” I explained.
“Putting you in danger,” Amelia added. “I can’t do that to you, too.”
“It won’t,” she continued with her plea. “I’ll totally dress the part. We’ll wipe the cameras after … Really guys, I can do this.”
We all looked at Miles, who was already rubbing his face, decidedly not okay with this idea.
“Please, babe,” she begged. “Please let me do this.”
He shook his head, looking down. “I—” he exhaled.
I knew what he was feeling. I knew what it felt like to have your love in possible danger, throwing her to the wolves. I got it, and I would never do it to Amelia.
“Kayla,” I interrupted, “we can’t put you in that danger, love.”
She stood, pissed. “I’m not an idiot. I can do this. Stop treating me like some baby that can’t handle herself. Let’s remember where I came from, the shitty life I was brought up in. This was my life—I dealt with assholes on a daily basis. Let me help, Goddammit. I want to help.”
I itched my forehead. She certainly had a point. I was guilty for forgetting where she was from. Her dad, like mine, died young, and her mom was a fucking gold digging bitch. She lived in the shittiest neighborhoods of Las Vegas in big houses but with shady, gambling addicts. Drugs, money, and other illegal things were inside her home on a daily basis. This was Kayla’s life for a very long time. In all honesty, she probably had more experience with gambling criminals than the rest of us did.
“I’m sorry,” I was first to tell her. “Sometimes I forget, but that’s not a bad thing.”
She nodded her head. “It isn’t a bad thing, and by damn, I know that and I’m incredibly grateful, but I’m not some dumb rich girl. I can handle my own.”
We all looked at Miles again; he was the final say. As much as I didn’t want Kayla doing this, she was a very viable option.
He took a deep breath. “I really don’t want to agree to this,” he said to Kayla while slowl
y shaking his head, obviously not okay with it at all.
“I know,” she said softly to him, “but please trust that I can do it.”
“It’s not you that I don’t trust, sweetheart,” he admitted. “I don’t know this Joseph man, so I’m going on what I’ve been told. I can’t be positive that he won’t stay silent or repeat anything to his family.”
“I can assure you he won’t,” Amelia put in. “Joey and I were always talking about a way out.”
“I understand that, but would he be willing to contribute to killing off his entire family?” Miles added.
“I wouldn’t be surprised if he volunteered to do it himself.”
“Geez,” I hissed. “Really?”
“He hates them,” Amelia said matter-of-factly. “He hates what they do and is ashamed to have their last name. We’ve talked a million times about what we’d do if we could get away with it. This would be his opportunity.”
Miles’ elbows were on his knees, his head in his hands. We all could see he was struggling with the idea. Kayla sat beside him, her arms wrapped around his waist, whispering something into his ears. He peered up to her, staring into her eyes. Kayla rested her forehead against his before he kissed her nose gently.
“Okay,” Miles caved, still looking at Kayla and nodding his head slightly. “But if this doesn’t work, we’re out. Completely out. We’re on the next flight to some foreign island.”
Kayla’s face immediately brightened, full of excitement, holding her arms tighter around his waist and kissing him long and hard until he was wearing a big, goofy grin.
I didn’t know why it meant so much to Kayla, doing this, but I was more than touched that she wanted to do it for Amelia and me. I looked at Amelia, smiling as I rubbed her leg with my hand. Deep down I knew we were both scared shitless, but we were fucking ecstatic, too. We were getting closer.
“I love you,” Kayla said lowly to Miles.
He cupped her face with his hands before replying it back. At times I wondered about their relationship, but when I saw them together like this, I understood—they brought out the best in each other. Kayla loosened him up, taking away the businessman façade, while he made her feel special, gave her the support and nourishment that she never had growing up. They completed one another, just like Amelia and I did. That fucking Tom Cruise was right.
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