Abby raised tortured green eyes to him and a section of Daniel's midriff knotted. He had never seen so much pain in her eyes.
"The call was from one of Jack Williams’ children. He passed away last night."
Daniel recalled the man he'd seen at the book sale. He knew Abby visited Vista regularly to spend time with Jack Williams. Being Abby, he could guess how deeply attached she had been to the elderly gentleman.
"At least he didn't suffer," Abby eyes filled with tears. "He died in his sleep. The staff found him with a smile on his face."
Daniel put a hand on Abby's shoulder and massaged it. "I'm sorry, Abby."
"He had three grown up children who never found the time to visit him. Jack always made excuses for them. He was always telling me how busy they were, how important their jobs were. I knew deep down he never stopped hoping they would come visit him. They are there now but what difference does it make?"
She was crying openly now. Daniel wished there was something he could do for her. "Abby, you visited him. He wasn't alone."
"I know, but he wanted his children to come see him. They could have come, just once, when he was alive."
Daniel gathered Abby to him and let her cry. He cupped her head to his shoulder, felt the warm tears soak into his shoulder. His heart ached because there was nothing more he could do for her.
She had always cried alone. Crying in Daniel's arms, Abby felt she wasn't by herself any more.
After a while she said, "I have to go to Vista. The funeral's this afternoon."
"I'll drive you there," Daniel said.
"You don't have to."
"I want to be with you."
That pierced the veil of Abby's sadness. I want to be with you.
"Thank you Daniel," she said softly.
At Vista, he helped her sort and label the boxes of Mr. Williams' few possessions. During the funeral service he sat beside her. His arm was around her at the grave side.
Daniel knew there was very little he could do besides being there. Abby was a giver. She would always be one. Not today, not tomorrow, but soon, he was positive she would find someone else to care for, just as deeply as she had cared about Mr. Williams. Whoever took on Abby had to realize he would always have to share her with the rest of the world.
Who are you trying to kid, Hawthorn? Cut the whoever bit, and admit you see yourself in that role.
In the car on the way home, Daniel could sense Abby was withdrawing from him again. Her voice was very formal as she said, "Thank you for everything, Daniel."
He had to be content with the fact Abby had needed him for a while today. When the car stopped, Daniel said, "Have a warm bath and go straight to bed."
"I think I'll do just that." Abby's compliance as she opened the car door startled Daniel. "Thanks again, and goodnight Daniel."
He sat there for a while staring into the darkness. Since college he'd always had a plan. Having plans had shielded him from disappointment. From defeat. Now he had come up against something that couldn't be planned. Love.
He had to take each day as it came and hope things would work out for the best. Right now hope seemed a very frail string to hang the future on.
In the guest house Daniel paced the living room, unable to settle down. There had to be something he could do. Daniel hadn't felt this frustrated and powerless in a long while. Since his parents’ death in fact. Maybe that was why he had chosen a career in business. He knew exactly what reaction a certain action would produce.
Human relations weren't like that at all. There was no order to them, at times no sense. Yet no human being who wanted to live a completely satisfying life could avoid the tangle of human relationships. Pain was part of the package, just as pleasure was.
Abby stepped into the community room a couple of days later to ask if anyone needed anything from the outlet plaza. A meeting was in progress, and she slipped into a chair at the back.
As the lemony scent registered she turned and looked into Daniel's dark eyes. Her heart attempted to jump out of her chest and land at his feet.
Busy with Mrs. G's house she hadn't seen Daniel the last couple of days.
"Hi!" said Abby breathlessly.
He smiled and Abby had a hard time not leaning into the warmth of his smile. "I missed you," he whispered.
They both forced themselves to look at Sarah, who was conducting the meeting.
"I don't know how we can thank Daniel for all he's done for us," Sarah's eyes were suspiciously bright as she looked at Daniel. "Thanks to him The Busy Bee is on its feet now. The first thing we're going to do as soon as we have enough money is repay Daniel."
A round of applause followed the statement. Abby joined in.
"It was nothing," Daniel muttered.
"Mr. Wong’s managing the website and I’m happy to say the sales are brisk," said Sarah.
Everyone clapped. Their success had exceeded their wildest dreams.
"Has anyone told Daniel about our new motto?" asked Hamish.
"New motto?" Daniel wondered what it was.
"We're going to learn by all the advice you've given us," said Hamish. "Each month we're going to make sure we have the mortgage payment before we give anything except our time away."
Agnes nodded solemnly. "Franz has enrolled in a computer class in adult education and as soon as we can afford it, we're going to buy a new computer and Mr. Wong will give classes here."
"You've decided not to accept the oil company's offer to sponsor you?"
"We voted on it," said Sarah, "and though the offer would have meant we'd be financially secure for the rest of our lives, none of us want to be taken over. We want to continue the way we are, make our own rules. No corporation can understand us better than we can understand ourselves."
It felt good to see them so happy. Daniel couldn't describe the way he felt. He hadn't done much but the results were wonderful. Nothing beat this warm feeling he had inside. Nothing except having Abby in his arms. He looked at her. Saturday night was only two days away.
"How's it going on the new job?"
"Tomorrow we start wallpapering and painting," Abby told him. "Mrs. G's housewarming date doesn't give me a whole lot of time, but I know I can do it."
"I guess I'll see you Saturday." He had to be patient till then. It was obvious she had her hands full right now.
"Saturday," Abby echoed with a quick smile. "I'm looking forward to the concert."
Abby was in Mrs. G's house Saturday morning when she started sneezing. It had been so long since her allergies had bothered her that she ignored the attack at first. Anything could be causing it. The paint thinner the workmen were using, the paint itself. It would just go away.
A half hour later Abby's eyes were watering so badly she couldn't keep them open. Telling the workers she'd be back soon, she went outside. A breath of fresh air would take care of everything.
When she couldn't stop sneezing, Abby decided to go home. It was time to follow her doctor's advice. A change of surroundings and an antihistamine would soon set everything straight.
CHAPTER TEN
Abby wasn't sure if the pounding was inside her head, or outside. Opening her eyes was an effort. Someone was at the front door. Reaching for her robe, she went groggily downstairs.
Abby clung to the front door. Was she dreaming? Daniel stood there in a dark suit, looking like he had when she'd first seen him.
"You aren't ready?"
Abby looked down. The bunny feet on her yellow flannel pajamas peeped out from under her robe. She remembered putting them on because she'd felt cold.
"Ready?" she said blankly, wishing the antihistamine didn't always make her head feel so heavy.
"The concert," Daniel reminded patiently.
"Oh my goodness!" Abby ran a hand through her hair. "I've been asleep. Why didn't someone wake me?" Turning away from the door, she went through the hall into the kitchen. "Where is everyone, anyway?"
No one had woken her because she had
n't told anyone about the concert. She'd thought it was better not to mention it.
"It's Bingo night," Daniel reminded her.
"I wasn't feeling well and I took an antihistamine, but I'll be ready in five minutes."
Abby felt terribly nervous. She had planned for this evening, wanted everything to be perfect. Daniel must be very angry with her.
Abby turned away quickly. The next minute she knew she'd made a mistake. Her head spun and she felt the room whirl around her. Grabbing the back of a chair, she hung on.
"Abby what's wrong?"
"I took an antihistamine this afternoon. It has this effect on me."
"Sit down." Daniel put her into a chair. Bringing her a glass of water he said, "Should we go to a doctor?"
"No," Abby said quickly. "I'll be fine."
She had been meaning to ask Dr. Davisson for a different prescription, but as usual, she hadn't found time for her own personal needs.
The feeling she had ruined the evening clung to her. "I'm sorry. I was perfectly fine this morning. Something at Mrs. G's triggered my allergies." Looking at the kitchen clock, Abby said, "You can still make it to the concert if you leave now." There was no sense in both of them missing it.
"I'm not going without you. I'll be right back."
Abby gathered her robe around her. If she closed her eyes she could see a mirror image of what she must look like. Yellow flannel pajamas, with bunny feet. Old blue robe. Hair standing up. Sleep drenched face.
A surge of adrenalin got her to her feet. Abby made her way into the downstairs bathroom carefully. After washing her face and brushing her teeth, she combed her hair, using water to control its unruliness. It didn't help much, but it was a slight improvement.
"In here," Daniel called as she opened the door of the bathroom. Abby came to a dead stop in the doorway of the family room. Daniel had moved the coffee table aside and was spreading a picnic blanket over the carpet.
"What are you doing?"
"This is the next best thing to going to the concert," he said.
Dazed, Abby sat down. She recognized the distinctive picnic basket. It was from the Roebuck deli on Main Street. The place had a reputation for elegance and style.
Daniel had gone to a great deal of trouble arranging the evening.
"I'm sorry," Abby took the exquisite china plate Daniel handed her. She should never have taken the antihistamine.
"Don't be," Daniel said, picking up his own plate and leaning against the sofa. "Staying in is all the style these days."
"It is?" Abby asked blankly.
"Yes. People have such busy lifestyles with business lunches and hectic schedules, spending an evening at home has become special. It's the latest thing in Los Angeles anyway."
Abby took a cautious bite of the food on her plate. It was absolutely delicious. The white wine Daniel had poured into crystal goblets was perfect with the chicken cordon bleu. Daniel looked elegant in his formal clothes. He didn't seem upset that he was sitting on the floor with them. Abby glanced down at her outfit. She was the only odd note. The food in her mouth turned to sawdust. Daniel deserved better than this.
"Relax, Abby."
She stared at Daniel as he got up and slipped a DVD into the player. How did he always guess what she was thinking? He switched off the light leaving the room bathed in the golden glow of a single lamp. Sitting next to Abby, so that they were both resting against the couch he said, "The next best thing to being there. This is a recording of the International Jazz Festival. I bought it for you, but we may as well listen to it together now."
As Abby lost herself in the beauty of the music, her mood shifted. Her clothes, her hair, nothing seemed to matter anymore. It felt right to be here, with Daniel, listening to some of the best music in the world.
She wasn't quite sure when he picked up the afghan from the back of the couch. Moving closer to Abby, he placed it around both their shoulders. She enjoyed the feeling of being tucked into his side, the heat emanating from him.
"Have you ever been to New Orleans?" Daniel asked.
"No."
"We'll go there one day and you can have your fill of jazz. It's performed everywhere. The streets, the sidewalk cafes, the best hotels."
Abby wondered if she'd heard right. Had Daniel said we? Her glance went to the screen. Fireworks signaled the end of the concert.
Sensing Daniel was watching her, Abby looked at him, and everything else faded away. The room, the television screen, the remains of their picnic. Emotion throbbed between them, and her heart beat to the strange rhythm of magic drums.
Daniel leaned forward and took her face in his hands. Abby's hands went around his neck. His lips were warm and fresh against hers and she opened her mouth welcoming his warmth. His love.
She had been out in the cold for so long. It felt good to be warm again. To feel as if she'd come home.
Every nerve ending responded to Daniel's touch. Abby cuddled closer, enjoying the feel of the powerful muscles in his back under her hands.
Daniel loved having Abby in his arms. He kissed her brows, her cheeks, and the tip of her nose before returning to her mouth for more. It was a while before his lips wandered down her neck and he pushed aside her dressing gown and her pajamas resting his hot mouth against a bare shoulder.
"Daniel, no."
He went very still and then he lifted his head. "Abby, what's the matter?"
The passion she saw on Daniel's face made Abby very nervous. "I...I want you to leave now."
"Abby," he made to draw her close again, but she put a hand on his chest.
"Daniel, wait, please. This is all happening too fast for me."
She brought her other hand up increasing the distance between them. She'd followed emotion in a headlong flight once before. Never again. She couldn't let Daniel sweep her off her feet. The magic of his kiss was all part of the illusion he had created tonight. The picnic in the family room, the wine, the wonderful concert. What they felt now wouldn't stand up to the light of day, tomorrow.
"Abby, what's wrong?"
She let her hands drop. "Daniel, please don't rush me."
"I don't think I am rushing you. If I go any slower, I won't be moving at all. Why deny what we both feel?"
"Because it's happening too fast," said Abby. "Because it's happened before and I can't trust these feelings again."
"I'm not a clone of your late husband, Abby."
"It's not you I don't trust," she said quickly. "It's myself. I'm not ready for any of this."
She hadn't forgotten how quickly she had fallen out of love with Rod.
They looked at each other in silence. For a minute she thought Daniel was about to argue with her.
"I'm sorry." She'd never seen him look so tense, not even when she'd challenged him at the seminar.
"It's all right Abby."
Long after the front door closed behind him, Abby sat gazing at the blank television screen. Daniel's quiet words haunted her. It's all right, Abby.
Only it wasn't all right.
Memory played the blues as she repacked the picnic basket. The feeling she'd lost something very important clung to her as she went upstairs.
Abby thought of Daniel's words the next evening as she stopped in the drive of his new house and stared at it. It looked better than the first time because the rays of the setting sun had polished the house to a soft amber.
Carefully taking out the lamp, Abby extracted the key to the house from her pocket. She had gone to Irving Realtors this morning. Marge Irving who ran the real estate company with her husband, had gone to school with Abby. Getting the key had been no problem. Marge had told her Daniel's offer on the property had been accepted. She had also mentioned as he was a prequalified buyer, escrow would go through very quickly.
Going into the kitchen, Abby hung the lamp on the hook suspended from the ceiling fixture. Glancing out of the window she stared at the row of trees. They looked as if they had been there forever. Why couldn't lo
ve be like that?
Abby touched her lips. The imprint of Daniel’s lips was still strong on her mouth. She closed her eyes. Daniel had made a ceremony out of the kiss. It had all been there out in the open. In the way she had kissed him. In the way she had held him. She wanted Daniel.
She had a poor way of showing it though. Fear had made her push him away blindly. There had been anger mixed in with his tension. Abby didn't blame him. She felt angry with herself too.
They had known each other for over a month now. Seen each other practically every day. Spent time together. That could hardly be called rushing someone.
Abby wondered what Daniel had in mind. A casual affair? She couldn't afford to indulge in one. The alternative was a long term relationship which continued where it had left off every time he visited Carbon Canyon? She wasn't the type.
This left only marriage.
To Abby, marriage was a partnership, a codependency. If either partner did not bring their full one hundred percent to it, it would never work. With Rod, she had given increasingly more, but it hadn't been enough. She simply didn't have what it took to sustain a marriage.
Besides, she'd better not forget one thing. Daniel hadn't mentioned marriage.
"Hi Abby!"
She whirled to face Daniel, her heart in her throat.
"You scared me."
Her gaze hungrily devoured the way he looked in a yellow tee-shirt and brown slacks, his wet hair slicked back, before wandering to the width of his shoulders. Imagination replayed the way his back bunched with tension, had felt under her hands. Abby swallowed.
"I'm sorry," Daniel said. "I saw your van outside. I called out but you didn't answer."
Abby flushed. Her thoughts had blanketed her senses. "I didn't hear you."
His gaze went from her to the lamp.
"A small present from all of us to thank you for your help," Abby said quickly. "I hope you don't mind me coming here like this."
The Old Fashioned Way (A Homespun Romance) Page 14