by Paul Kater
"Yes. And so am I," Daniel said. "You need not fear the Kotrvayk as long as you do nothing strange or threatening."
"I see. You said you want answers. Ask me your questions."
Daniel grinned. "Let's begin with a simple one. Who are you?"
The dark shape seemed to hesitate for a few moments. "I had expected that question, just later." Slowly a hand was raised and the strange face filter was removed. The hood fell over the face hidden underneath it. The face filter was dropped to the ground and rolled away.
Kernak stood calmly. Daniel was tensing up.
The figure slowly pushed the hood back.
Daniel stared. "You?"
"Yes. Me." Rayko looked him in the eye. "Who had you expected?"
"Beats me, but not you."
Kernak slowly walked over to Rayko and nudged the woman's hand with her head. Rayko didn't even seem to notice, so focussed as she was on Daniel. Gently she scratched the head.
"I don't get it," Daniel said, truthfully. "You were the person who knocked me out with that stick in the park? You proposed getting in the way of your father?"
"Yes. And yes." Rayko picked up the face filter. "Would you mind holding this while I take off this hot cloak?" She walked over to him, Kernak in her wake, and held up the filter.
Daniel took it from her hand and watched how she dropped the black cloak to the ground.
She stood on a very skilfully made construction that made her look taller, wearing her own shoes in it. She held on to Daniel's arm as she unclipped the buckles that held her feet strapped onto the platforms. "Ahhh. That is so much better." She rolled up the cloak and put the platforms in it. Clearly she had done that more often.
Daniel looked at Rayko, as she looked up at him. "It's really you, right? The woman that kicked my shins at the party, and who was so stubborn on the ship?"
"I kicked your shins, yes, and I still don't regret that. And I was not stubborn!"
"Yes, it's you alright."
"Arghh. You are still the same too. Now, when are you going to ask me to walk up to the house of the senator with you? This cloak is heavy." She groped at the black mass that had started to slip from her hands. "Not much of a gentleman, are we..."
"By the winds, give that to me then." Daniel lifted the cloak and the platforms from her hand. "And yes, let's go to the senator's house." He remembered something. He closed his eyes and breathed deeply. "I'm sorry, Rayko. Would you please walk to the house with me?"
Rayko looked at Daniel. This time it was her turn to be surprised. "Yes. I'd love to, Daniel."
They started walking, Kernak between them. They both rested a hand on the hard hairy fur of the animal's back.
"So, why did you call me on that evening after I had left the party?" Daniel asked. "And how did you get the number of my hydger?"
"Getting your number was easy. I just copied it from my father's device. And I have an unregistered hydger." Rayko was silent for a moment. "I thought you would be the right person to help. Especially after what you said at the party." She looked down at the ground, so Daniel could not see her red cheeks.
"What I said at the party? We were just trying to leave each other's throat where it fit best, if I recall correctly."
"I uhm... I did something rather unladylike, Daniel." She looked at him, her cheeks still red. "When you were talking to the senator, I was sitting in a chair behind the conifers behind you. So I heard everything." She blushed even deeper. "I'm sorry now, Daniel. I heard so much of you."
Daniel grew more and more confused. This all was entirely not the way he had imagined the encounter with the cloaked person would unfold. "But why? I mean, eavesdropping is not a nice thing, but I can live with that. Why did you call me?"
"When I was on the boat that time-"
"Ship."
She laughed. "Yes. On the ship. In the wall I found a loose board or so, and behind it I found a lot of small packages. I took one and when I was back home, I found someone who could tell me what it contained."
"Drugs," Daniel knew.
"Yes. I showed them to my... father."
Daniel stopped dead in his tracks. "Oh no. Tell me you didn't."
Rayko stopped also, Kernak did too. "I did. I said I had found the drugs and asked him why they were on the ship. He said it was none of my business and I should stop bothering him about it."
"That was it?" Daniel could not believe that. Not after what he had learnt about that man.
Rayko hesitated and started walking again. Daniel joined her, as did the Kotrvayk. "No. He told me something more then. He told me that he had contact with that pirate, Birkle something. And he had told that pirate not to attack the ship on that voyage because I was on board."
Again Daniel was tempted to stand still. "He did that? And he told you? Why didn't you tell someone? You could have told me."
"Who would have believed me? You? Would you even have taken the time to listen to me? We did not exactly part as the best of friends at the soirée, Daniel."
He had to agree with that.
"And my... father was powerful. He threatened me. He said I would get into serious problems if I were to tell anyone about this. I knew I would. Well... you know."
"Now there is a threat to seriously be scared of," Daniel said. "He has surprised me in more than one way."
They were silent for a while, as the road started to climb more steeply for a while.
"That is why I invented the man in the black cloak," Rayko said, "as that looked like a way I could get in touch with people without anyone noticing it was me. I think it worked pretty well."
"You had me fooled until you showed your face, I have to give you that."
"I really wanted you to help me, Daniel, but I could not do it any other way. I hope you understand that." Her voice sounded almost begging. "I hoped you would go and save the people from the Pricosine, I bought the boat for that."
"You bought it, just for that?" Daniel was perplexed.
"Yes. I have some credits I can use, and I thought this was a good investment. Too bad it was too small," she sighed. "But I heard how you went and rescued them." Rayko looked at Daniel and there was a clear hint of admiration in her expression. "I was so happy about that, Daniel. Really, I was. But it was so painful to hear how many people died..." Her voice dropped to a mere whisper as she said that.
The memory of that jumped Daniel and he too fell silent. Without saying a word they walked up the last part of the road to the house.
"Wait here for a moment, will you? I'll guide Kernak back into the garden first," Daniel said.
Rayko nodded, and watched how Daniel disappeared inside with the large animal. Kernak looked at her for a moment, before she followed Daniel.
Daniel opened the door again. "Please, come in." He let her in and soon they were in the small library. Daniel had stored the black cloak and what had come with it in his own room for the time being. "Would you like something to drink?" He was surprised that she had not complained about the long walk uphill.
"Yes, please. Tea would be nice," she said with a shy smile.
"Sit where you like. I'll go and arrange for some tea." Daniel left the room, and returned with two glasses of water. "Tea will done soon. I thought you would appreciate this."
"Oh. yes. Thank you." She accepted a glass and slowly sipped from it.
There was a tension in the room. They both were aware of it, and neither of them knew how to break through it for a while.
"You know, Daniel... I have talked to my mother. About... her husband."
Daniel was surprised that she referred to Clelem like that all of a sudden.
"He was not my real father, she said. And not Warlem's real father either." Rayko stared at the glass, as if there was something fascinating going on inside it.
"Excuse me, please. Your tea," a servant said, who came in with the tea. Soon after, they were alone again.
"When my mother had told me that, there were many things I suddenly un
derstood about him," Rayko continued. "Most of the time he regarded me as property, or a thing, or something like that. And not just me. All of us."
Daniel nodded. He recalled the moment where Clelem had literally shoved her into his arms, without twitching a muscle. "Yes, I see that now as well. Maybe you can explain something to me now."
"What is it you want to know? I want to tell you what I know. You are entitled to know it."
Daniel picked up his teacup. "When you had disappeared, Warlem came to me and asked me to come and talk to your mother. When I was at your house, he showed me a recording of a person in a black cloak, who came to the house through the garden. It looked like... you. But you were the one kidnapped, so it could not have been you. How does that fit?"
"I wanted to go out of the house. I wanted to try and contact you. There were too many people in the house and I was afraid someone might hear me, so I changed into the cloak and left through the garden. But before I got to the side gate, I discovered people there too, so I had to back into the house again." Rayko wrapped her arms around herself, as if she was cold suddenly. "They took me away from the house that same evening."
61. The Litany of Nahmyo
Daniel saw a few tears in her eyes. "Rayko, are you feeling well?"
She looked at him. At first she wanted to nod bravely, but changed her mind. "No."
Daniel got up and sat down next to her, on the couch. He put an arm around her and pulled her close.
Rayko did not resist. She leaned into him and started to sob. "It was a big man, Daniel. He put something in my face. Before I lost consciousness I saw Gaguran Slindris come into my room." She started crying, her body shaking as the memories came back to her. "Then I woke up and I was tied up and in that dark place. Gaguran was there, and the big man, and a few others. I could not see them, but I heard them talk. They said that something would be going down soon, but I don't know what that was."
Daniel got the eerie feeling that she had no idea where she had been exactly, nor what had been the plan of her step-father. He gently rocked her. "It's all over now, Rayko. It is all behind you, like a bad dream. Slindris is gone. And your step-father is gone also. They can't hurt you anymore."
The woman reached for his free hand and held it. "I know. But it hurts in such a strange way." Most of her tears had stopped flowing now. "I always saw him as my father, and then he abused me like that. He wanted to kill me, didn't he?" Her voice had gone into a whisper.
"I'm afraid so, Rayko. And I'm sorry for that. Really." Daniel felt pain for her, as she had gone through all that. She was not the kind of person that should have to face things like that, but some bizarre twist of fate had made it happen.
"Sometimes there are things in a life," he suddenly heard himself say, "that throw everything you know upside down. It is then when you have to find the trust in yourself, and in the harmony that is the world around you. Nothing happens without a reason. Usually we don't know the reasons, but things happen. We can fight them but we can't beat them if they are meant to come true, Rayko."
Daniel felt as if someone was speaking through his voice, and yet... the things he said made sense to himself. For a momentary flash he was back on the hill, in the night, where he had talked with Lundar.
Rayko, her face pressed against Daniel's shirt, nodded somewhat. "Yes." Her fingers were entangled in Daniel's.
"It is good to grieve over what you have lost," Daniel heard himself say. "A part of your life has been shattered, destroyed, taken away from you. But it is not the meaning of life that you linger there, and cry over the loss forever. At some point you will find the courage and the strength to move on again."
Rayko lifted her face to Daniel. "You are a preacher, Daniel, and never again tell me that you are not." Slowly she let go of his fingers and raised her hand, to touch his cheek. "And how do you feel, Daniel Zacharias? Much of your life has been destroyed also. When do you take the time to cry, to feel the pain and the loss?"
Confused about this sudden change in her, Daniel reached up and took her hand. She did not want to take it off his cheek, though, so he held his hand there, over hers. "No," he said, "don't."
"Yes, Daniel. I have to, because I can feel it inside you. You are here for me, after all that happened. And I want to be here for you. After all that happened. Please... let me. Look at me." Rayko knew what she was doing, and that it was the right thing to do.
As his eyes found hers, he seemed to lock up inside. There was something in her gaze that made it impossible for him to look away. There was a gentleness, a caring, a true desire to help him in her eyes, something he had never seen before.
As she looked into Daniel's eyes and saw something happening inside him, Rayko slowly moved away from under his arm and kneeled next to him on the couch, now holding both his hands.
Daniel barely noticed her move.
"Daniel... please listen to me..." Rayko spoke in a very calm voice, as low as she could. "I really don't know what you have been through. And it is not for me to know. But you know. You told me a few things, and they felt painful to me. You had a lot of hardship since you came here. I know you almost died. Twice. Please, Daniel, if you can, tell me about how you feel."
Rayko felt a slight tremble in his hands. "Very good, Daniel. Just let it flow. Show me who you are, Daniel Zacharias." She was not now just a young woman, she now was the preacher. The roles had switched.
Daniel closed his eyes. Despite that, he was still looking in Rayko's deep brown eyes. A few small tears escaped from his eyes and slowly rolled down his cheeks.
"It is all well, Daniel," Rayko whispered.
"It's not," he whispered back. "I should not cry."
"Yes. You should. There is pain buried inside you too, Daniel. You have to let it out. Go through it one more time. Then leave it behind you. You have nothing to be afraid of, you are here, with me. I will guide you." Rayko closed her eyes and clenched her teeth as Daniel squeezed her hands hard for a moment. He was so strong.
Daniel did not want to cry. He did not want that weakness. He'd never had it, and he'd always been fine without it. But there was something in the words Rayko said, something in the tone of her voice, that poked at a hidden place deep inside him. It took away a veil and showed him a shimmer of it. Something that was lurking in the depths of his soul, in the place where he was hiding all his fears. All his pains. It was a place he did not want to go to.
"I can't," he whispered, barely audible.
"You can," Rayko said. "You must. Because it is better for you. It will make you feel light inside, Daniel. Please, listen to my voice. Go to the place that you are facing. The place you fear." She could tell by his face where he was going. Her studies and trainings in the philosophy had taught her how to interpret the signs, and so she knew, even with this man that was not from here and yet seemed to belong. Gently talking to him, supporting him, and guiding him through the trance she had put on him, she helped Daniel to enter the place he did not dare to face.
There were large shadows hanging over Daniel. Shadows the size of mountains. Dragons, fears twice their size, and they were waiting there for him. He found himself in a tunnel, its ceiling so high he could not see it. "I so very much do not want to be here," he whispered to himself.
"You are not alone," he heard a voice. It was the voice of a woman he knew. It was Rayko's voice. "But you will have to walk here yourself. I am holding your hands, do you feel it?"
Daniel was aware of her hands. It was so strange, he could hear her and feel her, but he could not see her. All he saw was the long tunnel, and its hidden dangers, the fears and the terrors lurking in the dark.
"You have to move on, Daniel," Rayko said. This was the difficult part. She could not see where he was, what he did, she just had to be there for him, and push him. The pushing was dangerous. Not too hard. Not too gentle. "Tell me, what is there to be afraid of, Daniel..."
The man in the tunnel saw the shadow of the operating table. The place where h
e had been taken to, after being shot up in space. "I don't want to die there, Rayko," he said, his voice coarse with fright. "It was not my fault they were there."
"But you did not die, Daniel. You lived. And you are still alive." Tears jumped into her eyes when he squeezed her hands again. "Now you have to move on again, Daniel."
Daniel tore his eyes from the shadow and started walking, deeper into the tunnel.
"Are you walking?"
"Yes... it is dark here..." He had not said it, or there was a flicker of light. Something that brought another shadow alive. It showed him his brother, Malcolm. "I see Malcolm. And his family."