by M. M. Koenig
“What are you doing?”
“I’m going to walk. I need the extra time,” I replied quietly. Bri looked torn as she glanced between her car and me. I rolled my eyes. “I’m not going to run. I’ll meet you at the house.”
“You better. Or so help me God, I won’t hesitate to run you over if you try to do anything else stupid,” Bri grumbled, getting in her car.
I walked slowly towards the house. I was sure by the time I got there that Jayden would have more information. I’d about had my fill, so I was in no rush to add anything else to the ever-piling stack of buried secrets. As I neared our yard, I saw all three boys outside talking with Bri. I made my way towards their less than pleased faces.
“Mia, if you ever do something like that again, I’m going to kill you!” Jackson shouted.
I held up a hand. “Before anyone else chimes in, I’m going upstairs to take a shower.”
I walked into the house without a look back. As I shuffled upstairs, my lips curled into a small smile. My friends’ actions made it clear that no matter how far I ran they’d be by my side. On my way into the bathroom, I stripped down and tossed my clothes in the trash before going straight for the whirlpool. For what laid ahead, I needed the soothing jets to relax my aching muscles. It reminded me of all my years playing sports. My body felt like it had gone through two-a-days. I poured the salts that were supposed to have healing powers into the water and scoffed at the thought of them actually working. I wasn’t sure if that was possible any more. I hopped in and rested my head against a rolled towel. The one thing I’d been pushing aside for hours filled my mind.
Ethan – isn’t he even more of a mystery?
Our conversations out west ran through my mind. I suspected Ethan had known who I was all along, and fought off the resulting tears. I refused to cry over him – not with everything else. My heart began to beat faster as he consumed my thoughts. I was still in love with him despite the fact that he had more than likely lied to me in an inexcusable way.
Aren’t we perfect for each other? We’re both liars and we lied to each other in horrific ways. Stop Mia! You don’t know for sure yet!
I was far too tired to have the good angel and bad angel shout endlessly, so I stopped my thoughts from going any deeper on Ethan’s place in this mess. Like everything else, I had no idea what lay ahead when it came to him, and I wasn’t ready to have those pieces fall into place either. I reached for the remote on the table near the tub to turn on some music. I freed my mind in the hope that it would help with the days to come. I didn’t have very long to mull over all this information. I had no clue what the right choices were any more. It was hard to consider what was right or wrong when there was so much deception entangled with my very existence. I ran my hand over my scar, wondering why this was coming out now. Trying to figure it out exhausted me about as much as it gutted me, and then my eyes lost the will to stay open.
Without warning, Bri burst into the bathroom. I remained underwater and stared at her in disbelief. She blushed and took a seat on the vanity.
“You’ve been in here forever,” she remarked nonchalantly.
I raised my eyebrows. “And?”
Bri defiantly crossed her arms.
I rolled my eyes. “Did you think I jumped out the window?”
She narrowed hers. “Look, we aren’t putting anything past you at this point.”
I snorted. “Bri, it’s a two-story house.”
“It’s not like you haven’t done crazier things in the last twenty-four hours,” she snapped.
“Fine, can you get out of here so I can get out?”
“All right, I’m going. We need to get moving soon.”
I sat up in a rush and grabbed a towel from the rack. In my stupor, I’d shut out everything – including Micah. Bri hopped off the vanity with a careful eye on me, apparently reading my mind.
“There hasn’t been a change in Micah’s condition. His mom called an hour ago to give Trey an update. He told her to keep him posted, since you don’t have your phone with you,” Bri said softly before exiting.
My feet felt like cement slabs as I stepped out. The upside was I was no longer filthy. The downside was it had awakened every part of me that had become desensitized. Every vein and nerve-ending surged with an exorbitant amount of agony. It made me want the numbness back, because my knees were about ready to buckle under the heavy weight of everything. I caught my reflection in the mirror. I was clean on the outside, but my insides remained dirty. It made me wonder if all the poor decisions I’d made in these last few months hadn’t been inevitable, considering my genealogy. Maybe I was innately evil, so the selfishness and the lies were natural. When the murmurs in the hall grew louder, I forced myself out of my daze.
I opened the door and poked my head out to find the four of them seated along the walls. They looked as exhausted as I felt. I ignored them on my way into my room. I changed into a pair of fresh jeans, another hooded sweatshirt, and my black leather jacket before tossing on a pair of sneakers that didn’t have blood on them.
On my way out, I stopped at my desk to grab Ethan’s shirt. It was the same T-shirt from our first weekend together. I hadn’t had the heart to wash it. The smell brought me comfort when I wasn’t with him. As I sniffed it, there was still a faint trace of his scent. The sense of love I always felt when I was with him swam through me, but it also brought an overpowering sense of doubt.
When I entered the hallway, they sprang to their feet to follow me to the stairs while muttering under their breaths. My anger soared as I stopped mid-step, almost causing us to cascade downstairs like dominos. “My life may have gone to shit but my hearing is still intact. Stop talking about me like I can’t hear you,” I snapped before stomping down the remaining steps.
I stormed through the living room, out the front door, and sat on the porch. Bri stopped next to me as the boys went past us. They shoved their hands in their pockets and refrained from looking at me as they circled us off. I rested my elbows on my knees and waved my hands to the side in demand for someone to speak.
Jackson sighed. “Jayden is done, so we can go over there whenever you’re ready.”
“If I’m getting a choice, I’d rather go to the hospital first.”
Trey kicked a few rocks before looking at me. I tossed a hand in the air for him to throw in his two-cents. I was growing madder by the minute. I knew they were trying to help, but it was my life that took the severe blows every time we went on a crusade for the truth. The bloody mess inside of me screamed for a little break to repair the damage from earlier. I no longer had to wonder what a hand would feel like when a grenade went off in it. I had a pretty good idea, since every inch inside of me felt as if it had been blown to smithereens. It was a miracle anything continued to work, considering how badgered I felt.
“Mia, it makes more sense to go to Jayden’s,” Trey reasoned.
“Trey’s right. You should just get it over with so we can deal with what’s coming,” Shane agreed, his face emotionless.
Bri wrapped her arm around me before resting her head against my shoulder. “It’s your choice Mia, but you can’t keep running for much longer,” she said in a soft whisper.
I inhaled deeply. A big part of me wanted to remain in the unknown. In the darkness, I could at least keep from falling to the ground. Hearing Jayden out would involve learning more about Ethan’s company. I wanted to hold on to the little bit of love I still had in my heart. I wasn’t entirely sure those feelings would be there after I heard everything.
“We can go to Jayden’s but we’re stopping at the hospital first. My car is unlocked and my phone is in it,” I answered defiantly. The boys didn’t seem satisfied. I shrugged and got up. “Take it or leave it,” I said, crossing my arms.
“It’s not going to the hospital that concerns us. I don’t think any of us really trusts you on your own within reach of a vehicle,” Jackson said skeptically.
“Is that why you guys are barel
y giving me any breathing room?”
“Do you blame us?” Shane asked, crossly.
I sighed. “I can see why you think I’m a flight risk. I promise not to take off again. However, I’d rather not add having my car or phone stolen to my shit-list.”
Trey scoffed. “Let’s go. She’s digging her heels in. We can either let her have her way or spend the next few hours fighting about it.”
CHAPTER TWENTY
Further Down That Rabbit Hole
When we got to the hospital, I was happy to see my Mazda. Jackson pulled alongside it and kept the engine running as I got out with Trey. I opened my door and ducked under the dash to secure the panel before grabbing my phone from the passenger seat. Trey kept an eye on me like I was about to run for it. Once we were back in the truck, Jackson drove out of the parking lot like a madman.
Sure, I’m the one that gets hauled into the station, yet my friends are the ones breaking every speed limit possible today. Where the hell is Johnny Law when you really need him?
“Jackson, slow down! Driving as if you were on the final lap of the Daytona 500 isn’t necessary,” I hissed, smacking the back of his seat.
“I’m driving like I always do,” he retorted.
“Yeah, I’m sure you always drive ninety.” I peeked over his shoulder to see that he was nearing a hundred. “Seriously, slow down. You’re going to end up getting us killed,” I demanded, decking him over the head.
Jackson scowled at me in the rearview mirror as he slowed down to seventy-five. I looked at my phone and took a deep breath while turning it on. I ignored the texts that were still rolling in and went to my voicemail to get that cleaned out. I deleted everything from the four of them, leaving four new messages left to hear.
The first message was from Micah’s mom. I gulped down the anxiety that crept up. I heard the worry in her voice, as she explained that there was no change. The second message was from Chase. He warned me he’d step in and stop me if I kept pressing for more answers. A string of profanities flew out while I deleted that message. The third was from Harrison, reminding me that he still essentially owned me, and me by saying in that Micah was only the beginning. I punched the window and deleted it. The temptation to get a gun and blow that asshole to pieces was becoming stronger by the second.
The last message was from Ethan. His deep voice sent my stomach into a flutter. He reminded me repeatedly that he’d never do anything to hurt me. He spent several minutes listing all the reasons why he loved me. My eyes glistened as my anger faded some. I was beyond confused when it came to him. I hadn’t considered what Ethan might do after he was in the loop. Something told me it wouldn’t be very good for anyone. I caught Bri watching me diligently, more than likely expecting a breakdown. I forced my mouth into a tight smile.
“Ethan?” she asked.
I nodded and gazed out the window for the rest of the ride. Before long, we were back in Jayden’s driveway. They exited quickly, but I didn’t move. I watched as Jackson and Shane exchanged small talk. Judging by their rigidness, they were struggling to get that much out. Bri had cuddled into Trey’s chest. He rubbed his arms along her back before nodding towards the truck. I slouched out of view. I knew it was going to be a matter of seconds before Bri was hopping in to give me a pep talk. I swung my legs across the backseat to lie down.
Might as well give the situation the backdrop it warrants. Clearly, I’m nuts. Anyone would have to be if they continued to run around and dig for dark secrets that only seemed to point to death and destruction.
Bri opened the door and took a seat up front. “Mia, whatever is behind that door doesn’t define you.”
I scoffed. “That’s easy for you to say. I’m trying to remain strong, but it’s impossible when every corner I turn there’s another horrible secret coming to light. You can say that it doesn’t change me all you want, but from this day forward it’s a part of my life. I’m the one that has to try to understand it, not to mention live with it.”
She let out a hefty sigh and patiently said, “I’m not going to sugarcoat this for you. It’s not going to be easy. The past may never be far, but it shouldn’t dictate the rest of your life. It’s there to educate us so we don’t make the same mistakes as our parents. In the end, the choice lies with you on what direction you take your life.”
It was hard to argue with her when she had so many valid points. I rose to my elbows and stared at her in disbelief. Bri gave me a tiny grin before patting my leg. “I’m not going to ask if you’re ready. No one could be in your shoes. You need to remember that you have us. That’s probably more than what most people get when their world falls out from under them.”
I smirked. “Did you switch degrees without telling me? You sound like a psychologist.”
Bri rolled her eyes. “No, I’ve always been this brilliant. You’re just too damn stubborn to notice it when we butt heads.”
She opened her door as I took a deep breath and followed her lead. Having a best friend in Bri had always been a godsend. She had come through yet again to help me move forward when I’d much rather wallow in my own self-pity. I met her at the front of the truck where she linked arms with me. As a group, we walked towards the house without a word. The front door opened before we had a chance to knock on it.
“I called hours ago,” Jayden grumbled, glaring at Jackson.
“I’ll level your ass in front of everyone, so watch it,” Jackson warned.
“Fuck off dude. You took your sweet-ass time getting back here,” Jayden retorted.
“Jayden, it’s my fault it took so long. I sort of took a detour this morning after we got home. If you want to be angry at anyone, point it this way,” I interrupted.
His face softened as he opened the door wider. We entered and headed for the living room. Unlike earlier, we got cozy on the couches and recliners. Jayden brought up the rear and settled into his throne at his computer. The laptop was off and sitting at the corner of his desk with what appeared to be a USB drive on top of it. I nodded towards it.
“You’ll be able to return it without anyone knowing it’s been hacked. I’ve wiped my tracks. The best hackers in the world wouldn’t find a thing. The drive is for you. We’ll call it insurance. I’ll get to that later,” Jayden clarified, smiling genuinely.
“I really appreciate everything you’ve done,” I said wholeheartedly.
Jackson slapped a hand on Jayden’s shoulder. “Thanks bro. Sorry for being an asshole the entire time.”
Jayden rolled his eyes at Jackson before he looked back to me. He was all business as he said, “Everything I was theorizing on earlier turned out to be true.”
I waved my hand to interject. Jayden stared at me, clearly puzzled. I offered a small smile and explained, “I did some digging too. You can focus on anything concerning my dad or why these people are interested in me.”
“It’s the money,” Jayden said quickly.
My eyebrows scrunched together. “If it’s been about the money all along, why didn’t they go after me a year ago?”
Jayden looked to Jackson for support. Jackson nodded to continue. “Umm … the thing is … When your mom changed your identity, she fabricated the year you were born. You’re not twenty-two. You’re last birthday was your twenty-third,” Jayden replied uneasily.
“What!” I exclaimed.
Jayden watched me with clear concern. The shocked gasps from everyone else were enough for me to keep my head down. I ran my fingers across my scar before giving Jayden my attention again.
“The account doesn’t allow you access to it until you turn twenty-three. Since that happened a few weeks ago, it’s no surprise people are threatening your life to make sure you do what they want,” Jayden continued, his tone full of remorse.
I massaged my temples to ease the pressure that had returned in full force. “If my mom has my real birth certificate, what difference does it make if I have access to it?”
“Sean and Colin have been trying to get yo
ur mom out of hiding for years. She fell off the radar shortly after she left you with Chase. From the detailed files I swept through, they gave up on her to look for you.”
“If she made it appear as though we were dead, why would anyone be concerned with finding her, or me?”
Jayden became exasperated and answered, “Mia, these people are heartless. Even if you had died, I’m sure they’d exhaust every avenue to verify it.”
I flinched and asked, “Why would she set up an account that way? From what I gathered this morning between Chase and Lillian, she never intended for me to know the truth.”
Trey gaped at me, clearly blown away. I chewed on the insides of my cheek and gave him a small nod. He ran his hands through his hair before settling them roughly against his chest. Jackson, Shane, and Bri gazed between the two of us in complete shock.
“It’s hard to say. Maybe this was her stepping-stone to get back into your life when the time was right. I don’t believe she has your birth certificate. I think it’s tucked away in another safe-deposit box that’s in your name.”
I narrowed my eyes at Jayden and sniped, “Which name?”
He kneeled in front of me with heartfelt eyes. “You’ll always be Mia Ryan to us, so when I say ‘your name’, that’s the only name I have in my heart. I guarantee you every person in this room feels the same way.”
“Yes,” they all answered immediately.
“So she left a trail to an account with an astronomical amount of money and a deposit box for me to uncover. Is she insane?” I muttered, fidgeting with my necklace.
Jayden smirked. “No, she’s quite brilliant. She made it very difficult for anyone to get to that money, and you.”
My heart contracted unexpectedly as I asked, “What about my dad? Did you uncover anything on him?”
Jayden focused on me, unmistakably sorry. “Truthfully, I can’t find anything on him after that accident so he could very well be dead. Did you find anything out?”