I waited as they got Connor’s body out of the wreckage. They had him strapped to a gurney and in the back of the ambulance faster than the pit crew had the tires done. When he was secure in the back, the doors were closed, and two thumps told me we were ready to go. I couldn’t bring myself to look at him, but when his hand grabbed hold of mine, I smiled.
Two EMT’s were checking him out in the back of the ambulance. His leg looked shattered, and when they went to move it, Connor yelled out in pain.
“Morphine drip first. Then the splint.” The guy names Lee said to his partner.
Soon, Connor was hooked up to a machine with patches stuck to his chest. An IV hung from the bend of his arm and he wasn’t screaming as the men worked on splinting his leg. By the time they got to his arm the bus was rolling into the ambulance bay at the emergency room.
Chapter 15
Parker
Sitting in the waiting room at the hospital was the hardest thing I’ve ever done. I sat there going over everything in my head. From Connor’s out of control spin to the car hitting him, to the out of control spin that pinned him to the wall. I hadn’t even realized there was a fire in the vehicle. I couldn’t see his face in the ambulance, and by the slack of his hand, I figured he was sleeping. I was too busy staring at his feet and legs. The suit and shoes he wore for protection were coated black. It took me half the ride to realize what that meant and when it finally registered in my head, I started to cry more. I felt Connor squeeze my hand once before they wheeled him out of the back of the ambulance at the hospital. When I was told to take a seat, I did and haven’t moved for hours.
“Family of Connor Reed?” A nurse in a dull green scrub outfit shouted through the waiting room, and I jumped from my chair.
“That’s me.”
“What relationship are you to Mr. Reed?”
“We’re partners. How is he?”
“Do you mean business partners or romantically?”
“What does it matter? Is he alive?” I began to raise my voice.
“Sir, it’s my job to ask. Mr. Reed being who he is, and hospital policy dictates that only family can be spoken to about Mr. Reed’s condition.”
“He has no blood relatives living. We are in a relationship…boyfriends.”
“In that case, I think I have to ask the doctor.”
“What the…can you at least tell me if he’s alive?” I yelled and saw security walking my way as well as a tall man in a white coat.
“Mr. Taylor?” The doctor asked offering his hand. I shook it briefly and eyed him for an answer so the security guards flanking him wouldn’t jump me. “I’m Dr. Stevens. I’m taking care of Connor. I think given the fact that the entire world knows your romantically involved, I’ll say it’s okay to speak with you,” he said motioning for the security guards to leave us. “Follow me this way.”
He took me down a white hallway. The halogens at this point were giving me a migraine, so I shaded my eyes with my hand. When the doctor turned into a patient’s room, I ran past the man toward the bed. Connor was laying with his eyes closed, one arm down at his side, the other in a cast from shoulder to his elbow and wore a sling. He looked so pale for having spent so much time outside in Florida.
“He’s so pale,” I said to no one in particular.
“He’s lost slot of blood. Three broken ribs, one of which perforated his lung. Tibial shaft and femoral shaft fractures,” he noted the cast on Connors left leg. “Collar bone, shoulder blade, and skull fracture. He’s suffered a bad hit to the head. He was conscious when he arrived but quickly coded. We were able to restart his heart and get him into surgery to repair the broken bones. The skull fracture will heal, but he will need close observation. We did have to drill a small hole in his skull to relieve the build-up of fluid and pressure. He won’t wake for a while.”
“When will he? He will, right?”
“Right now we have him sedated to allow the swelling in his brain to go down some. We’ll begin weaning him off the sedative when we see some improvement. Is there anyone we can call?”
“Like I told your nurse. His family is all gone. His father died when he was just a kid, and his mother a few years ago.”
“Do you know what from?”
“Yeah, his dad died in Desert Storm. His mother had a heart condition. I’m not sure what it was. We were on a…break at the time.”
“Ok, well if you can think of anything we might need to know, please tell the nurses. I’ll be by before I leave for the night, to check on him.”
“Thank you, doctor.” I sat in the only chair in the room, sliding it next to his bed. I took his hand in mine and looked at every detail of his face. His cheeks were sunken in. His face was two shades lighter, and there was blood around his mouth where the tube was resting, helping him breathe. The heart monitor beeped in the corner. It was one of those noises I’d always thought were annoying, but now the sound of it made my own heart skip a beat. Every annoying beep meant my man was alive, and those noises were priceless.
I heard a knock on the door but didn’t look away from Connor, figuring it was a nurse coming to check his vitals.
“How is he?” Terri moved to the other side of Connor’s bed, taking his hand. When I looked up, I noticed Rob standing with his shoulders slumped by the door. His hands were in his pockets, and he was staring intently at the floor.
“Not good. The doctors have Connor in a coma until the swelling in his brain goes down.”
“But…but he’s not gonna…” Rob stuttered a bit with his question.
“No, he’s not. He can’t die. Not now.” I looked back down at Connor’s sleeping form. “I just got him back.” I didn’t care who was in the room. The bruises on his face around his bandages were already dark and nasty looking. He had a black eye, and the sight of him made the tears fall at a rate that was beyond my control.
Terri circled around the bed. Her heels clicking against the hospital floor making a horrible echo in the room. She placed a hand on my shoulder before she spoke. “That a boy. Believe it, and it’ll come true.” She whipped her hair around as she left the room.
“You have to excuse her, she’s not a hospital person,” Rob said moving to the vacant spot Terri left beside Connor’s bed.
“I’ve known her since high school. She’s just Terri, and for so many reasons.” I grasped Connor’s hand in both of mine and rest my forehead against them. I needed to be near him, but at the moment I felt like if I touched anything other than his hand, I’d break him. The anger, sadness, and grief were just about eating me alive.
“So, I was thinking of moving to New York,” Rob announced.
“Nice.”
“They say it helps coma patients feel less anxious when they hear normal, everyday conversation around them,” he added when I didn’t say anything else.
I let out a long sigh to control myself. And moved the chair so I could hold Connor’s hand and relax to see Rob as we spoke. “Why New York?” It wasn’t much, but it was more than Terri offered, and I’ve known her for damn near half my life. Rob only knew the bad shit about me. If he and Connor met up right after we broke up, then he must have heard nothing but the bad, but here he was trying to calm Connor and me.
“Connor offered me a position at Fast and Loud. He said not to tell anyone, but I think he meant on the circuit, or at the shop. I doubt he’d have a problem with me telling you. Huh, Connor?” He said playfully tapping the side of the bed as if Connor could answer back.
“Really? What position?” I’m sure Rob could tell I was just playing along. I didn’t really care now. If he’d brought it up at any other time, I would have been happy for him. Fast and Loud needed more hands and having such a great mechanic there made me happy. I just couldn’t reconcile the feeling I was having about Connor being badly hurt.
“Shop manager. Of course, that promotes Ryan to sales floor manager. The extra help is for Ryan so he can focus more on sales and commissions…the special orders. Con
nor’s excited about getting back to building and fabrication. Just watching him talk about it, I could see how happy he was of the prospect of not splitting his time anymore. Happiest I’ve ever seen him. Except when he told me you were back.”
My gaze moved from Connor to Rob with his last statement. “He was happy?”
“Hell yeah. Hot-shot always knew you were coming back eventually. He said the two of you were meant to be. He was very adamant about it actually.”
“What about Matthew? Weren’t they engaged?”
“Hell no. That was one of Matthews issues. He just didn’t want our boy here to know that. Last year Matthew proposed, Connor said no. Turned him down flat. No explanation or nothing. Just left for a race. The only reason Matt didn’t move out then was because Connor asked him not to. He asked this past February again. Connor said no again, then told him he would never get married. He told me after that, he’d only ever dreamt of marrying you and couldn’t see how it would work with anyone else.”
“Wow. So, he really does love me?”
“How could you not know that?”
“He doesn’t say it.” I looked between the two men in the room.
“Ever consider he’s afraid you’ll walk again? He’s guarding his heart until you make some grand statement.”
“I already have. I told Connor he’s my everything and I want to be with him forever. He still didn’t say it.”
“Maybe it needs to be equal to the pain he felt when you left, to heal that rift.”
“So, a grand gesture? No, that’s not Connor. At least it never was before.” I thought about how he would take everything shot at him. He just let it roll down off him without a care in the world. Had I changed him that much? I couldn’t stand to think that was possible as much as I couldn’t stand to see him look so lifeless. It was a stab to the heart and a wake-up moment. Connor was a different man. He’ll I’m a different man. Everything that has happened the last ten years has changed us both in ways I’d never thought of. If a grand gesture would do it. Then I’d have to think of the biggest gesture I could. I needed him to trust my love again.
“I hear you, brother. I do hear you.”
“Good,” Rob said before he turned toward the door. “I’ll go hunt Terri down. Make sure she’s not getting locked in upstairs.”
“Upstairs?”
“Nut ward,” Rob said laughing his way out of the room.
More than likely Rob wanted to let Terri off the hook and getting her out of the hospital did that. I knew her story. It wasn’t great, and for that reason alone I gave her more credit for just coming to see Connor.
The days went by with visitors from the pit crew. Connor’s sponsors stepped in and settled the bill with the hospital. They would be taking care of all his medical bills until he was one hundred percent recovered. Terri hadn’t stopped by again, but she called once a day. That was more than I expected. On the fourth day, the doctor came into his room and told me they were going to wean Connor out of the coma. The swelling had come down a considerable amount, and his emergency contact would need to be present to make final decisions about his care in case they didn’t receive the desired result from it. Trying to find out who he listed was difficult. He never signed paperwork in Florida, so the hospital had to contact the hospital and his primary doctor back in New York.
As it turned out, the manager at his shop was his emergency contact on all his paperwork. Ryan was called, and he flew down on the fifth day. Rob picked the man up at the airport and brought him straight to the hospital where the doctors were eager to proceed. Apparently keeping him in the coma for so long could do more damage than good and they wanted to pull him out as soon as possible.
The medication was slowed when we had confirmation Ryan was on the plane. By the time he walked into Connor’s room nothing had changed. The blonde Adonis strolled in wearing a pinstripe suit and wingtip shoes. His hair was neat and combed to the side, and he looked like he was melting in his suit. If I didn’t know who he was when he walked into the room, I would have never recognized him.
“Parker, I heard you two were back on,” he held his hand out to me, and I accepted it. I needed Ryan on my side. He literally had my heart in his hands. What he decided would make or break me, and I wasn’t going to take a chance at insulting him the first time we saw each other again.
“Yeah, we were going to stop at the shop when we got back to New York. We were looking forward to a pizza and a few beers.”
“Same, only I was looking forward to a nice dinner at the penthouse and some casual conversation.”
“Well, I’m sorry, gentlemen, but the conversation we need to have is not going to be casual. Mr. Taylor, if you could give Mr. Nelson and me a minute?” The doctor said standing at the door motioning over his shoulder.
“No, I will not leave.”
“It’s okay, Parker. Doctor, whatever you have to say can be said in front of Parker. Connor would want him to have a say. He just hasn’t had a chance to change his proxy information yet. This really isn’t my call.”
“Fine,” the doctor said taking the clipboard off the wall with Connor’s chart on it. “Mr. Reed has had several injuries. The most important being the skull fracture. We’ve had him in a sedative-induced coma and need to wean him out of it. This we’re doing for two reasons. The first being it’s not needed anymore. His swelling has gone down and keeping him sedated could do more damage than good at this point. The second is we need to see if he will wake up. If he doesn’t, I’m afraid I will be asking you two to make tough decisions.”
“As in?” I asked, not really wanting to discuss it. It was like admitting defeat.
“As in permanent placement. If he can survive off the machines but doesn’t wake up, Connor will need to be moved to a long-term care facility.”
“When will you start to pull him out?” Ryan asked.
“We already have. He could wake at any time. The longer it takes, the more you two should think of a place to send him.”
“Well, we won’t need to worry about that,” Ryan said. “He will wake up. He’s struggled for too long to get where he is to give it up now. Haven’t ya, Connor?”
“No fucking kidding.” A series of coughs followed, and we all looked down to Connor. “Why is Ryan here? Am I dying?”
“No, babe. You’re not dying. Not yet.” I leaned down beaming from ear to ear, kissing his face and hands.
“I missed you too,” Connor said as I backed away to look at his eyes, making sure they were really open.
“Good to see you too. I fly all this way to see you, and you want me gone already?” Ryan pretended his feelings were hurt, but Connor saw right through it.
“No way, man. I just wanted to make sure they didn’t call you here to pull the plug. Besides, that’s no longer your place to decide.” He looked at me and then back to Ryan. “If you’re here who’s handling the shop?”
“I uh...” The doctor saved him when he interrupted.
“Mr. Reed. I’m Dr. Stevens. How do you feel?” The doctor asked him, and he looked like he was surprised to see the older man in the room. “Maybe Mr. Nelson and Mr. Taylor could give us a moment to examine you?”
“I’d like Parker to stay.”
“No, babe. Talk to the doctor. I’ll go get some coffee and some air.”
This doctor was getting on my nerves, but rather than risk getting Connor upset I agreed and dragged Ryan with me.
“Hey, man. I just want to say thanks for what you said back there. I appreciate it. Not many people would consider a new boyfriend might want some say in such a situation.”
“Fuck that shit, as I see it, you two are soul mates. If I had the kind of love the two of you had, I’d do everything in my power to save it. That’s all it comes down to.”
Chapter 16
Connor
When the doctor told me about my injuries, I wanted to break down and cry. I knew it was going to be bad. I had shut my eyes to brace for the impact
of the wall, but it wasn’t so bad. I had to force myself to keep them open when I started to spin, but then I had gotten so close to the other cars I squeezed them tight again. I opened my eyes just as a car started barreling toward me. The impact jarred me forward, and I felt the pain in my collarbone. The harness on one shoulder was tighter than the other. The crunch of the car the second time I hit the wall was louder than the first, and I knew I wasn’t finishing the race. Pain shot through my legs just after the crunch, and the car came to a stop. My head hit the roll bar on the door side.
My mistake in all of that was taking my helmet off after I stopped spinning the first time. I thought that was it until the last car came around the track. Whoever that was, clearly was not paying attention to what was going on. The pain in my head damn near knocked me out, but I was able to hold onto consciousness to see Parker tear stained sitting in the ambulance. He wouldn’t meet my eyes, so I squeezed his hand and closed mine. Every time I did, Lee the EMT on call at the track would nudge me to open them. By the time we got to the hospital they were closed, but I could hear everything around me. I felt Parker kiss my hand as we seemed to fly down the hall. The bright lights above flashed against my closed lids, reminding me of strobe lighting.
When all the voices stopped, I could feel cold hands against my body. The sting of cold metal against my hurting limbs as a nurse cut my gear and clothes from me. Then the voices continued, only less than before.
“Nathan, place a Foley in Mr. Reed while Clair grabs the portable x-ray.”
“Sure thing, doc.” A strong male voice said. I couldn’t pay attention to what Nathan was doing as whatever they were pumping into my IV was working. I was on cloud nine. “Mr. Reed can you open your eyes for me.”
I thought I shook my head, but I guess not because a heavy hand began rubbing at my chest. I opened my eyes for a moment, but the words I wanted to form wouldn’t come.
“You’ve got a bit of damage to this body of yours. We’re going to sedate you now and get you patched up. How’s that sound?” To respond, I just blinked. I knew I could manage that much. “Ok, Trish…push propofol. Mr. Reed, I want you to begin counting back from ten. Even if it’s just to yourself. Can you do that?”
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