Kiss Like a Fist: A Paranormal Harem Pulp Novel (Hell's Belles Book 1)

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Kiss Like a Fist: A Paranormal Harem Pulp Novel (Hell's Belles Book 1) Page 17

by Jake Richter


  He watched in horror as the ax made a bee line for his friend who was stumbling through the woods, fighting his way over a fallen tree, trying to avoid the ax. Alex mounted a fallen timber, shouting for Spence to get down as the ax rocketed forward and—

  WHAM!

  Slammed into the tree directly alongside Spence, who tumbled to the ground.

  “Get up and run!” Alex shouted to Spence.

  Spence got up and started to run. Alex could see that the ax had dislodged itself and was circling back around, zooming off after Spence.

  Ash rushed over to Alex. “Does he have a thing on him? A communications device? They can track—what do you call it?”

  Alex realized she was talking about the GPS on Spence’s phone. He turned and cupped his hands to his mouth. “The GPS on your phone, Spence! It’s tracking you! Toss the phone!”

  Spence ran as fast as his heavy legs could take him. Thankfully, although the ax was deadly it had slowed because of the trunks it was forced to weave between. Alex could see that Spence was able to dodge it for a moment or two, but he still had his cell phone in his hand, and he was running toward Alex. Spence tossed the phone into the air and dove to the ground as the ax accelerated and cleaved the phone in two.

  Alex looked down at Spence. “Why didn’t you drop the phone earlier?”

  Spence smirked. “I just bought it and I didn’t have the protection plan.”

  Alex helped Spence up, catching sight of movement as the ax rose again and zeroed in on him .“It’s got a hard-on for you, Alex!” Spence shouted.

  Alex doubled back as the ax sliced through the woods, the lights on the handle blinking wildly.

  “It’s locked on to my phone!” Alex said. Realizing his phone might be the only way to draw the ax away from the others, he ducked back and shouted to Camille, “Did you rig something? Anything!”

  Camille was already toying with her gadgets. “I’m sorry, Alex. I got nothing!”

  Alex gritted his teeth as he raced up a short hill and jumped into a clearing, a perfect dive roll that only left him exposed as the ax finally had him dead to rights when—

  A whine filled the air and Alex caught a blur as the ax slammed into the ground only a few centimeters away from his crotch.

  Alex wasted little time. He grabbed the ax and took off in a dead sprint toward the Ax Man, simultaneously signaling to Ash. Ash pulled her gun around and provided cover fire, the rounds from her gun slamming into the nearby trees, turning them to matchsticks.

  Alex vaulted onto a rocky outcropping in the middle of the woods and flung the ax at the Ax Man.

  The Ax Man ducked as the weapon slammed into a tree.

  He grabbed the handle and levered it free, losing a guttural shriek as Alex lowered a shoulder and slammed into him.

  Bad idea.

  The Ax Man outweighed Alex by a good seventy or eighty pounds. He grabbed Alex and tossed him aside. In seconds they were struggling for ownership of the ax. Just when Alex was about to best him, the big man kicked Alex’s feet out from under him.

  Alex landed hard on his face but was able to turn quickly and flip back onto his feet as the Ax Man brought the ax around in a cutting motion.

  Sheer reflex, that’s the only thing that saved Alex’s ass as he dropped low and watched the ax slice through the air, missing his forehead by an inch.

  The Ax Man was exposed for a moment. Alex used the opportunity to plant his feet and unleash a series of wicked jabs to the man’s midsection before punting him in the balls.

  The Ax Man dropped the ax and toppled to the ground.

  Alex grabbed the ax and ran over to Ash and the others who were firing their weapons at several other attackers who drifted through the woods.

  Alex watched Minnie spring onto the shoulders of a second ax man, bringing her fists down in a series of frenetic, unforgiving chops that brought the attacker down. Camille was beside her, being attacked by a third ax man. Alex tossed Camille the ax he’d retrieved and she spun and lodged it in her attacker’s chest. Gore fountained from the man’s chest as he flopped to the ground. Camille planted a boot on the man’s chest and chucked the ax back to Alex, who wheeled around to see the original Ax Man rampaging toward him.

  Alex screamed and brought the ax back over his head and hurled it with everything he had. The ax seemed to split the air as it pinwheeled between the trees. It pistoned into the Ax Man’s chest with enough propulsive force to knock him off his feet. Cheers rose from the others as Alex looked around, realizing the attackers had been vanquished.

  He called out to Ash, Spence and the Belles.

  Camille was the first to approach, a look of shame on her face. “You asked for my help. I’m sorry that I couldn’t rig anything fast enough for you. I let you down.”

  Alex shook his head. “Are you kidding me? We’re a team!” He turned to the others as they gathered around. “Listen to me. I didn’t expect to be in this world, in this spot. But here I am with you, and you are helping me just as much as I am helping save our worlds. Don’t ever forget that and –”

  “Hey. Hero talker!” Ash interrupted. “I’m being honest here. I’m seriously almost choked up, and looking at Camille and Minnie, they’re probably ready to bear your children.”

  Minnie and Camille nodded. They were beyond moved by Alex’s pep talk.

  Spence laughed. “Hell bro, I was ready to have your children.”

  Ash moved close to Alex. “You’re our leader for sure, but we got to diddy now.”

  Alex agreed but as he walked away, the first Ax Man gurgled something. It was faint but it caught Alex's attention. He moved back over to the stricken attacker, who was lying on the ground in an expanding pool of blood.

  “The p-prize,” the Ax Man gurgled.

  Alex leaned down closer. “Prize?”

  “The prize for victory.”

  The Ax Man nodded, blood seeping between his teeth. “You defeated us and are entitled to your prize.”

  The Ax Man pointed at a small sack of items lying near his feet.

  Alex opened it carefully. His eyes smiled as he pulled out a map. A map of the castle and keep.

  33

  Alex was still covered in the dried blood from the fight. He turned slightly to check on Ash, several feet behind him. Her head was down, the stench of the recent battle still on her. She looked determined but more weary than before. In the near distance, Camille and Minnie kept close to each other. Alex could see they were discussing something, but he couldn’t hear what, and finally the caboose of their line was Spence.

  Spence hustled up to Minnie and Camille. “Hey, what’s up?”

  Minnie looked at Spence. “We were talking about…”

  Camille finished. “You.”

  Spence stopped them. “What about me?”

  Minnie hesitated, so Camille chimed in. “We’ve never felt this way before. I mean yes, we are heart-smacked, and want you very much, but there’s more.”

  Minnie touched Spence’s cheek. “It’s much more.”

  Spence blushed. “I don’t know what to say.”

  Camille held Spence’s hand. “We see death every day. It happens, and we know it’s not an end, but if something happens to you and Alex, here in this world…”

  Minnie finished. “We don’t want that to happen.”

  Spence was moved, but he found strength and looked them both in the eyes. “Hey. Alex and Ash have got our backs. And we’re close. We are going to get through this. Alive and intact and then we are going to fuck until we can’t breathe.”

  Camille rolled her eyes. Spence shrugged and looked at Minnie. “I ruined the moment.”

  Minnie nodded. “Yeah, but we still love you.”

  They kissed Spence on his cheek and caught up to Alex.

  Over the next rise, Alex could finally see the curtain walls that he had glimpsed during his aerial escapade.

  The massive stone fortress was more like a small city. The castle, a formidable archite
ctural jewel, sat in the middle of a sprawling medieval campus.

  Alex looked at it looming in the far distance.

  “Look at that mother,” Spence said, whistling.

  Alex traded looks with Ash. “How long do we have?”

  Ash looked at the sky, and the position of the sun, then down to her tattoo. “Three days.”

  Alex whistled to the rest of the group.

  Alex squatted down and spread open the map that he had taken from the Ax Man. The castle, which they could clearly see ahead of them, appeared to take up ten miles or more.

  Alex pointed to the castle on the map.

  “Right here will be the easiest point of entry if we stay close to the river. Once we go under this footbridge and gather on the side wall, we should be able to get through, here.”

  Ash whispered, “I’m guessing they won’t open the door for us?”

  Alex quipped, “I would open a thousand doors for you.”

  Camille groaned. “You guys are gonna make me sick.”

  “And besides, we’ve got more pressing concerns,” Minnie added. “Like how to get inside that thing.”

  Spence snapped his fingers. “What about a little trickeration with us and the ladies?”

  Alex smiled, recognition washing over him. “You mean… take the Belles in as our prisoners?”

  Spence grinned. “Am I a genius or what?”

  Ash considered this. “And if they don’t believe us?”

  Camille smiled. “Kiss and kill, baby.”

  Alex grabbed the coil of rope they’d acquired from The Man and then quickly tied up the Belles. Their hands were now bound in front. They appeared to be very secured.

  Ash put her hands behind her back.

  “Might be easier if I tie you up from the front.”

  Ash whispered to Alex. “But I like it better from behind.”

  “The tied up part?”

  “Guess you’ll have to find out if we ever get what we came for, right?”

  “Yeah, I’d like that.”

  “Even if it kills you?”

  Alex pulled her hair back roughly and kissed her hard.

  “Even if it kills me.”

  He tightened the ropes, and Ash blushed.

  Spence grabbed Minnie and pushed her forward with some of their gear in tow. Alex did the same with Camille and Ash.

  They moved along a small towpath that followed the bend of the river. A bank of fog edged in, obscuring portions of the curtain wall. But the guard tower was still accessible from their approach.

  Alex gestured for the others to be silent as they approached the gate and spotted movement above them. A guard with a crossbow looked down. “Stop!”

  Alex gestured. “We ask for safe passage.”

  The guard replied. “Who are you?”

  “Travelers from the city,” Alex said, fighting to make his voice sound as deep and authoritative as possible.

  Alex pointed to the Belles. “These women are mine.”

  The guard took this in and grinned. “Will you share them with me?” He pointed his crossbow at Camille.

  Alex nodded, playing along. “Perhaps. What will you give me?”

  The guard chuckled. “You know the castle has many things that anyone would desire, if you pick the right door.”

  The gate lifted and Alex ushered Spence, Ash and the Belles inside. On the other side of the fence, they were greeted by three more guards.

  The guards appeared normal, human in every respect except they were made of stone like the castle itself. The stone warriors pointed their crossbows at Alex and the rest.

  “Disarm yourself!”

  They pointed to a disarming chamber, where they were able to stow all of their weapons. The stone guards kept their crossbows on them until everyone had dropped their weapons.

  The lead guard jangled a heavy bunch of keys. They weren’t ordinary keys, but glowed with energy and he quickly secured and locked their belongings away. Alex made sure his cartouche was not visible and secured around his neck. He didn’t want to take any chances with the guards.

  Alex pointed at the keys. “I’ve never seen such beautiful work.”

  The guard’s reaction was prompt. “These keys are of no concern to you!”

  The other stone guards instantly lifted up their crossbows.

  “I grow tired of you and your women. I have decided that your journey will end here. Release the girls to me now and maybe I’ll let you live.”

  “What if I were to give you something instead,” Camille said with a sly grin.

  “It better be good,” the guard said.

  Camille reached in her pocket and pulled out the two small explosives that resembled hard candy.

  The guard eyed the objects warily. “What are they?”

  “It’s a kiss...” Camille blew a kiss and then yelled, “And a KILL!”

  Alex watched her flip minute switches on the explosives and toss them to the guard. While watching the guard’s reaction, Alex motioned and screamed, “GET DOWN!”

  The objects landed in the guard’s hands as Alex and the others dove for cover. The guards were flummoxed and didn’t follow suit as—

  BOOM!

  Two controlled detonations rang out almost simultaneously, the explosions large enough to throw the guards violently sideways.

  Alex rose, squinting from the banners of smoke and dust kicked up by the blast. He pointed to the body of the lead guard. “GRAB THE KEYS!”

  The lead guard, bloody and bruised from the blast, looked up, His eyes widened. “I knew I knew you.”

  “You don’t know me,” Alex replied, snatching the keys from the guard.

  The guard nodded. “I haven’t seen you for a bit. But I knew you would come back. Back for what doesn’t belong to you. My keys won’t give you what you want. I know of the sickle you seek.”

  Alex peered down at the guard. “Tell us where it is!”

  The guard smiled as he turned to stone, whispering one final word: “Never.”

  Alex turned, untied the Belles, and led everyone back to the disarming room where they gathered up all of their stowed gear and weaponry. They ranged around the space, wary of being seen, and spotted a stable.

  The stable door was locked. Frustrated, Alex tried one of the ancient-looking keys in the keyhole. As it entered the lock it began to glow a luminescent red which slowly turned to green as the lock creaked open.

  “Holy shit,” Alex exclaimed as they looked up at the four massive stallions inside. Their colors and appearances might not be quite what they were used to but they were definitely horses. There were names written on each of the stalls: Conquest, War, Hunger and Death.

  The three women quickly chose a horse each and saddled it up. Camille selected War, while Minnie took Hunger, but Ash chose the most beautiful and powerful stallion of all for herself, Death, leaving Conquest for the two men to share.

  Ash pulled her horse around and Alex smiled, but their joy was short-lived when a young stable boy staggered toward them, looking scared and hungry.

  Alex watched the boy closely as the boy limped up to Spence.

  Alex was wary, but Spence waved him off and that’s when it happened.

  The boy pulled out a tiny pistol and shot Spence in the chest.

  Just like that.

  Spence toppled from his horse as the boy cackled and shapeshifted into a large crow that flew off. Ash fired at the crow, but missed it as Alex dropped to the ground, watching Spence’s eyes roll over white.

  At the same moment that Spence was dying, Grimwood and Dante were standing on the edge of the water. The fawn woman lay on the grass behind them, very dead. Grimwood had squeezed the life out of her.

  “Such a beautiful creature,” Dante said, staring down at the woman. “A shame she had to cross over.”

  “But she didn’t die in vain,” Grimwood offered. “We now know where they’re headed and that the boy holds the key to finding the sickle. Literally.”


  Grimwood turned his attention to the water. “If I had my full powers I’d be able to part that,” he said, flicking a finger at the water’s edge.

  “What can you do with partial powers, sir?” Dante asked.

  Grimwood smiled and then he took Dante’s hand and began walking across the top of the water, headed toward Alex and the others.

  “If what Thomas and the woman said is true, they’re headed for a castle,” Grimwood said. “I’m thinking we’ll wait for them there and show them a little surprise.”

  Dante smiled. “I love surprises.”

  34

  Alex was paralyzed by fear, staring down at Spence whose chest was matted red. Ash and the others were screaming at him, but he could barely hear them. Then Camille shoved him aside and threw open her medic bag. She applied pressure to Spence’s wound and ripped his shirt open. The hole in his chest was small, blackened, and puckered. She rubbed a salve around it and then inserted a wad of cotton in the wound that staunched the blood flow. She covered the wound in a translucent patch that suctioned to Spence’s flesh as Alex watched his friend’s chest slowly rise and fall. “This is worse than Ash’s wound. We need to get him help.”

  “We need to move then,” Ash said.

  Alex hoisted Spence onto his horse and they took off, galloping like the wind across the land that lay outside of the castle. Alex looked down at Spence who lay across his knees. “You’re going to make it,” Alex said. “You’re not going to die.”

  “Even if I do,” Spence rasped, “It was a helluva last ride, amigo.”

  They charged down over a ridgeline, slicing across a field of tall grass and that’s when Alex noticed it.

  Spence was no longer moving.

  “STOP!” Alex cried.

  The horses skidded to a stop and Alex pulled Spence to the ground, overcome with emotion. The Belles dropped to their knees and Camille began working on Spence, checking his pulse, giving him CPR, all to no avail.

  Alex turned, tears in his eyes.

  He couldn’t believe it.

  Spence was gone.

  Camille and Minnie lowered themselves, and each kissed Spence on the forehead. Alex felt white-hot rage welling up inside. He wanted to strike out at everybody he blamed for Spence’s death, including Grimwood, Dante, and all the others.

 

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