After a few minutes, the door opened, and he came face to face with Betty.
‘Mr Whitworth, come on through. It’s good you’re here. Your wife has been upset. We lost one of our members of staff the other day. Car accident. Eve loved Ann. It’s hit her hard.’
You mean I hit her hard! He almost smirked at the thought.
Betty’s voice had sounded even more rough than normal, the choke of tears threatening her composure.
‘Sorry. We all loved Ann,’ she added by way of explanation.
‘I’m so sorry for your loss.’ His words were smooth and fell from his lips like leaves from a tree in autumn. ‘A car accident, you say? That’s just awful.’
‘Whoever hit her just drove off. How could someone do that, Mr Whitworth, hit someone with their car and just drive away?’
‘I suppose it takes all sorts to make up the world, Betty. Who’s to say why a person would do such a thing?’ His words were laced with sarcastic undertones. He knew perfectly well why people would do such things.
‘Your wife is in her bed. She hasn’t stopped crying since she was informed.’
His stomach actually felt like it contained a swarm of agitated butterflies. She would know it was him. The second he walked in she would know. And she would also know it was all her fault.
Closing the door, he walked around the bed and faced his wife.
Eve looked up at him, and for the first time in her life, her eyes showed anger, not fear. She would get him for killing Ann. She didn’t know how she knew it was him, but she did, and she had every intention of making him pay. Her body might not be willing, but her mind was. She would make someone understand.
She could see John’s surprise, and she knew well that his anger would be simmering beneath the surface.
Her husband grabbed her hair roughly, bending in so close she could smell the faint whiff of the breath mint he’d eaten hours before.
‘You know your place, Eve. Don’t even think that you could outsmart me. You’re nothing but a pathetic woman. Matthew agrees, he didn’t even want to come and see you today. I had to take him to your sister’s early just so he didn’t have to come.’
Her anger flickered, then rekindled. This was the first step on her road to defiance. She had to do something. Had to stop her son from turning into his father, had to get revenge for her lovely sweet Ann.
He went to unzip his pants. Eve clamped her jaw shut. She couldn’t do much, but she knew how to piss him off.
He shook his head as she kept her jaw shut, and grabbed her face hard, his bony fingers digging into her cheeks.
‘Open your mouth, Eve. You know your place.’
Gritting her teeth together she kept it closed, watching as eventually he let her go and sat down beside her, staring at her in contempt.
Inside her mind she laughed at him. It was a small victory, but it was a victory, nonetheless.
Newstead Residential Home, Sunderland
John was tired. He felt like his mind was spread thin, like jam over too much bread, and his thoughts were clogged with images of death and pain. It had been ages since he’d slept well, and it showed. Heavy purple bags sat under his bloodshot eyes. For once, he was glad Matthew was at Carolyn’s for a few nights. He felt like he needed the break, not that it would end up being that way.
He’d had the phone call from the home at 6 a.m. – his wife had fallen out of bed and hit her head. He’d arrived as the carers were stemming the bleeding from her temple, the red liquid covering the side of her face. Because of the drugs she was on, her blood was thin, and took a while to clot properly. She’d already been upset, but the moment he walked in she’d pretty much started climbing the walls, not literally of course, and as they loaded her into the waiting ambulance, she was hysterical.
Irritation simmered beneath the surface. He’d gone to bed too late to deal with a crisis this early in the morning. Pushing his car into gear, he followed the ambulance out of the car park.
It was going to be a long day.
Chapter Fourteen
The Bridges Shopping Centre, Sunderland – 8 June
He sat in the café nursing a lukewarm cappuccino, watching the people pass by without a care in the world. He could sit here all day, had on many occasions now in fact. He found it calming, retaining anonymity while observing everyday people going about their mundane lives.
There was a reason for him to be in the shopping centre today, though. Clarice had told him she was going shopping with her friends. He was in the prime position to watch, knowing that many of the students shopped in places like Primark, Top Shop, and River Island. This particular café was the only one with a 240-degree view. By sitting here, he could see the three corridors, lined with shops, leading to the central point – the food court.
He’d been there for almost an hour now: the waitress glancing over at him periodically to see if she would have a chance to get a better tip by offering him a refill. He already had the tip put aside in his pocket – always tipped the people who earned the least in unfulfilling jobs.
He felt a shiver pass down his spine. She was here. Somewhere. He just knew it.
Hearing his phone ring, he pulled it from his pocket and answered.
‘Mr Whitworth? It’s Betty from the care home. Just letting you know Eve is back with us – the hospital kept her in overnight for observations, but the patient transport dropped her off about half an hour ago. Just wanted you to know.’
‘Thanks.’ He hung up the phone without further pleasantries – she didn’t deserve them. No one at that home did.
As Clarice came into view, approaching the large doorway to Primark with two other girls, his skin started to prickle with anticipation. Dressed in leggings with a flowing low-cut top, she looked irresistible. She’d agreed to meet him in a couple of hours, to pass over the class notes in person. And as much as he wanted to just take her then, make her his; he knew he had to take the notes and leave.
It wasn’t time yet.
When he left, he would text her, say how beautiful she’d looked. Girls loved to believe flattery, even when it was false. They were such vain creatures.
He decided it was time he bought some supplies. He called the waitress over, flashing her one of his widest smiles, and handed her payment along with a generous tip.
The waitress smiled back, but then shivered at the cold feeling that spread suddenly through her from her very bones. It was a large tip, one from anyone else she would have happily pocketed, but the coins in her hand felt…unpleasant. She made sure he wasn’t watching and put them in the charity box beside the till instead.
Deciding he would go for value over quality, heading into the Pound Shop for a pack of cable ties. He’d bet his last penny that Clarice was a fighter. And he wanted her to be. The harder they fought, the harder they fell when they finally accepted their fate. And it was such a turn on, watching them struggle against the bonds with gaffer tape stuck across their loud mouths.
As he handed over the money to the cashier, he smiled, more of a grimace really, the scar at the side of his mouth distorting his features.
Digital Forensics Lab, Sunderland HQ
His proximity was unnerving. Ben felt more flustered than she’d felt in a long time. What the hell is wrong with me? Jacob’s leg was so close to hers she could feel his body heat radiating outwards and into the padding on the outside of her thigh. She could hear the pounding of her pulse in her ears, rhythmic, like the sound of a drum, and she wondered if it was possible at all that he could hear it too. She glanced at him sideways, a brief look, catching his face set in utter concentration as he told her what he was doing with the mobile phone. She’d actually zoned out about five minutes back.
He was too close.
She couldn’t do this, he would know. And she didn’t understand it, anyway. Confused, Ben pushed her chair back.
‘You OK?’ he asked, turning a little on the swivel seat to look at her. The grey of his eyes darkened, a
nd she thought he saw attraction, but it was instantly masked, so she figured she’d probably imagined it. She knew her own expression had responded, saw the flicker of a response in his face. Having him so close was encouraging thoughts she really shouldn’t be having. The seconds stretched out as she didn’t respond to his question, their eyes locked on each other.
Ben had to move. If she didn’t, she risked leaning in and kissing him. Kissing him? Where had that come from? Now it took all her energy trying not to think about how that would feel. She really had to move. Pushing the chair back she stood, breaking eye contact after what seemed like an eternity.
‘Bathroom,’ she said, aware he was still staring.
Jacob didn’t trust himself to speak. He watched as she strode down the office, her hips swaying gently, and her backside… Whoa! Get a grip! She’s not a piece of meat. He frowned to himself. That moment had him wanting to grab her arms and pull her in, lock his lips to hers and never let her go. He felt his body betray his thoughts that it couldn’t happen. Thank goodness he only had to do this for the rest of the day.
Groaning out loud now, he knew ‘the rest of the day’ would be the longest rest of the day ever. It was a long time until 5 p.m. Pulling the job allocation sheet from the file at his side, he marked up a few more jobs. If he was busy and focussed, he wouldn’t be thinking about her.
Yeah right.
The day was dragging. Jacob was hot and bothered, and not from the dodgy heating system in the station. Ben couldn’t sit still; she was up and down constantly and it was unnerving him. Making a flash decision, he decided it was time for a field trip.
‘Come on, let’s go do a house call,’ he said, grabbing his coat off the rack behind his desk, and his stick from its place by the wall.
‘A house call?’ asked Ben, her voice a little startled. ‘Digital do house calls?’
‘On occasion, yeah. The PolSA team have just done a house search, some bigwig in and organised crime family. They’re wanting his system seized but think it might be booby trapped if they disconnect. We’ll go have a look and see if that’s the case, and if it’s not, then they’ll get one of the CSIs in to disconnect and label it up for transportation. It’s not something we do regularly, but it gets us out of the office for an hour.’
Ben nodded as she followed him out. She watched as he limped in front of her. She’d been wondering what had happened to him since she’d first seen him in the classroom.
Settling into the passenger seat of his automatic-control Skoda, she decided to bite the bullet and just ask.
‘Were you injured?’
Her voice sounded small to her ears, and for a moment she wondered whether he had actually heard her. She opened her mouth to ask again, then clamped it shut as he opened his mouth to answer.
‘Are you always so outspoken?’ Realising how exasperated he sounded, he forced himself to relax. She didn’t know the impact she was having on him, how could she? Naturally she was curious. He glanced at her sideways and responded again. ‘Sorry, I’m a bit snappy today.’
‘Time of the month?’ she joked lightly. ‘It’s fine. I’m just nosy. I learnt a long time ago that if you don’t ask you don’t get. Sometimes I ask when I shouldn’t and develop a severe case of foot in mouth syndrome. You don’t have to answer if you don’t want to.’
‘No, it’s OK, I shouldn’t have snapped like that. Yes, I was injured. I used to serve in the army, paratrooper regiment. I was on assignment in Afghanistan with my team when an IED went off.’
His voice was curt and to the point, and Ben felt like an idiot. She had absolutely no right asking what had happened, putting him in a position where he felt he had to answer. She wasn’t stupid, had seen the pain spear through his grey eyes prior to him answering. Knowing she’d been the cause of that pain made her feel even worse.
‘I shouldn’t have asked. I’m sorry if I upset you.’
‘I’m not upset. It’s just… well, if I’m honest, no one’s ever come straight out and just asked what happened. You threw me. You’re pretty direct, Cassidy.’ His grin softened the use of her surname.
Ben felt her face flush. His tone had lightened, almost on the verge of being teasing.
‘That’s down to Aoife. She brought me up to always ask questions. Grace is starting to do the same too. Maybe I need to learn when not to put my foot in my mouth though.’
‘You didn’t. It’s fine, honest, if anything… it’s refreshing. Normally women run screaming when how I came to limp comes into conversation.’
Now it was Ben’s eyes that narrowed in on him, his expression hadn’t changed, his face still neutral, but the slight tick at the side of his jaw told her more than he intended her to know.
He believes that. He thinks he’s not attractive. What the hell? Has he even looked in the mirror?
‘Well maybe the women who run screaming aren’t the women you should have in your life. We all have scars; lord knows I do at any rate. It helps define us into the people we are. Other people should either accept that or leave well enough alone in my opinion.’
‘You sound like my sister,’ he said, giving her a quick grin. ‘TJ’s always saying exactly the same thing.’
‘TJ? Is that the woman in the suit who was in the lecture hall the other day? Sounds like a wise woman to me.’
‘Teresa-Jane. She’s always been called TJ. Yeah, that’s her. She decided to surprise me with a late supper. Wise maybe, but she can be a pain in the ass. All she ever goes on about is seeing past the damn leg and into the future.’
‘Well, maybe it’s time you did that. You can’t live in the past, and you can’t let the past define your future. We’re all the people we are, scars, limps, and all. I think living is about accepting that we aren’t perfect, nobody is. Surely it’s more about accepting the good with the bad and just living?’
Her words pierced straight into his heart like an arrow, and not even thinking, he pulled the car over and turned to face her.
‘You really believe that, don’t you? That everyone is different and has a right to be? That the past doesn’t define us? But what if it does define us? If I hadn’t been injured, I’d never have gone into digital forensics, I wouldn’t be working for the police. I’d still be working the rounds in whichever country I was dispatched to with a team of men and women at my side.’
‘And you don’t have that now? You could look at it another way. If you hadn’t been injured, you wouldn’t be working in digital forensics,’
He looked a little puzzled. ‘That’s what I just said?’
‘Jacob, you’re good at what you do. You’re a natural teacher who has the ability to dumb down the intricate knowledge for people like me who don’t have a clue. You work with a close-knit team, people who see the worst parts of humanity and still maintain the kind of working relationship that people only get when dealing with stressful situations. Getting injured serving your country is awful. The things you saw were no doubt awful too, but that career paved the way for where you are now, for who you are now. Don’t minimise that by undermining the person it led you to become.’
It was a long speech, and Ben felt like she had maybe gone too far. But she’d worked so hard not to let her past get in the way of her future that she just couldn’t abide it when people thought what they did was a waste. She saw it all the time, the cleaner in the police station, the young lasses whose houses she visited as a CSI. Ben firmly believed you made your own life, and if you weren’t happy with it only you could change it. She’d told herself that so many times over the years that it had become her personal mantra.
She took in a deep breath as Jacob replied, ‘You do sound just like TJ. I don’t mean to undermine what I do now, and I know I work with a good team, the best in fact. I enjoy my work and I’m good at it, and you’re right. Maybe I should stop focussing so much on the things I can’t change and start looking at the things I can. Like the fact I’ll never walk without a stick, but at least I’m walking. Righ
t?’
Ben heard the hesitation in his voice; saw the uncertainty in his eyes. ‘Nobody said it was easy, Jacob.’ Without her even realising, her hand had drifted and settled itself on his upper thigh, providing comfort and reassurance instinctively.
She felt her skin tingle at the heat from his, and she couldn’t help but want to keep her hand there forever. She was caught in his gaze, her own eyes widening like the proverbial deer caught in the headlights. He shifted position, and she panicked.
Tearing her gaze from his she looked down, pulled her hand back from his leg and grasped it with her other one, her fingers moving together as the nerves took over.
‘What just happened?’ he asked softly, a little confused by her reaction. Did I misread that look? I thought I saw a spark, but now she’s pulled back. I must have been wrong. Shit. Ben sat wringing her hands together like he’d just made the biggest mistake ever.
‘Nothing. Nothing happened. I…erm, well…I may have given you the wrong impression. I’m not interested in a relationship, or whatever, I was just…erm, well…’ Her voice trailed off into silence.
‘Relationship? Hell, Ben, all I did was look at you. I wasn’t asking for anything else. I barely know you, for Christ’s sake.’ Even as the words left his mouth, he felt the hurt. The realisation that she accepted his injury as part of him must have made him lose his marbles for a moment. Granted he hadn’t asked for a relationship, but for the second time that day, he’d wanted nothing more than to kiss her. And it appeared she knew that and didn’t agree.
Ben heard the hurt in his tone and kicked herself for being the cause. The truth was being so close to him and having such a real conversation had touched her heart. She’d seen his eyes flash with want, and she wanted him too. And that scared the shit out of her. Despite her belief that the past doesn’t define you, with her it sometimes did. No matter how hard she tried to get away from it, she was reminded of it every single day. But it didn’t give her the right to hurt the man sitting beside her. She’d just sat there and preached at him, and he’d taken in what she said just to have her shoot him down. Smart, Ben, really smart. Tell him. Now.
I've Been Watching You Page 10