“Hey.”
He touches my forehead and takes a deep breath. “A little better. You scared me.”
“How come?”
“You’ve been out of it for three days.”
“Really?”
“Your temperature was up to 104 and I didn’t know what to do. Dr. Karibu has been here twice a day and if he didn’t assure me you were coming out of it, I would’ve lost my mind.”
I swallow hard and realize just how dry my mouth is.
“Do you need water?”
I nod.
He leans over to his side of the bed and grabs a glass of ice water. A teapot is sitting next to that. He holds the water for me to sip and I drink it greedily. When I’m done, I lay my head back on the pillow, spent.
“The tea was real?”
“What?”
I motion toward the teapot.
“Oh, yeah. It’s supposed to help you get better faster. It doesn’t work fast enough, in my opinion.”
“You look tired…I hope you don’t get sick.”
“I have the immune system of a dragon.”
“I’m not familiar with the systems of dragons,” I whisper.
“God, I’ve missed you.” He grins.
“I need a bath.”
“I’ll go run the water. Bubbles?”
“Who are you?”
He laughs. “I’m really glad you’re feeling better. I-I thought I might lose you. You were so out of it. My family even seemed concerned.” His lips quirk up on one side and I smile in spite of myself. “Okay, water. I’ll be right back to help you in there.”
I feel like I’ve been hit by a truck. By the time he comes back in and says the water is ready, I’m rethinking getting up.
“I’m too tired,” I tell him, nestling deeper beneath the covers.
“You can rest in there. I’ll sit with you.”
I lift my head. “Nuh-uh. No. You—” I point at him weakly and shake my head.
“I’ve seen it all, remember? And I won’t cop a feel. Besides, there are enough bubbles in this bath to bury you, which is why I need to stay in there and make sure you’ve not devoured.”
“It’s like I woke up and you’re…an imposter. I don’t know what to do with this.”
He laughs like I have a sense of humor and I frown at him. He throws back the covers and I curl up.
“Come on, loosen up. Let me pick you up.”
I try to relax my body and he puts his arms underneath me and carries me to the bathroom. I vaguely remember him helping me to the bathroom the past few days and groan.
“Have you been in here while I go to the bathroom?” I shriek, albeit weakly.
“I feel the need to stress here that we are married.”
He sets me down by the toilet and I shoo him out of the room. “That’s not something you’ve ever wanted to admit, so I don’t know why it counts now.”
“This is how you sound from out here, blah-blah blah, blah-blah-blah-blah.”
I flush the toilet and wash my hands, brush my teeth, and remove the gown I know I wasn’t wearing when I went to bed a few days ago. I step into the bath and he knocks, coming in without waiting for permission.
“You were supposed to wait for help. You could’ve stumbled.”
I roll my eyes. “When I get my strength back, you will pay.”
He grins like he’s so pleased and then just as quickly sobers. “When you were so hot and shaking like crazy, mumbling off-the-wall things, I thought I’d give anything to hear your smart mouth, but now I’m questioning my thinking.” He picks up the shampoo. “Let me help you with your hair. You probably shouldn’t be up too long.”
I can’t argue with him there. I already feel too weak to make it back to bed.
“Hanna is putting clean sheets on your bed right now.” He pours water over my hair and scrubs my scalp. I close my eyes and enjoy the feeling of his hands on me. It feels wrong that I still crave his touch, but I do.
Every minute, it crosses my mind, how much I want him. How much I crave his touch. How I wish things were different.
I know it’s wrong, but it feels so right.
I’m limp when he’s done.
“Okay, sit up. I’ll help you wash.”
“I can do it,” I argue.
“You’re half asleep again. You do it, but if I hear too loud of a splash, I’m coming in.”
“God, even my mother wasn’t this much of a worrier.”
He stands up and turns his back to me, waving his hand behind his back for me to hurry and wash. I grumble and sit up, quickly soaping up everywhere. One of the splashes sounds extra loud because I’m trying to hurry and he turns slightly, looking over his shoulder.
“I’m fine,” I yelp. “So gonna pay,” I mumble under my breath.
“You are definitely better—the attitude is back.” He grabs a towel and holds it out, turning his head to the side and keeping his eyes on the ceiling. I step into it and wrap it around me and he swoops me back up.
“You can put me down.”
“Don’t wanna. I’ll hand you a new gown once you’re in bed.”
“I need something to dry my hair.”
“Okay, first things first.” He sets me carefully in my clean bed and puts the covers up over my towel. When he comes back from the bathroom, he has another towel and he awkwardly wraps it around my head. “How do girls do that thing with the towel and the hair?”
I take the towel from him, turn my head over and have it wrapped in a turban in seconds. I close my eyes and fight the wave of dizziness when I come back up.
“Oh, see, you overdid it.”
I’m too tired to argue with him now. I don’t want to get my bed all wet, so under the covers I remove the towel and hand it to him.
“Fuck me. That was hot,” he whispers.
I open one eye and shoot all the glares I can out of that eye. He holds his hands out.
“Just speaking the truth.”
“Since when do you…” I can’t even remember what I want to say.
I close my eyes and let sleep overtake me.
* * *
When I wake up naked a few hours later, I sit up, holding the covers to my chest.
“I wondered what you’d do when you realized you were naked.” Luka’s fingers skate along my back and he holds up a gown that may as well be invisible. It leaves nothing to the imagination.
“Could you get me something that covers a little more?”
“I don’t know what you’re talking about. There’s also this.” He holds up a white lace short set. He reaches over and grabs one more thing. “Maybe this one?”
It’s a navy silk nightie, low-cut and too short to walk around in, but in bed it’ll have to do. I snatch it from him and put it on hurriedly, pulling up the covers as quickly as I can. Of course he sneaks a peek.
“Are you hungry?”
“I do think I could eat something.”
“Perfect.” He taps out a message on his phone and touches my forehead. “Now that’s more like it.”
“Did you let Ms. Macardi know that I’m sick?”
“Everyone in this house knows you are sick. She came to see about you a couple of times and told me to go to bed. I’ve been a wreck.”
I feel a warmth surge through me and shove it down. He can be a caring person without me taking it to mean he has feelings for me.
“You should rest,” I tell him. “I’m fine.”
“Did you know I never believe you when you say you’re fine?”
He’s lying on his side now, facing me. “You look beautiful right now. Even after going through hell. When you were fevered, God, you looked like an angel…Eden…” He presses his lips together and I’m scared of what he’s going to say. His eyes look so intense. “I want you to know, I haven’t been with Nadia since that time we spent together…last—”
I start shaking my head. I don’t want to hear it.
“Please, let me finish,” he whisp
ers. “It’s different with her. She’s a distraction, always available. You’re nothing like h—”
My eyes fill with tears and he stops.
“I’m sorry. You should rest. I’ll go see what’s taking so long with your food.” He gets out of bed and looks ten years older as he walks out of my room.
Tears fall back onto my pillow and I wipe them off with my fist. When Chelsea brings in a big bowl of soup and fresh bread with cheese, I sit up and grin. Luka follows closely behind her.
“Ah, there’s that smile,” she says, setting the tray over my legs. “We were all worried about you, Lady Eden. Especially this one here.” She lifts her thumb toward Luka.
“I’m feeling a lot better. Thank you for the food and for your concern.”
She smiles warmly and lifts her hand as she leaves. Basile sticks his head in the room.
“She’s awake!” He puts his hands together and squeezes. “And looking like a vision. How can anyone pull off being as sick as you and still be a vision of beauty?”
“I said the same thing…only not quite as eloquently.” Luka smiles at me.
“You’re definitely cut from the same cloth.” I tuck my head and smile, my mind full of conflicting thoughts.
I don’t have to figure anything out right now, I remind myself. I don’t know what I need to figure out really.
It just seems I need boundaries, even in my own mind.
To survive this house.
To survive Luka.
* * *
After another day in bed and being pampered by the still-attentive Luka, I am ready to break out of the house and breathe the fresh air.
Brienne sits with me in the afternoon and reads a book aloud when I’m antsy. When Luka steps out for a minute, she leans in. “Lady Eden, I’ve been so worried about you, but Luka has been so good to you. I wish you could see what everyone else sees when he looks at you. Trust your heart.”
I stare at her and swallow. “That’s the most you’ve ever said to me at one time.”
She laughs and it’s shocking how pretty she is when she smiles.
In one of the rare times Luka is not in my room—he’s even showered in my shower—I put on my swimsuit and am in the process of rubbing sunscreen on my arms when he comes back. He stops dead in his tracks, taking me in with one long sweep. I snap and his eyes jerk up to mine. He grins.
“Oh, we’re going swimming?”
“No, I’m going swimming. You’re gonna give me some space. Go take a nap, clean your room, do homework…I don’t care what, just go do something.”
He frowns. “I’d rather go swimming.”
I lean my head against the wall and laugh. He’s been going nonstop for days and I know he must be exhausted.
“I’m worried you’ll get sick if you don’t take a break. Look at me, I’m f—”
“Don’t say fine,” he jumps in. “Well, healing, better are all acceptable words…”
“Very well. I’m better.”
“And I am fine.” He smirks. “Unlike you, when I say it, I mean it. I’ve rested when you have. Some. I told you, I am resilient. And watching you outside in that bikini will cure anything that could possibly afflict me, I promise you that.” His eyes gleam with mischief and I shake my head, grabbing a towel and walking out of the room. “Hold up,” he calls. “I need to grab my suit, but also—I need to watch you walk away…”
Chapter Twenty-Eight
“Does it ever get cold here?” I ask one afternoon when we’re lying in the farsynthia fields. It’s already snowing at home. When Jadon and I last spoke, he showed me the pile of snow that was growing by the minute.
“The nights get cooler in the winter, but the days are still warm enough to swim.”
I nod, pleased.
“This place suits you.” He plucks a few flowers and tucks one behind my ear and the other in my shorts’ pocket. The last one he uses to tickle my cheek.
I brush his hand away, shivering.
“Do you miss the cold?”
“No. I miss my family, though. I’ve never gone so long without seeing them.”
“We should plan a trip soon. Would you like to be there for Christmas?”
I sit up and stare down at him. “Do you think that would be possible? Is it safe?”
“As far as I know, the threat is gone and it should be safe to travel. Your parents came here with no trouble. We should be able to get there and we can stay as long as you like.”
“What about Ms. Macardi?”
“She could come too…”
I grin. The thought of her amidst the rich history of Farrow—she would love it there.
“That smile. I think that’s a definite yes.” He bops my nose when I flop back down.
The flowers smell incredible. Sweet, almost citrusy, a scent all of its own. Luka was right about me loving it here. We’ve come twice in the past two weeks and I’m never ready to leave.
“I’ll bring it up to Father later tonight. I think we have a charity to attend and you have a luncheon with my mother and sister this week.”
“Don’t forget the family ball.” It takes an effort not to grit my teeth with the words. Mara and Cece bring up the family ball at every meal. I’m already dreading the event with a holy passion.
“Ah…the family ball.” Luka does grit his teeth when he says it.
I’ve still never said a word against Mara, but he seems to be noticing more annoying qualities of hers as of late. I don’t have to say anything—she can barely tolerate my presence. I have a feeling if I nudged back even slightly, she’d completely lose her mind on me.
“You really want to go with me for the holidays? You don’t have to, you know. No one cares what we’re doing as a couple, Luka. I don’t think they ever bought it. And your parents probably wouldn’t appreciate me dragging you away from them over Christmas.”
“In the months you’ve been my wife, when has it ever seemed like we were a family who had a warm and fuzzy Christmas?”
I giggle. It’s true, of course. I can’t picture them around a tree opening presents the way my family does every Christmas morning. Our reserved family gets very loud at Christmastime.
He’s been doing that a lot lately…calling me his wife. It’s weird, and I want to ask him why he’s saying it all the time, but I don’t.
“It’s my favorite.” My face gets pink with the confession. I’ve been doing this a lot lately too…sharing parts of myself.
“Really?” He turns on his side, his face resting against his hand. “Tell me about it.”
“Well, every Christmas Eve, we have a big supper of chicken and homemade noodles. It’s the only time we all invade the kitchen and we have a contest for who makes the best noodles.”
He listens, rapt. “And who usually wins?”
“Jadon. Sometimes Mother…Jadon is the best at everything.”
He rolls his eyes. “He’s secretly very egotistical, isn’t he…”
I look at him like he’s crazy. “Jadon? No, that’s what makes him all the more special. He’s truly, deeply good.”
“There’s nothing wrong with a little ego.”
“Yeah, you keep telling yourself that, buddy.”
He reaches out and grabs me, his fingers tickling my sides. I try to get away and he just tickles another part of me.
“Stop,” I wheeze. “I can’t breathe.”
He lets go and our laughter dies down. He stares at me for a long moment then slowly leans in to kiss me. I shift out of the way and stand up, looking across the fields of endless flowers. Luka stands up and moves behind me.
“I’m sorry I hurt you, Eden.”
“You were right—you warned me. It’s not like I didn’t know what was coming, I just got swept up in us for a minute…I’ve learned.”
He leans his head on my shoulder. “I’ve learned.”
The conversation is steering out of my comfort zone and thankfully, he seems to sense it.
I can’t help bu
t think it isn’t realistic to trust any feelings when we’re shut away from the rest of the world and only have a dysfunctional family surrounding us. It’s natural we would bond somewhat when we’re together all the time. That doesn’t mean it’s anything close to love, certainly not for him.
As for me, it takes everything inside me not to give in to his pull.
“So after the noodles, then what?”
“We sing Christmas carols near the tree…and after everyone has gone to bed, Mother sneaks the presents into the stockings.”
“You still have a stocking?”
I smile at his shock. “We all have stockings, even my parents.”
“Your parents really love each other, don’t they?”
“Yeah…they do. The only snag they’ve ever had was before I was born and it’s a big one. My mother is not kind to Jadon because of it…”
I’ve said too much and fortunately, both of our phones vibrate and save me from spilling all of our family’s drama.
“We should get back. We have to go over the details of the charity with Mother.”
* * *
Cece and Mara are waiting in the living room when we get there.
“Where have you been?” Mara snaps.
“We’re here now.” Luka shrugs. He moves a pillow to make sure I have room to sit down.
Mara’s eyes narrow. “What’s going on? You two are awfully chummy lately.”
“Don’t you worry about us,” he says. “Another night caught partying?” He tuts quietly and it makes her squirm with discomfort. She looks at Cece, who is giving her the evil eye.
“What now, Mara?”
She glares at Luka. “Nothing—I-I just went to a party last night and the photographers made things look worse than they really were.”
“How the photographers make things look is what matters,” Cece cries. “When will you learn? It’s why you have to be beyond cautious, so they can’t misconstrue.”
I keep my mouth shut but feel gratitude for a mother who worries more about what is really going on with her kids, and less about how we are perceived.
“Thanks, brother.” Mara sits back, crossing her arms over her chest.
Downfall: Kingdoms of Sin, Book #1 Page 16