Complicated

by M. M. Koenig

  I cut through the yards to return to our house. My terror increased as the car picked up speed to get around the corner after I disappeared out of sight. Between the agony in my chest and my own mental berating, my body nearly collapsed. I pushed even more to get home. I truly sucked at being a mole because I didn’t even know when people had their eyes on me. The pain subsided as a wave of self-loathing took over. I was in way over my head, without the option of even determining why anyone would ever be interested in me.

  It’s your own damn fault. You’ve been on a crash course of destruction. There hasn’t been one sound decision you’ve made this year. It was bound to catch up with you at some point.

  Fuck off! My subconscious was turning into my worst enemy. I sprinted towards the sanctuary of our backyard. Whoever it was had lost me in the multiple yards I had weaved through to get back home. I ran up our front steps, with each one stabbing at my heart. I entered the house and paused in the living room, with my hands on my knees to ease the pressure in my chest. I didn’t allow myself very much time to recover from the pain. I shuffled upstairs and shrugged out of my running gear on my way into the bathroom.

  My emotions settled solely on the guilt that had begun in my stomach, but was starting to fill my entire body. With the scalding hot water cascading over me, I scrubbed at my body even harder, trying to wash away that feeling. I threw on a black skirt and black button-down shirt. Dressing in black seemed appropriate. I could very well be on the way to my own funeral if Ethan had been lying to me this entire time.

  CHAPTER THREE

  Colliding With You

  I about had a hissy fit from the slowness of the morning. I was anxious to talk things out with Ethan. Connor noticed my agitation and told me to take a fifteen-minute break. Utterly embarrassed, I walked to the break room to distract myself with some coffee. Usually a good cup was enough to comfort me, but today it was as fruitless as everything else.

  I wasn’t paying attention on my way out as a coarse set of hands snatched me. With my breath held, I prepared for round two with Ian. After absorbing his face, I gasped in shock. Someone had kicked the shit out of him. Gashes lined his cheeks and dark bruises circled his eyes. Ian threw me against the wall. My back absorbed the harsh blow and I willed myself not to fall over from the spreading pain.

  “If I find out that you were behind this, I’ll kill you myself,” Ian seethed.

  He pinned me to the wall, with no reservations about how many people were probably watching us by now. His grip around my arms tightened and my circulation was close to being cut off. I bit the insides of my cheeks to prevent myself from screaming or crying. Between my back and arms, I was in a world of hurt. My eyes remained focused on Ian, and it took all my effort to remain calm. I tried to squirm away, because the rage emanating from him didn’t promise good things for me. The agony in my body increased as I noticed the drugged-out look in his eyes. He was on more than pot today.

  “I didn’t have anything to do with it. If your PI skills were better, you’d know I went home last night,” I retorted, wrestling against his hold.

  His eyes grew wider as he became more enraged. He towered over me, his hands squeezing off the last bit of blood flowing through my arms. With the loss of circulation, my hands started to turn white and needles coasted along my veins as if my arms had completely fallen asleep. I tried wiggling my hands, but it only brought more waves of pain.

  Seriously, Mia! You’re smart-ass mouth needs to remain silent at times. Ian is about a second away from clocking you. Tone it down before you really have issues.

  Ian stared at me with a slick grin across his face. I glared at him, with no intention of backing down. I gave a shit less what my bitchy subconscious was screaming at me. It scared me more than anything that I was in this situation with him again, but I wasn’t about to let him see it. Ian arched his arm back. I held my breath with my eyes on him to prepare to step in one direction or the other. If I was lucky, I stood a chance at sidestepping his attack.

  He never had a chance to swing through. Against my will, my eyes watered, but I caught enough to see someone toss him across the hallway. He crashed against the wall, but sprang up quickly with his fists swinging. It shocked me to the core when I saw Sean restraining Ian. Sean had a dark look in his eyes as he went between Ian and me, seemingly torn on how to handle the situation. Lucky for him, Connor appeared around the corner to take charge of it.

  “Mia, go back upstairs. I’ll take it from here,” he instructed.

  There were at least a good fifty people that paid witness to what just happened. Embarrassed, I briskly walked towards the stairs. They continued staring at me with each step I took. I picked up my pace to get away from being the center of attention.

  As I reached the stairwell, my body started to buckle from the pain in my back and arms. My breathing became sporadic. I wasn’t sure if it was from the physical pain or my absolute terror. I was about ready to collapse and let it all win. To make matters even worse, my cell started vibrating in my skirt pocket. I swallowed the rising acid in my windpipe before retrieving it. My heart hammered rapidly as I opened up my text messages.

  I’ll deal with Ian. You’d better figure out something to tell Ethan. Don’t for a second consider telling him the truth. If you think being tossed into a wall hurt, you have no idea what types of pain exist in this world. I’m a man that loves to see people tortured. Remember that Mia. Don’t jeopardize your invite to that meeting.

  I ran upstairs and found the closest bathroom to get rid of the little bit of food that was in my system. Sweat trickled down my back as the pressure in my chest cut off my airway entirely. I wheezed continuously as my brain did its best to find sanity again.

  How does he know all these things? There must be someone else besides Ian watching. What the hell does he have on me?

  I straightened up, his words echoing in my mind. There was no need to draw any more attention to myself. Fortunately, the bathroom was empty. I walked over to the sink and gripped it tightly. I took deep breaths to ease the pain in my body before rolling up my sleeves to look at my arms. Ian’s handprints were there, but they were fading, so it probably wouldn’t bruise too badly. I didn’t bother checking my back. I had no doubt it probably matched what my chest had looked like last night. My eyes watered for a second before I blinked to stop the tears. This was my fault, so acting like a crybaby wasn’t an option.

  Once I was confident that my expression resembled only indifference, I got my ass back to Connor’s team. He subtly gestured for me to join everyone in the conference room. I hurried over to them and took a seat. The team looked at me, completely confused by Connor’s rigid stance at the head of the table. I ignored them and picked up the material that we were set to work on next. The guys stared at me for a while, but eventually let it go and we got down to work. It kept my mind busy; and for that, I was more than grateful.

  When a smooth hand brushed along the back of my neck, I nearly fell out of my seat. The abrupt flash of heat following it sent electric waves running through me. I glanced up at Ethan with a timid smile. His lips remained unmoving, as a coldness centered in his eyes. My heart sank immediately. It didn’t look like things were heading in a promising direction for us. Ethan left my side to speak to Connor.

  My mind tried to remain positive as I stared at him, unashamedly. Ethan was breathtaking in his black suit. My eyes lingered on his muscular chest. The definition of his upper body was more than clear, even with the suit on, but what really caught my eye was the scorching red tie. For the first time today, my body experienced something other than pain as heady desire filled me. Ethan caught me staring. His lips twitched, but that was it. Connor saw the brief exchange and looked at me. My eyes grew wide at what his were asking. I gave a quick headshake.

  There’s no way in hell I’m agreeing to that idea. It’s obvious Ethan’s already pissed. He’d probably kill any person in his path if Connor disclosed that tidbit of the morning.
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br />   Connor took a noticeable breath, but remained focused on his conversation with Ethan. He glanced over at me again, clearly upset. After they finished their discussion, Connor took his chair to get back to work and Ethan motioned for me to follow him. I gave the team a genuine smile as I got up. They stared at me, intrigued about what was going on around them, judging by the looks on their faces. I shrugged it off and met Ethan in the entryway.

  He didn’t say a word on our way to his office. Ever the gentleman, he opened the door and gestured for me to go in before him. I sighed before walking past him. Every part of me began to pray that his frostiness would go away. He followed me in and shut his door quickly. I tossed my purse in the empty chair at his desk before taking a seat. I massaged my temples to ease the pressure in my head. I hoped he would just say something to put me out of my misery. Ethan approached me from behind, delicately taking my hand and pulling me into his chest with a thin a smile.

  “I missed your big brown eyes,” he whispered.

  He ran his fingers tenderly across my cheeks before circling my lips, then softly pressed his own against mine. The mix of emotions in me began to fade as the sizzling fire he had created with that simple kiss took over. I leaned in to deepen it, but he stepped away.

  “Not here. I just wanted to say hello. It’s impossible not to lay my hands on your flawless skin and luscious lips,” Ethan said with a full smile.

  I inhaled quickly as his dimples slowly appeared. I wasn’t at ease with much, but his touch brought the first sense of peace to my body in the last four days. Ethan pulled my chair back for me. My knees were already weak from that brief moment, so I more or less collapsed into it. Ethan let his fingers dawdle on my right wrist before picking it up to place a soft kiss on my scar. It made me wonder what was on his mind. He seemed as mixed up about everything as I did.

  “I missed everything about you,” I declared, soaking in his beautiful brown eyes. They truly were the windows to his soul, and right now, it was clear that it was afflicted.

  Ethan took his seat and brought his computer to life. He indicated for me to do the same with the laptop at the edge of his desk. His smile disappeared and his face became emotionless. Apparently, that was about as far as any personal matters were going to go. It promised to be a torturous few hours until we got to his place to hash things out.

  “I want you to work on some editing,” he directed, flicking on his computer. “We won’t be working past four today. Let’s try to get out as much as we can in the next few hours. I’ll order some lunch. What would you like?”

  I shrugged. “I’m not really hungry.”

  Ethan scowled as his eyes ran over my body. The scrutiny behind them made me wither in my seat and cooled the hot-and-bothered feelings that were there a minute ago. His frown became even deeper as he hastily got up and left the room. He returned moments later and took his seat as fast as he had departed from it.

  We worked in silence, which was fine with me. I didn’t dare argue with the fury covering his face. I refrained from looking at him or making any sound whatsoever. He was flipping between emotions far too quickly for me to determine what was triggering them. After an hour, a knock startled me. My inadvertent jump made the vein in his forehead throb.

  Damn! My shaky nerves are betraying me. I can already tell he suspects something is up. I’m tempted to just tell him the truth about Ian now.

  I shook off the voice in my head. That idea was absolutely insane. It wasn’t an option while we were here. I’d just have to deal with his volatile attitude until tonight. Ethan shook his head on his way to the door. He grabbed a bag from his receptionist and slammed the door in her face. At least he wasn’t being an ass to just me – it seemed to be across the board.

  He slid a carton of food in front of me. I instantly recognized the scent of sweet-and-sour chicken. My heart warmed against the iciness in the room. He had ordered the first real meal we had shared together. Ethan offered a slight smile before taking his seat and opening his food.

  “This looks fantastic,” I said quietly.

  Ethan nodded, but displayed no signs of wanting to carry on a conversation. I sighed before picking up my fork. I stabbed it into a piece of chicken and took a big bite. My stomach grumbled for more so I dove in faster. After finishing a quarter of the food, I dropped my fork and closed the carton. He scowled before finishing off the rest of his. His up-and-down behavior was enough to keep my head spinning for the rest of the day.

  I leaned back in my seat and got back to work. Ethan continued to show that he had no interest in talking to me, so I kept quiet. After what seemed like an eternity, the clock hit four. I didn’t waste a second in shutting everything down. I glanced at Ethan, with my nerves on the climb. He was deep in thought, with the same scowl still on his face.

  “Umm … Ethan,” I said shakily.

  He glanced up from this computer screen to see me standing across from him. He glimpsed at the clock and started to close out of applications unenthusiastically. At this point, I wasn’t even sure he wanted to spend the rest of the evening with me. The last few hours had left me more than confused.

  “If you want to keep working, you can. I have to stop off at home anyway.”

  “Why do you need to go home?”

  Ethan ran his hands across the light stubble on his chin. Unwilling to lie to him anymore, I rounded his desk, gently took his hand, and held it tightly.

  “I forgot my bag, and I need to check on Bri. She shared some news with me when we were in Miami. It’s important for me to be a better friend to her,” I said softly.

  I gazed into his eyes, hoping that he understood. His forehead creased and his eyes held nothing but distrust. It didn’t make it any easier for me to determine what he was thinking.

  “What’s going on Mia?”

  “Bri’s pregnant.”

  Ethan sighed, but his face finally softened. He reached for my other hand and rested them on his chest. His heart was pounding steadily. Each beat eased the tension in my nerves.

  “Go check on her, but hurry to my place.”

  I noticed his eyes had more clarity than moments ago, as he leaned within inches of my lips. My breath hitched as he softly grazed his tongue across them. I opened my mouth for him to deepen the kiss. Ethan heartily obliged. Every part of me surrendered to his wintergreen taste and toxic smell. My body became red-hot with each swipe of his tongue. Several minutes later, he had left me breathless. Between the intensity of that kiss and his ever-hopping emotional changes, I was beside myself on what would come next with him.

  I slowly pulled away. He grudgingly released me, but kept a tight grip on my hand. As we walked past my chair, he grabbed my purse for me. We strolled to the door, not saying a word. Ethan softly kissed my knuckles before opening it. I walked through, fully expecting him to remain, but he followed me out. The silence between us continued as we left the building and crossed the parking lot to my car. He opened the door before taking my hand to help me in. His tenderness had my stomach fluttering and my pulse tripling.

  “Please drive carefully. I’ll expect to see you soon.”

  I nodded with wide eyes. Air had eluded me after our intimate exchange, so it didn’t surprise me when my next words rasped out. “I won’t be long. I’ll call on the way.”

  Ethan stepped away as I backed out. On my drive home, I took deep breaths to catch my bearings. After our afternoon, it was hard to say what direction he’d take us in tonight.

  It surprised Bri when I walked in the house, but she didn’t have much time to talk. She was running late for class and took off shortly after I got there. She knew immediately after seeing my face that I was nervous about this evening and made me promise to update her tomorrow. As she walked out, I took the stairs two at a time and hustled to my bedroom. I grabbed an empty bag from my closet and tossed in my dark-red peplum dress. I found a pair of black heels and threw them in with the rest of my bathroom and makeup supplies. With everything packed,
I hit the lights and left the house.

  As I drove to Ethan’s apartment, my stomach became an empty pit. I called him, but he didn’t answer. The hole in my stomach grew even deeper. Downtown sprang up quicker than usual, and before I knew it I was parking in his garage. I killed the engine before gathering my things and walking over to the elevator. Like my ride, it was far too fast. I walked out of the elevator and gave myself a mental pep talk to ease my hammering heart. My hands went into my nervous tic mode as my fingers tore away at my cuticles. After reaching his door, I curled my sweaty hand into a fist and knocked lightly.

  Moments later, Ethan opened the door with a crooked grin. The expression on his face lit up every part of me. The look in his eyes told me that I had caught him off guard. He quickly took my hand and ushered me inside. On my way in, Ethan took my bag and set it down in the hallway. I was far too distracted by his living room to thank him for it.

  The window that filled much of the back wall had the blinds partially drawn. Ethan had lit the fireplace, and it was crackling in time with the candles flickering around the room. His surround sound was streaming the playlist he had made for me. The fragile strings of my heart started to slowly come together as I gazed around the room in awe. I blinked several times to try and stop myself crying. My doubts about our future together started to fade. My love for him filled every corner of my heart as I began to feel complete again. I glanced at him to see that he was carefully watching me. I offered a shy smile. His eyes sparkled as he gazed back.

  “You caught me in the middle of getting ready. I thought you were going to call?” His nose crinkled as his lips slipped into a sexy smile.

  I bit my lip before laughing softly. “I did call. It ran to your voicemail.”

  Ethan patted his pants pockets before slapping his forehead. “It would help to keep my phone on me. I’ll find it later. I just finished making supper, so let’s eat while the food is still hot. You didn’t have nearly enough for lunch. You will eat decently this evening.”