by Maya Daniels
“I have watched her every dusk standing in front of the mirror, reminding herself who she is. Reminding herself that she is human, no matter what lurks inside her.” I watch dismayed when his eyes shimmer with unshed tears. I have never seen him like this in all the centuries I’ve known him. “Even now, when she is fully aware of what she is, her heart holds mercy, compassion, and honor to those that see her as someone worth saving. Someone worth fighting for. I will meet the sun and eternal sleep before I turn my back on that, on her. If the two of you can’t see that, there is no room for me here anymore.” He turns and leaves us both, staring unseeing at the space he occupied.
“What have we done?” Andrei’s words echo my feeling exactly.
“What have we done, indeed.”
April
After leaving the three bullheaded men at the bar, I sit next to Mutt’s sleeping form on the floor of the reception hall. I can feel everyone’s eyes on me, but I ignore them, watching my fingers glide through my dog’s fur in fascination. A strange sense of calm has taken residence inside me, and I relax into it. It’s a welcome feeling after all the turmoil and anger shredding my insides for over a week.
Has it been only a week or so? It feels like a lifetime. So many things happened, so many things changed. It should be impossible to have it done in such a short amount of days, yet here we are. And I meant every word I said to Sebastian back there. If that woman dies, I will make no distinction between a friend and a foe. Not if none of them understand the value of sacrifice, or the hurt that bitch Hope can inflict when you are holding onto her like a lifeline.
Mutt nuzzles closer to my leg, as trusting and loyal as ever. This dog never ceases to amaze me, but I still don’t know what I’ve done to deserve it. The memory of that night flashes through my mind's eye, him standing to the side watching me warily and me…me opening up a container with a slice of smelly-looking meat and throwing it at his paws. Before I tried to chase him away, I shared food with him. Realization dawns on me as I finally see what he saw in me that day. Someone to share with, to break the loneliness with.
A family.
My eyes flick up, and my body jolts slightly when I see all the guardians, including those that used to watch me with apprehension, all clustered around me. What’s more shocking is seeing Marcus among them, right across from me, watching me with sad eyes. I flick my gaze from face to face, my stomach clenching.
There is no more feeding, naked bodies, or sounds of sex around me. No conversations, apart from the soft murmurs coming from the humans that have gathered in a tight nest of their own, glaring my way from the opposite side of the vast space.
A nest.
All these people I still call monsters inside my head are herding to me because that’s what they’ve been lacking. In their need to fight against the oppression and depravity of the old fools, they’ve all been missing the same thing Mutt and I have. Someone to share with, and to destroy the loneliness with. A family where you don’t have to worry if you show weakness. To know you are safe and that those feelings won’t get you killed.
In all his good meaning and desire to help them achieve that, Sebastian has missed this one thing. He gave them a cause, a reason to fight. But he never gave them a family. A sanctuary, yes. A nest, no. A reluctant smile pulls the corners of my lips, and it’s like a physical feeling when the tension disappears around us. Shoulders relax, heads drop slightly on necks, and muscles uncoil as they all sprawl out around me.
I summon Marcus to me with a slight tilt of my chin. He lifts off the floor, stepping gracefully over those around him like he’s been waiting on it. When he sits down, leaving enough space between us for another person, I grab his arm, yanking him to me. He doesn’t say a word, sitting stiff and alert like a statue. My heart hurts that he feels like that around me, although I don’t regret my words. Leaning my head on his shoulder, I feel him gradually relax, and his heavy sigh sends a ping through my chest.
“I’m sorry I attacked you.” His body jolts at my words like I’ve struck him, so I tilt my head up to look at him. “I mean it.”
“There is nothing to be sorry about, April. I was there because I knew you’d need to feed.” Looking down at me, his eyes are open and earnest, making it hard for me to breathe. “I knew you’d never hurt me. Well, I knew you wouldn’t kill me. Even in those moments, hurting is relative in our world. You were learning control. I wanted to be there for you since you were set on ripping Sebastian’s throat out.” A smirk plays on his handsome face, allowing me to take a full breath.
“You are a good man, Marcus. I’m still sorry I was so angry.” Squeezing his arm in gratitude, I lean my head on it again, scanning the room.
“You had every right to be. I was angry for you, but I just know how to hide my emotions.” Chuckling, he relaxes further, leaning his back heavily on the wall behind us. “And I’m not sure all of it was anger if we are honest,” he adds reluctantly.
“What do you mean? I saw red. If that’s not rage, I don’t know what is.” My laugh has no humor in it.
“I’ve lived long enough to see a lot of things, April.” He stops talking when Andrei and Sebastian walk in and come to sit next to us.
Something has changed. I can feel it in them, through the muted bond and in the air surrounding them. Andrei’s face looks pained, his blue eyes watching me with so much guilt, I need to shake my head to clear it. What the hell happened after I left them in the bar? When Andrei glances at Marcus and drops his eyes to the floor, I have an inkling on why things have changed.
Sebastian looks around, his shoulders stiffening when, I have no doubt, he comes to the same realization I did. What was missing in this mismatched group of people gathered together for the same cause. His gaze swings to my face, and we hold our eyes locked for a long moment. He takes my fingers, lifting them up to press a kiss on them, and that small gesture hold so much emotion his hand and lips trembling with it.
Marcus breaks the tension. “As I said, I’ve seen a lot over the centuries. You displayed anger, or rage if you will, but I should’ve seen the fear you tried to hide with that.” My body jerks away from him, but he grabs my other hand, squeezing my fingers in desperation to hear him out.
“Fear is useless. I’m not afraid.” I’m silenced by my own defensive tone. Can it be? Is he right?
“Useless or not, you can’t control fear. And it’s only human to feel it.” Searching my face, he doesn’t let go of my hand. “And that’s okay, April. It’s okay to feel human. That’s what we are ready to lay our immortal lives down for. To be able to feel, to have that part of us that was taken returned. We just lost track of why we started this whole thing in the first place.”
“He speaks the truth,” Sebastian says from my other side, his deep voice raising goosebumps over my arms and legs.
“You think the same?”
I sound doubtful, but instead of his usual arrogance, I only get a pleading look. Am I dreaming? I can’t help wondering if I’ve fallen asleep and I’m imagining things up. Andrei shuffles closer, our knees bumping gently. He places his hand on my leg and Mutt moves his head on top of it. A strange feeling passes through me, all of us in some way physically touching, connected not just through the bond, but through contact as well.
A family. I welcome the voice inside me this time.
“I need to leave.” Protectiveness surges through my veins. “I need to be inside the Council Towers before tonight’s celebration starts. They can’t see me coming.”
“You need to change so you can blend in. You can’t show up looking like this.” Sebastian shocks me further when he doesn’t turn all caveman on me, even when I can see it’s taking a lot out of him to control it. “And at least take a couple of the human guardians. They can walk in the daylight. I failed you, my redemption. Let me make it up to you. I will not stop you, but I will be able to relax a bit more knowing you at least have someone watching your back.” He is squeezing my fingers so tight I can feel the bones grinding toge
ther. “I will do my best to be what you need if it kills me.”
Oh Sebastian, if you only knew how right you are. My heart squeezes in my chest at the thought.
“I’ll take the two who were attacked by Irina.” I almost laugh at the confused look on his face. “They can walk the daylight just like me.” His eyes widen slightly, but he stays wisely quiet.
“I’ll take care of the way you look.” Andrei jumps up, looking happy to be given something to do. “I’ll make sure you are hot as hell when we kill those bastards.”
He pulls me to my feet, Mutt and Sebastian protesting at the same time, which makes me smile. Adrenaline rushes through my body. Halting Andrei, I turn to Marcus. “Sara does not come with you.” I know they’ll bring humans in case they need to feed if injured.
His eyes stay locked on mine a long second. “It’s not jealousy.” A statement, not a question.
You have no idea, I think. “No, it’s not,” I tell him, ignoring Sebastian’s intent gaze.
“She will not leave this hotel until we come back.” I know he will get it done so, with a nod and not looking at Sebastian, I let Andrei lead me away.
I’ll deal with Sara and all her secrets after I kill those assholes.
“This way, Mistress.” One of the guardians points to a tunnel on our right.
“April.” Glaring at him, I sigh. “I told you to call me, April.”
After slinking away from the hotel, we find ourselves in the sewers. It’s like no matter what I am, the sewers under this city are my destiny. I can’t escape their misty stench, regardless of whether it is monster or human. Clutching the soft fabric of the dress in my fists, my bare feet slush through the murky water. The guardians walk one in front of me and one behind me, refusing to call me by my name no matter how many times I ask them to do it. They insist on calling me Mistress, and first I giggle like an idiot, but now it’s getting on my nerves. I have a name, damn it. It might be from this lifetime, but it’s mine. They’ll start using it if it’s the last thing they do.
My toes squish something mushy, and revulsion sends a shiver up my spine.
Glancing over my shoulder, I eye the strappy sandals the guardian carries in his hands reverently, and you might think I’ve given him the holy grail. I don’t have the heart to take them from his hands, the squishy things, or even under my feet. I don’t doubt he will look like a kicked puppy if I do that. With a snort, shaking my head, I continue following the one ahead of me. They told me their names, and I forgot them. Now I feel stupid asking again, so I keep my mouth shut. Guardian one, and guardian two it is, at least in my head.
The one in front lifts his hand, the wide, blue lacy ribbon that Andrei gave me to tie around my eyes twisted between his fingers, and we all freeze. Tilting my head like the predator that I am, I strain to hear what got his attention. He is a good few feet ahead, and it takes long moments for the murmured voices to reach my ears. When they do, I have to forcefully unclench my fingers, so I don’t shred the dress to ribbons.
I will recognize Khan’s voice anywhere. That slimy bastard will be the last to go tonight. I want to see him sweat and squirm in front of me. My fingers brush my thigh where I strapped the wooden stakes carved with runes. Bye leaving those behind, the idiots made this too easy on me. My grin grows, and the guardian in front of me pales.
Dismissing his worry with a wave of my hand, I grip the skirts of the dress in my fingers and move silently closer to where the voices are coming from. The guardian hurries to walk before me, determination set in his square jaw. Silly men, thinking they need to die to prove loyalty. With a smile, I follow behind him, the other guardian at my back, only the sluggish beat of his heart giving me an idea of his position.
“You thought you were too clever, didn’t you?” Khan’s words stop our advance. He sounds as if he is just on the other side of the damp walls. “Well, here we are again, Vincenza.” I jerk back from his tone as he says the name I used to have centuries ago. “Or should I call you April now?” he sneers.
“Fuck you, monster.” Recognizing the voice of the woman that took my place when she snaps at him, a weight lifts off my chest. She is alive.
“You are lucky I want to make this a spectacle.”
A crashing sound accompanies Khan’s growl. They are not on the other side of the wall. They are above us. My eyes fly up to stare at the carved roof of the tunnel. I move in the middle of it, not taking my eyes off the spot where I felt something breaking. When a hand tentatively touches my arm, I’m surprised to see I’m crouched, ready to go through the wall if need be so I can wrap my claws around that asshole’s throat.
“Tonight, all will see their great matron die, and for good this time.” Gloating, Khan keeps talking. “They don’t know you’re still human. You had us all fooled when you saved that bastard, Sebastian. How I will enjoy draining him so all can see.” Chuckling like he is deranged, I can hear him pacing above my head. “Should I let him watch you die first, huh? Or should I give you the pleasure of seeing his lifeless body before I take your life?”
“Sebastian will kill you.” I’m proud of the calm way the woman says that. Just for this alone, I’ll do everything to ensure she stays alive.
“No one!” Khan screams. “No one takes a hit on me and lives!”
“I thought there were eight of you. The others don’t care?” she taunts him. If only she knew, I think gloomily.
“Those fools are useful but unnecessary.” The Khan I know, the arrogant, greedy bastard that he is, sounds clear in the words he speaks. “It’s a good way to keep the masses under control. The idiots think power is in numbers. If they only knew.” His manic laugh grinds in my ears. “After you are gone for good, I’m going to kill them all. I will drain them dry and take their powers. None of them will see that coming.”
He has gone crazier over the years. Khan has always been a power-hungry leech but still calculating. Always with back up plans. Can it be that taking my immortality and the bond to all of our kind with it has driven him insane? It was never a burden on me, but it was freely given. He forcefully took it, so that might have scrambled his brain.
It's silent for too long and I want nothing more than to rush in there just to see if the woman is okay. There is something in her that’s special. Something that I can’t put my finger on. Pushing it aside, I concentrate on Khan and his craziness. He finally moves, his footsteps like shots in the silent tunnel.
“The time nears.” His voice is back to normal. “Not long now before those that were so loved by you, and those that tried to bring you back, watch you bleed again. Love and mercy have no room in my world. Tonight, everyone will see that and pledge their alliance to me. Including your precious Eshe.” Chuckling gleefully, he claps his hands. “Oh, you look confused. Maybe you thought I didn’t know she is still loyal to you. How pathetic!” Khan sneers. “I will get rid of all of you tonight. It’s a new era, and it will be mine.”
His footsteps sound even over the closing of a door, sending a thump of finality in the air. Taking my eyes off the roof, I finally look at the two guardians standing stock still around me. Their fangs are peeking under their upper lips, hands clenched at their sides. I realize my emotions must be leaking to them, the slight golden glow in their irises reminding me of my own.
“I have a job for the two of you,” I tell them with a smile.
Determination sets on both their faces, none of the reluctance that Andrei had when I said the same thing to him before I left the hotel. Ah, yes. We all have jobs to do tonight. Only, I have a feeling I’m the only one looking forward to doing mine. Squaring my shoulders, I wind through the tunnels, searching for an entrance to the Council Towers. Along the way, I explain to the guardians what I need them to get done.
All we need to do now is wait. It’s the first time I’m looking forward to sunset, as well.
Sebastian
Pulling on my shirtsleeves, looking around the wide, overcrowded parking lot of the Council Tow
ers, I push the anxiety down that’s coming through the bond from Andrei. Ever since April left, he’s been on edge, twitchy, and easily irritated. Apart from removing his head off his shoulders, I tried everything to get him to tell me what made him that way. He has been as tightlipped as a corpse, just staring at me with dull eyes.
Marcus, on the other hand, is still as a statue next to me, not even his chest is moving when he breathes. His intent focus, just like mine, has been turned inwards to the bond we have with April. We both have been trying to plow through the block, but she has it as impenetrable as a steel fortress.
“Look at them,” Andrei murmurs for our ears only, his voice full of disgust. “This same scum will come crawling at her feet right after they cheer for her death.”
“I’m not sure any of them know what’s really going on.” Marcus scans the crowds, who are flocking at the entrance while dressed to the nines in their finery.
Shoving a finger under the mask covering my entire face, I scratch at my jaw. The cursed thing is irritating, reminding me of days long past in Venice. Having a masked ball where they plan to kill her yet again is a mockery of her roots. Anger bubbles up, but I push it away. I set my mind to follow her lead. Isn’t this what I wanted? Why I searched the earth to find her? I will be what she needs! Sternly reminding myself, I flatten the lapels of my suit. At least it’s black this time. Khan’s mockery, dressing me in a white costume like a virginal sacrifice last time I was between those walls, makes my skin itch to get close to the bastard. While I have internal ramblings, the crowds have thinned, leaving only a few mulling around the parked cars. And the three of us, standing in the shadows, watching.
“Let us enter their nest.” Taking the first step, I feel Marcus and Andrei move behind me. “Don’t hesitate, vampire or human. Remove all that pose a threat to her. No one moves a hair from her head. Am I clear?”