by Lane, Shawn;
Pablo laughed. “I wasn’t going to hang out with my kid brother and his squirt friend.”
He rolled his eyes. “Yeah, yeah. I guess that’s pretty much true. But you don’t mind now?”
“Things have changed a bit since then, don’t you think?”
Yeah, like the fact he and Pablo had spent most of the night not getting any sleep. “Yes. Thanks for the coffee.”
“Welcome. I’ll be out in a second. Hector’s already up and eating breakfast.”
Sebastian nodded. He wanted to ask about where they stood. But he guessed that conversation could wait. “All right. See you in a few.”
He slipped back out of the bathroom and grabbed his coffee once more. Hector. Hell, he was going to have to tell his best friend now, wasn’t he? As much noise as they probably made maybe his friend already knew.
Chapter 4
Pablo had not been in the closet for years. Or ever, maybe. And he didn’t like it now. Not that he was actually in the closet exactly, but, as he walked around the zoo with his brother and Sebastian, it was starting to feel like it just a tiny bit.
While he wasn’t big on public displays of affection, he did like to be able to have certain liberties with the man he’d just had sex with. For instance when Sebastian leaned over the railing, he’d like to be able to rest his hand on the small of his back. While they walked to the next enclosure, it would be nice to hold Sebastian’s hand.
Instead, he had to pretend in front of his brother that nothing was different between them. They hadn’t spent the night kissing until they were breathless. It was making him grumpy.
It didn’t help that Sebastian looked about as damn sexy and adorable as he possibly could. Not like he was dressed in some super sexy way. Sebastian wore battered and holey jeans that hugged his ass and a navy T-shirt with a Warner Brothers cartoon graphic on it. But his honey colored hair was messy as usual and a lock of hair kept hanging in his eyes, giving him a rakish look. And there was a noticeable twinkle in his blue eyes whenever Pablo caught his gaze. It made Pablo a little crazy.
Pablo couldn’t force Sebastian to come out to Hector though. It had to be on his terms.
“What’s next?” Sebastian asked, stopping and looking at the zoo map. Pablo scooted close to him and looked over his shoulder.
He stabbed his finger at a location on the map. “We could go this way. It’ll eventually take us to the tigers.”
Sebastian glanced at him and smiled. “I love the tigers.”
Pablo smiled back, and then moved closer. He traced his finger along the route. “Then if you want we can go up that way and see the hippos.”
“Well, I love—”
Hector cleared his throat.
They looked over at him.
“Do either of you lovebirds want to know what I’d like to see?”
Sebastian turned a dark shade of red and he dropped the map. “L-lovebirds? We’re not lovebirds.”
Hector’s eyes narrowed and he grabbed their arms and pulled them out of the main walkway of the zoo over to the side by a popcorn cart.
“What’s going on? What’s between you two?”
“Nothing,” Sebastian insisted.
Pablo gritted his teeth even as Hector shook his head.
“Don’t give me that crap,” Hector said. “You guys haven’t stopped giving each other googly eyes since we got here.”
“I—”
Pablo laid his hand on Sebastian’s upper back and rubbed gently. “It’s all right, Sebastian. You can tell him.”
Sebastian clenched his eyes shut but then when he opened them again he gave a sharp nod. “I’m gay, Hector.”
Hector blinked rapidly for a few seconds, and then exhaled. He didn’t say anything for about a minute and a half, during which Pablo didn’t think Sebastian was breathing. He began to wonder himself if Hector was going to freak out. He could feel Sebastian shaking underneath his hand.
“I wondered when you would finally tell me,” Hector said, his voice calm and surprisingly gentle.
“You know?” Sebastian asked.
Hector nodded. “I guessed. CeCe sort of said something a couple years ago and—”
“Wait, CeCe knows, too?”
He shrugged. “Well, yeah, she guessed, too. She said based on when you used to date and the way you used to look at guys, she figured.” Hector dropped his voice. “I know you go out on weekends.”
“Oh, my God, you knew about that?”
“I wasn’t positive where you went, but I could figure it out.”
Sebastian had turned beet red. Pablo felt a little bit sorry for him, but he also knew everything would be all right, just as he’d told Sebastian. He dropped his hand lower to rest on the man’s waist. That was better.
Hector’s gaze went straight to where Pablo rested his hand, then back to meet Sebastian’s eyes. “And you two?”
“Well, uh, Pablo and I—”
“We spent the night with each other,” Pablo told his brother.
Sebastian looked at Pablo with sort of a I can’t believe you told him that look on his face.
To his relief, Hector grinned. “Okay, that’s what I thought. I think that’s cool.”
“You do?” Sebastian shook his head and smiled a little shyly. “I probably sound a bit like an idiot right now. It’s just, well, I’m a little blown away.”
Hector shook his head and put his hand on Sebastian’s shoulder. He opened his mouth to say something when Pablo’s cell phone beeped.
Frowning, he glanced at the number. One of his superiors. “I have to take this. Be right back.”
* * * *
Hector led Sebastian to a spot under a big leafy tree. “I can’t believe you waited this long to tell me.”
“Why didn’t you tell me you guessed?” Sebastian asked. Even though his best friend had accepted it, or seemed to anyway, Sebastian’s stomach was still tangled in enough knots to make any twisted pretzel jealous.
“I guess I thought you’d tell me when you were ready.” Hector sighed. “But today you and Pablo, you looked like you had a secret. I couldn’t keep my mouth shut anymore.”
Pablo. Sebastian’s stomach flipped. They were kind of seeing each other, weren’t they? Sure, they’d had sex and, well, he thought maybe they would again, but Pablo had actually told his brother they’d slept together which Sebastian thought maybe he’d try to keep a secret from his family. They were there only a week after all. He was still trying to wrap his mind around that.
“You don’t mind about me and Pablo?”
“No, why would I?”
Sebastian recalled Hector hadn’t cared when he dated CeCe. “Yeah, I guess you wouldn’t.”
“Why didn’t you want to tell me, Sebastian? Did you think I would care?” He looked hurt by that idea and Sebastian couldn’t have him believing that.
“It wasn’t that.” Sebastian pinched the bridge of his nose. “I knew you would be totally cool. Even if you didn’t have a gay brother, I knew you well enough to know you would be good with it.”
“Then why?”
“You know my family, Hector. They’re very religious. I can’t imagine how they’re going to react to this, and if I didn’t want to tell them, I guess I figured I had to hide it from everyone. Right now, I’m glad, I feel relief that you know, that Pablo knows, and we’re spending some time together, yeah. But I also feel sick to my stomach. I don’t know if I’m ready to lose my family.”
“You don’t even know that will happen,” Hector said softly.
“No,” Sebastian said, his throat clogging. “It might though.”
“Look, even if they do, you’ll still have me, Pablo, CeCe, and Mama. We’re all family.”
Sebastian felt the sting of tears and turned his head away. Pablo was walking back toward them. He wore just a hint of a smile.
Pablo wrapped his hand around the back of Sebastian’s neck and brought their foreheads together, staring into his eyes. “You all right?”
He blinked away the tears, no longer feeling tightness in his chest. He didn’t want to read too much in the smoking hot look in those dark eyes of Pablo’s, but whatever he saw in them, it eased much of his unease.
“Yes, I’m fine. What was that call?”
Pablo brushed his thumb across a tear that had fallen to Sebastian’s cheek. “Just an update on a case. Nothing to worry about.” He pulled back and dropped a brief kiss on the end of Sebastian’s nose and then he glanced at Hector. “Everything good?”
“It’s great.” Hector looked toward the animal signs. “Shall we move on to the tigers?”
“Definitely.” Sebastian didn’t protest at all when Pablo grabbed his hand.
* * * *
Pablo waited for Sebastian to take a shower after their day at the zoo before he cornered Mama to talk to her. Hector had disappeared to call a girl he was seeing up north, so Pablo decided it would be the perfect time to talk to Mama about Sebastian.
He figured Sebastian had a stressful day or couple of days really, what with coming out to him and Hector. Mama would take it well, but if he could ease things a bit for Sebastian then he would.
As usual, he found her in the kitchen, this time making Mexican sweet bread. She smiled a greeting at him.
“How was the zoo?”
“Crowded and tiring. Fun, though. Listen, Mama, can we talk?”
She frowned at him, but nodded and went to the sink and washed her hands. “You sound serious. What’s wrong? Is it work? Is it Peter?”
Pablo snorted. “Definitely not him.” He went to the cabinet that contained the glasses and took down a tall skinny plastic one. “Nothing’s really wrong, but I do have something to tell you.”
She leaned against the counter and folded her arms across her chest. “Oh?”
He got the iced tea pitcher from the fridge and poured himself a glass. “It’s about Sebastian.”
She arched an eyebrow at him. “Spit it out, Pablo. You’re driving me crazy.”
He laughed. “Okay, okay. Sebastian is gay, Mama. He’s been hiding it for years. I found out for sure yesterday, though I pretty much always knew.”
“And how did you know this before?”
Pablo felt his cheeks heat. “I sort of kissed him back when he was sixteen.”
Mama rolled her eyes. “Sort of. Either you did or you didn’t.”
“I did.” Pablo winced at her tone.
“When he was your sister’s boyfriend.”
“Yes. I didn’t say it was a smart thing to do. Anyway, you are getting off the subject. I didn’t spend the night in my room last night. I spent it in Sebastian’s room.”
“I see.”
He tried not to wince again. He was a grown man. A policeman. He shouldn’t cower in front of his mama. Pablo cleared his throat. “So, um, today at the zoo he came out to Hector, too.”
“Are you messing with Sebastian?” she asked, her dark eyes very serious.
“What do you mean?”
“Pablo, you’ve been out for years and had at least one serious relationship. You have more experience than him being gay and just in life. Sebastian is a sweet boy and very smart, but he’s sometimes naïve about things. I know he’s very cute and is staying in the room next to yours, but that doesn’t mean you should take advantage of him.”
It was his turn to roll his eyes. “Mama, I am not taking advantage of him.”
“No?”
“No. Our attraction, our feelings, are completely mutual,” Pablo said.
Mama sighed. “You do remember at the end of the week Sebastian and Hector go back up to Stanford. What then? He’s going to school. When he’s done with the degree, he’s going to medical school. Do you even know what school he is going to for that?”
“Well, no. We haven’t talked about that.”
“Long distance relationships are very hard, Pablo. You just got finished with a tough relationship. Has Sebastian ever had a boyfriend?”
“No.”
“And now his first relationship is going to be long distance?” She shook her head. “That’s too hard.”
Pablo was starting to get a headache. “Well, I didn’t say we were in a relationship, Mama, and I most definitely didn’t say I was his boyfriend. I said we spent the night together.”
She opened her mouth to respond, but then quickly closed it, looking past Pablo. “Oh, Sebastian, sweetie, I didn’t see you there.”
“Um. Yeah. I came to get a drink,” Sebastian said, his voice very soft.
Pablo reluctantly turned around, feeling suddenly like a gigantic ass. Sebastian had to have heard what he’d just said to his mama.
Sebastian had dressed in jeans and a black T-shirt, and his honey colored hair was wet and plastered to his head. His cheeks were red and he wasn’t looking at Pablo. “I can come back later.”
“Don’t be silly.” She went to him and took his arm, smiling. “What did you want? A Coke?”
He nodded. “Yes, please.”
Mama got Sebastian a can of soda out of the fridge and handed it to Sebastian. “You want ice and a glass?”
“No. I think I’m going to go for a walk around the old neighborhood. I’ll see you later.”
And then he disappeared from the kitchen without ever looking at Pablo.
Mama glared at him. “You see!”
“I know, I know. I’m sorry. I’ll go after him.”
* * * *
The late afternoon had turned cold and gooseflesh pricked Sebastian’s bare arms as he made his way down the streets of his old neighborhood. Funny how where he hung out as a kid seemed almost haunted now. He could almost see the spirits or the traces of the kids he’d known, the old neighbors waving at each other. Most of them, like his own family, had moved on.
Sebastian heard the footsteps behind him and knew Pablo had followed him even without bothering to turn around. He wasn’t sure he was ready to deal with Pablo, but he guessed he had no choice. Biting his lip, he stopped and turned just as Pablo reached him.
“Hi.” Pablo wore a leather jacket and he held another one in his hands. He held it out to Sebastian. “Thought you might be cold.”
Sebastian stared at it but didn’t reach for it. “That’s not mine.”
Pablo smiled. “I know. It’s mine. Put it on.”
He wanted to mutiny, but really he was chilly so he took it and shrugged it on. The brown leather was soft and supple and smelled of Pablo. “I didn’t need company.”
“That’s too bad, because you have it.” Pablo gestured down the street. “Shall we?”
Clenching his jaw, Sebastian turned and began to walk again, Pablo by his side. He wanted to say something about what he’d overheard in the kitchen, but didn’t know if he should. Or even what he would say.
“What happened to the Coke?”
“Hmm?” Sebastian asked.
“Mama handed you a Coke.”
He shrugged. “I left it on the table in the front hall.”
They fell silent and Sebastian shoved his hands into the pockets of the jacket.
“Look, Sebastian, what you heard—”
“I never told anyone you were my boyfriend,” Sebastian interrupted.
“I know.”
“Or that we had a relationship. Or that I even wanted one with you. Or anyone, let alone you.”
“Wait, what?” Pablo frowned. “Why not me?”
Sebastian snorted in disgust. “This isn’t about you, Pablo. It’s about crazy assumptions. We had sex, okay? So fucking what.” Was that almost hysterical voice really his?
“Why is a relationship with me a crazy assumption?”
He rolled his eyes. “The point is, there is no us. We spent a single night together. It’s not going to be repeated, so everyone should just shut the fuck up about it.”
“You’re the one who happens to be talking about it,” Pablo pointed out.
Sebastian stopped on the sidewalk. “Yeah, so I’m going to shut the
fuck up myself.”
Pablo’s lips twitched. He stepped close to Sebastian, close enough he could feel his body heat. Pablo grabbed Sebastian’s hands and unclenched them. He hadn’t even realized he’d curled them into fists.
“I like the idea of you shutting up.”
Sebastian narrowed his eyes. “Oh, yeah?”
“Yeah.” Pablo leaned down and covered Sebastian’s lips with his.
Chapter 5
Sebastian stiffened instantly but his lips softened, giving Pablo an idea of the raging battle the younger man fought with himself. He stroked across the back of Sebastian’s hand with his thumb. He wanted to linger over the kiss, yet he was mindful of making Sebastian uncomfortable.
Pablo stepped back, but kept one of Sebastian’s hands in his. He smiled. “See? Much better when both of us shut up.”
Sebastian touched his lips with his other hand. He shook his head. “You and your mixed signals.”
“And what would those be?”
“Like this morning. You tell me things have changed between us, you keep touching me at the zoo, and then you tell your mother there’s nothing between us. Now you’re kissing me again.”
He frowned. “I didn’t say there is nothing between us.”
Sebastian tugged his hand out of Pablo’s and stared at him. “You did! You said we had no relationship.”
Pablo sighed and waited for the car driving past them to get far enough away before he spoke again. “I think what is between us should be discussed by us before Mama and Hector make up their own minds about it.”
“You were the one who told both of them about us.”
“Yes. You said having sex with me would not be repeated. I’m telling you now I want to repeat it.”
Sebastian blushed. “But—”
As another car passed them by, this one slowing down to openly stare at them, Pablo grabbed Sebastian’s hand and turned to go back toward his house. “Let’s go discuss this back at the house. It’s too cold out here anyway.”
Neither of them spoke on the short walk back home. After taking off their jackets, they walked toward the hallway, and Pablo heard Hector in the kitchen with Mama. Besides the aroma of Mexican sweet bread, he was pretty sure he smelled enchiladas baking. It was a dish they enjoyed making together.