by Max Monroe
Truthfully, I was growing tired of it. I missed sleeping in my own bed.
I missed my house in Beverly Hills.
Initially, I’d been avoiding going home because my house had been Camilla’s house too, and it was too difficult to be there.
But now, it was more related to the paparazzi waiting outside of my property, ready to snap any photos they could get their lens on.
Inside the hotel, we had some privacy. We had more control.
Not only because of our security staff, but the hotel had their own as well.
The front entrance of the establishment was always monitored by guards. And anytime we left the premises, we were able to go through the back, staff-only entrance. By the time paparazzi realized we were on the move, we were already fifteen minutes away.
Sure, they still always managed to catch up with us at some point, but at least it all felt a lot more manageable.
Still, though, it was a fucking hotel room and a poor excuse for a home.
But right now, our current living arrangements were the very last thing on my mind.
Reruns of Curb Your Enthusiasm played on the television, but I had no idea what Larry David or Ted Danson was saying.
I couldn’t focus on anything but my racing thoughts.
Yesterday, I’d found out I was pregnant.
Twenty-four hours ago, I’d gone from a woman who was trying to hold it all together while grieving the death of her sister, to a woman who was pregnant and trying to hold it all together while grieving the death of her sister.
I had so many thoughts, so many fucking emotions filling me up that I didn’t know what or how to feel.
I was definitely anxious.
I mean, was I ready to be a mom? Was I ready to be responsible for another human being? Was the timing of this pregnancy going to be too hard for me to deal with emotionally? My heart was still so vulnerable, so fragile since I’d lost my sister.
But, deep down, I was also excited.
Levi and I were going to have a baby. A little person that we created, albeit completely accidentally, but still created all the same.
And it was actually those emotions that were the hardest.
They made me feel guilty.
They filled me up with so much joy, and then that joy turned into feeling bad about being this happy. I wasn’t sure if I was allowed to be this happy when I didn’t have Camilla.
My sister wasn’t here.
I couldn’t share the news with her.
I couldn’t watch and hear her reaction when I told her I was pregnant.
I couldn’t tell her all of my hopes and fears.
She was gone, and it felt like there would always be a part of me that would remain a little bit lost without her.
Sadness and guilt and grief hit me all at once, and I blinked against the emotion that threatened to spill out from my eyes.
God, I miss Camilla.
Sometimes, at random times during the day, I’d see or hear or think about something that would remind me of her, and it would make my heart ache so badly.
Levi pulled me tighter to his side and kissed the side of my forehead. “It’s going to be okay, baby,” he whispered. “And just remember, whatever you’re feeling right now, it’s okay. You’re allowed to feel what you feel. If you’re happy, be happy. If you’re sad, be sad. If you’re both, be both. Just know I’m here.”
Sometimes, I wondered if he could read my mind. We were so attuned to one another it was uncanny, and still, it took me by surprise.
I turned to look at him, and when I locked my gaze with his eyes, they were endless blue oceans of nothing but love and comfort and solace. Levi’s eyes were like my own little slice of serenity inside a world of chaos.
He’d become my savior.
The man I could always rely on.
Thank God, thank everything, for him.
“Thank you,” I whispered.
“For what?” he asked and quirked a curious brow.
“For saying exactly what I needed you to say right now.”
He responded with a gentle kiss to my mouth, and I sighed against his soft lips.
But I only had mere moments to savor the comfort he provided because a minute or two later, a few soft knocks echoed off the front door.
I looked at Levi, and he looked at me.
“I guess it’s time, huh?”
“Yeah, baby,” he said and stood to his feet. “It’s time,” he called over his shoulder as he went to the door.
He greeted the doctor in the entry, and I eventually found the strength to get off the couch and meet the woman who would be confirming my pregnancy.
“Hi,” I said and held out my hand once the doctor stepped into the small living room area with a large black wheeling suitcase rolling behind her. “I’m Ivy Stone.”
She smiled and shook my hand. “It’s so nice to meet you, Ivy. I’m Dr. Macintosh.”
The doctor was all business in a black pantsuit and white silk blouse. Her jet-black hair was pulled up into a chignon, and her makeup was pretty much impeccable. She was very pretty, and her brown eyes told me she was also very honest and sweet.
You could tell so much from someone’s eyes. When I’d first met Levi, I’d known those midnight-blue eyes had held secrets and pain. But I’d also known there was more to him. So much more and I had been desperate to find it.
“Thank you for coming on such short notice, and to our hotel room, at that,” Levi said, and Dr. Macintosh smiled.
“Of course,” she responded with a nod. “I understand the need for privacy. Especially for the two of you right now.” She looked at me, and her brown eyes turned soft. “And, Ivy, I’d like to offer my heartfelt condolences. I’m so sorry about the loss of your sister.”
“Thank you. That means a lot.”
Somehow, someway, hearing those kinds of words got easier.
Rather than pain and irritation, I just felt accepting and maybe even a little thankful for them.
“Well, are you ready to get started?” she asked, and I nodded.
“Would it be best to do this in the bedroom or…?”
“The bedroom will work just fine,” she answered, and I led the way while Levi and the doctor followed.
Once we stepped inside, she got right down to business, and he sat down in one of the chairs near the large window.
Dr. Macintosh started unpacking her black suitcase with all kinds of medical equipment, and I swallowed hard against the anxiety threatening to claw its way out of my chest and up my throat.
“So, you took a pregnancy test yesterday, and it was positive?” she asked, and for lack of anything better to do, I sat down on the edge of the bed while she finished getting set up.
“Yes.”
“And when was your last period?”
“Um…” I worried my lip with my teeth. “I think it’s been two months, but honestly, I’m not very sure.”
“And were you on any type of birth control?”
“Well, I was on the pill, but I had to go off of it several months ago because of the side effects. We used condoms…sometimes…but I hadn’t figured out a replacement hormonal method yet.”
Dr. Macintosh nodded like she understood—like she understood precisely how I’d gotten pregnant. Sex wasn’t like the lottery. Unless Levi was shooting blanks, unprotected sex meant a hell of a lot bigger than a one in fourteen million chance of getting pregnant. “And this is your first pregnancy, correct?”
“Correct.”
“Okay, Ivy,” she instructed and set a paper gown on the bed, near my hip. “I want you to go into the bathroom and take off your clothes, bra and underwear included, and put this gown on. And while you’re doing that, I’ll put a plastic drape on the bed.”
I did as I was told, and five minutes later, I was lying on our hotel room bed while Dr. Macintosh started her exam.
“Any nausea or vomiting?” she asked and I nodded.
“Definitely nausea a
nd a little bit of vomiting too.”
“Breast tenderness?”
“Yes.”
“Okay, good,” she said, and I didn’t necessarily agree those were good things, but I just went with it. “Now, I’m going to do a quick vaginal exam on you before we do an ultrasound.”
“Okay,” I said quietly and looked to the side to find Levi staring over at me. I grimaced a little as she started to examine me, more from the coldness of the lubricant she had used than anything else, but also just the fact that some woman I’d met all of twenty minutes ago currently had her hand all up inside my vagina.
I mean, I was probably being a little dramatic, but this wasn’t exactly a heavenly, feel-good, kind of moment.
Levi stood up from his chair and moved over to the bed to sit beside me. He reached out and clasped my hand in his, gently running his thumbs over my skin in soothing circles.
“Your cervix is definitely closed,” Dr. Macintosh said.
“Is that good?” I asked and she smiled.
“When it comes to a pregnancy, yes, it’s a good thing,” she answered and finished up the vaginal exam.
She stood up from the bed and slipped off her latex gloves before stepping into the bathroom to wash her hands for a brief moment.
“Now, I’m going to do a vaginal ultrasound. It is similar to the vaginal exam I just did, only this time, I’m going to insert this probe inside of you so that I can see inside your uterus.” She held up the probe, and my eyes went a little wide.
“Is it going to hurt?”
She shook her head. “It’s not painful. If anything, you’ll just feel some pressure.”
I took a deep breath and prepared myself for another invasion of my most personal space.
Once she set up the portable ultrasound machine on the nightstand, she slipped on another pair of latex gloves and proceeded to gently slide the large probe inside of me.
Pressure? Oh my. It was there. Oh boy, was it there.
She moved the probe around, and I cringed a little at the increased force.
“Oh wow,” she said as she looked at the screen.
Oh wow? What does that mean?
“Does everything look okay?” I asked, and Levi sat up straight, worry revealing itself in his blue eyes.
“Yes, but I have some news for you,” Dr. Macintosh said and looked at me and then at Levi.
My heart dropped out of my body.
Oh God, was the test wrong?
Had I taken a faulty test, and I wasn’t even pregnant?
“I’m not pregnant?” The words just flew from my lips, and Dr. Macintosh smiled.
“You are definitely pregnant,” she said, and I breathed a sigh of relief. “And from the looks of it, you’re going to have twins.”
Oh, thank God.
Wait…what?
“Hold on…what did you say?” I damn near shouted. “What do you mean twins?”
“Well…” she said and paused for a brief moment to turn a knob on the ultrasound machine. “Do you hear that?” she asked, and a soft and speedy bum-bum-bum filled my ears.
“Yes.”
“That’s your baby’s heartbeat. And this,” she said and moved the probe a little. “Well, this is your other baby’s heartbeat.”
“Two heartbeats?” Levi questioned with wide-as-saucer eyes.
“Yep.” She smiled. “Two heartbeats. Two babies.”
Two babies? As in, two babies growing inside of me? At the same freaking time?
“Congratulations, Levi and Ivy. It looks like you’re nine, maybe even ten weeks pregnant with twins.”
I looked at Levi, and his shocked blue gaze locked with mine.
“Twins?” I mouthed, and he blinked several times, but then after a few seconds, a small, happy little smile crested his lips.
“We sure as fuck don’t do anything half-assed, do we?” he asked, voice equal parts shocked and amused.
My eyes wide, I couldn’t stop a giggle from escaping my lips.
“Apparently not.”
July 8th, 2016
Ivy and I had been back in Cold, Montana for two days, and the instant our plane had landed, I felt like we’d been going nonstop.
It was a much-needed trip, though.
I’d needed to give Chief Pulse my official notice. Sure, I could have done it over the phone, but it was something I wanted to do in person. He’d been like a father to me, and I had to tell him the news that I’d be permanently staying with Ivy on the West Coast face-to-face.
I’d needed to make sure things were running smoothly at Ruby Jane’s.
I’d wanted to catch up with all of the important people that were a huge part of my life in Cold. Jeremy and Liza and the girls, Sam, Mary, and so many others. It was a surprisingly long list for a guy who had spent the better part of the past nearly seven years striving to avoid anything that made him feel too much.
And I’d needed to make sure the seventeen-year-old kid I’d hired to watch over my house and keep my yard up to snuff was doing what he should.
Not to mention, I needed to figure out what in the fuck I was going to do with this big-ass house since I wouldn’t be living in Montana anymore.
It felt weird selling it, and I sure as fuck didn’t need the money from it, but it also felt stupid for it to stay empty.
Instantly, I thought about Jeremy and his family.
I knew Liza loved her little house on the outskirts of town, but I also knew they were running out of space. Surely, Jeremy would put up a fight, but I’d have to find a way to convince him. Not to mention, they could sell their house, and instead of having to put the profit toward a new mortgage, they could just put that money away for the girls’ college fund.
I made a mental note to put that on my to-do list before we left.
And then I made a mental note to block out three or more spots on the to-do list at the least. It was going to be a hard sell, and I suspected it wouldn’t be the kind of thing that went quickly. Jeremy was the type of guy who liked to work for everything he got, but I’d just have to find a way to make him think he was doing me a favor more than anything else.
Once I slipped on my boots, I checked the time and realized we needed to haul ass if we wanted to be at Sam’s place by noon.
“You ready, baby?” I called toward the bathroom. I stepped over the threshold of the master en suite and found Ivy standing inside my bathroom, fidgeting with her hair and frowning.
“Once I figure out something to do with my hair,” she said and picked up a brush to run it through her still blond locks. “Rat’s nests have looked better than this mess on my head.”
“You’re crazy, baby. You look incredibly gorgeous.”
She rolled her eyes. “I appreciate the compliment, but you don’t understand because you’re a man.”
I chuckled at that. “What’s me being a man have to do with how your hair looks?”
“Because men don’t get the kind of maintenance that is required to a be girl. Your daily routine consists of brushing your teeth and taking a fucking shower. And that’s literally it.”
“Sometimes I have to shave.”
“Ohh man. Alert the freaking media,” she said with a sarcastic little grin.
“And sometimes I have to watch you change your outfit fifteen times,” I teased, and her face morphed into a glare. “That is also a large part of my routine.”
She turned those fiery green eyes away from the mirror and onto me. “Don’t start with me today, Fox,” she said and pointed her brush at my face. “I spent the first two hours of my morning puking. And then another hour trying to force breakfast down my throat despite feeling like a motion-sick sailor in a hurricane.”
Nearly four months pregnant with identical twins and Ivy was deeply in the trenches of what most would call morning sickness. Although, lately, it appeared it was all-day sickness.
She puked more than a hungover frat kid.
I held up both hands and relinquished the unwin
nable battle that was dealing with a hormonal, pregnant Ivy. She lived her life on a hair trigger these days, and ironically, today, the trigger seemed to be hair. “Listen, you take all the time you need. I’ll give Sam a call and let him know we’re running a little late.”
“What time is it?”
“Quarter till noon.”
“We’re supposed to be there at noon!” she exclaimed, and I wanted to point out that was exactly why I was in here trying to get her to stop worrying about her hair, but I preferred to keep my balls intact, thank you very much.
So, instead, I just stared back at her with the most neutral expression I could force on to my face. “Well, I’m sure Sam will understand. Do you want me to tell him we’ll be there at 12:30?”
She sighed, tossing her hair into a high ponytail with quick hands, her long blond locks hanging down her back in gorgeous waves.
How this woman could ever think she was anything less than beautiful was beyond me.
“All right,” she said and tossed the brush back onto the counter. “I guess this will just have to do. I don’t want to make Sam wait any longer.”
She strode out of the bathroom and slipped on little black flats.
I followed her lead out of the bedroom and into the living room, and as I watched her grab her purse from the kitchen counter, I marveled at the fact that she had the teeniest hint of a baby belly showing beneath her tank top.
Just the idea of it made me grin, and I couldn’t stop myself from stepping toward her and placing my hand on her belly.
“W-what are you doing?” She looked up at me, eyes narrowed in confusion, but I just smiled down at her like she was my whole fucking world.
Because, God, Ivy Stone was my whole fucking world.
We’d been through so fucking much.
We’d had to deal with so much.
But one constant had always remained—I loved this woman madly.
The fact that she was pregnant with my kids filled me up with so much joy, sometimes it felt like my heart was going to explode out of my chest.
I squatted down, and with both hands on her barely showing belly, I pressed my lips against it. “Hi, babies,” I whispered and stared up at Ivy. “I hope you’re nice and cozy in there.”