by Paul Kater
Troy made a remark about how glad she should be with all the male presence. Daniel frowned at that. Wilma was not a pretty woman, but he was certain she was good for her job, and that was what counted. Phil, one of the others, beat Daniel to pointing that out to Troy and then they moved to a rather large room where they awaited Burt's arrival.
Burt was an amiable character, Daniel decided at the end of the day. The trainer was a Rebuilt himself, and knew exactly where most of the pains were.
"I've been training Rebuilts since four years, Daniel. I've seen just about any problem that can come up. Now that does not mean I've seen them all. After all, everyone is different and there is no way anyone can predict how someone deals with being Rebuilt. So if there is anything that you are worried about, or you just need someone to talk to, don't wait. Come to me." Burt was sincere towards Daniel, as he was towards everyone. "And that goes for wanting to cry also."
Daniel looked at his trainer in surprise. These last words surprised him. "Beg your pardon?"
Burt nodded, still sincere. "I mean that. It's not that I expect you to break down and come sobbing, but I do want you to know that you can come to me if you have problems. And also Wilma is able to guide you. She's had a psychological training for helping people with emotional trauma, and together we worked out how we can fine-tune that for Rebuilt people."
That was something Daniel had not expected. "Oh. Right." Something in his face betrayed his thoughts.
"What's up, Daniel? Spit it out." Burt waited.
"It's just that... uhm... it's just rumours, I guess." Daniel shook his head, embarrassed that he had been so obvious. The rumours were very untrue.
"What rumours?" Burt did not let Daniel get away like that.
"Things that people say. About Rebuilts."
Burt nodded. "Tell me about them."
"You've probably heard them before." Daniel felt awkward. This did not strike him as military stuff.
"So tell me again, Daniel."
"We used to joke that Rebuilts are robots. Cybord. A kind of humanoid machines." Daniel felt ashamed about that now.
Burt grinned. "Oh. That. Forget that, Daniel, that's an old hat. Point is that high command does not want too much integration of regular folk and us Rebuilts. Their reason for that is that regular soldiers will start to feel inferior when they are around us too much, since we're different. And yes, it is because they are think we are better," Burt spoke out Daniel's thought.
Daniel nodded. "Yeah, I can see where that comes from." With two fingers he lifted the table, just for a few moments.
"Daniel? Don't." Burt's voice sounded commanding. It had to be obeyed. "Don't fall into that trap, boy. You're way too smart for that."
Daniel did not feel like he was falling into something, though. He felt as if he had already gone in, head over Rebuilt heels. "I'll be fine, Burt. Thanks for the talk."
"I don't believe a word of that, but I'll be easy on you today, Daniel. Now go get some food in yourself and try to relax. There is another day tomorrow, you'll do and feel better by then."
"I take it that's an order?" Daniel asked as he got up.
"No. Take that as a promise." Burt got up also and put a hand on Daniel's shoulder, with surprising gentleness. "The first days are always the hardest. It's tough dealing with a world that's gone upside down, but you are doing great."
"Hmm. Doesn't feel like that, Burt." Daniel shook his head to emphasise his feelings.
"Let me tell you, Daniel, that you will make it. I always worry about the boys that act as if nothing happened, as if they can pick up their life as if they only suffered a flesh wound. Now get your butt out of here."
Daniel grinned. "Yes sir." After a mock salute he left the room.
-=-=-
In the mess he met Phil. His fellow trainee was sitting alone at a table. "Mind if I join you?" Daniel asked.
"No. Please do."
Daniel took a seat and got ready to eat. "Why aren't you sitting with Troy and Ludo?"
Phil grinned wryly. "Same reason you don't, I think. They're too loud. Not many people like them." He glanced over at the table where the two others sat, near a window, a full line of empty tables between them and the rest of the star base personnel. "Ludo's okay, really, he just gets influenced by Troy too much."
Daniel nodded, he had noticed that too. Just this first day had taught him a lot about the three others already. "Maybe we should try and get Ludo away from Troy," he said.
"Maybe," Phil shrugged. "Never really tried. Not sure what Troy will do."
"We'll just have to prevent him from being able to do something. Occupy him," Daniel thought out loud. As he glanced over to the table with the subjects of their talk, he uncomfortably realised that there were also a lot of empty tables between Phil and him and the others.
"Sucks, doesn't it?" Phil also seemed to be able to read his mind. "We all notice that sooner or later. Old friendships suddenly don't seem to count anymore once you're Rebuilt."
Daniel slowly nodded. He thought back to meeting Christian, just a few days ago. Chris had been friendly and had agreed to stay in touch, but had not responded to the two messages Daniel had sent, wishing him well with the surgery and recovery. Received. Not replied.
"We've all been there, Daniel. It gets better after a while."
"I guess. I hope that 'whiles' are short then."
"Uh-oh..." Phil said. The reason became clear quickly as Troy walked up to their table.
"Hey, Daniel. Why are you joining the lonely crew? Plenty of seats where Ludo and me are."
"I'm good here, Troy. Thanks for asking though," Daniel replied to the Rebuilt man.
"Good? Did you notice that's Phil?" Troy raised his voice to an unnecessary volume. He had a loud voice to start with, so now he wanted to make sure he'd be heard by everyone.
"Come on, Troy," said Daniel, "no need for this. We're eating."
"Yeah. I see that. I do hope you enjoy sitting together, girls." With that the man turned and walked back to his table, wiggling his hips in a very stupid way.
"Asshole," Phil muttered.
"I heard that, Phyllis," Troy said without turning back to them. The ears of a Rebuilt were quite a lot better than those of regular people, after all.
"Let him," Daniel said, not caring if Troy heard him or not. "He's not worth the air you spend on that."
"I know. He just pisses me off so easily," Phil grumbled.
"And he knows that. You provide him with far too much wood to light his fire. Don't. Ignore him. Be correct and no more." Daniel turned back to his food. He knew that Troy would be mocking them. And Ludo would play along with the game, as he apparently had no desire to resist Troy.
"Let's just hope he's leaving us soon. Goes on a mission. Far away." Phil then fell silent again also.
Daniel agreed with Phil in the same silence.
After dinner, Daniel went for a walk around the less populated part of the base. He needed some time to clear his head, get things in the right perspective. He was happy with Burt being his trainer. That man was someone he would never have expected in this situation. Not only was he a Rebuilt also, he truly seemed to understand people.
He reached the Glass Dome, a place that was originally designed to be an observatory. Only after completion the smart folks had discovered it was looking at the wrong side of the constellation. As the place had been built, it had been left there, and a new Dome had been built at the right place. This now was a place where a person could feel alone. Daniel loved coming to the Glass Dome. Usually there was nobody here, there was nothing that obstructed one's vision, and it was quiet.
He sat down, his back against the wall, and stared up at the stars and the few odd and uninhabitable planets that were visible from there. From that place he thought about Troy, Ludo and Phil. Troy, he decided, was probably one of the types that Burt would worry about. He was nothing but loud, bragging and too carefree about being a Rebuilt. Maybe it was worth looking up why
Troy had been Rebuilt; there had to be something about him that warranted that. Ludo... now there was a character Daniel could not see through. The man was okay, struck him as reliable. But only without the likes of Troy around. An overwhelming personality would swipe Ludo off his feet and take over his thinking. A dangerous trait. Phil was a good man. Too short a fuse at times, Daniel considered, judging how easily Troy could anger him.
"Hey, sailor," a voice pulled Daniel from his ponderings. It was Rhonda, in her eternal camouflage. "Mind if I come sit here also?"
"No, do sit," Daniel said.
Rhonda asked how he was doing. How the first real day had gone by. And if he had any questions about his new body. "Not the kind that your trainer can answer, of course."
He had none.
Rhonda smiled. She pulled a cable from her pocket. "Gosh. Now look what I found here." She slipped one end in Daniel's hand.
3. It just sucks
Daniel wiped sweat from his forehead. Yes, he had found out that Rebuilts could sweat just fine. Bactine was no cure for that. For the ninth time he worked over the drill that Burt had given him to tackle. He was hanging from a rope, holding on with one hand, carrying a mock-up of a seventy lbs rocket destroyer unit in the other hand. The artificial gravity had been cranked up to a sweet five times regular atmosphere. The objective of this training was to let go of the rope and grab one that was swinging beneath him, ninety feet lower, while not losing the destroyer in the attempt. So far he had managed to miss the lower cable and lose the rocket destroyer most times. Only once he'd gotten the cable, dropping the destroyer, and twice he had ended up on the floor one hundred and twenty feet below, the destroyer next to him. Hooray for Bactine bodies. At least they could take a beating like that without a problem.
"Daniel. Concentrate. This is easy, just do it." Burt's voice sounded in his head. The Bactine body had been equipped with short range radio so communication could be established without the need for external gadgets.
"Damn you, Burt, it's not easy. It's confusing as hell." Daniel blinked and shook his head. The sweat was seeping in his eyes, which was annoying enough. Things got even more complicated as his electronic eye kept displaying gobsmacks of readout that he should be able to take advantage of. Instead of being helpful however, the numbers and graphs obstructed his vision. He blamed that for missing the lower cable so often: the jumps in his eye distracted him.
"What's the problem, Daniel? Things should be clear, not confusing."
Daniel reported what bothered him.
"Damn. You're one of those," Burt said. "Hang on."
"Sure, I'm comfortable here." Daniel grinned to himself as he considered his situation. He'd never been squeamish, but he was certain that this would have made him feel lousy in a matter of seconds, in his old physical state.
A few minutes later Daniel heard Burt's voice again. "Give it one more try, Daniel. Last go. I've arranged that your optical info-stream will be reduced. If that still doesn't work, we'll have it shut down completely."
"Can't they switch it off remotely?" Daniel wanted to know. They couldn't. "That's technology for you," he mumbled. He gave it one more try, as well as he could.
On his way down he focussed on the wire that he was supposed to grab. Everything was going well, until a graph jumped up in his eye that elaborated on the optimal speed of reach, a countdown that showed him when to reach, and the estimated g-force his body would be taking on a successful grab. Daniel missed the rope and had plenty of time to finish thinking a nasty word before he smashed into the ground once more.
A graph popped up for a few seconds, informing him on the force of impact, as well as a rapid run-down of the result of the automatic systems check that had been performed. He had seen those enough for one day.
The gravity was brought down again, then Burt came in. "That looked painful, Daniel. Go see Jan or Rhonda at the medical bay, they'll adjust the opticals for you." The trainer picked up the battered destroyer mock-up. "If you do that to your enemies, I'll be satisfied." He grinned.
Daniel forced a grin out also as he got up. There was nothing wrong with his body, he decided. Optical displays were one thing, personal confirmation and the absence of pain still was better. "Okay, Burt. Thank you. When do you expect me back?"
"Oh, try to make it somewhere this afternoon, after lunch. Then we'll try this one again."
Daniel sighed. "Okay." Then he walked off to change. His practice clothes bore the signs of the suffering his body had endured.
Rhonda was not at the medical bay. Jan Reynolds, her second in command, greeted Daniel. "Hello there, how are we today?"
"I've seen better days," Daniel grumbled. He sat down in the chair that Jan pointed at.
"And worse?" Jan inquired as she took a small device and pressed it against his temple.
"I guess. Getting shot to bits is not great, that's true." The number of readouts in his eye went down from eight to three.
"Here, is that better?" Jan asked as she put the device to the side.
"Better. Still not great. Can't you get rid of all that stuff for me?"
"I can, but I only have orders for what I just shut down." Jan shrugged. "Sorry."
Daniel nodded. "Okay. Thanks for that anyway, it's already less annoying." He was certain that Rhonda would have shut the whole display down no matter what.
"It's really bad, isn't it?" Jan sat down next to him. "I'm not a Rebuilt, Daniel, I don't know what it is like. But if you want to talk about it I am willing to listen."
"That's kind of you, Jan. Thank you for the offer. I think it is something I have to work out on my own though. It's my body, my life, my- future." Just in time he had replaced the word 'fate'.
"Okay. My offer stands though," said the nurse, getting up again. She patted him on the shoulder. "Good luck, Daniel."
"Thank you, Jan." Daniel blinked a few times. Better. Somewhat. He left the nurse and walked around a bit, ending up in his quarters, staring out the window. He wondered if high command had made a smart move by saving him. Perhaps he was not the kind to become a Rebuilt. Perhaps he'd been better off dead, blown to bits by Qurgon pirates. He did not recall any pain, just the lights from their weapons. It should have been a quick and merciful death.
In his mind he pictured the memorial service that would have been held in his honour. He tried to envision who would be there. His sister, certainly, with whatever person was her present boyfriend or -girl at. And his brother, with his wife and children. Provided, Daniel thought bitterly, he could be bothered to get away from some executive board meeting. Malcolm really fit in with these tight-assed white-collared idiots.
Flashes of the past came to Daniel. He heard the voice of his brother again.
"I can always get you a job in our company, dear brother." Malcolm had just gotten a good position in a firm then, and rubbed it in Daniel's face as often as he could.
After yet another rejection for a job, Daniel had mentioned his intention to join the army, the space forces to his brother. That was something he regretted until this day. It also had strengthened his decision to join the space forces. And he had gotten in there on the first attempt.
Cynthia had been thrilled for him. His sister had written him a real paper letter, in her minute handwriting. He had saved it, still had it. Daniel smiled as he thought of it. That was so much more valuable than the sneer of his younger brother. "Not much of a start, is it? They accept everyone clearly."
Daniel turned away from the window. "Damn you, Malcolm. Why are you haunting me now?" His anger flared up, and he hated it.
The Rebuilt man skipped lunch and headed back to the training room with the ropes and the ghastly gravity. "Burt?"
"Right here, Daniel. Early lunch today?"
"No lunch. Jan turned down the mess in my eye and I want to do this. No. I am going to do this."
"Right on, Daniel. Get the remains of your rocket destroyer, get yourself up there and we'll give it a go."
Daniel pic
ked up the smashed-up box and got hauled up to one hundred and seventy feet. "Ready when you are."
"Jump at will. I'll swing the rope when you're off."
Daniel didn't even think. He jumped and reached the first stationary rope, twenty feet lower, without a problem. Hanging from one arm he kept an eye on the motion of the rope below him, and at the right time he dove down to it. He couldn't miss it.
He missed. The rope wasn't where he'd expected it. The thud he heard as he hit the floor almost washed out the loud twang that came from overhead.
"Sorry, Daniel. The bloody swing-trigger malfunctioned. You were looking good there, though."