“This is all too much. I’ve got to focus on the Salchek invasion and hope to God that everything else will sort itself out as I go.” Jeff once again reviewed how he had attacked Heideth. “And I may be fucked up, but that kind of shit has to stop. There’s a job to do, and it’s time to get outside my head.”
Once dressed he absentmindedly began packing. When he woke up to what he was doing, Jeff realized it was time to leave for Rugen and find out what he had become. Heideth and Balko were in need of some serious running, and eagerly greeted his plans for departure.
Having had a small taste of freedom from the stable, Cynic was ready to leave the instant the subject came up. In addition to his desire to hit the trail again, he had also become quite suspicious of the looks thrown his way by the farming contingent. It was time for spring planting and they were short of draft animals.
Walking into the smoky interior of the community hall that evening, Jeff’s musings were drowned out by a roar of welcome and a flying piece of venison. He fielded it and ripped out a hunk with a sidewise twist of his head. Toward the end of the evening, Jeff shared his decision to leave with Halric and Gurthwin.
Normal conversation in the hall during a meal amounted to shouting in order to be heard over the general racket. Once the food was consumed, villagers could concentrate on drinking beer and the decibel level rapidly increased. In the middle of the conversation, someone started a fight. Uttering a curse under his breath, Halric hurried off to referee.
Damn, Jeff thought with a broad grin, I really have come home.
Halric was forced to dodge and weave in order to stay clear of the two contestants rolling around on the floor. One of the men grabbed a hunk of firewood and tried to brain his opponent. That was considered dirty pool and Halric kicked it away. Unfortunately, the piece of wood sailed across the room, thumped a warrior and sent her backward to the floor. On the sidelines, spectators shouted encouragement to both contestants.
The two men broke apart along enough to stand up and have a go with their fists. Pretty good footwork, Jeff concluded. He winced when one fellow landed a buffet that snapped the other’s head against a beam with a sickening crack. He collapsed like a half-empty sack of potatoes and fell onto a trestle table.
Amid outraged cries, tankards of beer and food went flying in every direction. Halric made sure the hapless villager was still breathing and sauntered back to the head table. Taking a long pull from his wooden tankard, Halric threw an arm around Jeff’s shoulders and motioned Gurthwin closer so he could hear.
“I believe your plan to depart on the morrow will serve us all. We must be certain that supplies have been delivered to the moot grounds. If they have not, you must seek out the cause as you journey farther south. It would…”
Dual shrieks of fury rose above the noise, followed by a crash. Two women jumped to their feet, one of them leaped a table and they rushed together with fists flying. Halric sprang to his feet again. Knowing real danger when he saw it, he circled the pair with great caution.
“Looks like Brunhil and Siglin are not on the best of terms.”
Gurthwin nodded sagely, burping at the same time. “Siglin refuses to concede young Odik to Brunhil. They are evenly matched, would you not say?”
“They do honor to the village.”
Jeff lay a hand on Gurthwin’s shoulder and they sat back to enjoy the second event. Thunking their tankards together, they drank deep. The matter was settled—he would leave in the morning. Now it was time to enjoy.
The first days on the trail were taken at an easy pace to condition Cynic. Spring thaw was well advanced, leaving only a few small drifts in the shadow of trees. Flowers carpeted meadows, birdsong filled the air, excitement and renewal overflowed. Feeling spring’s enthusiasm, Heideth and Balko ranged wide in search of game and from a simple need to run.
Cynic toughened up by the end of the first week, the terrain was more open, and Jeff let his mount stretch out in breathtaking sprints. When Heideth and Balko happened to be running nearby, they had to get into the fun as well. The meadows were small and only served to whet their appetites. One day they abruptly emerged into a long valley free of trees.
Broadcasting a sudden, “Let us run!” Cynic was off like a shot, the wolves digging after him for all they were worth. This time Cynic was not exhausted after a day’s chase and he accelerated like a quarter horse.
Caught by surprise, Jeff had to grab leather while getting sorted out. Shifting his weight to the stirrups, he urged Cynic on with a fierce yell. They tore down that valley, horse and wolves running for the sheer joy of it. Balanced in the stirrups, the wind forcing tears into his eyes, Jeff felt on top of the world. Life was good.
A stream-washed gully rushed to meet them and Jeff was forced to call a halt to the race. By that time all three were satisfied that they were indeed a match for one another. The race had been in doubt to the end.
The moot ground at the fork of the rivers Vecka and Farga was not far off when Heideth and Balko raced back from a jaunt far ahead. Heideth reported that a pack of wolves awaited them. She was excited, but Jeff also sensed she was deeply troubled about something. Next day, Balthazar greeted them.
Formal and polite as always, his humorous mindset still evident, the big male nevertheless seemed distracted as they discussed the winter’s events. Looking around for the source of his preoccupation, Jeff was not long in finding it.
Some ways off, Heideth and another female were circling each other. The ruff on their backs standing up, heads held low and fangs bared, they growled mutual dislike. Jeff felt his world explode.
“Don’t do it Heideth! Don’t leave me!”
Balthazar was dazed and unaware of the chaos in Jeff’s mind. “Never have I encountered a female such as this. From which pack does she come?”
Wanting to scream, “From my pack. She’s mine!” Jeff somehow choked it back. Until that moment, until he experienced the head-on collision of two radically different societies, Jeff had not understood the inherent pathos of his love for Heideth. He was not a wolf, could never be a wolf. She could never be a human. It nearly tore him apart. All he and Heideth had shared, gone in an instant.
In spite of what he was feeling, the uncompromising nature of his insight forced reality to the forefront and Jeff described the circumstances of their meeting.
“I know of this pack. Great was its leader, and wise. But now, that which has started must be completed. It is our way.”
Surrounded by Balthazar’s pack, the two females circled in tighter snarling threats. The final challenge was issued and the females came together in a snarling collage of twisting bodies and flashing fangs before springing apart to resume circling. They came together two more times before Heideth found her advantage. Holding her death grip for a moment, Heideth stepped back. Rolling onto her belly, the female crouched in front of Heideth with throat exposed.
The event was closed and witnessed. Balthazar’s pack had a new alpha female and Jeff felt like a part of his soul had been ripped away. Conflict on the way to being resolved balled up into a violent knot and hit him like a thrown brick. Clenching his hands into fists, Jeff fought a rush of fury. It tried to batter a way out, but he clamped his jaw and kept it shut. Then it was gone, and he nearly fell to his knees from the shock.
Holding his hands out, Jeff whispered, “Why? Why does she have to go? Have I asked for too much? Damn it, I need her!” Jeff wiped tears from his eyes with a shirtsleeve. “Fuck this shit. Gurthwin and his lousy gods. What a bunch of crap.”
Taking deep breaths, Jeff looked for Heideth and found her touching noses with Balthazar. The instincts of countless generations of wolves had ruled the day and determined with absolute authority what must happen. Bonded to Jeff in a way that was beyond breaking, Heideth was nevertheless a young, dominant wolf. From every aspect she was also a perfect match for Balthazar, and had just won the right to pair with him even as he had won the right to lead.
Heideth left
Balthazar and approached Jeff. Ears down, her mind boiled with such turmoil that she felt she could not tolerate the agony. Picking up on that thought, Jeff realized Heideth’s pain was at least as bad as his. She had been trapped and blown away by the simultaneous advent of spring, estrus and meeting Balthazar.
“You are deeply troubled, even as I am.”
“What has happened was destined to be, yet my heart is torn asunder. Now I must leave your side. I have broken the One. I have done this thing!”
There were no words, no thoughts that could make it right. He knelt and placed a hand on either side of her head. Looking into golden-green eyes, he relished the clarity of her thoughts and total absence of hypocrisy. He wrapped his arms around Heideth and held her while both cried in a way that did not require liquid tears.
Heideth pulled back and stared into his eyes. Memories of the past and thoughts of a future without Jeff fueled anguish that was more human than lupine.
“Now you must judge this one’s oath-breaking.”
Thinking, I judge that I love you, Jeff forced some order into his mind. He knew beyond emotion that he must let her go.
“The gods have given their judgment—our wolf-sister must be one with the pack she has won her place to run in, and follow the ways of the brethren. Ever has its leader been my brother. You and I are one but now we must part, for your path in the forest cannot be mine. Go in peace, go with my love. May our destinies remain intertwined.”
Crystal tears glimmering in her mind, Heideth mentally bowed. “Your judgment speaks to the wisdom and strength of resolve that I have come to so cherish. It shall be done.”
Heideth nuzzled Jeff’s cheek and trotted over to Balthazar’s pack. Watching her move into the pack and take charge, Jeff thought, And what of you, Balko? Will you leave me too?
The young wolf wasn’t long in making his position clear. “Has this one bitten any ‘Salchek’ necks? We are one.”
“Then let us continue our journey to that destiny.” Turning to leave, Jeff bumped into Balthazar.
“Will you hear me, wolf-brother? Forgive my lack of comprehension?”
“We are one. There is nothing to forgive.”
“Yet I now perceive the quality of your pain.”
“Understanding will be granted over time.”
After a period of mental communion, Balthazar accepted Jeff’s statements as fact. Through his association with the Alarai and in a way analogous to Heideth’s experience, he had come to understand the wide-ranging and often fragile extent of human emotion. But this was his brother. They shared a long period of mental silence before Balthazar felt comfortable with moving on to pressing business.
“The one named ‘Gaereth’ has arrived, but has many forests to cross. Here he will await your return from the great city. Food has been provided for the yellow-hairs and is protected by two-legs. Our presence has lead to a certain unease, and I believe it were wise for you to soothe their spirits. May I conclude their leader has engaged resolve?”
“This is so, wolf-brother. I believe the two-leg pack leader, ‘Imogo’, will prove a worthy ally in what is to come.”
“Let us rely on that belief. It is also in my mind that the brethren cannot be found wanting in this conflict. We must join battle with the invaders. What is your thinking on this matter?”
“On the open plains and in the face of ‘Salchek’ weapons I would fear for the lives of my wolf-brethren while the sun gives light. During darkness and amidst the forests of this land, there is no more fearsome enemy. Such allies would be welcome.”
“We will pursue this matter. This pack at least will come.”
Jeff spent a good deal of time talking with the men Rengeld had sent north with the promised supplies. While badly spooked by the wolves, they were committed to seeing things through. It was still early in the afternoon when the final points were settled. Now it was time to go, to physically part ways. Balthazar planned to trek northwest toward their summer hunting grounds. With Heideth. She stopped for a moment at the forest verge and looked back.
“Never until this day have I wished to be other than what I am, Jeffrey. Know that at this moment my heart cries out that I were a human female. Always will my thoughts be with you.”
Casting a last benediction of love, she vanished into the forest. It was some time before Jeff turned his gaze from where she had disappeared. Heideth had called him by name. No wolf had ever done that before.
Chapter Nineteen
Forces Converge
Hardly taking note of his surroundings, Jeff forded the Vekka and rode south. Sensing his state of mind, Cynic and Balko increased their vigilance to take up the slack. Days passed, many of them, and the impact of Heideth’s loss slowly abated to a dull ache. Having found a kindred spirit and credulous mind in Balko, Cynic helped pass the time by gossiping shamelessly about Rugen.
Moving rapidly, they ghosted through the deciduous forest. On the way north the timing had not been right for Cynic and Jeff to camp in their special glen. That was not the case heading south. Man and horse had many fond memories of the glen.
When they broke out of the trees, Balko understood his friend’s excitement. Upon viewing the glen he immediately loped off to explore every nook. The glowing report he had received from Cynic was, if anything, an understatement.
The weather was perfectly warm and settled, the water in the brook just the right temperature to splash around in. Besides those factors, every sense at his command indicated that Cynic was right. Something resided in the glen that went far beyond the mundane. What it was Balko could not say, nor did he worry about saying it. It was simply there to be appreciated. Although he could have used a bite to eat, Balko never considered hunting the glen or surrounding forest.
Once free of saddle and baggage, Cynic joined Balko. The two friends poked around here and there while Cynic related what had occurred when he and Jeff had first camped in the glen. Balko decided it was an astounding tale. It never occurred to either of them that Cynic’s memory of events was much more complete than Jeff’s.
After sunset the larger moon crept above the trees. While Jeff bathed in the creek, horse and wolf settled in on top of a little hillock. The flowers were in full bloom and fragrance, the breeze gentle. Lighted by the moon, every color took on a luminous shade that created a world of the spirit. It was not a night given to extraordinary events, rather one of extraordinary beauty.
Once bathed, Jeff joined them with recorder in hand. Although he had played on several occasions since meeting Balko, the young wolf had never heard such compelling music as now flowed from the recorder in gentle progression. It seemed that his spirit lifted free to hover over the meadow.
After a period, Cynic resettled himself in a more comfortable position. “Now, wolf-brother, I shall relate the story of Middle Earth; a story of great love, great courage, and great evil.”
Once across Mirkwood Creek and onto the road, the trio blew along at a famous pace scattering fellow travelers right and left. Jeff was impressed by the amount of traffic they encountered as the days passed. It seemed to be much heavier than he recalled from the first trip south. They passed load after load of cordwood, carts piled high with game, and herds of domestic animals plodding along.
When they topped the hill that overlooked Rugen, Jeff pulled Cynic well off the road and stopped. Balko’s presence had caused a stampede earlier in the day and threatened to do so again. Jeff wearily climbed down, looked out over the valley, and did an amazed double take.
“Now, that is some sight.”
Every square inch of land was under cultivation. Scores of farmers, ant-like in the distance, swarmed over the fields. Jeff turned his gaze toward Rugen.
“Holy shit. Will you look at that.” The causeway was jammed side to side and backed up to the hill with people and livestock. “Imogo has really put this city on a war footing!”
The sight of Rugen strengthened memories that had been growing stronger by the day since
crossing Mirkwood Creek. Zimma and Carl were down there somewhere. Belstan and Rogelf were probably pulling off some business deal at the very moment. It had been over nine months since he left Rugen.
“I have got to see them!” He jumped into the saddle, only to dismount at once. “Damn it! No way can I take Balko down there.” Jeff viewed the causeway scene again and shook his head decisively. “It would be a disaster. We’ll have to wait.”
They found a spot on the hillside that afforded a good view. It was better than a three-ring circus. There were several mini-stampedes, it looked like two bulls were fighting over a female in heat, and, in a side event, a solid fistfight.
In addition to the action, Cynic’s steady stream of pithy comments threatened to undo Jeff from moment to moment. Balko was not immune from Cynic’s two-leg jokes, either. On one occasion he let go with a howl, creating further problems at the foot of the hill.
Jeff mounted shortly after sunset in a cheerful frame of mind. The crowd had melted away as the afternoon drew on, and the road was nearly empty. Guards formed up as they neared the gate. There seemed to be some pushing and shoving to see who got to stand in the rear. The senior man, an elderly sergeant, wound up doing, or as the case might be, stuck with, his duty.
“State yer business.”
“I am Jeffrey Friedrick. We are expected.”
Having said all he intended to, Jeff calmly stared at the man. Tongue lolling out, Balko stood nearby laughing his wolf laugh.
The sergeant was in a tough spot. He had seen some strange sights in his day, but never a great wolf at such close quarters. He was dumbfounded and not a little frightened by the creature’s size. Still, he was duty bound not to let dangerous elements into the city. The wolf was, he concluded, likely very dangerous. Recalling information announced at reveille several weeks ago, he suddenly brightened and heaved a vast sigh of relief.
Exile to the Stars (The Alarai Chronicles) Page 38