I want to shake him until he gives me answers.
He broke my heart—what does it matter whether I’m with Juan or not?
Why is he sorry when he willingly chose her?
But it looks like I won’t be getting any answers today. He turns off my light and stands by the window. After ten minutes or so, he climbs out and I’m left with more questions than ever.
* * *
Seeing him stirs everything up again. Not that I was even close to better, but I had begun to at least function. Now I’m back to where I started, except maybe even more tormented. He just doesn’t make sense. That’s the answer I keep going back to.
He wants what he cannot have and the moment he gets it, he’s gone.
Juan comes to the house to show me the pictures. My mother and Brienne stand in the hallway disapprovingly as he makes up an excuse to why he’s there.
“I approved it with your house manager. I needed you to see these exquisite pictures.” The words rush out of him; he knows he’s on borrowed time. “You should choose one for me to make into a massive portrait. I can show you my favorites.”
He did do a good job. I look like fire against the snow.
“I wonder if we could go out for chaider again?” He leans in, whispering.
“That wasn’t a date.”
“Oh no, I know, but…it was nice.”
Thinking of Luka’s warnings, I grab my coat. “I’ll be back later,” I tell my mother. She starts to say something but stops and I hurry out of there before she gets her voice back.
Brienne rushes after us. “I’ll drive.”
“Oh, that’s okay. I have my car…” Juan stops when he sees her expression and nods. “Sure, you drive.”
I glare at her defiantly and she stares right back. I’m so tired of constantly having eyes on me. Even hers.
I don’t argue, instead climbing in the back of the car and glaring out the window.
Juan’s chatter fills the entire drive. He is enchanted with this country and tells me every reason why on the short drive.
“I think I might make this my home base,” he finishes.
Brienne is parking and she turns to look at Juan. “She’s married, you know. I can show you his picture if you’d like…he’s quite good-looking.”
Juan laughs loudly and I just want to get out of this car.
“I took the best pictures of them together. Believe me, I know.” He leans in closer to Brienne. “Where is he now?”
Her face gets red and I hop out of the car before she blows. She’s usually even-tempered, but the anger is pouring out of her right now. If I were Juan, I’d run.
She follows us into the cafe and I order her a chaider as a peace offering. She smiles kindly at me and then goes back to piercing holes through Juan’s skull.
Juan and I sit at the same table as the last time and he leans his face against his hand as he looks at me.
“So many hoops to jump through just to be alone with you, Eden Catano. Semi-alone.”
“I’m not sure what you’re expecting.”
“Not much. Just a chance to see you again.”
“Juan…it’s not a good idea. I’m too complicated and…taken.”
“Ah, still taken, huh. The boy is a fool to let you out of his sight.”
“The biggest fool. Now which picture is your favorite?”
He lights up and pulls out his portfolio, showing me his top three. I choose one and he sighs like I’ve made the best choice.
“Should I send a life-size print of this one to your husband?” His eyes are twinkling as he says it and I wish I could take everything he’s offering. It’s tempting to let him distract me for a while.
I laugh. “No, that won’t be necessary. He doesn’t deserve to see this.”
“Remember that when he comes crawling back. Has he even tried?” He leans forward, both arms on the table and I feel a prickle of something. I don’t want to acknowledge it at first, because I’d be forced to admit I was momentarily blinded by yet another man’s charm, but my intuition is still intact.
“How much are they paying you?” I lean forward and stare him down until he sits back in his chair, laughing and shaking his head.
“What?”
“You heard me. How much?” I glare at him until he squirms.
Brienne walks up then. “Is there a problem here?”
“This bastard was sent to spy on me. Find out who it is.” I look at Juan then and get in his face. “And the answer is no. He hasn’t. Why don’t you go running back to whoever hired you and tell them that.”
I walk outside and Brienne follows, carrying a dangling Juan by the arm. I’d give anything for her strength. She takes him around the back of the cafe and I stand by the car, waiting until she’s done her thing.
She comes back wiping her bloody hands on her pants.
“Is he okay?”
“I didn’t hurt him too badly.” She grins and shrugs. “He can walk away, so I’d say he’s doing all right. He’s working for Titus.”
“I knew it. But why?”
We get in the car and I sit in the front with her. She faces me and puts her fingers to her lips for me to be quiet. We don’t talk the whole way home. My leg is bouncing up and down with the effort it takes.
As soon as we arrive at the house, she looks through the car until she finds a recording device and smashes it. She still doesn’t say a word until we get in the entryway and she’s found another.
“That should be it since these are the only two places he’s been. I’ll have the others do a more thorough search.” She motions for me to follow her back outside. “Until then, watch what you say.”
“Brienne, he was here last night—Luka,” I whisper.
“I know.” Her eyes crinkle up with her smile. “I’m the one who helped him get in.”
Chapter Thirty-Seven
“Why would you do that?” I trail Brienne as she goes back inside.
“I need to go shower.” She holds up her bloody hands and smirks.
“Not so fast.” I follow her to her room, which is next to mine and when I begin to walk inside, she tucks her head and looks at me with surprise. I come to a full stop. I’ve never entered her room and want to always be respectful of her space. It’s an odd relationship where she constantly calls me Lady Eden, which is like her holding up a giant wall between us at times; yet, I trust her with my life.
“You can come in,” she says, opening her door wider. She quickly goes through her room and when she comes up with nothing, she relaxes. “This is probably the safest room in the house for talking.”
“You really think the house is bugged? By Juan?”
“I guess it’s possible that Luka could’ve bugged the house, but I don’t believe he did. If he did, I think he’d have a good reason.”
“Why did you let him in to see me? For that matter—why do you trust him at all?” I chew the outside of my lip, something my mother never lets me get away with.
“Quit chewing your lip. It’ll bleed.”
I sigh. “It’s like having two mothers around. How old are you anyway?”
“I’m twenty-three. Old enough.” She goes into her bathroom and washes her hands.
“You’re barely older than me!” I raise my voice so she can hear me over the water. “And don’t get me off the subject.”
She doesn’t answer until she comes out of the bathroom, drying her hands.
“I don’t know why I let Luka in. He seemed desperate to see you and I thought you deserved to hear him out. And he warned me about Juan.”
“What? Why didn’t you tell me?”
“I wanted to see if he’d try anything. But you didn’t even really need me—you figured him out for yourself. It was a proud mama moment.”
She laughs and I realize how rarely she laughs. I feel a pang of guilt that I haven’t tried harder to get to know her. It must be lonely watching out for a family who isn’t your own. I remember my mom saying so
mething had happened with Brienne’s family and I’m ashamed that I never bothered to ask more about it.
“Thank you for watching out for me, Brienne. I’m really fortunate to have you in my life.”
“It’s my highest honor, Lady Eden.”
“You know, I’ve said it about a million times, but I really wish you’d just call me Eden.”
“That would feel disrespectful.”
I laugh. “The last thing anyone would call you is disrespectful. You are always the epitome of proper, and you don’t have to be with me. I consider you…a friend.”
She goes completely still and looks down, her hands gripped tightly. When she raises her head, there are tears in her eyes. “Thank you, Eden. I consider you a friend too.”
I press my lips together and try to keep my tears from spilling over. I take a shaky breath. “And thank you for getting Luka past the other guards. You’re right—I did need to talk to him. Not that he told me anything…”
“I can’t forget the way he looked at you.” She sighed. “It almost made me believe in love.”
“Love?” I spit out. “Uh, no. After all he’s done, I hardly think he loved me. But after seeing him, I did wonder if maybe he really did…care. Maybe. I don’t know. It’s all so confusing.”
“I don’t think it’s over. There’s a reason he came. Don’t you think? And there’s a reason Titus sent Juan to check things out. Something’s going on.”
I want to agree with her, but I can’t help but think if Luka wanted me, he’d be here right now. Not with Nadia.
“None of it makes sense.” I walk to the door and look back. “We’re a good team.”
“We are.” She leans against a chair and looks like a portrait herself.
* * *
I get back into the groove of being home. It still feels strange to be back, but with each week, I find a new normal. I help Mother with the charities she runs and spend time with Ava when she’s done with her classes. When I’m not with them, I take online college courses and paint. I gave up on the thought of Ms. Macardi. I don’t want to put her in an awkward position when she’s on Titus’s payroll. I consider going back to Kings Passage, but that would put me in an awkward position. I do think about Jasmine and even Thad on occasion and wonder what they’re doing. I left in such a hurry and never looked back. Jasmine probably thinks I’m a terrible person, dropping off like that.
The only time I ever was allowed to enjoy a short glimpse of freedom was at Kings Passage and later at Luka’s home. I’d really like to change that.
I’ve spent many days in the city and nearby villages, taking food to the workers and handing out coats for those in need. I’ve never gone and painted them. So one day when I have nothing else I’m required to do, I let Brienne know my plan.
“It’s the perfect day for it. Shouldn’t be too cold,” she says.
“I know it would be better to wait during the midnight sun, when there’s endless sunlight, but…I can’t wait!”
We drive to one of my favorite streets, where the shops and restaurants are built into a cliff. The mountains still have snow on them, but it’s melting. Spring always brings people out by the droves. It’s like we all awake from a deep sleep.
I set up my easel in a park and the first person to notice me is a little girl. She walks up and starts chatting before I’ve even looked up.
“Whatcha doin’?”
I glance at her around my easel and she’s holding onto a ragged teddy bear.
“I’m going to paint for a bit. Would you like me to paint you?”
I look around for her mother but don’t see anyone. I frown and turn around, searching for Brienne. She’s standing near the entrance of the park. I motion for her to come over.
“Where is your mother?” I ask.
“I don’t have a mother. But my dad is over there.” She points and I look but don’t see him.
“Are you sure he’s over there?”
She pokes her lips out and looks at me like I’m crazy. “Yes! He fell asleep while I was playing.”
Sounds like a real winner. I look again and I can barely make out a body lying on the grass. “Okay, well, why don’t I paint you and when he wakes up, we can take it to him.”
She claps her hands together, barely making any sound around the bear.
When Brienne gets close, I lean over and ask her to go check out the guy. I start painting while the little girl talks my ear off. Brienne comes back a few minutes later, while I’m engrossed in the drawing.
“We need to leave,” she says.
“What—” I look up and she’s as close to panicked as I’ve ever seen her.
“Something doesn’t feel right. No one was over there.”
“I don’t think we should leave her alone.” I look at her and she’s fidgeting. I sigh. “Did you make that up about that man being your father?”
“He asked me to do it,” she said.
“Who?”
“He didn’t say his name. But he gave me ten scrupas to ask you to paint my picture.”
“Are your parents nearby?”
“My grandmother is right over there.” She points and I see a woman crocheting in a rocking chair across the street.
“Eden,” Brienne urges. “Let’s go.”
I give the little girl her painting and she grins. I guess the whole trip wasn’t for nothing, to see her smile.
We walk to the car and get inside. Before Brienne turns the key in the ignition, she looks to me, eyes huge. “Get out of the car!”
I don’t hesitate. We both jump out of the car and run. We’re halfway down the street when the car explodes in a huge crashing flame. We stand there, breathing hard, watching the car burn.
“We need to get out of here!” Brienne yells.
She makes a few phone calls and we run a few blocks to meet a guard. A couple of other guys from our security team go to what’s left of the car and look for any sign of who could’ve done this in the surrounding area. The little girl describes the man but has very little to offer about his description. On the way home, I call Jadon.
“The car I was in just blew up.”
“What? Where are you now?” he yells.
“I’m on my way home with Brienne. She has a few guys from the security team on it. What else should we do?”
“Are you hurt?”
“No, Brienne saved my life.”
“I’ll be sure to thank her when I see her. For now, get home. I’ll call the police and alert them that this is going on. I needed to call them about Juan anyway. Do you think he was involved in this?”
“I can’t figure out why he’s involved in any of it. He’s a successful photographer, high profile…I don’t get it.”
“It’s time for a confrontation with Titus. Do you want in on that?”
“I wouldn’t miss it for the world.”
Chapter Thirty-Eight
I expected Luka to check on me after news spread worldwide about the attempt on my life. I hate to admit it, even to myself, but I did. I wanted him to. Needed to hear his concern for me. If nothing else, just to know that I did matter to him in some way.
But nothing.
And it makes everything that much more painful.
To top it off, now I’m paranoid about going anywhere. Everyone is trying to convince me that now that the guards are on high alert, they’ll protect me, but it’s too little, too late. The damage is done.
We’re easing into summer slowly but surely and the days are getting longer. It’s the time of year when I’m usually outside nonstop into the wee hours of the morning because it’s still light outside. Now I go to the roof and wish for the stars and the dark sky. Anything to commiserate with how lonely I feel.
I need something—anything—to be darker than me.
I can’t figure out what to do. It feels like until Luka signs those papers, I’m in limbo. And even when he does, what then? After being groomed a large part of my life to be his wife, I
’m at a loss on what to do with my life and feel like I’m supposed to have it figured out.
I’m still reeling with the loss of my father too—we all are—and that has everyone more on edge than usual.
So, when Jadon announces that the Catano family will be coming here for a gathering to discuss peaceful negotiations, that sends me into a tailspin more than ever.
“When? Why here? Do you really trust them not to knock one of us off while they’re here?” I’m standing in front of Jadon’s desk, heels clicking on the hardwood floor as I walk back and forth, back and forth. He catches me off guard when he starts pacing with me.
“What are you doing?”
“Just seeing if it works.” He grins.
I smack his arm and he jumps out of the way before I can hit him again.
“Next week. I want them in our territory. And no, I don’t trust them, but I hardly think they’ll try anything in our home. That being said, they will be checked for weapons, bugs, and so will their guards. We will have a nice dinner and talk like civilized humans.”
“Luka is the only civilized one of all of them, and look how he’s turned out. If his mother and sister show up, it should be quite the show.”
“They better all show up. I have a few choice words to say to each of them.”
I rub my hands together and he laughs. “You having choice words—I can’t wait.”
I work alongside our cleaners during the week leading up to the dinner, then do yoga for hours at a time at night, needing desperately to keep myself grounded but clearheaded. My brain wants to obsess over all the what-ifs and it’s taking every ounce of willpower I possess to avoid going down that path.
I do plan my outfit carefully. It’s one thing to be the woman scorned, but if I show up at this dinner and am not dressed to perfection, I may as well not even go at all.
Shallow? Check.
Hoping to make him suffer, even if it’s just a little? Check. Check.
Downfall: Kingdoms of Sin, Book #1 Page 21